Humor Harrier Tiercel Quotes

Yeah, well, that's what you said the last time it did this, and it was doing it that time too,' Tiercel said waspishly.
Clear as mud,' Harrier muttered. ~ Mercedes Lackey

Yeah, and if I have to choose between being eaten by the Endarkened and telling my Da I'm a Wildmage, I'm not sure which I'd pick. ~ Mercedes Lackey

If he didn't get out of here - right now - Harrier was either going to break into hysterical laughter or strangle somebody. ~ Mercedes Lackey

Among the dragons, the prohibition against asking direct questions did not exist, and-as Harrier discovered immediately-dragons were even more outrageous gossips than sailors. ~ Mercedes Lackey

[Harrier] locked eyes with Zanattar. He couldn't remember another time in his life when he'd been this angry and hadn't hit something. ~ Mercedes Lackey

And don't even suggest that these would be better off in Tiercel's hands. No, Tiercel has other things to do with his life. You, on the other hand, get to protect him. And guess what that makes you?"
"Stupid?" Harrier suggested. "Suicidal?"
"A Knight-Mage!" the unicorn cried cheerfully. ~ Mercedes Lackey

The post on her left was occupied by Mr. Erskine of Treadley, an old gentleman of considerable charm and culture, who had fallen, however, into bad habits of silence, having, as he explained once to Lady Agatha, said everything that he had to say before he was thirty. ~ Oscar Wilde

While looking at a website for liposuction, I learned that it was a six-to eight-week recovery period, the clincher being that, during that time, I would under no circumstances be able to use street drugs. Obviously I had to think of a more realistic approach. ~ Chelsea Handler

I'm assuming you didn't just call me to come out of the closet to a blind woman'

'Oh, it's something I do everyday,' Kate said, enjoying Faith's sense of humor. 'I open up a phone book, randomly select a name, dial it, and when they answer, I proclaim I'm a lesbian and then hang up. ~ Laurie Salzler

Are you threatening me?" He looked completely outraged at such a thing.
"You bet your incredibly attractive and probably hard enough to bounce a quarter off ass I am!" she snapped back.
An indescribable look flitted across his face. "You are the most irreverent woman I've ever met."
"And you're the handsomest man I've ever seen in my life, but that doesn't mean I'm going to lick you!" she yelled. ~ Katie MacAlister

Aw, hell!" Kyle grumbled. My gaze flickered toward him at the sound of his voice. I could just see his bright eyes around Jared's elbow, focused on me. " It didn't fall!" He complained.
Jared lundged forward, away from me. With a loud smacking sound, his fist hit Kyle's face.
Kyle's eyes rolled back in his head, and his mouth fell slack.
The room was very quiet for a few seconds.
"Um," Doc said in a mild voice, "medically speaking, I'm not sure that was the most helpful thing for his condition."
"But I feel better," Jared answered, sullen. ~ Stephenie Meyer

Stop," he murmured, or at least that's what he meant to say. It came out sounding more like "Yes," which probably wasn't the same thing at all. ~ Tawna Fenske

Dear Mr. Garry,
Let us face it. Small considerations, magnified by the conventions, are not important to people like you and me. It is our duty to found a super-race together. My background of deep study into esoteric matters has convinced me that the only thing that can save the race is to people the world with the superior strain evident in both of us. I enclose a nude photograph of myself and will appreciate it if you will do likewise. I am thirty three years old and have kept myself sacrosanct awaiting this great moment. ~ Theodore Sturgeon

Her cousin had clearly found a kindred penis in Jack Kilroy. ~ Kate Meader

Sam found a chair under Robin's butt and evicted him from it, bringing it over to his pregnant wife."Sorry, I wasn't thinking," Robin apologized.
"Thanks," Alyssa said to Robin as she sat down, even as she gave Sam a darkly amused look.
"What?" he said. "I was just helping him think. ~ Suzanne Brockmann

See if you can spot the difference between these two statements:

(a) «Those trousers make your backside look fat.»

(b) «You're a repellently obese old hag upon whom I am compelled to heap insults and derision - depressingly far removed from the, 'stupid, squeaky, pocket-sized English women,' who make up my vast catalogue of former lovers and to whom I might as well return right now as I hate everything about you.»

Maybe the acoustics were really bad in the dining room, or something. ~ Mil Millington

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded. ~ Terry Pratchett

I'm a sarcastic person. I learn through humor. ~ Rachel Maddow

I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unmanly fear, but trust me. It was a battle cry. ~ Jim Butcher

Isn't reality based on the prevailing culture, the trend that people want to identify with? ~ Janvier Chouteu-Chando

Who needed drugs when winning felt this good? ~ Melissa Landers

I'm terribly sorry, Fergal."
"What for? Marrying him? I should think you would be, Angel. ~ Trisha Ashley

You are sad," the Knight said in an anxious tone: "let me sing you a song to comfort you."

"Is it very long?" Alice asked, for she had heard a good deal of poetry that day.

"It's long," said the Knight, "but it's very, very beautiful. Everybody that hears me sing it - - either it brings the tears into their eyes, or else - - "

"Or else what?" said Alice, for the Knight had made a sudden pause.

"Or else it doesn't, you know. The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes.'"

"Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested.

"No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The name really is 'The Aged Aged Man.'"

"Then I ought to have said 'That's what the song is called'?" Alice corrected herself.

"No, you oughtn't: that's quite another thing! The song is called 'Ways And Means': but that's only what it's called, you know!"

"Well, what is the song, then? " said Alice, who was by this time completely bewildered.

"I was coming to that," the Knight said. "The song really is 'A-sitting On A Gate': and the tune's my own invention. ~ Lewis Carroll

The boy heaved a sigh. "I would ask to go with you," he said, " but I have to finish my lessons. I so look forward to the day when I know everything. Then I won't have to read any more books or do any more counting."
Beatrix smiled. "I don't wish to be discouraging, Rye, but it's not possible to know everything."
"Mama does." Rye paused reflectively. "At least, Papa says we mus t pretend she does, because it makes her happy."
"Your father," Beatrix informed him with a laugh, " is one of the wisest men I've ever known. ~ Lisa Kleypas

Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious. ~ Scott Dikkers

I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy. And I guess that leaves me somewhere sort of ... here. ~ C. JoyBell C.

The police stopped me when I was out in my car. They told me it was a spot check. I admitted to two pimples and a boil. ~ Chic Murray

I'd rather shit on my hands and clap. ~ Belle Aurora

Sometimes I'm beside myself wondering who is next to me. ~ U.L. Harper

Fantasies are like extra cash. They need to be banked for later use. ~ John Waters

Zaphod left the controls for Ford to figure out, and lurched over to Arthur.

"Look, Earthman," he said angrily, "you've got a job to do, right? The Question to the Ultimate Answer, right?"

"What, that thing?" said Arthur, "I thought we'd forgotten about that."

"Not me, baby. Like the mice said, it's worth a lot of money in the right quarters. And it's all locked up in that head thing of yours."

"Yes but ..."

"But nothing! Think about it. The Meaning of Life! We get our fingers on that we can hold every shrink in the Galaxy up to ransom, and that's worth a bundle. I owe mine a mint."

Arthur took a deep breath without much enthusiasm.

"Alright," he said, "but where do we start? How should I know? They say the Ultimate Answer or whatever is Forty-two, how am I supposed to know what the question is? It could be anything. I mean, what's six times seven?"

Zaphod looked at him hard for a moment. Then his eyes blazed with excitement.

"Forty-two!" he cried.

Arthur wiped his palm across his forehead.

"Yes," he said patiently, "I know that."

Zaphod's faces fell.

"I'm just saying that the question could be anything at all," said Arthur, "and I don't see how I am meant to know. ~ Douglas Adams

He'd done his walls with paint from Holy Basil. God, I yearned for their colors. I hadn't been able to afford them myself but I knew their color chart like the back of my hand. His hall was done in Gangrene, his stairs in Agony and his living room
unless I was very much mistaken
in Dead Whale. Colors I personally very much approved of. ~ Marian Keyes

•The key to fighting is never to fight unless the cause is so great that you couldn't bear not to defend it and the losses you are going to suffer are things that you could afford to lose. If you do fight, the thing to remember is that it is going to hurt because that is what happens in a fight and you might as well reconcile yourself to it in the beginning and then it will not matter when it happens ~ Jennifer Crusie

Alfred," Merryweather said. "OIPEP is the only organization of its kind in the world, with practically unlimited resources and an intelligence network that spans every country in the planet. We shall do what any powerful, multinational bureaucracy would do in such a crisis. We shall hold a meeting! ~ Rick Yancey

Awash with trepidation, he was suddenly on the mattress, lured like an errant sailor onto a siren's rocky shore. ~ Kevin Ansbro

I no longer needed a reason for my existence, just a reason to live. And imagination, free will, love, humor, fun, music, sports, beer, and pizza are all good enough reasons for living. But living an honest life - for that you need the truth. ~ Ricky Gervais

I took a couple steps away from him and stopped in front of a framed colored poster of Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable from the movie Gone with the Wind. I studied the pair, Gable with his mysterious mustache and Leigh in her red ball gown. I'd become a fan of the classic, partially because of my mother's suggestion that I looked a lot like a younger Vivien Leigh, with my dark wavy hair and sea green eyes. And as usual, I'd believed her for a little while. ~ J.C. Patrick

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. ~ Terry Pratchett

Now, Mr. Shaughnessy, remember what happened the last time your wife got jealous of your flirting? She exchanged your denture cream for hemorrhoidal ointment. ~ Leslie Kelly

I've always been attracted to humor and funny people in general. It's a joy to make people laugh, but it's not as fun as laughing yourself. ~ Jennifer Garner

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me. ~ Chevy Chase

Gentlemen," returned Mr. Micawber, "do with me as you will! I am a straw upon the surface of the deep, and am tossed in all directions by the elephants- I beg your pardon; I should have said the elements. ~ Charles Dickens

There is sometimes a fine line between a cop and a criminal. What drives their personality may be the same, and they have simply chosen different roles and professions to call their own."

Dr. ML Rapier PhD, Clinical Psychologist. ~ M.L Rapier