Snarky Thanksgiving Quotes

If there is any truth in the world, it lies when I'm with you, and if I find the courage to speak my truth to you one day, remind me to light a candle in thanksgiving at every altar in Rome. ~ Andre Aciman

He auditioned with Lily, and he and Lily had incredible chemistry that sort of blazed off the scene. I'm just sitting here watching this on my computer, and you know, he was not the only person they've ever sent me to look at. I've gotten lots of headshots and this and that, and I'm watching the audition and I literally started crying because that was my Jace and Clary on the screen. And it's an incredible feeling to see that even as an audition. This is amazing. He was snarky funny where he needed to be snarky funny, and he was badass where he needed to be badass. And he and Lily were incredible together ~ Cassandra Clare

I can't think of a more wonderful thanksgiving for the life I have had than that everyone should be jolly at my funeral ~ Lord Mountbatten

True thankfulness is being thankful not only for what you have, but for what you don't have to have! DC ~ Debbie Croley

Pride slays thanksgiving ... A prideful man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, I don't need a pardon. I need a job.' ~ Conan O'Brien

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7). ~ Chris Hodges

I hate cooking. But I do make the candied yams every year at Thanksgiving. And they're awesome! You could definitely get diabetes and cavities from them, but they're delicious! ~ Marlon Wayans

The thing to remember is that children are temporary. As soon as they develop a sense of humor and get to be good company, maybe even remember to take the trash out and close the refrigerator door, they pack up their electronic equipment and their clothes, and some of your clothes, and leave in a U-Haul, to return only at Thanksgiving. ~ Barbara Holland

Is it normal to make a minute-to-minute schedule for the timing of thanksgiving? I'm asking for a friend. ~ Casey Wilson

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year because it reminds us to give thanks and to count our blessings. Suddenly, so many things become so little when we realize how blessed and lucky we are. ~ Joyce Giraud

NO MUSE IS GOOD MUSE
-by Rochelle Distelheim
To be an Artist you need talent, as well as a wife
who washes the socks and the children,
and returns phone calls and library books and types.
In other words, the reason there are so many more
Men Geniuses than Women Geniuses is not Genius.
It is because Hemingway never joined the P.T.A.
And Arthur Rubinstein ignored Halloween.
Do you think Portnoy's creator sits through children's theater
matinees--on Saturdays?
Or that Norman Mailer faced 'driver's ed' failure,
chicken pox or chipped teeth?
Fitzgerald's night was so tender because the fender
his teen-ager dented happened when Papa was at a story conference.
Since Picasso does the painting, Mrs. Picasso did the toilet training.
And if Saul Bellow, National Book Award winner, invited thirty-three
for Thanksgiving Day dinner, I'll bet he had help.
I'm sure Henry Moore was never a Cub Scout leader,
and Leonard Bernstein never instructed a tricycler
On becoming a bicycler just before he conducted.
Tell me again my anatomy is not necessarily my destiny,
tell me my hang-up is a personal and not a universal quandary,
and I'll tell you no muse is a good muse
unless she also helps with the laundry.
-Rochelle Distelheim
=============================== ~ Rochelle Distelheim

Live everyday like your birthday and drive your life with all varieties of appreciation. A life live with thanksgiving every day is never tired of being lived again and again! ~ Israelmore Ayivor

Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.' ~ David Letterman

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your peace that rules my heart. I choose Your peace today and thank You for guiding my every step. I choose to be thankful today and bless You for Your faithfulness. In Jesus Name. Amen. ~ Joel Osteen

You took so long I got bored." She widened her smile, teeth showing. "Next time freshen up quicker, princess. ~ Katherine McIntyre

Well … when do you want to get married?"
"Tomorrow."
She burst out laughing again. "How about next spring?"
"How about later this week?"
"A Christmas wedding, then."
"Thanksgiving."
"But that's only two weeks away!"
"Two damn long weeks, if you ask me. ~ Janet Chapman

Wow. See? You can't say that's not impressive." I recognize the names, even if I don't know what they all did.
"I didn't." He reaches for his wallet and pays our admission charge. I try to get it - since it was my idea in the first place - but he insists. "Happy Thanksgiving," he says, handing me my ticket. "Let's see some dead people." We're greeted by an unimaginable number of domes and columns and arches. Everything is huge and round. ~ Stephanie Perkins

Sharing in God's blessings is at the heart of Thanksgiving and at the core of the American spirit. ~ William J. Clinton

Snarky, sexy and so much fun. Sugar Jamison is sure to be a hit!. ~ Kristan Higgins

Any woman who votes for no-fault divorce is like a turkey voting for Thanksgiving. ~ Pat Robertson

All glory to the Adonai! ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

I am thankful to the Lord His daily provisions. ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

This was Jace being brave. Simon thought, brave and snarky because he thought Lilith was going to kill him, and that was the way he wanted to go, unafraid and on his feet. Like a warrior. The way Shadowhunters did. His death song would always be this-jokes and snideness and pretend arrogance, and that look in his eyes that said 'I'm better than you'. Simon just hadn't realized it before. ~ Cassandra Clare

Gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy. ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. ~ Johnny Carson

Snark is what people on the inside call any attempt at protest from people on the outside. I hate it on principle, as do all Columbia professors, Catholic priests, and Mississippi Klansmen. ~ David Denby

Stand up, on this Thanksgiving Day, stand upon your feet. Believe in man. Soberly and with clear eyes, believe in your own time and place. There is not, and there never has been a better time, or a better place to live in. ~ Phillips Brooks

Save a life this Thanksgiving, and join me in starting a new tradition by adopting a turkey instead of eating one through Farm Sanctuary's Adopt-A-Turkey Project. ~ Ellen DeGeneres

We give glory to God of Heaven. ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

And now that Thanksgiving has passed, I will take a moonlight ramble through the woods – yes, the city has its culture and cafes, and the sea has its drama, but for now give me the fallen leaves and rolling hills and the smell of the earth after a rain! Give me that over all the operas on earth, so long as I can harpoon whales with my pen! ~ Mark Beauregard

This worship, given therefore to the Trinity of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, above all accompanies and permeates the celebration of the Eucharistic liturgy. But it must fill our churches also outside the timetable of Masses. Indeed, since the Eucharistic mystery was instituted out of love, and makes Christ sacramentally present, it is worthy of thanksgiving and worship. And this worship must be prominent in all our encounters with the Blessed Sacrament, both when we visit our churches and when the sacred species are taken to the sick and administered to them ~ Pope John Paul II

When I was about nine years old, I announced to my mother that I was going to cook Thanksgiving dinner. And I went to the library and got this whole pile of books. I'd love to say it all turned out great. It didn't. But, sort of, from that point on, whenever there was serious cooking at home, I was the one who did it. ~ Nathan Myhrvold

My favourite character would have to be 'Ash,' because I love my brooding bad boys. But a certain snarky talking cat runs a very close second. ~ Julie Kagawa

God cherises praises , admires thanksgiving and embraces prayer . ~ Osunsakin Adewale

Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?' ~ Greg Proops

It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful 'in general.' It's very strange. It's a little like being married in general. ~ Cornelius Plantinga

Tonight," said Mack Nuggett,
"These feathery beasts
Will be chopped up and roasted
For Thanksgiving feasts."

The children stood still
As tears filled their eyes,
Then they clamored aloud
In a chorus of cries.

"Oh dear," cried Mack Nuggett,
"Now what shall I do?"
So he dashed to the well,
And the teacher went, too.

And they fetched some water
Fresh from the ground,
In hopes that a swig
Might calm everyone down.

And when they returned
To quiet the matter,
The children were calmer
(And mysteriously fatter!).

The boys and girls drank up
Their drinks in the hay,
Then thanked old Mack Nuggett
And waddled away.

They limped to the school bus
All huffing and puffing--
It's not easy to walk
With hot turkey stuffing.

And then, as the school bus drove off in the night,
Mack Nuggett looked 'round--not a turkey in sight! ~ Dav Pilkey