Snarky Remarks Quotes

You took so long I got bored." She widened her smile, teeth showing. "Next time freshen up quicker, princess. ~ Katherine McIntyre

Snark is what people on the inside call any attempt at protest from people on the outside. I hate it on principle, as do all Columbia professors, Catholic priests, and Mississippi Klansmen. ~ David Denby

Ah yes…" He made an exaggerated nod. "I was supposed to be filling you in on Nangí's story." He winked at me playfully, as I kept up my glare. "Now, where should I begin?"

"Tell you what, let me get you started," I came back. "Once upon a time, there was this über-creepy old man - who looks like he lives in a haunted shack and eats small children for breakfast - and I decided to make him my new best friend becaaauuse… Okay, your turn. ~ M.A. George

You catch more flies with honey, ever heard of that?" He shrugged. "I don't like flies. They're annoying." He grinned "I'd rather catch hell. ~ Heather Hildenbrand

You like my forearms?
No, not yours in particular. I mean, they're fine. Just, it's a sexy body part.
I totally agree. I just didn't know girls liked them too.
Oh, yes, Daniel. All girls like forearms. Every single one. No really, I've asked all of us and we all agree. We don't even agree about whether or not the long arm of the law should be able to reach into our vaginas, but we agree about forearms. ~ Roan Parrish

Let me guess," the frog interrupted,"Like every other human explored I've even met, you want to know the meaning of life."
"I didn't-"
"The answer's forty-four. The machine was off by two" the frog snapped, "Believe me, it makes a world of difference... ~ Nnedi Okorafor-Mbachu

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. 'We spent one night together.'
'You had sex then?'
'No we crocheted a quilt.' I cocked my head to side and gave him my nastiest glare. Lorelei Preston to Agent Brody-The Wild Hunt ~ Ashley Jeffery

With a curse, Zaynab followed. "If I've not said it lately, I think I hate you."

"You know, for a magical being, you have a terrible sense of adventure," Nahri replied, touching one of the eddies of paint, a blue swell that looked like a wave. ~ S.A. Chakraborty

Halil snorted. "If you have courage, I am a donkey."

"That has always been my personal opinion of you, but I never expected you to agree with me. ~ Kiersten White

If all the world's a stage, then it's missing a few planks. ~ John Fogarty

Snark is not the response of "the masses" to the inane doublespeak of politicians. It's a defense mechanism for writers who, having nothing to say, are absolutely terrified of being criticized or derided. Snarky writing reflects a primal fear - the fear of being laughed at. Snarky writers don't want to be mocked, so they strike first by mocking everyone in sight. ~ Ryan Holiday

I was not surprised. Indeed, my only wonder was that he had not already been mixed up in this extraordinary case, which was the one topic of conversation through the length and breadth of England. For a whole day my companion had rambled about the room with his chin upon his chest and his brows knitted, charging and recharging his pipe with the strongest black tobacco, and absolutely deaf to any of my questions or remarks. Fresh editions of every paper had been sent up by our news agent, only to be glanced over and tossed down into a corner. Yet, silent as he was, I knew perfectly well what it was over which he was brooding. There was but one problem before the public which could challenge his powers of analysis, and that was the singular disappearance of the favorite for the Wessex Cup, and the tragic murder of its trainer. When, therefore, he suddenly announced his intention of setting out for the scene of the drama it was only what I had both expected and hoped for. ~ Arthur Conan Doyle

I often quote Ronald Reagan, who is pretty close to my favorite President ever, I will have to say that, but one of my favorite remarks he ever made was that when you look at Federal programs, there is nothing so close to eternal life on Earth as a Federal Government program. ~ Marsha Blackburn

But most of the time when I wear them, I don't know, I'm kind of hoping - foolishly, probably - that people will read it, get the message, change their lives for the better, even if it's only in the smallest of ways, and make the world a better place." Knox was still grinning as he buttered his toast. "So you're saying your shirts are like a butterfly effect?" "Pretty much, yeah. And when they hand me my Nobel Peace Prize in fifty years for changing the world, one snarky shirt at a time, I'm going to wave it in your face and chant 'Told ya so' about a million times. ~ Nicole Williams

The President publicly apologized today to all those offended by his brother's remark, There's more Arabs in this country than there is Jews! Those offended include Arabs, Jews, and English teachers. ~ Jimmy Carter

When I really love someone, I can only show it by making aggressive and bad-taste remarks. ~ Slavoj Zizek

Never say anything to hurt anyone. Moreover ... refrain from double talk, from shrewd and canny remarks that are designed to advance our interests at someone's disadvantage. We are to turn our back upon evil, and in every way possible, do good, help people and bring blessings into their lives. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

He was my age and in my imagination he was a fireman, not the kind that actually fights fires but the kind who travels the country shirtless posing for calendars. ~ Marika Christian

When it appeared that even the most passive-aggressive attempts would not work, Charlie resorted to the ultimate Beta Male Attack, which was to tolerate Alvin and Mohammed's presence, but to resent the hell out of them and drop snide remarks whenever he had the chance. ~ Christopher Moore

Now we must remark, that there are two parts in the Commandment-the first forbids the erection of a graven image, or any likeness; the second prohibits the transferring of the worship which God claims for Himself alone, to any of these phantoms or delusive shows. ~ John Calvin

I'm sure you heard a lot of sarcastic remarks when you first arrived, but by the time I got there, to everyone else you were just a part of the party. But unlike everyone else, you were the whole reason I came. ~ Jay Asher

Men and women of western Sydney, it's appropriate, you apparently believe, that Australia's oldest surviving Prime Minister should make the concluding remarks in Australia's oldest surviving Government House. I hope the building's foundations are a bit more substantial than mine. ~ Gough Whitlam

Before I opened my computer in the parking lot today, I relived one of my favorite memories. It's the one with Woody and me sitting on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum after it's closed. We're watching people parade out of the museum in summer shorts and sandals. The trees to the south are planted in parallel lines. The water in the fountain shoots up with a mist that almost reaches the steps we sit on. We look at silver-haired ladies in red-and-white-print dresses. We separate the mice from the men, the tourists from the New Yorkers, the Upper East Siders from the West Siders. The hot-pretzel vendor sells us a wad of dough in knots with clumps of salt stuck on top. We make our usual remarks about the crazies and wonder what it would be like to live in a penthouse apartment on Fifth Avenue overlooking the Met. We laugh and say the same things we always say. We hold hands and keep sitting, just sitting, as the sun beings to set. It's a perfect afternoon. ~ Diane Keaton

Your H-Highness...," Michael stammered, "I-I wish I'd had a chance to prepare some remarks. ~ John Stephens

One word spoken from the heart is worth a thousand clever remarks. ~ Marty Rubin

When we take the position that it is not only the programmer's responsibility to produce a correct program but also to demonstrate its correctness in a convincing manner, then the above remarks have a profound influence on the programmer's activity: the object he has to produce must be usefully structured. ~ Edsger Dijkstra

Freud's fundamental thought, on which these remarks are based, is formulated by the assumption that consciousness comes into being at the site of a memory trace. ~ Walter Benjamin

Our remarks above indicate the depth and complexity of the traditional and applied qualitative research perspectives into which a socially situated researcher enters. These traditions locate the researcher in history, simultaneously guiding and constraining work that will be done in any specific study. This field has been constantly characterized by diversity and conflict, and these are its most enduring traditions (see Levin & Greenwood, ~ Norman K. Denzin

At the risk of hurting your feelings, I think you should know that some kisses are more special than others. ~ Jessica Steele

There are some remarks that are so stupid that to be even vaguely aware of them is the intellectual equivalent of living next door to Chernobyl. ~ Elizabeth Wurtzel

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet. ~ Conan O'Brien

Walt, at about eleven, had a routine of looking at Seymour's wrists and telling him to take off his sweater. "Take off your sweater, hey, Seymour. Go ahead, hey. It's warm in here." S. would beam back at him, shine back at him. He loved that kind of horseplay from any of the kids. I did, too, but only off and on. He did invariably. He thrived, too, waxed strong, on all tactless or underconsidered remarks directed at him by family minors. In 1959, in fact, when on occasion I hear rather nettling news of the doings of my youngest brother and sister, I think on the quantities of joy they brought S. I remember Franny, at about four, sitting on his lap, facing him, and saying, with immense admiration, "Seymour, your teeth are so nice and yellow!" He literally staggered over to me to ask if I'd heard what she said. ~ J.D. Salinger

I expect everything will turn out all right in the end,' said Twoflower.
Rincewind looked at him. remarks like that always threw him.
'Do you really believe that?' he said. 'I mean, really?'
'Well, things generally do work out satisfactorily, when you come to think about it.'
'If you think the total disruption of my life for the last year is satisfactory then you might be right. I've lost count of the times I've nearly been killed
'
'Twenty-seven,' said Twoflower.
'What?'
'Twenty-seven times,' said Twoflower helpfully. 'I worked it out. But you never actually have.'
'What? Worked it out?' said Rincewind, who was beginning to have the familiar feeling that the conversation had been mugged. ~ Terry Pratchett

I heard that [Clarkson] said some petty things about someone I care deeply about, so I just made some petty remarks 'cause I'm a petty guy. ~ Bill Vaughan

If I were a snarky Reddit user though, I would say, hypothetically, that that would just be like reading Reddit's Front Page a day later. But I'm not going to go there. ~ Alexis Ohanian

Hey, Zee," I said. "I take it that you can fix it, but it'll be miserable, and you'd rather haul it to the dump and start from scratch."
"Piece of junk," groused Zee. "What's not rusted to pieces is bent. If you took all the good parts and put them in a pile, you could carry them out in your pocket." There was a little pause. "Even if you only had a small pocket."
I patted the car. "Don't you listen to him," I whispered to it. "You'll be out of here and back on the road in no time."
Zee propelled himself all the way under the car so his head stuck out by my feet. "Don't you promise something you can't deliver," he snarled.
I raised my eyebrows, and said in dulcet tones, "Are you telling me you can't fix it? I'm sorry. I distinctly remember you saying that there is nothing you can't fix. I must have been mistaken, and it was someone else wearing your mouth."
He gave a growl that would have done Sam credit, and pushed himself back under again, muttering,"Deine Mutter war ein Cola-Automat!"
"Her mama might have been a pop machine," I said, responding to one of the remarks I understood even at full Zee-speed. "Your mama . . ." sounds the same in a number of languages.
"But she was a beauty in her day." I grinned at Gabriel. "We women have to stick together. ~ Patricia Briggs

Did you have somewhere else you needed to be?" I ask, deflecting the question.

"Yes," she says. But it's lacking truth and comes out a little sullenly.

"Where? Is there a murder marathon on TV this afternoon, safety girl?"

"No!" she says. But she says it too quickly and fidgets in her seat.

"Holy shit, there is, isn't there? You're so weird." She's amazing.

"It's a Criminal Minds marathon, jerk," she retorts and this conversation starts to make sense. I'm competing with a fucking television show.

"So you wanted to get home to watch reruns, is what you're telling me?"

"Fine," she huffs. "I guess I can watch reruns another time."

"Thanks," I say drily. "That's big of you."

"You're welcome," she replies and I'm honestly not sure if she's being snarky or serious ~ Jana Aston

The sermon has been reduced to parenthetical church remarks about newspaper events, ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer

If about a dozen genera of birds had become extinct or were unknown, who would have ventured to have surmised that birds might have existed which used their wings solely as flappers, like the logger-headed duck (Micropterus of Eyton); as fins in the water and front legs on the land, like the penguin; as sails, like the ostrich; and functionally for no purpose, like the Apteryx. Yet the structure of each of these birds is good for it, under the conditions of life to which it is exposed, for each has to live by a struggle; but it is not necessarily the best possible under all possible conditions. It must not be inferred from these remarks that any of the grades of wing-structure here alluded to, which perhaps may all have resulted from disuse, indicate the natural steps by which birds have acquired their perfect power of flight; but they serve, at least, to show what diversified means of transition are possible. ~ Charles Darwin

Let me speak plainly: The United States of America is and must remain a nation of openness to people of all beliefs. Our very unity has been strengthened by this pluralism. That's how we began; this is how we must always be. The ideals of our country leave no room whatsoever for intolerance, anti-Semitism, or bigotry of any kind
none. The unique thing about America is a wall in our Constitution separating church and state. It guarantees there will never be a state religion in this land, but at the same time it makes sure that every single American is free to choose and practice his or her religious beliefs or to choose no religion at all. Their rights shall not be questioned or violated by the state.
Remarks at the International Convention of B'nai B'rith, 6 September 1984 ~ Ronald Reagan

I was scrolling through my Twitter feed one day, and somebody had tweeted me a picture of Justin Bieber that had been Photoshopped with makeup or something. And I thought it was funny and so I hit retweet - I just retweeted a tweet - and all of a sudden, the remarks were coming in. ~ Drake Bell

All is going well so far. There are some remarks here and there and there are some complaints here and there but we expect to resolve those questions or complaints Sunday and the next day. ~ Saadi

The people too seemed diminished. Her favourite aunt was still her favourite, of course, but whereas she had always been impressed by the wisdom of what her aunt said, now her words seemed no more than trite. And what was worse, she had actually felt embarrassed at some of her pronouncements, thinking that such observations would seem quaint in Gaborone. That had made her feel guilty, and she had tried to smile appreciatively at her aunt's remarks, but somehow the effort seemed too great. She knew this was wrong; she knew that you should never forget what you owed to home, and to family, and to the place that nurtured you, but sometimes it was difficult to put this into practice. ~ Alexander McCall Smith

Patients, beings who want to be rehabilitated, send me questions See? I answer them real fast, 1 2 3 done Like so You get?' Toby said, his pale green fingers clattering across the keyboard.

'I think so,' I said, shifting in my chair.

'Okay hear we go First question: I just moved to a new city and there's a school next door All the kids, every last student, wear the same clothes Are they all related Is this one of those mafia families I need to be careful around You know the answer? Toby asked, swiveling to face me.

'Perhaps,' I said after thinking a moment. It took a second to distinguish when the question ended and when Toby's remarks started.

'You sure, I can check real quick 1 2 3 I check that fast,' Toby said, his words zooming out of his mouth while Google search engine popped up on his computer screen. ~ K.M. Shea