Rustic Clown Humor Quotes

...[A]nd I'll be wiser hereafter
And seek for grace. What a thrice-double ass
Was I to take this drunkard for a god
And worship this dull fool!
---Caliban speaking of Stephano and Trinculo
(lines 298 -301). ~ William Shakespeare

I'll show thee best springs; I'll pluck thee berries;
I'llift fish for thee and get thee wood enough.
A plague upon the tyrant that I serve!
I'll bear him no sticks, but follow thee,
Thou wondrous man.
---Caliban
(Act II, scene 2, lines 158-162) ~ William Shakespeare

And I'll be sworn 'tis true. Travelers ne'er did lie,
Though fools at home condemn 'em.
---Antonio
(Act III, scene 3, lines 26-27.) ~ William Shakespeare

No more dams I'll make for fish,
Nor fetch in firing
At requiring,
Nor scrape tethering, nor wash dishes.
'Ban, 'Ban, Ca--Caliban
Has a new master, get a new man.
Freedom, high-day! High-day! freedom! Freedom,
high-day, freedom!
---Caliban
(Act II, scene 2, lines 178-185) ~ William Shakespeare

These be fine things, an if they be not sprites.
That'said a brave god and bears celestial liquor.
I will kneel to him.
--Caliban
Act II, scene 2, lines 116-118) ~ William Shakespeare

Out o' th' moon, I do assure thee. I was the man in the moon when time was,
--Stephano
(Act II, scene 2, lines 136-137) ~ William Shakespeare

Lo, lo, again! Bite him to death, I prithee. ~ William Shakespeare

Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How cam'st thou to be seize of this moon calf? Can he vent Trinculos? ~ William Shakespeare

How does thy honor? Let me lick your shoe,
I'll not serve him; he is not valiant.
---Caliban
(Act III, scene 1, lines 23-24) ~ William Shakespeare

Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping. All the kind of the Launces have this very fault. I have received my proportion, like the prodigious son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's court. I think Crab, my dog, be the sourest-natured dog that lives. My mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear. He is a stone, a very pebble stone, and has no more pity in him than a dog. A Jew would have wept to have seen our parting. Why, my grandam, having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it. This shoe is my father. No, this left shoe is my father. No, no, this left shoe is my mother. Nay, that cannot be so neither. Yes, it is so, it is so -- it hath the worser sole. This shoe with the hole in it is my mother, and this my father. A vengeance on't! There 'tis. Now, sir, this staff is my sister, for, look you, she is as white as a lily and as small as a wand. This hat is Nan, our maid. I am the dog. No, the dog is himself, and I am the dog -- O, the dog is me, and I am myself. Ay, so, so. Now come I to my father: 'Father, your blessing.' Now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping. Now should I kiss my father -- well, he weeps on. Now come I to my mother. O, that she could speak now like a wood woman! Well, I kiss her -- why, there 'tis: here's my mother's breath up and d ~ William Shakespeare

I am so freaked our right now, you could pull a clown out of my ass and I wouldn't be at all surprised ~ John Green

Human beings are unable to be about the serious business of living and building societies if they feel compelled to always clown or entertain others. People do not take you seriously if you don't take yourself seriously. A sense of humor brings necessary balance to an organized life, but a life of humor blinds one to life. ~ Na'im Akbar

Primitive societies, or social groupings, had shamans, and some of them even more recent in time. Shamans were tricksters. There was a tradition of the trickster, and the trickster was a clown, a humorous fellow. His task was to trick the gods, to humor the gods into laughing, so that there was access to the divine - because laughter is a moment when we are completely ourselves. ~ George Carlin

The psychotic clown I sent for his birthday will feel like a feather falling on a pillow atop a cloud. The laxative in my lunch? Child's play. If you think it was bad when I sent that fake resume for his open assistant position and the stripper came for the interview? No. We're talking Defcon Five, Vietcong-level mind fucking, do you hear me, Chloe? ~ Christina Lauren

People who know me, they know I have a sense of humor, I'm a bit of a joker, a bit of a clown really, and I would love someone to exploit that side of me and send me a romantic comedy. ~ Gary Oldman

We are the craft of our towns. ~ Vineet Raj Kapoor

I'm more of a clown, a tragic clown. Yeah. I just like humor to come out of characters. ~ Amy Sedaris

I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls, I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up. I was so thin, I had to run around in the shower to get wet. That kind of thin. So I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm. ~ Kurt Fuller

I had gotten hungry for bratwurst and had been walking toward the entrance of one of the four McDonald's franchises in Undisclosed (if you think it's weird getting a bratwurst from a McDonald's, then you're not from the Midwest). I glanced at the cartoon clown logo in the window and let out a scream.
Just a little scream, and a manly one. But I still frightened one little girl on the sidewalk so badly that she screamed, too. ~ David Wong

I wasn't a class clown, because my parents were very strict and because nuns in general have no sense of humor. I mean zero, zip, nada. I wasted some of my best stuff on those old hags! Look at these knuckles - those are ruler marks, and they're still visible all these years later. But I could usually get out of trouble at home if I could get my mom laughing. That's a huge ace up your sleeve as a kid. ~ Dan Alatorre

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car. ~ Steven Wright

I took the Nuban's bow. I didn't trust the midget to be able to run down any thieves, and besides, I might want to shoot a circus clown or two. Just for laughs. ~ Mark Lawrence

Everyone hates clowns," Otis said. "Even other clowns hate clowns. ~ Rick Riordan

[To James Laughlin] It was pleasant to learn that you expected our correspondence to be read in the international salons and boudoirs of the future. Do you think they will be able to distinguish between the obfuscations, mystification, efforts at humor, and plain statement of fact? Will they recognize my primary feelings as a correspondent - the catacomb from which I write to you, seeking to secure some word from the real world, or at least news of the Far West - and sigh with compassion? Or will they just think I am nasty, an over-eager clown, gauche, awkward and bookish? Will they understand that I am always direct, open, friendly, simple and candid to the point of naïveté until the ways of the fiendish world infuriate me and I am poked to be devious, suspicious, calculating, not that it does me any good anyway? And for that matter, what will they make of your complex character? ~ Delmore Schwartz

This 'web of discourses' as Robyn called it...is as much a biological product as any of the other constructions to be found in the animal world. (Clothes too, are part of the extended phenotype of Homo Sapiens almost every niche inhabited by that species.An illustrated encyclopedia of zoology should no more picture Homo Sapiens naked than it should picture Ursus arctus-the black bear- wearing a clown suit and riding a bicycle. ~ Daniel C. Dennett

The notion that inspired play (even when audacious, offensive, or obscene) enhances rather than diminishes intellectual vigor and spiritual fulfillment, the notion that in the eyes of the gods the tight-lipped hero and the wet-cheeked victim are frequently inferior to the red-nosed clown, such notions are destined to be a hard sell to those who have E.M. Forster on their bedside table and a clump of dried narcissus up their ass.

Not to worry. As long as words and ideas exist, there will be a few misfits who will cavort with them in a spirit of *approfondement*–if I may borrow that marvelous French word that translates roughly as 'playing easily in the deep'–and in so doing they will occasionally bring to realization Kafka's belief that 'a novel should be an ax for the frozen seas around us'. ~ Tom Robbins

WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING?! Oh, right.$1500."
From "Clown Porn" in "Broken Headbone ~ Ginny McMath

Funny is like sexy, and they are kind of related. What turns one person on is hilarious to another person. And vice versa. And you can see all of this at the nexus of clowns. Many people think clowns are hilarious. (Many others think clowns are creepy.) But there is a certain percentage of people who think clowns are sexy. Don't believe me, Google "clown porn" right now. I dare you. And if you don't need to Google that, then it's because it is already saved on your browser. So when these dudes say, "Women aren't funny," they are forgetting a classically important addendum: "to me." They should be saying, "Women aren't funny to me." But they don't say "to me" because if you are a man in America, you are considered the norm. (Remember it's the NBA and the W[omen's]NBA, not the WNBA and the M[en's]NBA.) And if you are a white man in America, then you are also considered the norm. ~ W. Kamau Bell

Heaven wouldn't be like this earth, this tormented earth ruled by evil forces that tossed humanity to and fro like a slow clown in a two-bit rodeo. ~ Joe LaFlam

- "What kind of funny?" I asked her. "Funny like a clown onstage? Or funny like a clown hanging around the entrance to a bank?"
-"The bank one. ~ Lemony Snicket

ZANY, n. A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the _buffone_, or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play. The zany was progenitor to the specialist in humor, as we to-day have the unhappiness to know him. In the zany we see an example of creation; in the humorist, of transmission. Another excellent specimen of the modern zany is the curate, who apes the rector, who apes the bishop, who apes the archbishop, who apes the devil. ~ Ambrose Bierce

I wasn't a class clown, because nuns have no sense of humor. They have rulers. ~ Dan Alatorre

A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public; they thought it was a joke and applauded. He repeated it; the acclaim was even greater. I think that's just how the world will come to an end: to general applause from wits who believe it's a joke. ~ Soren Kierkegaard

CASSIO: Dost thou hear, my honest friend?
CLOWN: No, I hear not your honest friend, I hear you.
CASSIO: Prithee, keep up thy quillets. ~ William Shakespeare

I was always the clown in school. I had a personal put down sense of humor. I wasn't vindictive. I didn't make fun of people. ~ Jim Dale

I don't feel any need to play the role of the clown. In my private life I take a break from humor. ~ Gad Elmaleh

Perriwickturned to Penelope as he set the tray down on a table. "If I might be so bold, my lady-"
"Perriwick!" Blake roared. "If I hear the phrase 'if I might be so bold' one more time, as God is my
witness, I'm going to toss you into the channel!"
"Oh dear," Penelope said. "Perhaps he does have the fever, after all.Perriwick , what do you think?"
The butler reached for Blake's forehead, only to have his hand nearly bitten off. "Touch me and die,"
Blake snarled. ~ Julia Quinn

It's all the rage. Billionaire Doms. Kink. All that stuff. But they just like the fantasy of it. Tie a girl up and slap her ass and you're going to get slammed with a lawsuit. ~ C.M. Owens

Blessed are You God, ruler of the world, Who created man in wisdom and created within him numerous orifices and spaces. It is known and revealed before You that if one of them should open when it should close or one of them should close when it should open, it would be impossible for us to exist. Blessed are You God, Who heals all mankind and does wonders. ~ Dennis Prager

I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards. ~ Rudyard Kipling

The prince put the dagger on the table. "Sorry."
Yorick bent forward and looked up into his eyes. "Don't forget our respective places here. I'm your clown. Your plaything. Your toy. Scarcely human. No need to apologise. ~ A.J. Hartley

Papa wants you to marry some decrepit old wigsby?" She gave him a charmingly rueful smile, all tousled golden curls like some angel who had rolled off a cloud in her sleep, he thought, and had fallen to earth with a thud. "Something like that," she said in vague amusement. "I see. Well, surely we can find a solution." He snapped his fingers and gave her a grin. "Shall I ruin you? That should solve your problem. The old wigsby won't want you if you're used goods, and I assure you, I'd be happy to oblige. ~ Gaelen Foley

Good humor and laughter are far too wonderful not to come straight from the heart of God. ~ Beth Moore

Looking for a supernova, therefore, was a little like standing on the observation platform of the Empire State Building with a telescope and searching windows around Manhattan in the hope of finding, let us say, someone lighting a twenty-first birthday cake. ~ Bill Bryson

I thought you guys were doing some kind of secret role-playing shit. ~ M.D. Saperstein

Matt is a tortured soul,' Amanda insisted. 'He's Heathcliff and you're Cathy. He's Rochester and you're Jane Eyre. He's-'
'Darcy and I'm Elizabeth. I get it. And you're wrong. ~ Robin Brande

The big ballpark can do it all! ~ Jerry Coleman

Soccer forces life to move on. There's always a new match. A new season. There's always a dream that everything can get better. It's a game of wonders. ~ Fredrik Backman