Dave Quotes

I said yes to adventure, and then almost immediately I started trying to figure out how to get out of it. ~ Dave Holmes

I have always worked with energy. Everything is energy. Buddhism. Christ teachings. These are foundation stones for a spiritual life. ~ Dave Davies

I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about. ~ Dave Barry

Diagnosed incidentally with stage IV, grade 4 metastatic renal cell carcinoma, I had bone metastases in my femur (which eventually fractured), ulna, and cranium; five metastases in my lungs; and muscle metastases in my thigh and tongue. Yet six months after diagnosis, my treatment ended: I've not had a drop of anything since. ~ Dave DeBronkart

If this were some kind of entertainment, this would be roughly the point where Rupert said, "We don't have any more time, Professor, you must complete your research as soon as possible," but there was no great sense of urgency, no sense that it even mattered. It was just something that Rudi was interested in, for his own reasons. They could be working on this for years and still not understand it, and it wouldn't make a blind bit of difference.
He said, "Look, Professor, a lot of effort went into getting you that information. We'd be grateful if you could make some kind of sense of it reasonably soon.
"There is one thing I can tell you right now," Lev said..."Whoever is running this thing, they're really interested in railways. ~ Dave Hutchinson

People don't break up because someone's family is a little ... messy. If that were the case, no one would ever get married. ~ Laura Dave

The whole slacker generation totally didn't apply to us musically. ~ Dave Grohl

That's the vast majority of this social media, all these reviews, all these comments. Your tools have elevated gossip, hearsay and conjecture to the level of valid, mainstream communication. ~ Dave Eggers

Always keep a litter bag in your car." -- Steve Martin ~ Dave Conifer

ALL THAT HAPPENS MUST BE KNOWN. ~ Dave Eggers

In my experience, you always think you know what you're doing; you always think you can explain, but you always discover, years later, that you didn't and you couldn't. This leads me to suspect that the principal function of human reason is to rationalize what your lizard brain demands of you. That's my idea. ~ Dave Hickey

I wasn't a very academic kid, and music was the way for all that feeling and angst and sex and love and anger to be channelled. ~ Dave Davies

Yeah, I can read music and I know the names of chords. ~ Dave Navarro

Whether it means having a show, or a movie, or just being on a stage, I need an avenue to say what I have to say. ~ Dave Chappelle

Don't you rob yourself of what you're feeling; don't rob yourself of all that you could be. ~ Dave Matthews Band

Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spiderwebs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests. ~ Dave Barry

I think one artist to another artist, the best compliment you can pay one another, because the part of you that is inspired or creates something, to write a joke or a song, that's like the God-like part of a person. ~ Dave Chappelle

There are no strangers in Freemasonry, only friends you've yet to meet. ~ Dave Thomas

In the kitchen, I turn on a TV set that has hundreds of channels devoted to every conceivable subject including celebrity bunion removal (This week: David Hasselhoff). I tune in to one of the literally dozens of news shows, all of which feature a format of 55 percent celebrities promoting things, 30 percent emails from viewers, and 15 percent YouTube videos showing bears jumping on trampolines. While I'm catching up on these developments, I turn on the programmable coffeemaker, which I hope that someday, perhaps by attending community college, I will learn to program. ~ Dave Barry

Be strong, be brave, be true. Endure. ~ Dave Eggers

I think the lie we've told people in the marketplace is that a degree gets you a job. A degree doesn't get you a job. What gets you a job is the ability to carry yourself into that room and shake a hand and look someone in the eye and have people skills. These are the things that cause people to become successful. ~ Dave Ramsey

You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself, only to see the arrangements get all screwed up, when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you? ~ Dave Barry

Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world. He might be even funnier when he's naked, but I'm afraid to find out. ~ Dave Barry

I am who I am because of Dave Matthews Band ~ John Mayer

The Earth is an animal that shakes off its fleas when they dig too deep, bite too hard. It shifts and our cities fall; it sighs and the coasts are overtaken. ~ Dave Eggers

Alan was feeling strong. He did two push-ups and felt stronger still. ~ Dave Eggers

Change is painful. Few people have the courage to seek out change. Most people won't change until the pain of where they are exceeds the pain of change. ~ Dave Ramsey

This is why Max loved Mr. Beckmann: he was an equal. He seemed to have navigated his way through seven or so decades of adulthood without forgetting one moment of his childhood- what he loved and hated, feared and coveted. ~ Dave Eggers

Growing up is never idyllic, is it? Or it'd be called something else. ~ Laura Dave

I'm a cat person. I have two giant cats [Harry and Arturo] that I call the small panthers. They're like 17 pounds each-they're big boys! Every photo on my phone is of them doing something funny. ~ Dave Franco

I'm a huge science fan; I read a lot of science books. But I'm not a scientist, my interest in science is I love the facts, but I like to interpret those facts. They become the raw materials for stories and paintings and things. ~ Dave McKean

I don't mean to beat a made-in-America drum, but I would be lying if I said it doesn't feel somehow right to be printing books in the U.S. ~ Dave Eggers

Choosing beauty over content (or choosing beauty as content) is always an act of sedition. If we accept the cant of official culture, we must believe that the beauty we steal from any man-made thing is stolen from its more virtuous and metaphysical backstory, wherein "real" beauty is said to reside. ~ Dave Hickey

I think we should all talk to our enemies and talk to our friends. Talk! That's the only way we'll find solutions. ~ Dave Matthews

OneBeat is one of the greatest initiatives in advancing the meeting of cultures worldwide. ~ Dave Douglas

I have come to believe that contentment is a virtue we can aspire to rather than a state we can achieve. ~ Dave Bruno

She looked out at the other trees, and she realised that her life was one of thousands, any one of which could have been her, she had grown wherever her life had taken her, she had drifted wherever the wind had blown her. ~ Dave McKean

Penelope Spheeris is a wonderful lady. ~ Dave Mustaine

Another person who's smarter than I. What a relief to not have to be the smartest guy anymore. ~ Dave Winer

And I found out, the other part of it is that I found out and in my desire to life successfully, that baseball fit very well into my life. It's been a great teacher, trainer, mentor and you'll see what I mean in the next few minutes that I have to speak. ~ Dave Winfield

Dave put a lot of thought into picking out the books his dad would like least. ~ Theric Jepson

We both see strangers and react. We don't like to walk by people without nodding. We're broken when people are rude. Were broken when people can't meet us halfway. We can't accept the limits of normal human relations-chilly, clothed, circumscribed. Our hearts pull against their leashes. ~ Dave Eggers

The Republicans have a high Beady-Eyed Self-Righteous Scary Borderline Loon Quotient, as evidenced by Phyllis Schlafly, Pat Robertson, the entire state of Utah, etc. ~ Dave Barry

In our lifetime, wouldn't it be sad if we spent more time washing dishes or swatting flies or mowing the yard or watching television than praying for world missions? ~ Dave Davidson

Sitting still as stone watching - watching
People walking by you wondering why
No one ever stops to talk or thinks about it - if they ever did ~ Dave Matthews

I run the largest survey company in the world. It just so happens to be the second-largest company run by someone in my house. ~ Dave Goldberg

I've never been struck by lightning as far as I know, so the Higher Power is treating me as well as even those people who love him very much. ~ Dave Barry

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can using only their hands and feet make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. ~ Dave Barry

Every time you tell a lie an angel punches a unicorn in the face with a kitten. ~ Dave Turner

Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable. ~ Dave Barry

Classical music gradually lost popularity because it is too complicated: you need twenty-five or thirty skilled musicians just to hum it properly. So people began to develop regular music. ~ Dave Barry

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold? ~ Dave Barry

I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay. ~ Dave Matthews Band

This wasn't because he liked me, I was sure. It had more to do with him banking on what we of wedding age had all become witnesses to - how during these wedding weekends, single women, feeling a little lonely, maybe, or just feeling a little too far from being the bride, found themselves loosening their own rules, opting to be more flexible, more quickly. ~ Laura Dave

There is no faith like the faith of a builder of homes in coastal Louisiana ~ Dave Eggers

Workaholicism is such a tough addiction to get over. I had to divorce my wife because she was an enabler. ~ Dave Mordal

I got thrown out of Alcoholics because when the other clients saw me they thought they were having the DT's ~ Dave Dutton

The saddest part of the human race is we're obsessed with this idea of 'us and them,' which is really a no-win situation, whether it's racial, cultural, religious or political. ~ Dave Matthews

I've done a lot of talk shows where you can tell that the host is just thinking about what he wants to say next while you're answering him and that's really uncomfortable. ~ Dave Navarro

A vote for Eric Cantor is a vote for open borders. A vote for Eric Cantor is a vote for amnesty. ~ Dave Brat

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved. HELEN KELLER ~ Dave Ramsey

A short distance away is the Tidal Basin, ringed by cherry trees that every year produce flowers, an event to which Washingtonians react as though it were the Second Coming of Christ. ~ Dave Barry

-jeez, these guys, with their on-again, off-again rela­tionships, lutgen said;
-Yeah, Dave said: now you see them, now you see them once more;
-They're virtual insects!, Jurgen said;
-Virtually innumerable, said Dave;
-I wonder, though, if we haven't got it wrong, Jurgen said: I mean, I wonder if maybe these guys' natural condition isn't to be lit up-if their ground state isn't actually when they're glowing;
-Hm, said Dave: so what they're actually doing is turning off their lights­
-Right: momentarily going under;
-Flashing darkness­
-Projecting their inner voids­
-Their repeating, periodic depressions ...
-So then, I suppose, we should really call them douse bugs---;.
-Exactly...
-Or nature's faders---;.
-Flying extinguishers­
-Buzzing snuffers-!
-Or maybe­
-Or maybe, despite what it looks like, maybe they really are glowing constantly, Jurgen said: but, through some malign unknown mechanism, their everlasting light is peri­odically swallowed up by un-understood atmospheric forces;
-So then they're being occluded­
-Rudely occluded­
-Denied their God-given right to shine ...
-So that, I suppose, would make them-o horror-victims­
-Yeah: victims of predatory darkness­
-Of uncontrollable flares of night;
-So it isn't bioluminescence, but eco-eclipsis­
-Exactly: ambient effacement­
-Nature's station-identification­
-Ongoing lessons in humility ...
Evan Dara

People keep asking "Jacob or Edward?" when the really important question is "Diamond Dave or Sammy? ~ Ysabeau S. Wilce

To change the world, Start with one step. However small, the first step is hardest of all. ~ Dave Matthews

I was a big, big fan of Jimmy Burton. Anything with him on, I used to perk up and listen to it over and over and over again. ~ Dave Davies

A good storyteller never lets the facts get in the way. ~ Dave Allen

Eating in Germany is easy, because there is basically only one kind of food, called the wurst. ~ Dave Barry

I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me. ~ Dave Attell

That got her up on stage pretty quick, and she sang a song, which was in Spanish, so I don't know what it was about, except she seemed to be singing it mainly to Sharisse and it had a word that sounded like "poota" in it a lot. ~ Dave Barry

We do not see through our eyes alone. ~ Dave Ulrich

Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security. ~ Dave Barry

I think the world of Dave Griffin. I worked with him in Phoenix, got to know him very well, and consider him a friend. ~ Grant Hill

You get what everyone else gets.. you get a lifetime ~ Dave Henderson

Many people have trouble sticking to their resolutions, and there is a simple scientific explanation for this. In 1987, a team of psychologists conducted a study in which they monitored the New Year's resolutions of 275 people. After one week the psychologists found that 92 percent of the people were keeping their resolutions; after two weeks we have no idea what happened because the psychologists had quit monitoring. ~ Dave Barry

Don't retaliate.

When we've been wronged, we usually have an urge to punish the person who wronged us. We want them to feel the pain that they have caused us, but this kind of thinking hurts everyone involved and damages trust even more. It's been said, "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and then hoping the other person dies!" When you've been wronged in a relationship, give clear and specific guidelines for how trust can be restored, but don't punish the other person. ~ Dave Willis

I think that if you're passionate about something and you're driven and you're focused, then you can pretty much do anything that you want to do in life. ~ Dave Grohl

Comics are a particularly esoteric field where you really learn how to do it, by doing it or by learning from other practitioners. ~ Dave Gibbons

So we're tempted to despair - the despair of the not-as-great-as-we-want-to-be. Charles Spurgeon's epitaph on Alexander could easily describe one way we can go: See Alexander's tears! He weeps! Yes, he weeps for another world to conquer! Ambition is insatiable! The gain of the whole world is not enough. Surely to become a universal monarch, is to make one's self universally miserable.13 ~ Dave Harvey

I say my hell is the closet I'm stuck inside. ~ Dave Matthews

You don't have to think really hard to get the joke. I think humor in general appeals to all people. ~ Dave Barry

Now, I admire The Sims as a game, but from a story viewpoint, there are two glaring problems. First, your relationship with those characters is like they're bugs in a jar. There's no empathy. And secondly, you've got this clunky, chemistry-set interface between you and them, with bars to show how tired or angry they are. It's all tell not show. ~ Dave Morris

Yousef had been lighthearted during his questions, but there was something very serious and sad under his smile, and Alan knew what it was. It was the knowledge that there would be no fighting, and there would be no struggle, no stand taken, and that the two of them, because they were not lacking materially, because despite injustices in their countries they were the recipients of preposterous bounty, would likely do nothing. They were content, they had won. The fighting would be done by others, elsewhere. ~ Dave Eggers

Every single fact I state in 'Fahrenheit 9/11' is the absolute and irrefutable truth ... Do not let anyone say this or that isn't true. If they say that, they are lying. ~ Dave Kopel

I've done 10 or 11 pilots for network television, which is ridiculous. ~ Dave Chappelle

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, "I've decided I want to be cremated." I said, "Alright, get your coat." ~ Dave Spikey

I will never be unemployed. ~ Dave Ramsey

And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West. ~ Dave Barry

Tom Cruise only makes one or two film appearances a year. A baseball player can be the hero or the goat one-hundred and sixty-two times a year. ~ Dave Winfield

It's been going on for days now! On and on and on for days! If I hear one more sexual-chemistry-charged and mutually misunderstood argument I'm going to shoot the pair of you! ~ Dave Stone

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire. ~ Dave Barry

I believe Nebraskans appreciate the fiscal discipline I've brought to state government, balancing the budget without raising taxes and prioritizing education funding. ~ Dave Heineman

I've always been a fan of melody and emotional melancholy, whether it was Rites of Spring or Tears for Fears or Neil Young. If I hear a song that has a sweet melody, I'm a sucker for it, whether it's Linkin Park or Little Richard. ~ Dave Grohl

Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot. ~ Dave Marr

A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences. ~ Dave Meurer

Horkman made a sound like a bullfrog trying to give a blow job to a buffalo. ~ Dave Barry

I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that. ~ Dave Chappelle

I was trying to make the web more civil. I was trying to make it more elegant. I got rid of anonymity. I combined a thousand disparate elements into one unified system. But I didn't picture a world where Circle membership was mandatory, where all government and all life was channeled through one network. ~ Dave Eggers

I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else. ~ Dave Barry

People who insist on being addressed as "doctor" because they have Ph.D.'s, as if these degrees represent an important achievement, rather than a reluctance to leave college; ~ Dave Barry