Mr Gum Quotes

[from The One and Only Official Mr. Gum Official Glossary That Tells You What Words Mean by Explaining Them Using Other Words] :
Cups of tea: People in England are always drinking cups of tea. "Oh let's have a cup of tea " they say. "That will prove we are English and not American." Sometimes American people try to have cups of tea to pretend they are English but forget it We can always tell you are faking it ~ Andy Stanton

Well thank you, me old gobbler,' said Mr. Gum handing over some money that Billy William would later discover to be made out of lies and broken promises. ~ Andy Stanton

It turns out that Molly wasn't her mother's daughter in that respect. Charity was like the MacGuyver of the kitchen. She could whip up a five-course meal for twelve from an egg, two spaghetti noodles, some household chemicals, and a stick of chewing gum. Molly ...
Molly once burned my egg. My boiled egg. I don't know how. ~ Jim Butcher

Whatever you say, old boy. Just look after yourself. And whatever you do, don't swallow the gum! ~ Anthony Horowitz

It's not yummy gum if there's no bubble. Just ask the Federal Reserve. ~ Jarod Kintz

Sorry. Was it awful?"
"Being a rat? No. First it was disorienting. I was suddenly at ankle-level with everyone. I thought I'd drunk a shrinking potion, but I couldn't figure out why I had this urge to chew used gum wrappers. ~ Cassandra Clare

I don't think you should be an Auror, Harry," said Luna unexpectedly. Everybody looked at her. "The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They're working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a mixture of dark magic and gum disease. ~ J.K. Rowling

I'm here to chew gum and kick some ass, and I'm all out of gum. ~ Stephen Hawking

I remembered my conversation with Myles Dunphy when I agreed to join him in the fight to save the blue gum forest. 'Opportunities are made, Mrs Rockcliffe,' he had said. 'They don't happen of themselves. I don't want to read about the achievements of people with verve. I want to be one of those people myself. It's not enough to be intelligent and thoughtful. You have to be bold. ~ Belinda Alexandra

I also figured out that what we call our destiny is usually determined by two or three casual decisions which on the surface seem about as important as spitting your gum through a sewer grate.
(The Night Johnny Ace Died) ~ James Lee Burke

Some people have a hard time walking and chewing gum at the same time. Not me I cant ever get the gum out of the wrapper! ~ Bill Myers

When they happen across an Adventurer from Mexico, and the ancient City he has discover'd beneath the Earth, where thousands of Mummies occupy the Streets in attitudes of Living Business, embalm'd with Gold divided so finely it flows like Gum. ~ Thomas Pynchon

It's great that a song now costs exactly the same as a pack of gum and lasts exactly the same amount of time before it loses its flavour and you have to spend another buck. ~ Jonathan Franzen

It never occurred to me before, but there could have easily been a world with no buses, no horns honking, no red lights, no shopping carts, no gum stick to the bottom of benches downtown. For that matter I guess there also could have been no sun, no trees, and no ocean. None of those things had to exist, I guess. It makes me feel lucky that they do. ~ Jodi Lynn Anderson

Bubble gum and salt what a screwed up combination. ~ Emily Snow

The pale fabric of reality has so many hidden pockets that we can find some change in here somewhere - you just have to dig a little deeper to avoid the chewing gum and past mistakes. ~ Corey Taylor

Animal minds are simple, and therefore sharp. Animals never spend time dividing experience into little bits and speculating about all the bits they've missed. The whole panoply of the universe has been neatly expressed to them as things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. This frees the mind from unnecessary thoughts and gives it a cutting edge where it matters. Your normal animal, in fact, never tries to walk and chew gum at the same time.

The average human, on the other hand, thinks about all sorts of things around the clock, on all sorts of levels, with interruptions from dozens of biological calendars and timepieces. There's thoughts about to be said, and private thoughts, and real thoughts, and thoughts about thoughts, and a whole gamut of subconscious thoughts. To a telepath the human head is a din. It is a railway terminus with all the Tannoys talking at once. It is a complete FM waveband- and some of those stations aren't reputable, they're outlawed pirates on forbidden seas who play late-night records with limbic lyrics. ~ Terry Pratchett

He opened the back. "Well, at leas let me carry them to the door." "Okay." I walked with him to the doorway and took the bags from him, and then I reached in and took out the gum. I didn't know what to say, so I handed it to him and his face lit up. A smile I remembered from the photos of him as a little boy appeared on his face. It wasn't a smile the world ever caught a glimpse of in magazines. "I take it I was good. ~ Abbi Glines

The faint aroma of gum and calico that hangs about a library is as the fragrance of incense to me. I think the most beautiful sight is the gilt-edged backs of a row of books on a shelf. The alley between two well-stocked shelves in a hall fills me with the same delight as passing through a silent avenue of trees. The colour of a binding-cloth and its smooth texture gives me the same pleasure as touching a flower on its stalk. A good library hall has an atmosphere which elates. I have seen one or two University Libraries that have the same atmosphere as a chapel, with large windows, great trees outside, and glass doors sliding on noiseless hinges. ~ R.K. Narayan

Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedposts overnight. If your mother said don't chew it, do you swallow it in spite? ~ Lonnie Donegan

I know that I've lost something now because this keeps happening, and I feel as if this is all I ever come to, to this place, this knife, this feeling, almost killing, and I wonder that I'm not drunk because I feel fucked up and cold and hot, and this man, the drunk man, he's backing away from me toward a parked car and he trips over the parking meter and stumbles and takes a few steps and there's a wall he can follow along and he's scuttling back into the doorway of the bar and his off-white shirt gets hazy like cottonwood down floating off the river back home but it's hot in the spring there, back home, when the cottonwoods are dropping, and nothing about this night is even warm at all except my fist around the handle of the knife that's still cold, and there's the smell of the river water, the water in the air, and water everywhere, over my eyes and the city and the night, and I wonder why the water's not frozen because it's cold, cold every night here, so fucking cold, and no amount of weed will warm me up because I'm a long way from home and my bed and my room and my house and my family and anything and everything and everyone that I have ever loved, and I can sleep on a dirty floor with gum and spiders and garbage and wrappers and ants and dust and spit and cum, and I can sleep here and wake up, and I can sleep here and wake up again, but no amount of sleeping and waking will ever make it right. ~ Peter Brown Hoffmeister

The way things are going the faces on next year's bubble-gum cards will be lawyers. ~ Reggie Jackson

And then he's grabbing my hand, and pulling me into a storage room they use for art supplies. And he puts his finger to his lips, and the walls are filled with pads of paper and boxes of colored pencils and jars of paint,
and I'm laughing
and he shuts the door behind us
and leans up against it to stop anyone coming in
and like he's trying to get up his nerve now that he's started something,
before we've ever gone to the dumplings and the movies -
he leans in and kisses me.
His lips are cold. The kiss is soft. He has gum in his mouth, and he stops, and giggles nervously, and takes it out and throws it in the trash can,
and looks like he feels embarrassed to have kissed me with the gum,
but I don't care,
and so now I kiss him,
and he's tall enough that he has to bend down to get to me,
and I put my hand on his neck, which is smooth and warm,
and we kiss for a minute in the storage room,and I want to run my hands up his shirt suddenly -
but I don't.
He pulls away for a second and touches my cheek.
"I thought you'd never ask," he whispers.
"I thought I never would either," I say, "but I did."
"Good job," he says, and kisses me again. ~ E. Lockhart

But my agent has a theory. She says every marriage is jerry-rigged. Even the ones that look reasonable from the outside are held together inside with chewing gum and wire and string. ~ Jenny Offill

Dick loves to steal. It's an emotional thing with him - a sickness. I'm a thief too, but only if I don't have the money to pay. Dick, if he was carrying a hundred dollars in his pocket, he'd steal a stick of chewing gum. ~ Truman Capote

Last Halloween I ran out of candy and I had to give the kids nicotine gum. ~ David Letterman

You had two prerequisites." Regin plopped down on a snowbank. "And I do believe I have Russian ex-mil contacts, and I speak the language-"
"Oh, come on! I've since learned that you do not by any stretch. You think Dostoyevsky is Russian for 'How 's it hanging?'"
She blinked up at Kaderin as she paced by. "Then how do you say it?"
"I-don't-know."
"Then how do you know it's not Dostoyevsky? No. Really." She blew a bubble with her gum – possibly the first to do so at this location – but it flash-froze, and she had to crunch it back to gum consistency with her molars. "Obi-Wan, I was your only hope."
(Kaderin and Regin) ~ Kresley Cole

O land and soil, red soil and sweet-gum tree,
So scant of grass, so profligate of pines ~ Jean Toomer

When I first met Billy I thought about sucking his eyes right out of their sockets. They're like turquoise gum drops. ~ Jo Treggiari

Living on pills, phone calls unmade, people unseen, pages unwritten, money unmade, pressure piling up all around to make some kind of breakthrough and get moving again. Get the gum off the rails, finish something, croak this awful habit of not ever getting to the end- of anything. ~ Hunter S. Thompson

My "do" now consisted of some really nifty spikes on top. I looked like a punker, but it was kind of fun, if you want to know the truth. Next thing I knew I'd be getting my ears pierced and chewing gum in public, social sins my auntie had always warned me about, along with red nail polish and dingy bra straps. ~ Sue Grafton

What I remember most about junior homecoming was my date getting sick afterwards. That kinda sucked. Then, senior year, someone got gum in her hair when we were dancing. She had to get one of the chaperones to take her to the office and cut up her hair. I felt really bad for her, but it worked out fine. ~ James Lafferty

If at the cross every sin was covered, Satan's mouth is shut. He has no weapon. He can gum you but his fangs are gone. ~ John Piper

Slanders, sir, for the satirical rogue says here that old men have grey beards, that their faces are wrinkled, their eyes purging think amber and plum-tree gum, and that they have a plentiful lack of wit, together with most weak hams. ~ William Shakespeare

I remember times when I was at shows and the person onstage locked eyes with me. And in that moment, everything was right with the world. I think that's part of my job, to create these thousands of moments every night. And for the rest of their life, they can say, 'You guys looked at me,' or 'You sweated on me,' or 'I got your gum.' ~ Joan Jett

And if we're talking about hard-boiled detectives, too, what could be more hardboiled than the worldview of Ligotti or Cioran? They make the grittiest of crime writers seem like dilettantes. Next to The Conspiracy Against the Human Race, Mickey Spillane seems about as hard-boiled as bubble gum. ~ Nic Pizzolatto

I think worrying is a lot like chewing gum. Eventually it runs out of taste, and you've got to spit it out. ~ Karen White

I forgive," Penny said. "But I don't forget. I'll remember the kind of gum you were chewing when you did me wrong. ~ M.J. Mandrake

But at eight, I only knew one thing. Mother said God put each of us on this earth for a purpose, and that day I decided mine was to save Nick Anderson
-The Sweet Gum Tree ~ Katherine Allred

The three of them walked through the woods in silence. Sistine and Rob chewed Eight Ball gum, ~ Kate DiCamillo

Something was in her mouth. Sami's tongue slid along the edges of something plastic. Flat, low ridges, holes-an adjustable strap. A baseball cap?

Another taste. Hair spray. Gross.

Someone had stuffed her baseball cap in her mouth, and from the feel of it they had taped it in place. Her arms were tied behind her and she lay face down on the floor-of what? Her car. The carpeting scraped her cheek every time they hit a bump.

Panic flooded Sami's senses. She came instantly awake. Inhaling deeply through her nose, she willed herself to calm down. Her working motto flashed through her brain, panic never accomplished anything. Of course she had never been kidnapped and tied up before.

In the dim light of passing cars, she glimpsed things-paper gum wrappers, an old straw, one whopper wrapper, a CD cover.

That's where Sting went. Been looking for that for days. Man did she need to vacuum this car out.

A metallic scent hit her nose. She'd recognize that smell until the day she died. Blood. And by the odor, someone had lost a great deal of it. ~ Suzanne Ferrell

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it. ~ Hank Ketcham

My sister, with her ratty red-highlighted hair and her linen pajamas and her combat boots - how could she possibly worry about being possessed by a goddess? What goddess would want her, except the goddess of chewing gum? ~ Rick Riordan

Sometimes I can better describe a person by another person's reaction. In a story in my first book, I couldn't think of a way to sufficiently describe the charisma of a certain boy, so the narrator says, "I knew girls who saved his gum." ~ Amy Hempel