Hellevator The Undertaker Quotes

Why put off kicking somebody's *ss next week when I can do it right now. ~ The Undertaker

The talent of a meat packer, the morals of a money changer, and the manners of an undertaker. ~ William Allen White

I might get scared of a really big dog, but I don't scare easy. As a youngster I used to watch all the scary stuff by myself, so nothing really gets to me now. There's actually a new series on TV called Hellevator and I filled out an application to be on the show because I love that type of stuff. ~ Andre Dirrell

Probably the undertaker thinks less of death than almost any other man. He is so accustomed to it that his mind must involuntarily turn from its horror to a contemplation of how much he makes out of the burial. ~ Clarence Darrow

In all my years here, I don't think I've ever seen quite so many assholes gathered in one place! ~ The Undertaker

My Client Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertakers Undefeated Streak at Wrestlemania ~ Paul Heyman

If the eyes are the windows to the soul, the voice is its song. You can tell a great deal about a man by listening to him. ~ Kristen Callihan

She had felt this intense disembodiment for the last four days, really from the moment the Snake Man had told them to turn around. And then the police, the undertaker, asking if she wanted to see the body one last time and Claire blanching at the word body and sobbing like a child because she had spent every single second since they had taken Paul from her arms trying to remove the image of her lifeless, murdered husband from her mind. ~ Karin Slaughter

He [dad] always had some kind of trouble with his leg. He'd have bandages wrapped around it all the time but he'd never go and see a doctor. He'd rather have dropped dead than go to a doctor. He was terrified of them, like a lot of people his age were. And he'd never take a day off work. If he ever stayed at home feeling ill, it was time to call the undertaker. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Man, I have absolutely zero ability into narrowing absolutely any of my favorites into just one, but I have to say, I gotta go between Undertaker and Triple H. Other than all the obvious reasons, but the biggest one for me, those are the only two guys, I could make a mistake and it would be okay. I could put the trust of the match, the story, and absolutely everything into their hands and let go of my control. I'm a control freak (laughs). Those are the only two guys I can let drive and take my hands off the steering wheel. ~ Shawn Michaels

In my very first Wrestlemania match, I won. 17 wins from tying the Undertaker. Don't laugh. ~ The Miz

She was daft. That's what she was. Completely mental. There was no other explanation for why she was lurking in the back of Butler's Undertaker Lounge and Pub while her siblings were about to go in the front so they could distract him. ~ Carlene O'Connor

Lady," The Misfit said, looking beyond her far into the woods, "there never was a body that give the undertaker a tip. ~ Flannery O'Connor

You better give your soul to the Lord, because the rest of your scrawny ass, will belong to me! ~ The Undertaker

Funeralese has had its ups and downs. The word 'morticians,' first used in Embalmers Monthly for February, 1895, was barred by the Chicago Tribune in 1932, 'not for lack of sympathy with the ambition of undertakers to be well regarded, but because of it. If they haven't the sense to save themselves from their own lexicographers, we shall not be guilty of abetting them in their folly. ~ Jessica Mitford

In the busy city, dying might be resented as a breach of good taste, and the body hastily dispatched to the undertaker and the crematorium; but in Lost Haven, where a man's mates had to turn out and dig his grave, it was an occasion shared by the whole community. ~ Kylie Tennant

As Oliver accompanied his master in most of his adult expeditions too, in order that he might acquire that equanimity of demeanour and full command of nerve which was essential to a finished undertaker, he had many opportunities of observing the beautiful resignation and fortitude with which some strong-minded people bear their trials and losses. ~ Charles Dickens

Tonight, there will be a sacrafice! ~ The Undertaker

She who pays the undertaker calls the tune. ~ Margaret Atwood

You would do the same thing if a dead body turned up in your home."
Siobhán stopped when she remembered who she was talking to. "I mean, if you weren't an undertaker like. ~ Carlene O'Connor

It is great fun dying in the United States of America. It is great fun first of all for the undertakers who make a wonderful living out of it but also for the deceased who suddenly becomes the centre of attention and fuss. ~ George Mikes

The fear of death is far greater than the death itself. But the fear of the unknown is the greatest fear of all! ~ The Undertaker

I will claim the soul of The Undertaker ~ Bray Wyatt

He undertook to overtake
The road was on a bend
From now on the Undertaker
Is his only friend ~ Neil Gaiman

They have passed the big inheritance tax, and that gets you when you are gone. You used to could die and be able to beat taxes, but not now. The undertaker don't go over your body as carefully as the assessor does your accumilated assets, and he gets his before the undertaker. They have it on these big fortunes now where they pay as high as 60 to 70 percent of what they leave. That's mighty expensive dying when it runs into money like that, and you won't see 'em dropping off as casually as they have been. ~ Will Rogers

... the sea defrauds many an honest undertaker of his profits. ~ Frederick Marryat

With the energy he had conserved yesterday letting her dress him, he had written a note and pinned it in his pocket. IF FOUND DEAD SHIP EXPRESS COLLECT TO COLEMAN PARRUM, CORINTH, GEORGIA. Under this he had continued: COLEMAN SELL MY BELONGINGS AND PAY THE FREIGHT ON ME & THE UNDERTAKER. ANYTHING LEFT OVER YOU CAN KEEP. YOURS TRULY T. C. TANNER. P.S. STAY WHERE YOU ARE. DON'T LET THEM TALK YOU INTO COMING UP HERE. ITS NO KIND OF PLACE. ~ Flannery O'Connor

Every night in the year, four of us sat in the small parlour of the George at Debenham - the undertaker, and the landlord, and Fettes, and myself. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

A model of probity, a steady hand to reassure the grieving, a sober man - a grave man - solid as the pillar of a tomb. A good dose of gangster to the hat to let you know the councilman played his politics old-school, with a shovel in the dark of the moon. Plus that touch of Tombstone, of Gothic western undertaker, like maybe sometimes when the moon was full and Flowers & Sons stood empty and dark but for the vigil lights, Chan Flowers might up and straddle a coffin, ride it like a bronco. ~ Michael Chabon

Undertaker, your yard is right in the middle of my world! ~ Triple H

I don't think The Undertaker and Triple H need Shawn Michaels to deliver a spectacular match or make this incredibly interesting. Those two can do that on their own. Right now, as far as I'm concerned, I'm going to be there watching it like everyone else. ~ Shawn Michaels

Do not despair - many are happy much of the time; more eat than starve, more are healthy than sick, more curable than dying; not so many dying as dead; and one of the thieves was saved. Hell's bells and all's well - half the world is at peace with itself, and so is the other half; vast areas are unpolluted; millions of children grow up without suffering deprivation, and millions, while deprived, grow up without suffering cruelties, and millions, while deprived and cruelly treated, none the less grow up. No laughter is sad and many tears are joyful. At the graveside the undertaker doffs his top hat and impregnates the prettiest mourner. Wham, bam, thank you Sam. ~ Tom Stoppard

UNDERTAKER!" the head boomed. "BOY, DO I HAVE A JOB FOR YOU! ~ Tom Upton

My father was the funniest man I ever met. He made Redd Foxx look like an undertaker. ~ Henry Louis Gates

There were two things Southerners hated to see knocking on their door. Jehovah Witnesses, because the majority of us were Baptist, and the undertaker. It was understandable that when Terk Rhinehammer opened the door, his face turned white as all the blood was drained from it after he looked past me and saw my hearse.
"What's wrong?" He used his hands to pat down his chest. "I'm not dead, am I? ~ Tonya Kappes

Life isn't that sweet. That's why everyone wants sweet things. ~ The Undertaker

My father was in the kitchen putting a new washer in the kitchen faucet. He looked relieved to see Morelli standing in the hallway. He'd probably prefer I bring home someone useful, like a butcher or a car mechanic, but I guess cops are a step up from undertakers. ~ Janet Evanovich

Nearly everyone has had a box of secret pain, shared with no one. Will [Hamilton] had concealed his well, laughed loud, exploited perverse virtues, and never let his jealousy go wandering [ ... ] He was always on the edge, trying to hold on to the rim of the family with what gifts he had - care, and reason, application. He kept the books, hired the attorneys, called the undertaker, and eventually paid the bills. The others didn't even know they needed him. ~ John Steinbeck

Nearly everyone has his box of secret pain, shared with no one. Will had concealed his well, laughed loud, exploited perverse virtues, and never let his jealousy go wandering. He thought of himself as slow, doltish, conservative, uninspired. No great dream lifted him high and no despair forced self destruction. He was always on the edge, trying to hold on to the rim of the family with what gifts he had - care, and reason, application. He kept the books, hired the attorneys, called the
undertaker, and eventually paid the bills. The others didn't even know they needed him. He had the
ability to get money and to keep it. He thought the Hamiltons despised him for his one ability. He had
loved them doggedly, had always been at hand with his money to pull them out of their errors. He thought they were ashamed of him, and he fought bitterly for their recognition. All of this was in the frozen wind that blew through him. ~ John Steinbeck

One mistake up here and it's half a day out with the undertaker! ~ Fred Dibnah

I don't want to go into a fridge at an undertaker's. I want you to keep me at home until the funeral. Please can someone sit with me in case I get lonely? I promise not to scare you. ~ Jenny Downham

Marley was dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it. And Scrooge's name was good upon 'Change for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail. ~ Charles Dickens

We must learn that any person who will not accept what he knows to be truth for the very love of truth alone is very definitely undermining his mental integrity ... you have not been a close observer of such men if you have not seen them shrivel, become commonplace, mean without influence, without friends, and without the enthusiasm of youth and growth, like a tree covered with fungus, the foliage deceased, the life gone out of the heart with dry rot and indelibly marked for destruction
dead, but not yet handed over to the undertaker. ~ Luther Burbank