Southern Cozy Mystery Quotes

There were two things Southerners hated to see knocking on their door. Jehovah Witnesses, because the majority of us were Baptist, and the undertaker. It was understandable that when Terk Rhinehammer opened the door, his face turned white as all the blood was drained from it after he looked past me and saw my hearse.
"What's wrong?" He used his hands to pat down his chest. "I'm not dead, am I? ~ Tonya Kappes

How do you know about Leotta?"
It wasn't like I could tell him that Cephus Hardy was dead and right there about to give him the smackdown, nor could I tell him that I had seen his old Buick parked in front of Higher Ground when I acted like I had no idea he had a car and offered him a ride.
"Isn't she still married to Cephus Hardy?" My eyes zeroed in on his facial expression.
Cephus jumped around me and grabbed Terk by the neck. "Yeah, you sonofabitch!"
"Stop!" I yelled, but it was too late. ~ Tonya Kappes

I won't tell if you don't." I winked.
Granny laughed.
In the South, a wink speaks louder than words. ~ Tonya Kappes

Vidalia, open those eyes and look at me. As with all things, we do this together, Darlin'. ~ Julia Mills

Teddy did a muscle pose with his arms before he did the whole bouncing pectoral move with his boobs. "I'm a wrestling champ. International."
It was hard for me not to stare at each boob taking its turn bouncing up and down.
"Oh." My brows lifted along with my mouth. "Impressive. ~ Tonya Kappes

Jephus Hardy?"
Stunned. My jaw dropped when I saw Cephus Hardy walk up to me in the magazine aisle of Artie's Meat and Deli. I was admiring the cover of Cock and Feathers, where my last client at Eternal Slumber Funeral Home, Chicken Teater, graced the cover with his prize Orloff Hen, Lady Cluckington. ~ Tonya Kappes

It was Chase who had obtained the information from the girl's boyfriend during a party in an Irish pub, simply by using his British friendliness and charm. ~ Stefania Mattana

The good characters in my book are loosely based on folks I know. All the bad stuff is made up. ~ Mike Bove

Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look? ~ Nancy Lynn Jarvis

If Nonna sensed weakness, she'd zero in for the kill ~ Rosie Genova

Quote taken from Chapter 1:
"The police should be in it, not us. We're out of here." Bill did an about-face to retrace their route to the door.
Piper whipped out a hand and snagged him by the shirttail. Her tone returned to crisp and decisive. "Slow down, Roadrunner. I'm not ready to leave. We've got work to do."
Incredulous, he stared gape-mouthed at her. "You better explain," he said.
She wiggled her nose. "I'm growing nosier by the second about the circumstances surrounding Anna's murder. ~ Ed Lynskey

From Pearls and Poison ...
"In two minutes the cops are going to come barreling though that door," I whispered to Auntie KiKi hoping to get her mind off the body in the back room. "Any suggestions how we tell these workers out here their candidate just croaked?"
"Yell The jackass bit the big one, hip-hip hooray Gloria wins, then run like the dickens before someone recognizes us. ~ Duffy Brown

When looking for someone to marry, make sure they love you more than themselves, and God more than you. ~ Wendy Heuvel

Rick had said the perfect honeymoon was being together. ~ Linda Weaver Clarke

Mr Benz, the parapet of an Italian bridge doesn't look like the proper place for you, said Chase. ~ Stefania Mattana

One cannot think well, love well, or sleep well, if one has not dined well. ~ Linda Weaver Clarke

Amelia was instantly distracted when she heard one of her favorite songs: What a Wonderful World made famous by Louis Armstrong. The woman singing did the song justice as she sang:
I see trees of gree, red roses, too.
I see them bloom, for me and you.
And I think to myself.
What a wonderful world!
Before she could blink an eye, Rick pulled her into his arms in a waltz position.
He gave her a wink and said flirtatiously, "May I have this dance, my love?"
As they danced to the rhythm of the music, Amelia said, "Don't ever stop flirting with me, no matter how old we get."
"Never! ~ Linda Weaver Clarke

The historian in me love to uncover things, and the mother in me hates to be lied to...[Why Dotsy investigates murder] ~ Maria Hudgins

the gorgeous blonde with long legs and a body like a Playboy pin-up" Carla Ferrari, P.I. ~ Cynthia Westland

She picked up the phone and dialed her partner. Several seconds later, she heard a deep husky voice at the other end. It was a recording.
"Rick Bonito here! Private investigator for the Moore Detective Agency! Leave a message, please."
"Hey, Rick!" said Amelia. "I've got an assignment for you that needs your expertise. Breaking and entering! Give me a call."
Amelia smiled after hanging up the phone. With that kind of message, she should be getting a return call soon. ~ Linda Weaver Clarke

Hope turned sly. "What if the slice of apple pie is served a la mode?"

Smiling, Peggy Sue regarded her tall, brunette, and blue-eyed friend. "Is the slice of apple pie served a la mode with three scoops of homemade vanilla ice cream piled on top of it? ~ Lyn Key

And you were always nothing but slime, Henry Wallace. Fancy trash ~ Gwenn Wright

She was halfway through the revolving door when the thought hit her; she was the one who had seen Junior and Luther fighting before the banquet. She was the one had told Detective Sullivan. Overcome with guilt, she grabbed Ted's arm and faced him.
"It's because of me," she said. "Junior was arrested because of me! ~ Leslie Meier

She gripped the wheel and squared her shoulders. She didn't have to do any of this alone. All she had to do was notify the society and put out an All Points Bulletin on Adam and she'd know everything there was to know about the man within 24 hours. ~ Kirsten Fullmer

Maybe we should stay another night," said Amelia...
Rick nodded. "You're right. Sounds good to me." He then winked at her and said with a teasing glint in his eyes, "We can both sleep in this bed to save money." He then patted the space beside him.
Amelia laughed and shook her head. "In your dreams!"
Rick chuckled. "Yeah. In my dreams is right. ~ Linda Weaver Clarke

The wheel turns for all, caro Chase. It's the karma effect, Giulia cried, aping Ilenia. She could have never imagined that her words would become prophetic so soon. ~ Stefania Mattana

After a long while, Rick cleared his throat and pulled over to the side of the road. He then turned to her and said, "Amelia sweetie, a lot of problems are caused because of a lack of communication. When you try to guess what the other is thinking, then that's when you get into trouble. If we communicate, find time for one another, don't take each other for granted, and even share responsibilities, it will bring us closer."
"Share responsibilities?"
He nodded. "Sure. A man who thinks he's too good to share with the chores needs to reevaluate his relationship with his wife. ~ Linda Weaver Clarke

I'd learned how to handle a gun before I was fully potty trained. ~ Diane Kelly

Dude, we both know it's only going to get worse. You're like a ticking sex bomb. ~ Stacey O'Neale

...Niall carrying it around for motivation; a little hope that he would get his brother out of jail and they'd take off for down under.
Instead, he was really down under. ~ Carlene O'Connor

She craved a tall glass of the fresh-squeezed lemonade from the pitcher she'd left chilling in the fridge. Two glasses served with a generous slice of pound cake with orange glaze icing sounded twice as nice. ~ Ed Lynskey

When he would steal a kiss from her, it always took her breath away. No one kissed like Rick. No other man was able to make her lose all conception of time when he kissed her.

That was not all. Rick was fun to work with and made her laugh. As a partner, he had talents that she desperately needed in her business. He was a cunning and crafty man, and his talents helped in solving many cases. ~ Linda Weaver Clarke

I pointed, still unable to utter a word. Tim looked down at the spectacle behind the shed, his face swiftly draining of color. He gripped my arm with a clammy hand. And then he did something I'd been waiting half my life to see: he dropped into a dead swoon at my feet. ~ Rosie Genova

Dream big and expect to achieve ~ Karen C. Whalen

Michael held out his hand, and Kaden squeezed tighter than a typical handshake. The other man wiggled his hand free and then shot him an irritated glare.
So, this was the human trying to steal his Annabelle? He didn't look like much - a bit too skinny. She needed a man who could put his arms around her and make her feel safe.
Annabelle's my friend. I have no right to think of her as mine.
His heart pulsed a second time, and he startled. This wasn't happening. Annabelle couldn't be his? A human mate? He didn't understand. Two heartbeats. It had to mean something. ~ Stacey O'Neale

Money isn't the only measure of making a house a home. ~ M. Judeth Nelson

Except for the shapes of the windows, backlit by the streetlights that dotted the perimeter of the Moosetookalook town square, Liss could see very little in the darkness of the room she shared with her husband. The two front windows were raised as far as they would go, since Liss had been taught at an early age that fresh air was one of nature's best sleep aids. She had never had any reason to doubt that small bit of folk wisdom. ~ Kaitlyn Dunnett

Quote taken from Chapter 1
Bill hung up, grumbling to nobody in particular. Emily was about the only caller using the landline phone, and he regretted not getting rid of it. The Robinses were probably the lone holdouts on their city block to still have one. ~ Ed Lynskey

Quote taken from Chapter 1:
"Is Petey Samson a bloodhound for real?" Blue asked. "I could've sworn he's a mixed breed, what my folks used to call a pound mutt."
"Oh, brother," Alma said. "I wished you hadn't said that."
"I'll have you know Petey Samson is no pound mutt," Isabel said, shaking her finger at Blue. "His best breeding lies in his bloodhound line," she said.
"I didn't know that," Blue said.
"Pay no mind to Isabel," Alma said. "She's just being overprotective of her fur baby. ~ Ed Lynskey

I just want to understand why you haven't fallen in love."
Amelia was pensive for a moment and then said "When I fall in love, I want to feel as if I'm floating on clouds. As if there is not a care in the world. I want to be deliriously happy and tell everyone about it just like in South Pacific."
"South Pacific?" he asked with an uplifted brow.
She nodded as she softly sang,
"'If you'll excuse an expression I use,
I'm in love, I'm in love,
I'm in love, I'm in love,
I'm in love with a wonderful guy! ~ Linda Weaver Clarke

Mildred adjusted the papers and scribbled some more. When she was finished, she took off her glasses, leaving them to swing from the chain around her neck. She gave the women around the table a pointed look. "Now think hard, ladies, can you come up with anything else? ~ Kirsten Fullmer

So you say. I just hope you don't catch some exotic dinosaur ailment because Eustis probably doesn't stock the right pills to treat it. ~ Ed Lynskey

Louisiana has a larger alligator population than any other state. Just over a million."
"Over a million!" exclaimed Amelia with astonishment. ~ Linda Weaver Clarke

A girl had to do what a girl had to do and it looked as if this girl's immediate future included chicken Caesar salad, chocolate cake, and Cary Grant. ~ Leslie Meier

Style, you either have it or you don't, and if you have it, you have it all the time. ~ David Biagini