Constipated Quotes

Our minds are a lot like our rear-ends. Sometimes they are constipated, other times stricken with mental diarrhea, and occasionally a little bubbly. However, none of these and all of these conditions define our rear-ends or our personalities. Could contentment come from accepting all of our rocks, rumbles and runs? ~ Maximus Freeman

There is a novella inside every anus; there is a broken heart inside every mind; there is a bisected hug inside every arm; there is a pun inside every belly. "The Great American Novel," thinks the typographer, who at this point is severely constipated. He tries to squeeze out an 'o' but can't. "The Great American Navel," he says, then waits for a laugh. ~ Jimmy Chen

If you did not have any personality, you would have a tremendous presence. The more rigid your personality, the more constipated your whole being. ~ Jaggi Vasudev

I'm not stuck up. I'm constipated. ~ Jarod Kintz

Child, if such folks awe you, then picture them on the lavatory, straining, constipated. They will at once seem small, pathetic, manageable." And she whispered to me a great, universal truth: "THE BOWELS ARE GREAT LEVELLERS. ~ Angela Carter

The waste of words
continues with a stunning persistence
for all who laugh at us-
no matter, no matter
as long as your shoes are tied and
nobody is walking too close behind.
those constipated minds that seek
larger meaning will be dispatched
with the other garbage.
back off.
if there is light
it will find
you ... ~ Charles Bukowski

For male readers: imagine being nine months constipated having inadvertently swallowed a coconut whole, and then being asked to lie on an operating table, legs apart, with lots of people watching dressed in silly clothes. Would you be able to shit? ~ Graham Chapman

He comes into my city, he throws away my people, he orders me around like I'm his servant and now this? How dare he!"
I sighed. "How dare he!" came out. Could "Does he know who I am?" be far behind?
"I'm not some illiterate he can push around. I won't be treated this way. I worked too damn hard, for years. Years! Years of study and that fucking Neanderthal comes in and waves his arms." Ghastek skewed his face into a grimace. He was probably aiming to impersonate Hugh, but he mostly succeeded in looking extremely constipated. "Ooo, I'm Hugh d'Ambray, I'm starting a war!"
Laughing right now was a really bad idea. I had to conserve the energy.
"A war I've been trying years to avoid. Years!"
He kept saying that.
"Does he think it's easy to negotiate with violent lunatics, who can't understand elementary concepts?"
Good to know where we stood with him. ~ Ilona Andrews

No one has yet been born in this world that has the independent control to defecate at will. One will realize this when he becomes constipated! ~ Dada Bhagwan

People think in narrow, constrained, constipated ways about the world. They can't imagine that the world could be different. Not like the dreamers who actually see a different world, a better world. ~ Peter Kuznick

All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips. ~ W.C. Fields

Derek turned to face Stiles, his expression falling into a very familiar stare of utter disgruntled bitchiness. "Would you like more water?"

Stiles squinted, resisting the urge to mutter, ' not sure if angry, or just emotionally constipated,' under his breath. Instead, he pursed his lips and attempted to lay on the old Stilinski charm by blurting out, "I could do with something a little... harder."

It was almost disturbing how Derek was able to stare back at Stiles without blinking once. "I have beer," he said slowly, cautiously.

Stiles narrowed his eyes, echoing the tone of Derek's voice, "...harder."

".... pudding?" Derek ventured, as if pudding was actually a viable option when Stiles was demanding something harder than beer. ~ Tylerfucklin

Harry Potter," a voice says from my left. "Have you tried reading the Bible?" A woman, mid-forties, judgment scribbled all over her pinched, powdered face. Why do Bible lovers always have that constipated look on their face? Don't stereotype, Helena! I do my best to smile politely. "Is that the book where that lady turns into a statue after looking back at a burning city after God told her not to?" I say. "And where three defiant men are thrown into a furnace and don't burn. Oh, and isn't there a gal who feeds and puts to sleep the general of an enemy's army, and then uses a mallet to drive a tent peg into his brain?" She looks at me blankly. "But those are true. And that," she says, pointing to Harry, "is fiction. Not to mention devil worship." "Uh huh, uh huh. Devil worship? Is that like when the Israelites made a cow god of gold and worshipped it?" She's enraged. "You would love this book," I say, shoving The Goblet of Fire at her. "It's PG-rated compared to the Bible." "You, ~ Tarryn Fisher

Well, MacKenzie, YOU'RE the expert on toilets! It's only 8:00 a.m. and your BRAIN is completely CONSTIPATED while your MOUTH has a severe case of DIARRHEA! Please, go FLUSH! ~ Rachel Renee Russell

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I merely looked constipated. ~ George Bernard Shaw

Oh my God!" I hear him yell to just about everybody. "Did you see that?! That was John Waters. I'm almost certain he has shit his pants!!" I hear grown men laugh in constipated smugness and digestive superiority. ~ John Waters

LSD burst over the dreary domain of the constipated bourgeoisie like the angelic herald of a new psychedelic millennium. We have never been the same since, nor will we ever be, for LSD demonstrated, even to skeptics, that the mansions of heaven and gardens of paradise lie within each and all of us. ~ Terence McKenna

In vain I warned other Arab leaders, those pleasure-seeking gluttons who only listen to the fawning and simpering of those who owe them favors. There was a full complement of them at Cairo, lined up like onions, spying on each other on the sly, half of them so conceited they could not stop behaving like constipated patriarchs, the other half too thick to be able to look serious. Arrivistes who thought they had really arrived, comic-opera presidents unable to shake off their country-bumpkin reflexes, petrodollar emirs looking like rabbits straight out of the magician's hat, sultans wrapped in their robes like ghosts, disgusted at the blathering eulogies the speakers were trotting out ad infinitum. Why were they there? They cared for nothing that did not concern their personal fortunes. Busy stuffing their pockets, they refused to look up to see how dizzyingly fast the world was changing or how tomorrow's storm clouds of hate were gathering on the horizon. ~ Yasmina Khadra

I used to try and concentrate the poem so much that there wasn't a word that wasn't essential. This leads to becoming boring and constipated. ~ W. H. Auden

I'm assuming the widened eyes and squished up mouth are your way of entreating me to take you to the train station and help you question the humans. Either that or you're constipated." "I'm not constipated." I resumed The Look. ~ Debra Dunbar

So who's perfect? ... Washington had false teeth. Franklin was nearsighted. Mussolini had syphilis. Unpleasant things have been said about Walt Whitman and Oscar Wilde. Tchaikovsky had his problems, too. And Lincoln was constipated. ~ John O'Hara

There are far too many people born into the world, and far too many words written. Millions and millions of them pouring from the presses every minute. It's a horrible thought." "You sound constipated," said The Midget. ~ Josephine Tey

Despite the honor of being remembered as the first colonist to set foot on Deanna, he was also credited with discovering crabby-grass, the aforementioned life-form that disliked being stepped on. However, this also led to the unintended consequence that Mr Lupini also set the record for being the first person to actually swear on Deanna. He still lived on Deanna, and attended the Founder's Day Ceremony every year, in safety boots. Not surprisingly, the bronze Lupini didn't look very amused. Beside the representation of Lupini, stood Deanna's national bird. It was supposed to be a symbol of the early colonists' determination to stay and make a success of the colony, but its expression only made it look slightly constipated. ~ Christina Engela

The crowd had the plump, righteous, slightly constipated look that seems the exclusive province of businessmen who belong to the GOP. ~ Stephen King

Craw didn't just grunt - he made sounds like barnyard animals going to bed at night. The more frustrated and/or inarticulate he felt, the bigger the animal. This particular grunt sounded like a constipated cow. ~ Amy Lane

The great incestuous wish is to flow on, one with time, to merge the great image of the beyond with the here and now. A fatuous, suicidal wish that is constipated by words and paralyzed by thought. ~ Henry Miller

I'm so constipated that every time I go to shit, the only thing that comes out is political rhetoric. ~ Jarod Kintz

They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat! ~ David Letterman

Oh, I bet you'd find that marvelous; all of us helpless women just smiling and nodding. Though I'm afraid it would never work on me." "Of course not," he deadpans. "I'm stuck next to the one afflicted with an apparently incurable case of verbal diarrhea." "Says the man who is socially constipated. ~ Kristen Callihan

I wish that being famous helped prevent me from being constipated. ~ Marvin Gaye

Oh, for fuck's sake. The Chevy Matiz - whose idea was it? Four doors, shaped like a shoe, and all the reliability of his grandmother's digestive tract. Whether she'd been constipated or had the runs, it was always ugly, and her mood had been to match. ~ Amy Lane

Oh, hell, I can't go on a spiritual journey - I'm constipated. ~ Molly Ivins

Oh . . . I'd been getting pretty sick of the office. It made me feel dead inside. Finally, the week-ends weren't long enough to get it out of my system. I couldn't read poetry or listen to music. It was like being constipated. Well, I got a holiday and went to Kent for a week's hiking. And for the first two days I felt nothing at all, just a sort of deadness inside. And one day I went into a pub in a place called Marden and had a couple of pints. And as I came out, a sort of bubble seemed to burst inside me, and I started feeling things again. And I suddenly felt an overwhelming hatred for cities and offices and people and everything that calls itself civilisation . . . .

"Then I got an idea. I sat down at the side of the road and thought about it. I'd read somewhere that the Manichees thought the world was created by evil. Well, it suddenly seemed to me that the forces behind the world weren't either good or evil, but something quite incomprehensible to human beings. And the only thing they want is movement, everlasting movement. That's the way I saw it suddenly. Human beings want peace, and they build their civilisations and make their laws to get peace. But the forces behind the world don't want peace. So they send down ertain men whose business is to keep the world in a turmoil - the Napoleons, Hitlers, Genghis Khans. And I called these men the Enemies, with a capital E. And I thought I belong among the Enemies - that's why I detest this bloody civilisation. A ~ Colin Wilson

You're a little tall to play Ariel." said Moth.
"And you have way too many muscles," said Mustardseed.
"But you might be able to pull it off," Cobweb said, "if you can look really constipated. ~ Lisa Mantchev

Truth is not the secret of a few'
yet
you would maybe think so
the way some
librarians
and cultural ambassadors and
especially museum directors
act

you'd think they had a corner
on it
the way they
walk around shaking
their high heads and
looking as if they never
went to the bath
room or anything

But I wouldn't blame them
if I were you
They say the Spiritual is best conceived
in abstract terms
and then too
walking around in museums always makes me
want to
'sit down'
I always feel so
constipated
in those
high altitudes ~ Lawrence Ferlinghetti

On writer's block: The word block suggests that you are constipated or stuck, when the truth is that you're empty. ~ Anne Lamott

India is constipated with a lot of humbug. Take religion. For the Hindu, it means little besides caste and cow-protection. For the Muslim, circumcision and kosher meat. For the Sikh, long hair and hatred of the Muslim. For the Christian, Hinduism with a sola topee. For the Parsi, fire-worship and feeding vultures. Ethics, which should be the kernel of a religious code, has been carefully removed. ~ Khushwant Singh

Each man must administer his hatred cautiously. Mine is equitable. I distribute it evenly among those who are frozen in the past and those who perspire in the present. Because while the former are hemorrhoidal in their sensibility, the latter are constipated in the brain. And they complement each other by both betraying the law of life that demands the immediate defecation of all useless detritus, be it antiquated illusion or contemporary cowardice. ~ Juan Filloy

traffic was as mean as a constipated lion ~ J.D. Robb

The ship groaned and growled beneath him like a constipated fat man straining to shit. ~ George R R Martin

Exactly. There are all sorts of dream interpretations, Freud's being the most notorious, but I have always believed they served a simple eliminatory function, and not much more - that dreams are the psyche's way of taking a good dump every now and then. And that people who don't dream - or don't dream in a way they can often remember when they wake up - are mentally constipated in some way. After all, the only practical compensation for having a nightmare is waking up and realizing it was all just a dream. ~ Stephen King

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them. ~ Tara Gilesbie

I've asked myself that a thousand times over and I'm no closer to an answer now than I was when it began. I think that's why I always loved movies so much. In a movie, everything has to make sense. The characters always have to have motivation. Good, solid motivation for everything they do. They can't be a dickhead without reason. If someone turns on a character, they have to have a hardcore, believable reason for it. Unfortunately, in real life you don't. People turn on each other for anything from catching a constipated look on your face when you had gas and thinking it was directed at them, to not liking the brand of shoes you're wearing. People are sick. (Aiden) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

A negative look from someone else may mean nothing more than they're constipated! ~ Daniel Amen

Like so many great American fortunes, the Rosewater pile was accumulated in the beginning by a humorless, constipated Christian farm boy turned speculator and briber during and after the Civil War. ~ Kurt Vonnegut