Cat Lady Quotes

She rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone, jiggling it in her sister's direction. "Call me if you need me. And keep your phone on you so I can check you via text."

"I'm twenty-six, Audrey. I can handle myself."

"You're in your pajamas, talking to your cat. Forgive me if I feel a moment of doubt. It's like you're turning into the crazy cat lady before my eyes. ~ Jessica Clare

You're like a crazy cat lady, but you collect killers instead of fluffy cats."

"I don't collect killers."

"Yes, you do, and those who aren't killers turn into killers by the time you're done. You made Julie into a maniac. That child has more knives on her than a squad of the PAD. ~ Ilona Andrews

I kind of imagine myself at eighty, a cat lady. ~ Juliette Lewis

I love cats. I have a lot of cat tales, ha ha, so to speak. A lot of my cats come to me. They show up at my house. I'm kind of a cat lady that way. ~ Gina Gershon

If she could only find a well-educated, Shakespeare-quoting bad boy who still had a thing for sexy tatoos and maybe a mild leather fetish, she might at least have a shot at avoiding her probable future as a crazy old cat lady. ~ Kendra Leigh Castle

I was done with men. Totally and completely. I was looking forward to a life as a cat lady. I was going to get a dozen cats and a fucking great vibrator, maybe one of those rabbits I heard about, and that was it. ~ Kristen Ashley

Can I have this?" Iris asked in her honeydew voice, holding up one of the novels I'd brought her so that Amy could see the cover.
"Sorry, hot man is all out at the moment. We have some corpulent taxi driver and a slice of crazy cat-lady left, but we ran out of hot man hours ago. ~ Nicole Peeler

You've got sex hair ... or crazy cat lady hair. They're remarkably similar. ~ Molly Harper

Bonkers is female . . . Did she know that? ~ Stjepan Sejic

But I read where she was the most beautiful - "
"Ah, well," said the sergeant. "If you're going to go around reading - "
"The thing is," said Rincewind quickly, "it's what they call dramatic necessity. No one's going to be interested in a war fought over a, a quite pleasant lady, moderately attractive in a good light. Are they? ~ Terry Pratchett

You look like something the cat coughed up, dragged through dirt, ate, and coughed up again. ~ Thomm Quackenbush

Lady Helen, who had been accompanied by her husband, Mr. Rhys Winterborne, was far more reserved than the twins. Instead of Pandora's raw and radiant energy, or Cassandra's effervescent charm, she possessed a quality of sweet, patient gravity. With her silver-blonde hair and willowy slenderness, Helen seemed as ethereal as a figure form from a painting by Bougereau. ~ Lisa Kleypas

May I speak with his mother?"
"Of course,follow me."
The butler didn't go far,stopping at the door to the dining room to announce loftily, "Lady St. John has arrived, madam."
Rebecca heard a testy tone, from inside the room. "Are you blind, Charles? I'm sitting right here."
"The new Lady St. John. ~ Johanna Lindsey

Soon after the completion of his college course, his whole nature was kindled into one intense and passionate effervescence of romantic passion. His hour came, - the hour that comes only once; his star rose in the horizon, - that star that rises so often in vain, to be remembered only as a thing of dreams; and it rose for him in vain. To drop the figure, - he saw and won the love of a high-minded and beautiful woman, in one of the northern states, and they were affianced. He returned south to make arrangements for their marriage, when, most unexpectedly, his letters were returned to him by mail, with a short note from her guardian, stating to him that ere this reached him the lady would be the wife of another. Stung to madness, he vainly hoped, as many another has done, to fling the whole thing from his heart by one desperate effort. Too proud to supplicate or seek explanation, he threw himself at once into a whirl of fashionable society, and in a fortnight from the time of the fatal letter was the accepted lover of the reigning belle of the season; and as soon as arrangements could be made, he became the husband of a fine figure, a pair of bright dark eyes, and a hundred thousand dollars; and, of course, everybody thought him a happy fellow.

The married couple were enjoying their honeymoon, and entertaining a brilliant circle of friends in their splendid villa, near Lake Pontchartrain, when, one day, a letter was brought to him in that well-remembered writing. It ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

See! He likes you," Natalie said triumphantly.
I stared down at the scrawny scrap of fur cautiously sniffing my hand.
"He doesn't like me. He thinks I'm going to feed him."
"Now who's being a cynic? Anyway, every bookstore should have a cat."
The cat
assuming it was a cat and not some beige bug-eyed refugee from outer space
slunk uneasily down the counter, and flinched at the flutter of Mystery Scene pages as a gust of warm air blew in from the street. ~ Josh Lanyon

I had a cat, though. I wanted to name the frogs, because I watched them grow, but there were too many. ~ Satoshi Tajiri

Sansa sat with her hands folded in her lap, watching with a strange fascination. She had never seen a man die before. She ought to be crying too, she thought, but the tears would not come. Perhaps she had used up all her tears for Lady and Bran. It would be different if it had been Jory or Ser Rodrik or Father, she told herself. The young man in the blue cloak was nothing to her, some stranger from the Vale of Arryn whose name she had forgotten as soon as she heard it. And now the world would forget his name too, Sansa realized; there would be no songs sung for him. That was sad. ~ George R R Martin

. . . she thought, brightly, This is the worst life decision I have ever made! And she marveled at herself for a while, at the mystery of this person who'd just done this bizarre, inexplicable thing. ~ Kristen Roupenian

The mice think they are right, but my cat eats them anyways. This is the point, reality is nothing, perception is everything. ~ Terry Goodkind

Look in the mirror. Half close your eyes. Pretend you are an old lady and ask yourself if you had the chance again to have sex with a stranger would you take it? ~ Chloe Thurlow

I'm thinking of that Florida lady again, the one who wanted a book about the lighter side of a child's death, and I know: all she wanted was permission to remember her child with pleasure instead of grief. To remember that he was dead, but to remember him without pain: he's dead but of course she still loves him, and that love isn't morbid or bloodstained or unsightly, it doesn't need to be shoved away. ~ Elizabeth McCracken

It is evident, from their method of propagation, that a couple of cats, in fifty years, would stock a whole kingdom; and if that religious veneration were still paid them, it would, in twenty more, not only be easier in Egypt to find a god than a man, which Petronius says was the case in some parts of Italy; but the gods must at last entirely starve the men, and leave themselves neither priests nor votaries remaining. ~ David Hume

My uncle" is the natives' usual name for the tiger, they believing that the soul of each of their ancestors is lodged for eternity in the body of some member of the cat tribe. ~ Jules Verne

The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store ... with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store." ~ Steven Wright

My sister wanted a cat for a pet ... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark. ~ Chic Murray

Cat will have you staked in five seconds flat. ~ Cheyenne McCray

We can't leave just like that." Cat was appalled. "Where can we find you if we need you again?"
[Baba Yaga] "You can't. Listen, Little Drear, I hate saying good-byes. I have a good strategy for avoiding them."
"What's that?" asked Anton.
"I eat my guests. ~ Gregory Maguire

There's something unrefined about a reading woman, they always reek of the lamp. How can she grow up to be a lady if she's always got her nose
in a book?
Granny Rudin ~ Florence King

Lionheart glared at the cat, who smiled back. "Can you read my mind?"
"No." The cat sniffed and seemed to smile. "I can smell it. Which is made the easier for the stink your thoughts give off. All this self-pity and moping! *I did what I had to do.* Lick my whiskers, you did. Be a man, and face your actions for what they were! ~ Anne Elisabeth Stengl

But then I look to the sky and see so many stars. A hope, to be loved by someone I love, is emerging. One girl will be sent from heaven and she'll become 'my only and forever' lady… ~ Rio Haminoto

Avoiding the appearance of queenly behavior is politically wise. But it does American culture no favors if a first lady tries so hard to be average that she winds up looking common, ~ Robin Givhan

My thought, whose murder yet is but fantastical,
Shakes so my single state of man
That function is smothered in surmise,
And nothing is but what is not. ~ William Shakespeare

You need to neuter him. Otherwise he'll spray all over the house. The stench is awful. And when he isn't out catting around, little female cats in heat will show up and wail under the windows."
Kill me, please. "He is a nice cat. He's not like that."
"It's instinct, Dali. Before you know it, you'll be running a feline whorehouse. ~ Ilona Andrews

A proper drink at the right time - one mixed with care and skill and served in a true spirit of hospitality - is better than any other made thing at giving us the illusion, at least, that we're getting what we want from life. A cat can gaze upon a king, as the proverb goes, and after a Dry Martini or a Sazerac Cocktail or two, we're all cats. ~ David Wondrich

The more you talk to cats ... the smarter they become. An occasional 'nice kitty' will have no measurable effect; intelligent conversation is required. ~ Lilian Jackson Braun

Liberal" is one of those fine English words, like "lady" "gay" or "welfare" that have been spoiled by special pleading. So by "liberal I certainly don't mean tolerant or open-handed people or even big-government Democrats. I mean anyone who is excited that 1% of Ben and Jerry's profits go to promote world peace. ~ P. J. O'Rourke

The cat came first, in order to be absolute first. It arrived when all the cribs and closets and cellar bins and attic hang-spaces still needed October wings, autumn breathings, and fiery eyes. ~ Ray Bradbury

Beware, lion's lady, for your predator is hungry tonight. He may not wait long before devouring you." "Devouring me?" she asked, challenge gleaming in her eyes. "What if I devour him first? ~ Shelly Thacker

Oxthorpe stood. He could do nothing else.
Her hands stilled, and her smile faded away. She stood and dropped into a curtsy. What did one say in such situations, when one knew a lady disapproved? "Miss Clay," he said.
"Duke." She'd given the field laborer a happier smile than she gave him. Most everyone else had stopped smiling, too. This was the effect he had on others. He was the Duke of Oxthorpe, and though he did his duty by his title and his estate, he was not beloved. He did not know how to be beloved the way Miss Clay was. ~ Carolyn Jewel

I eat like a kid. I like Chief Boyardee. Their Ravioli, but they have some stuff I've never seen in the real Italian food world. You ever been in a nice Italian restaurant? Hi how are you? Ummm id like to start with a nice bottle of Chanti and a couple of Caesar Salads and umm I'm going to have the Beef a'ronni. And some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the lady. ~ Brian Regan

Unbelievable. Every girl at this college would cut her frickin' arm off to help me out. But this one? Runs away like I just asked her to murder a cat so we could sacrifice it to Satan. ~ Elle Kennedy

The most domestic cat, which has lain on a rug all her days, appears quite at home in the woods, and, by her sly and stealthy behavior, proves herself more native there than the regular inhabitants. ~ Henry David Thoreau

You, er..." He hesitated. "Not that I mind, but you may want to fix your frock."
She glanced downward. Seeing her exposed breast, she quickly tucked it back in her stays. "See what I mean? Heaps of humiliations. Heaps."
Gabe wondered if the past quarter hour went into her heaps of humiliations, or whether she regarded it as something else.
He wondered, but he wasn't going to ask.
On his part, he wouldn't be filing this memory under the heading of "Humiliations." Oh, no. It was going straight into the stash of "Fantasies" that every man kept under his mattress, figuratively if not literally.
He was never going to forget the taste of her, pure and sweet. The way her skin moved liked satin under his hands, warming to his touch.
And the way she'd responded to him? That was already etched on his brain.
I think it's the urges, she'd said.
The worrisome part of it was, their urges had gone unsatisfied.
They would remain so, he told himself. This afternoon had been a mistake. An enjoyable mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. Time to revive his judgement. Gabe could survive deprivation of all sorts, including this one.
He would not put his hands on Lady Penelope Campion again.
Absolutely not.
Definitely not.
Probably not.
Damn. ~ Tessa Dare

Some of us wear the mask prouder than others. ~ Lady Gaga

In a cage of wire-ribs
The size of a man's head, the macaw bristles in a staring
Combustion, suffers the stoking devils of his eyes.
In the old lady's parlour, where an aspidistra succumbs
To the musk of faded velvet, he hangs in clear flames,
Like a torturer's iron instrument preparing
With dense slow shudderings of greens, yellows, blues,
Crimsoning into the barbs:

Or like the smouldering head that hung
In Killdevil's brass kitchen, in irons, who had been
Volcano swearing to vomit the world away in black ash,
And would, one day; or a fugitive aristocrat
From some thunderous mythological hierarchy, caught
By a little boy with a crust and a bent pin,
Or snare of horsehair set for a song-thrush,
And put in a cage to sing.

The old lady who feeds him seeds
Has a grand-daughter. The girl calls him 'Poor Polly', pokes fun.
'Jolly Mop.' But lies under every full moon,
The spun glass of her body bared and so gleam-still
Her brimming eyes do not tremble or spill
The dream where the warrior comes, lightning and iron,
Smashing and burning and rending towards her loin:
Deep into her pillow her silence pleads.

All day he stares at his furnace
With eyes red-raw, but when she comes they close.
'Polly. Pretty Poll', she cajoles, and rocks him gently.
She caresses, whispers kisses. The blue lids stay shut.
She strikes the cage in a t ~ Ted Hughes

No, I mean I'm claiming her for real. Now. I'm done fucking around. Gonna make her my old lady. ~ Joanna Wylde

Cats are peaceful and tranquil - they bring calmness with their serene personalities. ~ Chris Evert

People are always trying to tell you how they feel. Some of them say it outright, and some of them, they tell you with their actions. And you have to listen. I don't know what will happen with your lady friend. I think she's a nice person, and I hope you get what you want. But do me a favor: Listen, and don't ignore what you hear. ~ Justin Halpern

I'm a fraidy cat. I play everything very safe in my life, so I think that's why I like characters that don't. ~ Jennifer Jason Leigh

Hey, lady, you know what? Here's a newsflash: Hitler's not coming. ~ Annette Laing

I'm totally sick of hotels. I'm totally sick of room service. I'm totally sick of how can I help you ma'am? I just want to go home and wash some dishes, play with my cat, watch some TV. ~ V V Brown

Lady Tina DeSilva. The president of the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club Castle Lockes Chapter. And my most mortal of enemies. "Oh look, everyone. Mervin has arrived and he brought the muffins. If past experiences have any prescience as to what we can expect, then they're sure to be as dry as his conversational skills." She was also sixteen years old. And evil. ~ T.J. Klune

One evening, at the time of the Six-Day War, I [Christopher Hitchens] had my wicked way with a lovely lady, who had earlier intimated that she did not perhaps find me entirely repulsive. We procured a decent room, as I remember, at the Cadogan Hotel. Perhaps a little flown with wine, I asked her to don a Martin Amis face mask which I had - with a combination of sticky tape, elastic bands, cardboard, and a much-treasured photograph - prepared earlier. The fair damsel was happy to oblige, and thus attired she permitted me to embark on the hugely agreeable pathway to libidinous fulfillment. ~ Craig Brown

For Liz, all American men were divided into two classes: those who treated you as if you were a frail old lady, and those who treated you as if you were just frail. ~ Josephine Tey

A special gift for a special Lady. ~ Anne Bishop

No lady, beautiful or plain, young or old, deserved to be gawked at. ~ Sarah J. Maas