Lilian Jackson Braun Quotes

The Madame deplored fat men. They had no laps, and of what use is a lapless human? Nevertheless, she gave him the common courtesy of a sniff at his trouser cuffs and immediately backed away, twitching her nose and showing her teeth.

Certain element - a few crazies - that don't have anything to do. They shot out two streetlights on Goodwinter Boulevard last night. When I was a kid we smashed pumpkins and strung trees with toilet paper on Halloween, but this new generation does it all year round.

Every Dog Has A Day But A Cat Has 365

Nothing can scatter like 3 Siamese cats better than 2 Siamese cats.

No one ever owns a cat," he corrected her. "You share a common habitation on a basis of equal rights and mutual respect . . . although somehow the cat always comes out ahead of the deal. Siamese particularly have a way of getting the upper hand.

The more you talk to cats ... the smarter they become. An occasional 'nice kitty' will have no measurable effect; intelligent conversation is required.

A female feline named Katta
Is getting fatta and fatta
But she's pretty and purry
And funny and furry
So what does an ounce or two matta?

Phut Phat knew, at an early age, that humans were an inferior breed. They were unable to see in the dark. They ate and drank unthinkable concoctions. And they had only five senses; the pair who lived with Phut Phat could not even transmit their thoughts without resorting to words.

Cats are cats ... the world over!
These intelligent, peace-loving, four-footed friends- who are without prejudice, without hate, without greed- may someday teach us something.
-James Mackintosh Qwilleran

I'm a gypsy at heart," Qwilleran said. "Home is where I hang my toothbrush and where the cats have their commode. See you tonight.

Cats never strike a pose that isn't photogenic.

Cats don't fight for their rights; they take them for granted. They have a right to be fed, watered, stroked on demand and supplied with a lap and a clean commode

I'm beginning to be skeptical of my own skepticism.

Like any normal cat Madame Phloi lived by the Rule of Three. She resisted any innovation three times before accepting it, tackled an obstacle three times before giving up, and tried each activity three times before tiring of it.

His wise parent disapproved of this uncatly conduct; it indicated a certain lack of character, and no good would come of it. By her own example she tried to guide him. When dinner was served she gave the plate a haughty sniff and walked away, no matter how tempting the dish. That was the way it was done by any self-respecting feline. In a minute or two she returned and condescended to dine, but never with open enthusiasm.

Do you mind living alone?" she asked. "I've tried it both ways," he replied, "and I know it can be a letdown to come home to an empty apartment, but now I have the Siamese to greet me at the door. They're good companions; they need me; they're always happy to see me come home. On the other hand, they're always glad to see me go out - one of the things that cats do to keep a person from feeling too important.

Home is where i hang my toothbrush and where the cats have their commode

Beware of the clever ones; the dumb ones are safer.

Cats are fond of mooning.

One should be able to say anything to a close friend, he reflected, and yet part of friendship was knowing what not to say and when not to say it,

No one had ever accused Koko of being naughty. Perverse, perhaps, or arrogant, or despotic. But naughtiness was beneath his dignity.

The way to test a man's sincerity is to serve him a bad cup of coffee. If he doesn't comment, he is not to be trusted.

The cats were relaxing in a patch of sunlight on the rug without a thought in their sleek brown heads. What matter to them that it was Sunday-or even Thursday? Every day was Today in their scheme of things, and there was no such thing as Yesterday or Tomorrow.

Dogs have their day but cats have 365.

My days keep getting shorter. When I'm a hundred, I'll be going to bed before I get up.

She had white cat hair on her dark suit, she was a dedicated cat hugger.

...it's unsportsmanlike to engage in a battle of wits with anyone who is obviously unarmed.

At dinner time he would sit in a corner, concentrating; and suddenly they would say, 'Time to feed the cat,' as if it were their idea.

To understand a cat, you must realize that he has has own gifts, his own viewpoint, even his own morality