Batshit Crazy Quotes

I won't sugarcoat shit. You're tiptoeing on the line between batshit crazy and sane. ~ Toni Aleo

If there's no sun, I go batshit crazy. ~ Megan Fox

Get this straight, you can use a Leopard in a mission, you can send him out to kill for you. Hell, you can even fuck one. The one thing you can never, ever do is trust one. Leopards by nature are cold, emotionless and psychotic. They were made with one purpose and that was to destroy others. So whatever you do, don't turn your back on one and you sure as hell don't fall in love with one of the batshit, crazy loons - Carson to Trevor about Shane ~ Stephani Hecht

When you first heard him talking about it, you'd figure he was batshit crazy, but really, he was just trying to fill up his days so he didn't have to think about what a fucking mess he had made of everything. It's the same for most of us; forgetting our lives might be the best we'll ever do. ~ Donald Ray Pollock

women, all of whom come in two types: those who are totally batshit crazy, and those who are liars. ~ Jenny Mollen

Why would you think that?" "Perhaps because she is batshit crazy, Brooke." Jamie slow-clapped. "Jamie," Brooke said calmly. "I'm not sure that's productive." "I was applauding Mara for her extraordinary appropriate use of the term 'batshit crazy'. ~ Michelle Hodkin

Seems the World goes batshit crazy, every few decades. Just long enough to forget the last time the World went batshit crazy. ~ Neil DeGrasse Tyson

All the lessons of history and experience must be lost upon us if we are content to trust alone to the peculiar advantages we happen to possess. Look, being a lame flunky for a batshit crazy person isn't all that bad. Stay alive long enough and you may sneak your way to Washington! ~ Martin Van Buren

Oh Beck, I love reading your e-mail. Learning your life. And I am careful; I always mark new messages unread so that you won't get alarmed. My good fortune doesn't stop there; You prefer e-mail. You don't like texting. So this means that I am not missing out on all that much communication. You wrote an "essay" for some blog in which you stated that "e-mails last forever. You can search for any word at any time and see everything you ever said to anyone about that one word. Texts go away." I love you for wanting a record. I love your records for being so accessible and I'm so full of you, your calendar of caloric intake and hookups and menstrual moments, your self-portraits you don't publish, your recipes and exercises. You will know me soon too, I promise. ~ Caroline Kepnes

I didn't really know how to write jokes, so I just told weird, long stories about being tall and beautiful and wealthy in New York. I'd tell them very seriously, but I kind of looked like a drag queen at the time with big wigs and crazy 12-inch platform heels. ~ Melissa McCarthy

Your parents are just trying to do what's best for you," said Carla. "A lot of people think counselors don't belong in schools." She shrugged. "I guess they're afraid I might full your head with all kinds of crazy ideas. ~ Louis Sachar

The 'Night Train' has already been a crazy ride for me. We flew around making TV appearances and stadium announcements all over the country, fueled by little more than coffee and adrenaline ... so many fans jumped on board with us, and I couldn't be more thankful. ~ Jason Aldean

I am taking you out. On a date. Before things get crazy. ~ Cynthia Hand

Well, Daddy, I used to believe that artists went crazy in the process of creating the beautiful works of art that kept society sane. Nowadays, though, artists make intentionally ugly art that's only supposed to reflect society rather than inspire it. So I guess we're all loony together now, loony rats in the shithouse of commercialism. ~ Tom Robbins

There's something else I'm curious about, Kelsey."
I smiled at him. "Sure, what else do you want to know?"
"What exactly is going on between you and Ren?"
A vise clamped down on my chest, but I tried to play it cool. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, are you two more than just traveling companions? Are you together?"
I clipped off a fast, "No. Definitely not."
He grinned. "Good!" He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "Then that means you're free to go out with me. No girl in her right mind would want to be with Ren, anyway. He's very…stuffy. Cold, as far as relationships go."
My mouth hung open for a minute, shocked, and then I felt anger shove the shock aside and take over. "First of all, I am not going to be with either one of you. Second, a girl would have to be crazy not to want Ren. You're wrong about him. He's not stuffy or cold. In fact, he's considerate, warm, drop-dead gorgeous, dependable, loyal, sweet, and charming."
He raised an eyebrow and measure me thoughtfuly for a minute. I squirmed under his gaze, knowing that I had spoken too quickly and said way too much.
He ventured carefully. "I see. You may be right. The Dhiren I know has surely changed in the past couple of hundred years. However, despite that and your insistent claim that you will not be with either one of us, I would like to propose that we go out and celebrate tonight, if not as my..what is the correct word?"
"The word is date."
"Date. If not as my date… ~ Colleen Houck

2015 was, like, packed from January. 2016 is simultaneously open and packed - but I'm trying to keep 2016 open as possible so I can do weird, crazy, kooky stuff. ~ Tyler Oakley

My new iPhone, I'm obsessed. My iPod. I love all the Mac crap. AppleTV, I'm crazy about that. I'd rather buy a new gadget than, like, a purse. ~ Kaley Cuoco

I live in L.A., I grew up here, it's not that crazy for me because it's L.A., you know? ~ Michael Welch

A fool is someone who enjoys calling other people crazy before they check out their own insanity in the mirror ... first. ~ Timothy Pina

It was not facing what life dealt that made you crazy, but rather trying to set life straight where it was unstraightenable. ~ Anne Lamott

I mistakenly believed that my life had finally reached the peak of Crazy Bullshit Mountain. Hindsight ~ Jeremy Robert Johnson

My love for you is genuine,real, and not based off material things. I give you so much of me it's crazy. My soul is love, not hate, or greed. When my body leaves this earth my soul will always be love. ~ Chantel Smith

My schedulers keep getting driven crazy by the fact that they can't fit hikes in my schedule. ~ Gale Norton

Now, let's imagine that we have been condemned for life to making, year in year out a burdensome and nearly impossible decision to which the world increasingly and inexplicably ascribes a crazy importance. How do we go about it? We look for some simple, rapid, and broadly acceptable criteria that will help us get this pain out of the way. And since, as Borges himself noted, aesthetics are difficult and require a special sensibility and long reflection while political affiliations are easier and quickly grasped, we begin to identify those areas of the world that have grabbed public attention, perhaps because of political turmoil or abuses of human rights; we find those authors who have already won a huge level of respect and possibly major prizes in the literary communities of these countries and who are outspokenly committed to the right side of whatever political divide we're talking about, and we select them. ~ Tim Parks

Making these choices [to attend school instead of skipping], as it turned out, wasn't about willpower. I always admired people who "willed" themselves to do something, because I have never felt I was one of them. If sheer will were enough by itself, it would have been enough a long time ago, back on University Avenue, I figured. It wasn't, not for me anyway. Instead, I needed something to motivate me. I needed a few things that I could think about in my moments of weakness that would cause me to throw off the blanket and walk through the front door. More than will, I needed something to inspire me.

One thing that helped was a picture I kept in mind, this image that I used over and over whenever I was faced with these daily choices. I pictured a runner running on a racetrack. The image was set in the summertime and the racetrack was a reddish orange, divided in white racing stripes to flag the runners' columns. Only, the runner in my mental image did not run alongside others; she ran solo, with no one watching her. And she did not run a free and clear track, she ran one that required her to jump numerous hurdles, which made her break into a heavy sweat under the sun. I used this image every time I thought of things that frustrated me: the heavy books, my crazy sleep schedule, the question of where I would sleep and what I would eat. To overcome these issues I pictured my runner bolting down the track, jumping hurdles toward the finish line.

Hunger, hurdle ~ Liz Murray

No, brother, I'm sane. What drives people crazy is trying to live outside reality. Reality is terrible. It can kill you. Given time, it certainly will kill you. The reality is pain- you said that! But it's the lies, the evasions of reality, that drive you crazy. It's the lies that make you want to kill yourself. ~ Ursula K. Le Guin

Silence, that inspired dealer, takes the day's deck, the life, all in a crazy heap, lays it out, and plays its flawless hand of solitaire, every card in place. Scoops them up, and does it all over again. ~ Patricia Hampl

Never felt anything like this. Told you I didn't care how crazy this was. Still don't. I love you."
"Brian," I whispered.
He took my face between his hands.
"I love you, Syd," he repeated, eyes serious. "Fuck it, all right? Fuck our crazy. I want it."
A laugh bubbled in my throat.
"I love you, too," I said. "You're the best mistake I've ever made. ~ J. Daniels

That's a Planeswalker demon." Dante slumped into the seat behind her. "You aren't crazy." Meg slid him a bemused glance. "I thought we'd settled that a few weeks back.""Nope," he said,shaking his head. "I was still certain you were loony.""Then why have you been helping me?""I don't know if you've noticed, sweetheart, but you have fabulous tits," Dante said with a sigh. "I figured once you gave up on the whole idea of being queen of the faery world, you might consider sleeping with me. Now I see that demons are real. I'm going to church tomorrow. ~ Sophie Oak

With crazy [working] hours, it's not easy to find balance. However, the one silver lining is that you really find out who your friends are and who's really interested in you for you, because the schedule is challenging for any relationship. ~ Jenna Lee

Maybe he's not coming,' I whispered to Damar. 'He's crazy after all. Maybe something shiny caught his attention and he forgot about me. ~ Diana Graves

Fate is a crazy thing. ~ Saumya Sharman

Frankenswine:

Like an old crazy quilt, I'm pieces and parts from nine different bodies and five different hearts. My brain is a poet's, my snout's from a thief, my hooves all belonged to the old fire chief, I'm slogging thru swamps and mist covered bogs, hunted by farmers with torches and dogs. Thru mountains and towns, over oceans and snow, I've landed here on this arctic ice floe. So I sit here alone at the world frozen end, just looking for someone whom I can call friend. ~ Doug Cushman

My name is Towner Whitney. No, that's not exactly true. My real first name is Sophya. Never believe me. I lie all the time.

I am a crazy woman... That last part is true. ~ Brunonia Barry

When I was a kid I used to get fun out of my horrors. ~ Eugene O'Neill

Divorce can be crazy. Man, if you're happy ... Love is a beast, man. Hold on. Be prepared for any way it may go, and be honest. ~ Nas

The very best thing you can be in life is a teacher, provided you are crazy in love with what you teach, and that your classes consist of eighteen students or fewer. Classes of eighteen students or fewer are a family, and feel and act like one. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

I couldn't tell you exactly what I like about golf. Just when you think you've got it mastered it lets you know you haven't. I'm just crazy enough to do it. ~ Clint Eastwood

Piece of cake really – Enforcers, crazy psychopath dude with giant laser rail guns, throw in a few bounty hunters, a couple torture experts – sounds great, I really can't wait can you?" Duv Jackson, Gunship ~ J.J. Snow

You're the whole focus of my world," he murmured. "After you left, I went crazy.I flew down to New Orleans, and-"
"You did?" Stunned,she drew back to look at him. "You went after me?"
"With various purposes in mind," he muttered. "First,I was going to strangle you,then I was going to crawl, then I was going to just drag you back and lock you upstairs."
Smiling,she rested her head on his chest. "And now?"
"Now." He kissed her hair. "We compromise. I'll let you live."
"Good start." With a sigh,she closed her eyes. "I want to watch the sea in winter."
He tilted her face to his. "We will."
"There is something else..."
"Before or after I make love to you?"
Laughing,she pulled away from him. "It better be before.Since you haven't mentioned marriage yet,it falls to me."
"Gennie-"
"No,this is one time we'll do it all my way." She draw out the coin Serena had given her before she'd lef the Comanche. "And,in a way,it's a kind of compromise.Heads,we get married. Tails we don't."
Grant grabbed her wrist before she could toss. "You're not going to play games with something like that, Genvieve, unless that's a two-headed coin."
She smiled. "It certainly is."
Surprise came first,then his grin. "Toss it.I like the odds. ~ Nora Roberts

(about cats) They also resist our calls to come, to move, to obey, to present themselves, to do all the things that dogs do so easily. This drives some people crazy. Cats do not even care what drives us crazy! ~ Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson

It's as valid to repeat to ourselves what we need to believe, as it is to believe in the things others repeatedly told us but affect us negatively. It sounds crazy, but not as crazy as believing in the things that others said and damage us. ~ Robin Sacredfire

The way I feel about you ... it's crazy."
"You got the crazy part right," she snapped, pulling away from me.
"I practiced this in my head the whole time we were on the bike, so just hear me out."
"Travis - "
"I know we're fucked-up, all right? I'm impulsive and hot tempered, and you get under my skin like no one else. You act like you hate me one minute, and then you need me the next. I never get anything right, and I don't deserve you ... but I fucking love you, Abby. I love you more than I've loved anyone or anything, ever. When you're around, I don't need booze or money or the fighting or the one-night stands ... all I need is you. You're all I think about. You're all I dream about. You're all I want. ~ Jamie McGuire

I am furiously happy. It's not a cure for mental illness ... it's a weapon, designed to counter it. It's a way to take back some of the joy that's robbed from you when you're crazy. ~ Jenny Lawson

Her heart just about stopped. "Us?" she asked in shock. "There is no us. There's a you. And there's a me. And okay, so sometimes we get crazy and become a very momentary us but it's not real." "It could be," he said. She gaped at him, completely gobsmacked. ~ Jill Shalvis

It had been a dangerous gamble - and unfair to the Hemlocks, who knew nothing of their role in the deadly game - but sometimes you have to take chances. Was it wise to risk five lives for the sake of one? Probably not. But it was human. If I'd learned one thing from my one encounter with the crazy vampaneze, it was that even the undead could be human. We had to be - without a touch of humanity, we'd be like Murlough, nothing more than bloodthirsty monsters of the night. ~ Darren Shan

That's why crazy people are so dangerous. You think they're nice until they're chaining you up in the garage. ~ Michael Buckley

The lover visible, the Beloved invisible: whose crazy idea was this? ~ Rumi

To be fair, you can tell me what you think of me," Max offered. "I didn't mean to offend you. I was just making a few observations."
"How could I possibly know enough about you to make a proper judgment?" His tone was harsher than he'd anticipated. "You've taken a stranger into your home without so much as a second thought and offered everything but your bed. Crazy comes to mind. Suicidal maybe."
Max leaned forward in her chair, readying her defenses. "Excuse me?"
"I don't mean to sound ungrateful here but please remember that you don't know me. I appreciate all that you've done but that doesn't entitle you to judge me."
"I wasn't judging you," she bit back. "But maybe you're right. I don't think I thought this through at all. ~ Shawn Kirsten Maravel

I just wanted to have someone who understands the real me, and likes me anyway. Is that so crazy? ~ Riley Jean

In most groups the craziest person is in control. It starts because no one wants the problems that come from pissing off a crazy person. It's just smarter and easier sometimes to let the crazy person have his or her way. ~ Scott Adams

The crazy never die. ~ Hunter S. Thompson

I can't rationalize the brilliance and knowledge that you have about the intricacies of the market with the crazy bullshit I see you do each night. ~ Jon Stewart

Make yourself interesting to history. Master some aspect of life, and then find a different area and do something crazy. Become a painter, then round up a herd of cattle and slaughter them with your bare hands. Then collect their blood and paint a mural memorializing their glorious death. ~ Jarod Kintz