Abuse Abuse Survivors Quotes

There certainly are some women who treat their male partners badly, berating them, calling them names, attempting to control them. The negative impact on these men's lives can be considerable. But do we see men whose self-esteem is gradually destroyed through this process? Do we see men whose progress in school or in their careers grinds to a halt because of the constant criticism and undermining? Where are the men whose partners are forcing them to have unwanted sex? Where are the men who are fleeing to shelters in fear for their lives? How about the ones who try to get to a phone to call for help, but the women block their way or cut the line? The reason we don't generally see these men is simple: They're rare.
I don't question how embarrassing it would be for a man to come forward and admit that a woman is abusing him. But don't underestimate how humiliated a woman feels when she reveals abuse; women crave dignity just as much as men do. If shame stopped people from coming forward, no one would tell. ~ Lundy Bancroft

Clouds of confusion
rolled into illusion
He veils perversion
forcing her coercion
Her body he takes
while she flies away
unbelievable, she's invisible ~ Diana Rasmussen

She listens at doors and around corners. She has always had this habit. A child in danger must learn to pay more attention to the adults than a child loved and cherished. ~ Naomi Alderman

After what she's been through, there really should be crime scene tape around her heart. ~ John Mark Green

Shouldn't there be more distaste in our mouths for the abusers than for those who continue to love the abusers? ~ Colleen Hoover

He was a pitiful thing. He had always been a pitiful thing. Why had she never seen that before? There was a hollow place inside her where her fear had been. ~ George R R Martin

the gravity of wound to fist ~ Karen Russell

The internal system of an abuse victim differs from the non-abuse system with regard to the consistent absence of the effective leadership, the extreme rules under which the parts function, and the absenve of any consistent balance or harmony. Typically, the parts operate around outdated assumptions and beliefs derived from the childhood abuse, believing, for example, that it is still extremely dangerous to reveal secrets about childhood experiences which were endured. ~ Bessel A. Van Der Kolk

What most people call spontaneous recall usually involves memories that have been denied, not repressed. The survivor has always been aware that the sexual abuse happened, but he or she has studiously avoided thinking about it. A catalyst sets the memory process in motion, but the essential factor in the memory surfacing is the readiness of the survivor to deal with the reality of abuse. ~ Renee Fredrickson

To hold traumatic reality in consciousness requires a social context that affirms and protects the victim and that joins the victim and witness in a common alliance. For the individual victim, this social context is created by relationships with friends, lovers, and family. For the larger society, the social context is created by political movements that give voice to the disempowered. ~ Judith Lewis Herman

Her voice is soft and kind. "Danny, do you feel safe at home?"

No.

There it is. I don't feel safe at home. I open my mouth to say something, and as I do I realize that like my other, I can't give it a name. Not out loud. Not even to Valkyrja. Because if I admit it, if I call it what it is, then I can't hide from it anymore either. It becomes real in a way I am not ready for. Might never be ready for. Ther will be no illusions of safety, no peaceful times alone in my room.

There will only be times when he's not hurting me. ~ April Daniels

About the expression "Hurt people, hurt people".. Hurt people are not going to stop HURTING other people until they receive the memo that it is WRONG, (or if there are actual consequences for their behaviour.) Feeling sorry for them and understanding where they 'came from' is not helping to stop the cycle of abuse. ~ Darlene Ouimet

Nobody has ever killed themselves over a broken arm. But every day, thousands of people kill themselves because of a broken heart. Why? Because emotional pain hurts much worse than physical pain. ~ Oliver Markus

Don't you love your mother, dear?"
"I guess so. A hard, sharp, thorny kind of love that might be pity more than anything else. ~ Dean Koontz

If I were free, as a physician, to say what I pleased, I would tell every abused person I see that there is an entire world out there that is nothing like the one you're living. Go discover it. ~ C. Kennedy

People expect all stories of abuse
to be loud and angry
but they're not.

Sometimes they're quiet and cruel
and swept under the rug. ~ Trista Mateer

I grew up missing my mom while she was right in front of me. ~ Maggie Young

And as the ground gets farther and farther away you swear to yourself that you're going to tell someone how bad it is, you're gonna stop pretending like none of these things are happening, but by the time the ground is coming toward you again you are already polishing your story. ~ Carmen Maria Machado

All people cross the line from childhood to adulthood with a secondhand opinion of who they are. Without any questioning, we take as truth whatever our parents and other influentials have said about us during our childhood, whether these messages are communicated verbally, physically, or silently. ~ Heyward Bruce Ewart III

Being a victim is supposed to set you free; it acquits you of any agency, any sense of responsibility to the person who did you harm. It's not your fault, they say. Leave him, they say. Nobody ever tells you what to do if leaving isn't an option.
They just call you stupid. A dumb bitch.
Sympathy is only meted out if you follow all of
society's rules for how a victim is supposed to behave. ~ Nenia Campbell

Some Survivors get angry at having to work at recovering from sexual abuse. They feel that it is unfair. They suffered all their life because of what someone else did to them: why do they have to suffer any more pain? This anger of "having" to do something is similar to the anger they felt at "having" to put up with the abuse. ~ Beverly Engel

For all those who believed me,
and for all those who didn't.
It can't be easy hearing
things that you shouldn't. ~ Icarus X.

It is always a mistake to underestimate how long it takes for mankind to understand the traumas it has suffered, especially the self-inflicted ones. ~ A.C. Grayling

Don't judge yourself by what others did to you. ~ C. Kennedy

From what I've been told, the scariest part of being part of a domestic abuse relationship is the idea that you cannot escape and you cannot get help, that feeling of being stuck. ~ Kerry Washington

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not trying to dissect your self-worth to others or even yourself."
~Love is respect ♥~ ~ Charlena E. Jackson

They don't like the thought of someone else making demands on the person whom they see as belonging entirely to them. ~ Jodi Picoult

More or less of these inner assets are still available within you to help you to not just live but to flourish. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Surveillance of power is one of the most important ways to ensure that power does not abuse its status. But, of course, power does not like to be watched. ~ Bruce Schneier

I was dying on the inside because I willingly gave you my soul. I was crying nearly every day on the outside because I trusted you..."
~Love is respect ♥~ ~ Charlena E. Jackson

This October, we renew the fight against domestic violence and abuse in America. Together, we can eliminate domestic violence from homes across the country and ensure that our children grow up in healthy, peaceful communities. ~ Lucille Roybal-Allard

how do i welcome in kindness
when i have only practiced
spreading my legs for the terrifying
what am i to do with you
if my idea of love is violence
but you are sweet
if your concept of passion is eye contact
but mine is rage
how can i call this intimacy
if i crave sharp edges
but your edges aren't even edges
they are soft landings
how do i teach muself
to accept a healthy love
if all i've ever known is pain ~ Rupi Kaur

If a girl gets sexual pleasure from riding a horse, does the horse suffer? If not, who cares? If you French kiss your dog and he or she thinks it's great, is it wrong? We believe all exploitation and abuse is wrong. If it isn't exploitation and abuse, it may not be wrong. ~ Ingrid Newkirk

It is time to embrace mental health and substance use/abuse as illnesses. Addiction is a disease. ~ Steven Kassels

We do not explain my husband's insane abuse
and we do not say why your wild-haired wife has fled
or that my father opened like a walnut and then was dead.
Your palms fold over me like knees. Love is the only use. ~ Anne Sexton

Male aggressiveness consists in asking a woman to have intercourse and waiting for her to say yes, or a definite no. Skilful tacticians enhance their chances of making out by distributing their attentions among several women at a time (one version of 'playing the field') thus increasing their statistical chances for a favorable answer, depending on circumstances. This is the height of male aggressiveness that is tolerated. Genuine aggressiveness - rape - [men] have forbidden themselves by law. ~ Esther Vilar

In 1975, no State or Church guidelines existed in the Republic of Ireland to assist those responding to an allegation of abuse against a minor. No training was given to priests, teachers, police officers or others who worked regularly with children about how to respond appropriately should such allegations be made. ~ Sean Brady

Yes, yes, but the freedom to speculate is essential-"
"No one has tried to deprive you of that. Nor is anyone offended. But to abuse the intellect for reasons of pride, vanity, or escape from responsibility, is the fruit of the same tree. ~ Walter M. Miller Jr.

If your parents' faces never lit up when they looked at you, it's hard to know what it feels like to be loved and cherished. If you come from an incomprehensible world filled with secrecy and fear, it's almost impossible to find the words to express what you have endured. If you grew up unwanted and ignored, it is a major challenge to develop a visceral sense of agency and self-worth. ~ Bessel A. Van Der Kolk

To forget and to repress would be a good solution if there were no more to it than that. But repressed pain blocks emotional life and leads to physical symptoms. And the worst thing is that although the feelings of the abused child have been silenced at the point of origin, that is, in the presence of those who caused the pain, they find their voice when the battered child has children of his own. ~ Alice Miller

Kyo: Of course, I'll beat YOU, too!
Yuki: Don't you ever get tired of saying that?
Kyo: Beating you is my vocation! It's my goal in life!
Yuki: It's so unfair that I keep having to take abuse just because you can't meet your goals.
Kyo: THAT CONDESCENDING ATTITUDE OF YOURS REALLY PISSES ME OFF!
Yuki: And that revolting thought process of yours pisses me off. ~ Natsuki Takaya

Being kidnapped and abused by the undead was worse than calculus, but not by a wide margin. ~ Thomm Quackenbush

Observing that we have waged wars on poverty and drugs as well as cancer, Susan Sontag writes, "Abuse of the military metaphor may be inevitable in ~ Eula Biss

Having a few half fish in my family tree keeps my vision from blurring through the pudgy tears-I can perfectly see the solid yellow line on the road as I walk it. When I hear him following, I rip off my heels and start sprinting. Two months ago, this kind of abuse to my feet would leave them bleeding and with who-knows-what embedded in them. But with the convenience of my new thick skin, running barefoot is like running in Nike's latest kicks.
Galen is apparently a flying fish though-his hand wraps around my arm, braking my own sad attempt at flight. He whirls me around. Pulling me to him, he lifts my chin with the pad of his thumb. When I jerk away, he grasps it tight, forcing me to look at him. The old Emma would be bruised within the next ten minutes. The new one is just pissed off.
"Let go!" I screech, pushing against his chest. Somehow this just gets me closer to him.
"Emma," he growls as I stomp his foot. "What would you have done?"
Okay, that's unexpected. I stop flailing. "What? ~ Anna Banks

...the child cries because they need something. If the child had the ability to take care of the problem themselves, they wouldn't cry. And if their crying is ignored, they start to feel helpless and frustrated because they can't get what they need. They may even fear abandonment - or feel that their life is in danger because no one is coming to help them. Failing to meet a crying child's needs also teaches the child that their needs and feelings are unimportant and even dangerous, and that they are bad and unworthy of love. ~ Darius Cikanavicius

The poet is one who is able to keep the fresh vision of the child alive. ~ Anais Nin

The police still found this earlier omission in my statement hard to understand, but they weren't the ones who had been the victim of the Wests, how could they have understood? ~ Stephen Richards

The Unexpected Gift
Torn asunder from her slumber
in the hour of half past three
The child knew the tyrannical regime
and followed instinctively.
-(slice from Enigmatic Evolution) ~ Muse

Let's suppose somebody abused you sexually. You still had a choice, though not a good one, about what to tell yourself about the abuse. ~ Albert Ellis

And then there were men who were violently afraid of losing to a woman, the scariest men in the world. They become dictators, heads of state, bureaucrats, men with deadly weapons, they were everywhere. Sometimes she could pick one out with a look, but they were often charming, they had to have the power to attract in order to dominate. ~ Haven Kimmel

The reference in 1 Corinthians 11:27 is to Christ's actual body, which was crucified, as the reference to blood makes evident. Anaziõs has been translated 'in an unworthy manner,' and sometimes incorrectly thought to modify not the way of partaking but the character of the persons partaking. But Paul refers to those who are partaking in an unworthy manner, not those who in themselves are unworthy, which presumably Paul would see as including any and all believers. No one is worthy of partaking of the Lord's Supper; it's not a matter of personal worth. Paul is rather concerned with the abuse in the actions of the participants, or at least some of them. Paul says that those who partake in an unworthy manner, abusing the privilege, are liable or guilty in some sense of the body and blood of Jesus. They are, in addition, partaking without discerning or distinguishing 'the body. ~ Ben Witherington III

A noble and Godlike character is not a thing of favour or chance, but is the natural result of continued effort in right thinking, the effect of long-cherished association with Godlike thoughts. An ignoble and bestial character, by the same process, is the result of the continued harbouring of grovelling thoughts. Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armoury of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascends to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse and wrong application of thought, he descends below the level of the beast. Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master. ~ James Allen

It's the principle of it, I get a rush when I bust
Some dope lines oral, that maybe somebody'll quote.
That's what I consider real in this field of music,
Instead of puttin' brain cells to work, they abuse it.
Non-conceptual, non-exceptional,
Everybody's either crime-related or sexual.
For those who pose lyrical, but really ain't true, I feel:
Their time's limited, hard rocks too. ~ O.C.

I loved you head over handles
like my first bicycle accident
before the mouthful of gravel and blood,
I swore we were flying.
-Cycle of Abuse ~ Sierra DeMulder

If anyone has seen the horrific and unwatchable footage of the Chinese cat and dog trade - animals skinned alive - then they could not possibly argue in favour of China as a caring nation. There are no animal protection laws in China and this results in the worst animal abuse and cruelty on the planet. It is indefensible. ~ Morrissey

That thou hast her, it is not all my grief,
And yet it may be said I lov'd her dearly;
That she hath thee is of my wailing chief,
A loss in love that touches me more nearly.

Loving offenders, thus I will excuse ye:
Thou dost love her because thou know'st I love her, And for my sake even so doth she abuse me,
Suff'ring my friend for my sake to approve her.

If I lose thee, my loss is my love's gain,
And losing her, my friend hath found that loss;
Both find each other, and I lose both twain,
And both for my sake lay on me this cross.

But here's the joy, my friend and I are one;
Sweet flattery! then she loves but me alone. ~ William Shakespeare