Emotional Abuse Quotes

There certainly are some women who treat their male partners badly, berating them, calling them names, attempting to control them. The negative impact on these men's lives can be considerable. But do we see men whose self-esteem is gradually destroyed through this process? Do we see men whose progress in school or in their careers grinds to a halt because of the constant criticism and undermining? Where are the men whose partners are forcing them to have unwanted sex? Where are the men who are fleeing to shelters in fear for their lives? How about the ones who try to get to a phone to call for help, but the women block their way or cut the line? The reason we don't generally see these men is simple: They're rare.
I don't question how embarrassing it would be for a man to come forward and admit that a woman is abusing him. But don't underestimate how humiliated a woman feels when she reveals abuse; women crave dignity just as much as men do. If shame stopped people from coming forward, no one would tell. ~ Lundy Bancroft

Though, the type of abuse differs from each individual, all survivors of child abuse deal with a certain extent of trauma, consciously or unconsciously. ~ Patricia Dsouza

The child turns up still trusting these lies to be the truth. ~ Patricia Dsouza

You are unique, special and exceptional as you have made it. ~ Patricia Dsouza

.....everything unexpectedly made sense as to where some of the traits passed on inside me came from. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Society must stop the silence and raise their voice to child sexual abuse. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Evidently, if support and care are devoted to an abused child at an early level of the occurrences, the long-lasting outcomes may be less cruel. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Abused children realize that they cannot rely on their emotions since their innocent love and trust are already crushed and betrayed. They learn that whatever the opinion they do express may be ignored or mocked. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny. ~ Ben Stein

Jo tried to think about her suspicion that Lynn liked her. She figured that Lynn was nice to her because she was a patient. Jo's mother had shown her what it meant to have a professional mask. The times Jo saw her mother at work in the lab, busy and efficient as she drew blood and marked vials. Nancy smiled warmly at the patients, ready with a sympathetic comment. If a patient or a doctor called Nancy at home, she immediately became the caring professional, no matter what had been happening before the phone rang. When Lynn hung up after an evening phone call from Missy, Jo suspected that Lynn resumed screaming at her husband or kids. ~ Joan Frances Casey

I thought that the world did not want me,
but the truth was that I did not want myself. ~ M.M. Van Der Reijden

Don't want your boyfriend to see you looking so glamorous?" He smiles and jabs me with ihs finger. He is looking at me strangely, as it to say, This is who you are. You've been pretending that you're someone else. Someone better. But you are just this. ~ Tara Westover

It is not the the bruises on the body that hurt. It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind. ~ Aisha Mirza

An emotionally abusive relationship, in very simplistic terms, is much like standing up in a too hot bath and sinking back in so as not to feel so dizzy. ~ Jackie Haze, Borderless

Do not become an accomplice by being silent, voice up! ~ Patricia Dsouza

My abuse will always be part of my memoirs, my past, my history, but will no longer be a front-page in my lifespan ~ Patricia Dsouza

While most people view physical violence as a more serious offense than psychological violence, both battered women and prisoners of war report that threat of physical violence is more psychologically debilitating than actual physical violence. Emotional abuse, such as the threat to maim or kill, is often perceived as a threat to physical survival. For these reasons, psychological violence may promote the development of the syndrome as much or more than physical violence. This makes sense. A person who threatens to shoot you may be the one knocking on your door, calling you on the phone, turning into your driveway, or waiting around the next corner. Every moment is filled with fear until you are finally shot. Once shot, you can relax because you now know where and how the shooting occurred, how seriously you were hurt, what you need to do to take care of the wound, etc. ~ Dee L.R. Graham

Whole night hanged with panic Sparking tears in those big wide eyes. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I believe we all heal differently, it is a process, and many like me are here to help you as you heal, as you recover. ~ Patricia Dsouza

You are full of empathy, kindness, and caring because you very well know the value of love. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Outside of my professional life, I have known many couples over the years who had passion and electricity between them and who treated each other well. But unfortunately there is wide acceptance in our society of the unhealthy notion that passion and aggression are interwoven and that cruel verbal exchanges and bomblike explosions are the price you pay for a relationship that is exciting, deep, and sexy. Popular romantic movies and soap operas sometimes reinforce this image. ~ Lundy Bancroft

Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take it's place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don't allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you. ~ Beverly Engel

Emotional incest is yet another form of emotional abuse. Emotional incest commonly involves the reversal of the parent/child roles. When this occurs, the mother or father "parentifies" the child who is then manipulated to gratify the unmet childhood needs of the parent. This typically manifests as the parent pumping the child for the unconditional love that she should herself be giving. ~ Pete Walker

Give yourself mourning time and comprehend that expressing grief can modify your emotional and physical well being ~ Patricia Dsouza

Over the years our research team has repeatedly found that chronic emotional abuse and neglect can be just as devastating as physical abuse and sexual molestation. ~ Bessel A. Van Der Kolk

.....you will examine yourself as a precious, loved, exceptional and uniquely crafted for a design and plan beyond your intellect. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Each person recovers at their own pace. Healing does not occur with a formula ~ Patricia Dsouza

The sole reason I stand to open it up now is that lots of people who are in pain just like I was, and when they see that there is still hope, they will discover that it is possible to come out of their prison. ~ Patricia Dsouza

The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as
obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more report that the man's emotional abuse is what is causing them the greatest harm. ~ Lundy Bancroft

As you recover, you will find yourself letting go of many of your negative beliefs. You will discover that many of the so-called truths you were raised with and forced to believe are not truths at all. With this perspective, you will come to see, for example, that the names you were called as a child are simply not true. You are not 'stupid,' 'lazy,' 'ugly,' or a 'liar'. You can discover just who you really are. You can let go of your pretenses and masks and discover who the real person is underneath. ~ Beverly Engel

No one can carry that pain out from you nor can anyone heal for you. ~ Patricia Dsouza

You hold the ability to choose to heal and to recuperate. This power is in your hand alone ~ Patricia Dsouza

When you feel at sea in an abyss of emotions, reconnecting to the beauty of your soul can be difficult, but it is never impossible. ~ Lorraine Nilon

Emotional abuse is like being continuously kicked in the shins. It can be worse than getting one punch in the face, and it cements itself. ~ Ashley Banjo

Invalidation is about dismissing your experiences, thoughts and above all your emotions. Indeed the intention is to not even allow you to have those thoughts, experiences and emotions. It‟s a way of invading your head and reprogramming it. It‟s psychological abuse (messing with your thoughts) and emotional abuse (messing with your feelings). ~ Danu Morrigan

Emotional abuse poisons a relationship and infuses it it with hostility, contempt, and hatred. No matter how much a couple once loved each other, once emotional abuse becomes a consistent aspect of the relationship, that love is overshadowed by fear, anger, guilt, and shame. Whether it is one or both partners who are being emotionally abusive, the relationship becomes increasingly more toxic as time goes by. In this polluted environment it is difficult for love not only to grow but to survive.

At the very least, emotional abuse causes both the abuser and the victim to lose sight of any redeeming qualitites his or her partner once had. The more a partner is allowed to degrade, criticize, or dominate her partner, the less she will respect her partner. And the more a partner is emotionally abused, the more he will slowly build up an intense hatred towards his abuser. The disrespect and hatred each partner begins to feel leads to more and more emotional abuse and to each partner justifying inappropriate, even destructive, behavior. Over time, anger can build up on the part of both abuser and victim, and emotional abuse can turn to physical violence. ~ Beverly Engel The Emotionally Abusive Relationship How To Stop Being Abused And How To Stop Abusing

There is an extra bit of sting when you remember how people you love and who love you can hurt you in ways neither of you can recognize until after the fact. ~ Keah Brown

Grieve out your betrayal, mourn over everything that went astray, this is an important beginning step towards your healing. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Creating chaos provides excitement for some people, especially those who are uneasy with silence, those who distract themselves from their own problems by focusing outward, those who feel empty inside and need to fill themselves up with activity, and those who were raised in an environment in which harmony and peace were unknown. ~ Beverly Engel

It is not okay for someone you like to treat you poorly and then pretend it didn't happen, making you question your own grasp on reality. This dynamic is called gaslighting. It's a common tactic of abusers to shift the focus of the blame from their bad behavior onto the person they are victimizing. One important side effect of gaslighting is having your memory "black out" after a fight (because your brain is trying to protect you from the cruelty of the abuse), which results in not being able to remember how an argument started. You may start to internalize the idea that there is something wrong with you and that you did something to provoke the situation as you're increasingly beaten down and confused. ~ Shannon Weber

More or less of these inner assets are still available within you to help you to not just live but to flourish. ~ Patricia Dsouza

In the tunnel where I was raped, a tunnel that was once an underground entry to an amphitheater, a place where actors burst forth from underneath the seats of a crowd, a girl had been murdered and dismembered. I was told this story by the police. In comparison, they said, I was lucky. ~ Alice Sebold

Neglect transpires when the accountable adult fails to provide sufficiently for the needs of a child. It may be deliberate and conscious cruelty, or it may be an incapability or unwillingness to care for and nurture a child. ~ Patricia Dsouza

We require to get out of our own built up Cocoons, these need to be worn, softened and freed through. ~ Patricia Dsouza

You possess the right to celebrate your victory, your healing, your recovery. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I am not damaged goods, I am not a product of my past. I am whole! ~ Patricia Dsouza

Loss of self-esteem Beverly Engel, in The Emotionally Abused Woman (1990), describes the effect of emotional abuse on self-esteem: Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be longer-lasting than physical ones. With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism, and accusations slowly eat away at the victim's self-esteem until she is incapable of judging the situation realistically. She has become so beaten down emotionally that she blames herself for the abuse. Emotional abuse victims can become so convinced that they are worthless that they believe that no one else could want them. They stay in abusive situations because they believe they have nowhere else to go. Their ultimate fear is being all alone. ~ Paul Mason

Love is intermittent reinforcement with spouses and children alike. The child is love-bombed when the narcissist feels the child reflects their false self. The moment the child fails to do so, the narcissistic parent blithely discards them. ~ M. Wakefield

I can't change the past abuse, but I can change the impact it has on me today! ~ Patricia Dsouza

Nevertheless, being weak or showing vulnerability is essentially a sign of inner strength. ~ Patricia Dsouza

We're strong for each other ! It's what women do!" said Zelda to Pearl
"He Counts Their Tears" by Mary Ann D'Alto ~ Mary Ann D'Alto

Sexual abuse is also a secret crime, one that usually has no witness. Shame and secrecy keep a child from talking to siblings about the abuse, even if all the children in a family are being sexually assaulted. In contrast, if a child is physically or emotionally abused, the abuse is likely to occur in front of the other children in the family, at least some of the time. The physical and emotional abuse becomes part of the family's explicit history. Sexual abuse does not. ~ Renee Fredrickson

Mostly, we have put on a brave face with a wide grin and went on with life, as best we could. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Scorned and torn, former love mates aim and shoot childish devastating daggers that penetrate beyond target to pierce the heart of their offspring. ~ T.F. Hodge

If you are told from the time you are one month that you're no good and you're not smart and you can't do it and you don't have an opinion of your own and you pick the wrong friends and you don't study the right way and you don't wear the right clothes and you don't look nice, at some point you're going to start believing it. And if you believe it, you're going to need a mommy to tell you what to do. And that's abuse. Not to let your child grow up to be an independent, respected human being. ~ Victoria Secunda

If you alter your behaviour because you are frightened of how your partner will react, you are being abused. ~ Sandra Horley

Some scars don't hurt. Some scars are numb. Some scars rid you of the capacity to feel anything ever again. ~ Joyce Rachelle

One researcher, J.P. Gump found that the most profound shame results from the destruction of your subjectivity when "what you need, what you desire, and what you feel are of complete and utter insignificance. ~ Pamela Newkirk

The Scriptures have been misused to defend bloody crusades and inquisitions; to support slavery, apartheid, and segregation; to sanction the physical and emotional abuse of women and children; to persecute Jews and other non-Christian people of faith; to support the holocaust of Hitler's Third Reich; to oppose medical science; to condemn inter-racial marriage; to execute women as witches; to excuse the violent racism of the Ku Klux Klan; to mobilize militias, white supremacy and neo-nazi movements; and to condone intolerance and discrimination against sexual minorities. ~ Mel White

Childhood abuse is the misuse of power and control which leads to wrong. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Playing the victim role: Manipulator portrays him- or herself as a victim of circumstance or of someone else's behavior in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy to play on sympathy to get cooperation. ~ George K. Simon

Life is really unpredictable. No matter what you serve or how hard you try you still cannot predict the future. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Some individuals have what can be considered to be an 'abusive personality.' Although they can be somewhat charming at times and sometimes manage to put on a false front in public when it is absolutely necessary, their basic personality is characterized by:
1.A need to dominate and control others
2.A tendency ~ Beverly Engel The Emotionally Abusive Relationship How To Stop Being Abused And How To Stop Abusing

Your thoughts are powerful and hold the power of life and death. Your thoughts trigger your emotions. Learn to tame your thoughts...do not let your thoughts tame you. Learn to tame your emotions...do not let your emotions tame you ~ Kemi Sogunle

To deny someone's feelings or experiences it to literally deny their reality. ~ Danu Morrigan

Insecurity has in most cases has nothing to do with the you...its to do with the other person and the voices in their head...if not put in check it can reach levels of paranoia,emotional abuse,obsessiveness,jealousy which is often miscontrued as LOVE...we see these signs from the onset,thats a woman intuition God blessed them with...
But they chose to ignore it and only realise when its a little late. ~ Dru Edmund Kucherera

You can do it because this time you will do it for yourself, for your inner existence. For that child who was not able to stand up, because no hand of rescue came on. ~ Patricia Dsouza

I had victory and knew I was going to be fine, no matter what was adding up in my direction. This forever kind of freedom is amazing. ~ Patricia Dsouza

When they begin to feel that others don't love them, they already consider their worth and consider that they are not worth living at all. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Your own story matters. It's either a victor's journey or a victim's lament. The decision is in your hands.
Exceptional ~ Patricia Dsouza

If the abuse has taken place for a really long period of time, it becomes more and tougher and challenging as well. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Emotional abuse is designed to undermine another's sense of self.
It is deliberate humiliation, with the intent to seize control of how others feel about themselves. ~ Lorraine Nilon

I was worthy of healing my scars and so are you. ~ Patricia Dsouza

It wasn't some mysterious adverse personality trait that comprises of who I am, it unquestionably had a source - A cradle of years of unprocessed trauma owing to sexual, emotional, mental, verbal and physical ill-treatment. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Abused as we abuse it at present, dramatic art is in no sense cathartic; it is merely a form of emotional masturbation ... ~ Aldous Huxley

Do not let your voice disappear! Protect our children from the predators of our society. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Emotional abuse can pose a threat to a person's psychological survival, particularly if that person is a child and if the emotional abuse is chronic and severe. Threat of abandonment is experienced by some as a threat to physical and/or psychological survival. This is particularly so if the victim is dependent on the person threatening abandonment, as a child may be. Incest is a form of physical and emotional abuse that threatens a child's psychological survival and sometimes even her or his physical survival. Extreme sexual or emotional abuse may produce fragmentation of identity, as in multiple personality, or psychic annihilation, as in psychosis. Threat to psychological survival can also occur, for example, when someone threatens to kill your children, when someone continues to sexually abuse your children and there is nothing you can do to stop it, or when someone prevents you from seeing your children. ~ Dee L.R. Graham

The central attitudes driving Mr. Right are:
You should be in awe of my intelligence and should look up to me intellectually. I know better than you do, even about what's good for you.
Your opinions aren't worth listening to carefully or taking seriously.
The fact that you sometimes disagree with me shows how sloppy your thinking is.
If you would just accept that I know what's right, our relationship would go much better. Your own life would go better, too.
When you disagree with me about something, no matter how respectfully or meekly, that's mistreatment of me.
If I put you down for long enough, some day you'll see. ~ Lundy Bancroft

You hold the ability to build it or ruin it. It's entirely up to you. It's definitely possible. ~ Patricia Dsouza

There are many types of emotional abuse but most is done in an attempt to control or subjugate another person. Emotional abuse is like brainwashing in that it systematically wears away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self, trust in her perceptions and self-concept. ~ Beverly Engel

You pulled through it, you are not just a survivor, but a Victor. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Mia bottled all this up inside of her and just couldn't manage it any longer. Mia would feel like it was entirely her fault, what he did stay with her always. ~ Patricia Dsouza

If unloving mothers were able to see their behavious as abusive, they either would stop behaving that way or they would get help for their dysfunction. But many cannot: instead, they deny it, to themselves, their families, and the world at large, in order to avoid a sense of guilt, to avoid having to make changes in their lives, or to avoid the bruising awareness that they, too, were unloved children. ~ Victoria Secunda

Are you attentive when your inner self-speaks to you? ~ Patricia Dsouza

If someone is inconsiderate or rude to you, risk telling them how it made you feel or that you didn't appreciate being treated that way. If you tend to talk yourself out of anger by telling yourself that you don't want to make waves, try telling yourself instead that it is okay to make waves sometimes and risk letting people know how you really feel. ~ Beverly Engel

A victorious person knows to own his failure, he is aware how to bring out good, even in the worst form of failures. ~ Patricia Dsouza

a mind is only as limited
as it's capacity to
embrace his greatest enemy ~ M.M. Van Der Reijden

Add to your self-esteem by coming out in the open and speaking about what you went though. ~ Patricia Dsouza

To a narrative therapist, there are few interactions between couples that are not influenced by patriarchy. If there is an abuse of power in a relationship, a narrative therapist would view the responsibility for the abuse of power as lying in the hands of the person abusing the power. A narrative approach would invite the abuser to Recognize the abuse as abuse. Position himself against it. Accept total responsibility for stopping it. ~ Patricia Evans

People say you need to be strong, smart, and lucky to survive hard times, war, a natural disaster, or physical torture. But I say emotional abuse - anxiety, fear, guilt, and degradation - is far worse and much harder to survive. ~ Lisa See

Perhaps you expected to feel great as soon as you escaped your abuser, and maybe you did feel a great sense of relief for a while. However, as time has passed, you may be dismayed by the extent of your emotional pain. ~ Caroline Abbott

About the expression "Hurt people, hurt people".. Hurt people are not going to stop HURTING other people until they receive the memo that it is WRONG, (or if there are actual consequences for their behaviour.) Feeling sorry for them and understanding where they 'came from' is not helping to stop the cycle of abuse. ~ Darlene Ouimet

My mother's mouth drops. 'Emmy...don't say those things Emmy. Remember, we don't talk about those things.'

'Yes Mom. I remember. That's why I'm here, looking like this.'

An orderly knocks on the door and announces that visiting time is over.

My mother and I look at each other awkwardly, and hug.

'I love you,' she says.

'I love you too, Mom.'

'You aren't telling them too much are you?' she asks, afraid.

I sign. 'No Mommy, I'm not.'

She's visibly relieved. She leaves the room.

The orderley comes back and escorts me back into the main room.

I just sit and laugh to myself."

(after Emmy's suicide attempt) ~ The Finer Points of Becoming Machine ~ Emily Andrews

Abuse if you slight it, will gradually die away; but if you show yourself irritated, you will be thought to have deserved it. ~ Tacitus

10 facts about abusive relationships (what i wish i'd known)

1. it's not always loud. it's not always obvious. the poison doesn't always hit you like a gunshot. sometimes, it seeps in quietly, slowly. sometimes, you don't even know it was ever there until months after.
2. love is not draining. love is not tiring. this is not how it is supposed to be.
3. apologies are like band-aids, when what you really need is stitches– they don't actually fix anything long-term. soon enough, you'll be bleeding again, but they will never give you what you really need.
4. this is not your fault. you did not turn them into this. this is how they are, how they've always been. you can't blame yourself.
5. there will be less good days than bad days but the good days will be so amazing that it will feel like everything is better than it actually is. your mind is playing tricks on itself and your heart is trying to convince itself that it made the right choice.
6. they do not love you. they can not love you. this is not love.
7. you're not wrong for wanting to run, so do it. listen to what your gut is telling you.
8. you will let them come back again and again before you realize that they only change long enough for you to let them in one more time.
9. it's okay to be selfish and leave. there is never any crime in putting yourself first. when they tell you otherwise, don't believe them. don't let them tear you down. they want to knock you off your ~ Catarine Hancock

Hit me but do not wound my emotion, the pain of body will terminate, but the wound of emotion will be painful. ~ Kamaran Ihsan Salih

You may never be able to keep up with someone else's steps, either you may end up being far behind or far gone. Pick your path, not someone else's ~ Patricia Dsouza

Andrew was right. We probably wouldn't have any problems if I didn't go out of my way to create them. ~ Alicia Thompson

You may not succeed at first or not always, but you will definitely find ways that don't contribute towards your journey and you will know not to take that road the next time. ~ Patricia Dsouza

Yes, you deserved a better childhood, but as a survivor of abuse, you certainly deserve a blissful life. ~ Patricia Dsouza