Undead Quotes

When you encounter unpleasantness from the human population, try to keep in mind that you will be able to dance on their graves long after they're dead. It's a cheering thought. - from The Guide for the Newly Undead. ~ Molly Harper

IMO, the only zombie antho that comes close to BOOK OF THE DEAD would be THE UNDEAD 2: SKIN & BONES. ~ Jan Berenstain

Take off your undead blinders and open your dismembered arms to progress. Fast zombies are scarier, plain and simple! ~ Greg McCabe

It became a domino effect, as infected people took foolish risks, knowing full well they could spread the virus. ~ Jason Medina

silence falls. i open my eyes and ready myself to move, glancing down at me feet bridging the toilet bowl. it's gross that i haven't been able to flush, but if it's yellow, let it mellow...and run like hell-o. i have to make a move for the door, and fast--undead Kirsty Mckay ~ Kirsty McKay

I will not negotiate with the undead! ~ David Wellington

Aramis liked the t-shirt he was given because it had the image of the Grim Reaper on it. He liked the irony, since the Grim Reaper took lives, while he was a saver of lives. ~ Jason Medina

Other people spoke, and I tried to keep up with the translations. All the stories were about Dimitri's kindness and strength of character. Even when not out battling the undead, Dimitri had always been there to help those who needed it. Almost everyone could recall sometime that Dimitri had stepped up to help others, going out of his way to do what was right, even in situations that could put him at risk. That was no surprise to me. Dimitri always did the right thing.
And it was that attitude that had made me love him so much. I had a similar nature. I too rushed in when others needed me, sometimes when I shouldn't have. Others called me crazy for it, but Dimitri had understood. He'd always understood me, and part of what we'd worked on was how to temper that impulsive need to run into danger with reason and calculation. I had a feeling no one else in this world would ever understand me like he did. ~ Richelle Mead

We are aberrations - beings born undead, neither one thing nor another, or two things at once ... uncanny things that have nothing to do with the rest of creation, horrors that poison the world by sowing our madness everywhere we go, glutting daylight and darkness with incorporeal obscenities. From across an immeasurable divide, we brought the supernatural into all that is manifest. Like a faint haze it floats around us. We keep company with ghosts. Their graves are marked in our minds, and they will never be disinterred from the cemeteries of our remembrance. Our heartbeats are numbered, our steps counted. Even as we survive and reproduce, we know ourselves to be dying in a dark corner of infinity. Wherever we go, we know not what expects our arrival but only that it is there. ~ Thomas Ligotti

It is a plague of unprecedented proportions. Anyone, who is unfortunate enough to become infected by its deadly parasites, is transformed into a mindless carrier with an inane desire to feed and spread the virus to other potential hosts. Even death is no escape. ~ Jason Medina

Never before did the second amendment mean so much to the people of the United States. There were many well-regulated militias that became necessary for the security of every state, which meant the right of the people to keep and bear arms was detrimental for their survival and that right should not be infringed. Otherwise, the strong would surely overpower the weak. ~ Jason Medina

I've got a chainsaw with my name on it in my workshop," Milo told us happily. "If I'm ever killed by undead, I want you guys to chop me up with it. It's a good chainsaw."
"I reckon it is, Milo. I would be honored to chop your head off," Sam said. ~ Larry Correia

Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies. ~ David Wong

I just wanted to say that it's okay if you dislike me. If you make Clary happy, I'm fine with you." He stuck his hand out, and Jace took his own hand out of Clary's and shook Simon's, a bemused look on his face.
"I don't dislike you," he said. "In fact, because I actually do like you, I'm going to offer you some advice."
"Advice?" Simon looked wary.
"I see that you are working this vampire angle with some success," Jace said, indicating Isabelle and Maia with a nod of his head. "And kudos. Lots of girls love that sensitive-undead thing. But I'd drop the whole musician angle if I were you. Vampire rock stars are played out, and besides, you can't possibly be very good."
Simon sighed. "I don't suppose there's any change you could reconsider the part where you didn't like me?"
"Enough, both of you," Clary said. "You can't be complete jerks to each other forever, you know."
"Technically," said Simon, "I can."
Jace made an inelegant noise; after a moment Clary realized that he was trying not to laugh, and only semi-succeeding.
Simon grinned. "Got you."
"Well," Clary said. "This is a beautiful moment. ~ Cassandra Clare

Goodwill to all.' I know it's techinically 'goodwill to all men,' but in my mind, I drop the 'men' because that feels segregationist/elitist/sexist/generally bad ist. Goodwill shouldn't be just for men. It should also apply to women and children, and all animals, even the yucky ones like subway rats. I'd even extend the goodwill not just to living creatures but to the dearly departed, and if we include them, we might as well include the undead, those supposedly mythic beings like vampires, and if they're in, then so are elves, fairies, and gnomes. Heck, since we're already being so generous in our big group hug, why not also embrace those supposedly inanimate objects like dolls and stuffed animals. I'm sure Santa would agree. 'Goodwill to all. ~ Rachel Cohn

Zombies have no memories of their former life. You wont see the undead trying to wash windows or do your taxes. All they know how to do is swarm and feed. ~ Max Brooks

To think that she had read the same elegiac prose he now beheld with such quiet awe made his heart sing. ~ David S.E. Zapanta

Get you dead ass out of the sarcophagus and follow along," Tern muttered. "And no yelling for guards, and no continuing forward when we stop and then stomping all over us and crushing our spines and skulls under your undead feet because we didn't explicitly tell you not to do that. ~ Patrick Weekes

Depending on which frothy-mouthed Internet pulpit-beater I chose to believe, Holzter Point might conceal anything from alien artifacts to Bigfoot's sperm samples, plus a few pickled flipper babies from Three Mile Island and Jimmy Hoffa's stomach contents. I'd like to make fun of those guys, but I had information from a blind vampire that the storage facility held details of medical experiments conducted by the military on the unwilling undead. So far be it from me to call anyone nuts. ~ Cherie Priest

It was hard to believe it had finally come down to the nuking of New York City. A virus had managed to bring about what decades of the Cold War and terrorist threats could not accomplish. The United States would never be the same. A major city had been destroyed. Millions were dead. ~ Jason Medina

I promise I won't let anything happen to either of you. Not while I'm still breathing. ~ Jason Medina

He had the look of death in his eyes. ~ Jason Medina

Call it one of my many useful skills and let's leave it at that. ~ Jason Medina

A dozen cobras moved as one, shattering their bottles. Wine and glass sprayed the room. The snakes sprang for Isyllt's attacker with fangs unfolded. He screamed high and sharp as they uncoiled, long slick bodies whipping through the air. She wasn't sure if their venom could survive death and pickling, but it didn't seem to matter. After several bites, he curled on the floor, weeping and trying to bat the undead snakes away. ~ Amanda Downum

He began to feel overwhelmingly guilty for still being alive, while others continued to die around him. ~ Jason Medina

Don't judge me. Ethics and morality no longer exist in our world. It's a luxury of the past, afforded only to those who had a future. ~ T.M. Williams

It seemed time flies when you aren't having fun. ~ Jason Medina

Are you a human yourself?"

No.

"Are you one of the following: leper, witch or cultist, undead, werewolf, mutant, bureaucrat, bard? ~ Juho Pohjalainen

Y'know, if I was a sexy type of undead, like a vampire or something, I'm sure I'd have some kind of supernatural power to bring any guy I liked under my charismatic control.
Best I can hope for is to decompose over someone's shoes. How romantic. ~ Justin MacCormack

Susan, you were a mighty fine woman when you were alive and all, but personally I'd rather be gang-raped by giant, rabid, syphilitic porcupines, than join your shithead, hippie-commune, undead family, you scrawny-ass, vampire skank whore. ~ Larry Correia

Kieran, can you make a run for it with Lucy?" Nicholas asked. "'You can take one of the Jeeps," he added as Logan tossed Kieran his keys.
"I'm not leaving you guys," I sputtered. "When did you fall and hit your head?"
"Lucy, you're out of arrows and we're out of options." He darted a quick glance at Quinn, who was behind me.
I grabbed a fistful of Nicholas's shirt. "I'm not leaving you, you big dumb idiot." I whipped my head around and shot Quinn a glare. "Take one more step. I dare you." I knew full well he'd planned to sneak up on me and toss me over his shoulder. He paused, knowing equally well that I'd damage him if he tried.
He did it anyway.
I was suddenly airborne and then draped over his shoulder, which dug painfully under my ribs. "It's just faster this way," he said.
I shifted, cursing. "Put me down, you undead asshat."
"Just trying to save your ungrateful life," he shot back with grim cheer. I punched him right in the ass since I couldn't reach any other part of him. ~ Alyxandra Harvey

You've reached Fangtasia, where the undead live again every night ... For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to a live person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you.
-Pam ~ Charlaine Harris

The brain may die, but my compulsion for useless trivia lives on. ~ Molly Harper

She tried to pretend things were normal and imagined that they could have a regular courtship with dating, holding hands, walks through Untermyer Park, romantic candlelit dinners, movie dates, and trips to exotic locales. If only life could be that way, but it wasn't. ~ Jason Medina

Let's learn to play nice, so we can get out of here, together. I don't have the patience to baby-sit you guys. ~ Jason Medina

Wake up and smell the shit, folks. This is our reality, now. Things will not be going back to normal. We'll be lucky, if they don't get worse too soon. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? I think it's better to be safe than sorry, but if you want to go home, be my guest. No one is going to stop you. ~ Jason Medina

Suspicion infused Alex's voice. "Okay? That's it?"
I looked back at him and smiled. "That's it. We disagree. It's done. We'll deal with whatever comes next."
He stood up, brows lowered over squinty eyes. "Did Lafitte ply you with brandy, or have the body snatchers been here? ~ Suzanne Johnson

Outbreak or no outbreak, we're being overrun by crazies. ~ Jason Medina

There's a ghost in this house! An unquiet spirit!"
Unquiet spirit?" Shane said under his breath. "Is that politically correct for pissed off? You know, like Undead American or something? ~ Rachel Caine

Come now, I was not about to let that thing eat you. ~ Stacy Buck

Junk food nurtures the spirit. I think there's scientific research to prove it. ~ Suzanne Johnson

We are built from broken parts ~ Hollywood Undead

Warren could see humans further up the street, that had appeared to be dead, now rising to their feet and swaying drunkenly. One man had a huge chunk of flesh bitten from his face and another from his neck, yet he moved forward even though he appeared to be in enormous pain. Many of the newly changed screamed and contorted their limbs and faces in anguish. They moaned in pain almost continuously. ~ Joseph M. Chiron

It's a shame you're going to the ball. I will be all alone in my big house. It seems a shame to waste it – after all, if the undead are going to kill me, I'd hate to die a spinster and a virgin. ~ Michelle Smart

They held each other tight and cried, while a dozen infected took turns tearing into their warm flesh. ~ Jason Medina

There are certain words that should never be spoken, names that should never be used. Old things. Undead things. ~ Michael Scott

No. Not my circus, not my undead monkeys. ~ Ilona Andrews

He'd trade anything to be back there in the past, rather than to deal with what was going on in the present. ~ Jason Medina

It happened so fast. No one had time to do anything, but watch. ~ Jason Medina

Who the hell would attack the Steel Horse anyway? What was the thinking behind that? Here is a bar full of psychotic killers who grow giant claws and people who pilot the undead for a living. I think I'll go wreck the place. ~ Ilona Andrews

Derek favored his left side. His horse refused to bear him. I couldn't blame the horse. I wouldn't want his demonic, undead-blood-smeared, wolf-smelling ass riding me, either. But it made us slow. ~ Ilona Andrews

Thank you for asking. Of course one wishes to break down on a heart-shaped sofa and week into one's lace handkerchief, but I am somehow managing to hold it together. After all, I still have a warlock contact."
Magnus inclined his head with a slight smile.
"Tessa Gray," said Raphael. "Very dignified lady. Very well-read. I think you know her?"
Magnus made a face at him. "It's not being a sass-monkey that I object to. That I like. It's the joyless attitude. One of the chief pleasures of life is mocking others, so occasionally show some glee about doing it. Have some joie de vivre."
"I'm undead," said Raphael.
"What about joie de unvivre?"
Raphael eyed him coldly. Magnus gestured his own question aside, his rings and trails of leftover magic leaving a sweep of leftover magic leaving a sweep of sparks in the night air, and sighed.
"Tessa," Magnus said with a long exhale. "She is a harbinger of ill news and I will be annoyed with her for dumping this problem in my lap for weeks. At least."
"What problem? Are you in trouble?" asked Raphael.
"Nothing I can't handle," said Magnus.
"Pity," said Raphael. "I was planning to point and laugh. Well, time to go. I'd say good luck with your dead-body bad-news thing, but ... I don't care."
"Take care of yourself, Raphael," said Magnus.
Raphael waved a dismissive hand over his shoulder. "I always do. ~ Cassandra Clare

He pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. There was a pile of mail waiting on the floor, which made him chuckle. The last memories of normal life, he thought. He picked up his mail and tossed it into the garbage. ~ Jason Medina

I wouldn't want his demonic, undead-blood-smeared, wolf-smelling ass riding me either. ~ Ilona Andrews

A cross between two species. Doomed with the thirst of the undead for human blood, yet tormented by the gargoyle drive to protect them. ~ Lisa Carlisle

I would say Randolph's a horse's ass, but that would be unfair to the horse. ~ Suzanne Johnson

Why is it," Mappo asked, "that Master Quell seemed indifferent to unleashing an undead dragon into this world?"

"Well, hardly indifferent. He said 'oops!' At least, I think that's what I heard, but perhaps that was but my imagination. ~ Steven Erikson

What is it like ... what is it like to be dead?' Evan looked at him with his dull, unblinking blue eyes, ' I don't know, what is it like ... to be alive? ~ Daniel Waters

Came back to life? I don't know," he said. "Smells more like death to me. ~ Jason Medina

Better undead than dead. ~ Lisa Carlisle

We're not a people worth saving, plain and simple. We're completely beyond that - both the undead and the few still living. Yeah, 'living.' Some life, huh? But it's the only life we could ever possibly live if we want to stay alive another day. It's our life that terrifies me. ~ Bryant A. Loney

I know it's technically goodwill to all men, but in my mind, I drop the men because that feels segregationist/elitist/sexist/generally bad ist.
Goodwill shouldn't be just for men. It should also apply to women and children, and all animals, even the yucky ones like subway rats. I'd even
extend the goodwill not just to living creatures but to the dearly departed, and if we include them, we might as well include the undead, those
supposedly mythic beings like vampires, and if they're in, then so are elves, fairies, and gnomes. Heck, since we're already being so generous in our
big group hug, why not also embrace those supposedly inanimate objects like dolls and stu ~ Rachel Cohn

You're one of us! We are a team. It doesn't matter if you are living or undead, you will always be one of us ~ James Ponti

When you're undead, the emphasis is on the second syllable. ~ Peter Watts

In just a week, he'd taught her so much. That good, honorable men like him stayed the same after death. That she'd existed for too long with only hatred and revenge in her heart. Love was a much nobler cause to live for. Love didn't follow its own selfish agenda; it was willing to make sacrifices for others. How strange that it took an undead man to show her how to live. ~ Kerrelyn Sparks

I'm bent I'm not brokin'. I'm on my knees and I'm hoping that some one holds me tonight. ~ Hollywood Undead

We create ourselves to be almost blind walking dead, where we are led by both negative aspects of religion and cultural conformity to gloss over people. We gloss over the Armenian genocide in the Ottoman Empire. We gloss over the Japanese internment camps that most likely would have been far worse had the war continued longer. We often marginalize those besides the ethnic and Jewish descent that died in the Nazi holocaust of World war II. ~ L.B. Ó Ceallaigh

Are you suggesting I'm working with the
zombies? That I paid them to pretend to
attack me so that I'd trick you into letting me join you?""Did you?" Mr. Holland demanded."Yeah, okay," I said in a sugar-sweet tone. "You're right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steaks, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for you I promised him I wouldn't tell. In exchange I asked him to gather his
best undead buddies and stalk me through
my friend's yard. And oh, yeah, it was
totally fine if they wanted to use me as an all-night dinner buffet, because having organs is so last season. ~ Gena Showalter

I saw a bear once. I was peeing then, too. ~ Kirsty McKay

Some of the vamps formed into smaller groups, to chat or plot or whatever vamps did at undead nonfunerals. Oddly, they talked about the stock market and the latest flare-up in the Middle East, like any well-educated group of humans. It was almost as disorienting as hearing them quote Jesus. Then, ~ Faith Hunter

The monkey didn't help matters any. He was sitting on top of the microbus, just watching the undead plunge to their end. His face appeared so serene, so intelligent, as if he truly understood the situation. I almost wanted him to turn to me and say, 'This is the turning point of the war! We've finally stopped them! We're finally safe!' But instead his little penis popped out and he peed in my face. ~ Max Brooks

Tod laughed. He was always able to find the humour in even the creepiest situations. I'd thought that it was an undead thing, until I became a member of the undead. Then I realized it was a Tod-thing. ~ Rachel Vincent

Merrie Destefano storms the world of urban fantasy with AFTERLIFE, breathing new life into the vast genre of the undead. Gritty, poignant, in the tradition of Bladerunner, with the nostalgia of New Orleans. With crisp and beautiful prose, AFTERLIFE blurs the line between the living and the dead to ask life's ultimate questions-even if they take nine lives to solve. ~ Tosca Lee

There were too many infected running around. Some looked as if they were dead already, but still they stumbled around like heroine addicts. Those ones did not move as fast as the newly infected, who were actually capable of running like a perfectly healthy person. They were the scary ones to worry about. All it took was one bite to ruin your day. ~ Jason Medina

Give them another five minutes or so. I mean, it is the Zombie Apocalypse out there and they had to go across town twice making detours, just like when we came here. ~ Jason Medina

Often, a school is your best bet-perhaps not for education but certainly for protection from an undead attack. ~ Max Brooks

The truth is: nobody bothers to kill poets in America. It's enough to buy them in universities. Undead. ~ Erica Jong

You stole from a member of the undead ~ Darren Shan

Rynn Cormel had run the world during the Turn, his living charisma somehow crossing the boundaries of death to give his undead existence an uncanny mimicry of life. Every move was a careful study of causality. It was highly unusual for so young an undead vampire to be so good at mimicking having a soul. I figured it was because he was a politician and had had practice way before he died. ~ Kim Harrison

I said to him, "State your business, mortal!" There was no need for me to call him "mortal" or to speak like a sixteenth-century knight. It just sounded cool. ~ Alan Goldsher

Shouldn't that be flipped right-side up?" I asked.
"No," she said, eyes on the cards. After several moments of heavy silence, said, "You will destroy that which is undead."
I waited about thirty seconds for her to continue, but she didn't. "Wait, that's it?"
She nodded. "That's what the cards say to me. ~ Richelle Mead

There was a bounty on my head, it was four days before Christmas, and I was having turtle gumbo with a merman, an undead pirate king, two loups-garou, and my best friend - a human pregnant with the half-elven child who had unknowingly helped set this whole debacle in motion. Plus a newbie vampire who didn't like the smell of food anymore. ~ Suzanne Johnson

Not all librarians are evil cultists. Some librarians are instead vengeful undead who want to suck your soul. ~ Brandon Sanderson

Mom. I have something to tell you. I'm undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I'm here to tell you that undead are just like you and me ... well, okay. Possibly more like me than you. ~ Cassandra Clare

In my body's effort to conserve itself, rather than attempt any movement outside, I have begun eating more sugar than is good for me. Sugar, while a comfort to many, is a detriment to those with my various physical complaints, and even a spoonful could plunge me into violent agony. It is a pleasurable agony, at least, and in my depression and desperation to have anything that resembled nutrition, I ate half a jar of chocolate spread. I know I should not buy these things. I seldom give in to such cibarious cagmaggery, even when it is On Sale, but when summer is imminent, I will do anything to feel better, including eat something that will make me regret my folly.

I am currently crippled on the floor and awaiting death, or I am lately dead and have taught my undead form to use a keyboard, I cannot tell which. I am no longer hot, however, and there is some comfort, whether I am dead or alive. I would rather be alive, I think, if only to buy more chocolate spread. ~ Michelle Franklin

I'd just learned an important lesson. The undead weren't the only things that could kill me. Accidents, disease, hunger - all the normal causes of death - were just lurking in the shadows, waiting for their chance. If I weren't careful, they'd catch me. I'd only been thinking about my stalkers. I'd forgotten something very basic: man is a fragile being. ~ Manel Loureiro

Who can really say what they would do in that kind of situation without ever being in it? ~ Jason Medina

There are probably more of us. If we're all zombies, then
there's got to be more. I say we go up to the cemetery and find out."
"Can we get soda on the way?"
Nothing washes down brains better than a can of Coca Cola and a little shameless product placement. (Hey, the undead do have an image problem.)
"Soda and cemeteries! Soda and cemeteries!" they chanted. "And braaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiins!"
"Hey Bernie, you're getting pretty good at that."
"Okay, you try."
"Braaa - " the zombie belched, " - aiiinsss."
Earl heaved the coroner's body out of the way. They headed off for the cemetery, each trying furiously to perfect their own, unique and personal call for brains like an undead choir, out of tune.
"Braaaaiiiiins!" "Braaiiiiiiiinns!" "Braaaaaaaaaains!" "Bray-uns."
"That was just awful." ...Away into the night. ~ Daniel Younger

Hauntingly active as they share space with the living, the dead refuse to give up their undead residency. ~ Pamela K. Kinney

I'm Level Eighty on Warcraft."
The clerk was stunned. "You're Level Eighty?! Are you Horde, or Alliance?"
"What, are you kidding me? I'm Horde, of course! I'm a Level Eighty Undead Priestess. What Guild are you in?"
"I'm a Horde Blood Elf Paladin. Level 30. I'm in the Blood Roses Guild."
"Have you ever seen a 'Spectral Tiger' loot card? I bet you never have."
The museum clerk thought about her situation. The psychic pressure was mounting on her. She was in a state of moral anguish. "Look, Signora, I'd love to help your American clients there ... But if my director knew I was Warcrafting here at work, she'd kill me! Besides, you don't have any 'Spectral Tiger' in your purse, I bet. ~ Bruce Sterling

I see that you are working this vampire angle with some success. And kudos. Lots of girls love that sensitive-undead thing. But I'd drop the whole musician angle if I were you. Vampire rock stars are played out, and besides, you can't possible be very good. ~ Cassandra Clare

The undead airport has its own crowds but no real activity. We don't do things; we wait for things to happen. ~ Isaac Marion

Chief Johnson has full faith on us. Which means if I can complete this task and hunt down the murderer, not only does the chief won't feel any uncertainty on Anthony and I, but the spirits of the victims can move on. It sounds silly to believe that the undead is still around, but it is the truth. And since I have a good heart, I must use it. ~ Simi Sunny

I suppose I knew on an intellectual level that graves weren't especially made for getting out of. I mean, you start with a hermetically sealed casket and then you dump six feet of dirt on top of it. Over time the earth gets compacted, which can't make it easy to dig through. So even if you're a very angry and determined zombie, you've kind of got your work cut out for you just escaping from the grave.
Which was, I suppose, why we got hit with an initial wave of zombie bugs, birds and rodents. I bet some people would say if you've never picked undead mosquitoes out of your teeth, you've never lived. Under that definition, I'd be just as happy to have not lived, thanks. ~ C.E. Murphy

When you open the door, shoot anything that moves. ~ Jason Medina

What's the difference between an undead and my last boyfriend? One is a soul-sucking beast from hell and the other is an undead. ~ Libba Bray

Sure. But if an undead creature or whatever comes out to eat our brains or suck out our blood, don't blame me. ~ Mark Alders

Time is the only constant. For the living it never stops ... For the dead it doesn't matter ... And for the undead? For the undead, time is a joke to be laughed at! ~ Scott Snyder

The undead did not love, but they remembered love with a savage loyalty. ~ Kim Harrison

You had me at 'blood allergy. ~ David S.E. Zapanta