Yo Mama Quotes

Then he gave a sad little smile. "Yo Mama better watch his back," he said. ~ Gayle Forman

Yo mama so stupid, she watches Fox News and voted for Trump. ~ Oliver Markus Malloy

Yo mama is so fat that she left the house in high heels and came back wearing flip flops. ~ Mature Jokemaker Jr.

If I were a bad black comic I would name my special, Yo mama, and other stories of a lack of self awareness. ~ Dov Davidoff

What happened next, I would never have been able to predict. But it happened.

We both went "OOOOOOOOH" at the bullshit that came out of his mouth like we were in fifth grade and had made a really good "yo mama" joke.

We went "OOOOOOOOH" so deep and into it, totally unexpected, that it lasted maybe three seconds before we both burst out laughing, my head crying no at the movement and my back aching, but I did it anyway. ~ Mariana Zapata

yo mama so fat when she walked by the t.v. I missed three episodes!


sincerely,
yo daddi ~ Jolie Baker

Yo mama so ugly even Hello Kitty said good bye. ~ Jess Franken

Osama, yo Mama didn't raise you right. When you were young, she must have wrapped your turban too tight. ~ Ray Stevens

It's uh known fact ... you got tuh go there tuh know there. Yo' papa and yo' mama and nobody else can't tell yuh and show yuh. ~ Zora Neale Hurston

He leans over and snarls, "Yo' mama."
I grin. "She's yo' mama too, and I'm telling her you said that."
He opens up his arms, taunting me, "Do it. I'll tell her the real story about the dried basil leaves in your sock drawer."
The motherfucker. "It was yours! I was hiding it for you!"
He shrugs. "She don't know that. ~ Belle Aurora

Most Russian girls usually only go in for Platonic attachments with never a thought of marriage. And Platonic love is the most troublesome sort. The princess, I fancy, is one of those women
who want to be amused, and two dull minutes with you will finish you for good. Your silence must rouse her curiosity, on conversation must leave her wanting more. You've got to play on her feelings all the time. She'll scorn public opinion a dozen times for your sake and call it a sacrifice, but she'll get her own back by
tormenting you, and then later simply declare that she can't stand you. If you don't get the upper hand, her first kiss won't give you the right to expect a second. She'll play with you till she's tired of it, then a couple of years later she'll marry some brute out of duty to Mama and persuade herself she's unhappy, because it was not heaven's will to unite her with the only man she ever loved (you that is) on account of his private's greatcoat, though under that thick grey coat there beat an ardent, noble heart.. ~ Mikhail Lermontov

How that is so I don't know. How Mama and Daddy know me sixteen years and hate me, how a stranger meet me and love me. (131) ~ Sapphire.

Every song I've ever written has been based in reality, based in fact, things that happen to me. ~ Ne-Yo

Mama Agba says you've chosen me. Baba agrees, but I … I'm scared. This is too important. I don't want to screw it up. ~ Tomi Adeyemi

I used to watch the stallions leaping the mares."
"You what!" Hew almost choked.
"Well, how else is a girl with no mother supposed to get any education? Although I doubt Mama would have told me very much. So there's really no reason to be timid, Hew. I already know all about the mating process. And to the best of my knowledge, the stallions never 'ignored it until it went away. ~ Victoria Vane

I'll do it. I said I would. And, though I can't deny I've never thought of doing something like that, it appeals to me simply because yo want it so badly. I can't seem to help myself. I want to please you. I love to please you. ~ R.K. Lilley

Growing up spoiled a lot of things. It spoiled the nice game they had when there was nothing to eat in the house. When money gave out and food ran low, Katie and the children pretended they were explorers discovering the North Pole and had been trapped by a blizzard in a cave with just a little food. They had to make it last till help came. Mama divided up what food there was in the cupboard and called it rations and when the children were still hungry after a meal, she'd say, 'Courage, my men, help will come soon.' When some money came in and Mama bought a lot of groceries, she bought a little cake as celebration, and she'd stick a penny flag in it and say, 'We made it, men. We got to the North Pole.'
One day after one of the 'rescues' Francie asked Mama:
'When explorers get hungry and suffer like that, it's for a reason . Something big comes out of it. They discover the North Pole. But what big things comes out of us being hungry like that?'
Katie looked tired all of a sudden. She said something Francie didn't understand at the time. She said, 'You found the catch in it. ~ Betty Smith

God's the seamtress that tailor-fitted my pain yo I got scriptures in my brain I can spit at yo dane straight the good book, look, niggas is shook 50 fear no man, warrior swing swords like conana ~ Curtis Jackson

Mama, humanity is my business. ~ Philip Zimbardo

Standing beside her grandmother's deathbed, woolen dress still smelling of black logwood dye, Ade had felt the way a sapling might as it watched one of the old forest giants come crashing magnificently to rest: awed, and perhaps a little frightened. But when Mama Larson's final breath rattled from her ribs, Ade discovered the same thing the young sapling would have: in the absence of the old tree, there was a hole in the canopy above her. ~ Alix E. Harrow

Mama Ginger came calling, to set the alarm on my biological clock. Oh, and to remind me that there's no point to me being a woman if I never have children."
"Well, if that's true, I wasted a hell of a lot of money on panty hose and lipstick." Jettie snorted. ~ Molly Harper

You must go back to bed."
"No," I shouted. "Not yet! I have to finish this game." I couldn't leave Andrew, not now, not when I was finally winning.
Hannah released me so suddenly I staggered backward. "I'll fetch Papa!" she cried.
Andrew threw himself at her. "Hannah, stop, you're ruining everything!"
I grabbed his arm. "Let her go. We don't have much time!"
Casting a last terrified look at me, Hannah ran downstairs, calling for Mama and Papa.
Andrew turned to me, his face streaked with tears. "Quick, Drew. Shoot four more marbles out of the ring!"
Holding my breath I aimed. Click, click, click. An immie, a cat's-eye, and a moonstone spun across the floor, but I missed the fourth.
Andrew knuckled down and shot at the scattered marbles. Of the seven in the ring, he managed to hit two before he missed.
Downstairs I heard Hannah pounding on Papa and Mama's door.
"One more, Drew," Andrew whispered.
It was hard to aim carefully. Papa and Mama were awake. Their voices rose as Hannah tried to explain I was in the attic acting as if I'd lost my mind. My hand shook and the first marble I hit merely clicked against another.
Andrew took his turn, hit three, and missed the fourth. "Send me home, Drew," he begged. "I don't care if I die when I get there."
Two marbles were left--a carnelian and an immie, widely separated. Neither was close to my aggie. Even for someone as good as Andrew, it was a hard shot.
Holding his b ~ Mary Downing Hahn

I hear. Nobody thinks so. But I do. Sometimes people whisper. Sometimes they yell. Sometimes they say mean things. I see more than the TV. It's my friend. I don't have any others, like the kids on Barney do. Why are people afraid of me? I don't want to hurt them. I taste only the sweet air, whooshed through tubes to help me breathe. If I'm lucky a bit of flavor comes with the wind or skin or clothes I smell. I wish my mouth would let me tell Mama I love her. Let me tell Daddy I ms him. Let me tell Shane how good I feel when I see him happy with Alex. I like when I swim because when I float, I am free. I like when I sleep because I dance when I dream. I hear, I see, I taste, I smell, I feel, I dream. ~ Ellen Hopkins

If you're like most of us, your mama didn't teach you that threesomes were wholesome. ~ Victoria Vantoch

I wish BET did more to represent the full spectrum of black experiences in a balanced manner. If you watch BET, you get the sense that the only way black people succeed is through professional sports, music, or marrying/fucking/being a baby mama of someone who is involved with professional sports or music. ~ Roxane Gay

I get a letter once a week from my mama. She say everything fine at home..
I write her back too, when I can, but what I'm gonna tell her that won't start her bawling again? So I just say we is having a nice time and everybody treating us fine. ~ Winston Groom

I'm always the person who's taking everyone else's kid and putting them on my hip, so I've kinda always been a mama. ~ Blake Lively

The blue face! The obscene protrusion of the tongue! The tumefaction of the penis! The penis, well now, that's a surprise, I'd forgotten I had one. What a pity I have no arms, there might still be something to be wrung from it. No, 'tis better thus. At my age, to start manstuprating again, it would be indecent. And fruitless. And yet one can never tell. With a yo heave yo, concentrating with all my might on a horse's rump, at the moment when the tail raises, who knows, I might not go altogether empty-handed away. Heaven, I almost felt it flutter! ~ Samuel Beckett

Hecuba had the mistaken notion, just like my poor mama, that all a girl had to do was to get married and all her problems were solved overnight. ~ Costas Taktsis

sometimes I feel my tether is too short." "You will lose that tether soon enough, and then someday when you are in a heap of hurt and trouble, you are going to reach for it and wish your mama was on the other end. ~ Ronald Yates

Lucy paused, hands full of green beans, her memory flashing back to the giant pots of crawfish on the stove. Her Mama's green eyes would squint into the steam, hair pulled back, a frown of concentration on her face. The salted water was flavored and ready to receive the "mudbugs" out of their burlap sacks. Other than an onion or maybe an ear of corn, if it wasn't alive when you threw it in, then it shouldn't be in the pot, she'd say. Did her Mama mind that Lucy didn't cook those old family recipes? Was she turning her back on her culinary heritage as surely as Paulette was?
She snapped the ends of the beans faster, glancing at the clock. This whole dinner was breaking her Mama's cardinal rule: don't hurry. She thought if a cook was in a hurry, you might as well just make a sandwich and go on your way. ~ Mary Jane Hathaway

I love

how grown children
will still
name

their mothers
the
most
beautiful.

It is
as though,

their eyes
have met
the cascading
curves

and golden
silhouettes
of every
woman.

Yet
their souls
still
drum

to the beat
of their
mother's
warmth
and care. ~ A Starry Eyed April

he studied Grandma Mama, hearing her hum a morning melody. her flowered robe was slightly soiles, but still vivid in splashes of rose colors.She was a short woman, and a little wide.Her salt-and-pepper hair was pulled back in a bun, and when she spoke, her gold tooth winked at you.All warm and friendly,Grandma Mama had a heart of gold, but a fist full of fire at the same time. ~ C-Murder

When we walk in, everybody turns to look at us. Pres looks down at our joined hands and then looks to Knox. I open my mouth to say something, but he beats me to it.

Of course he does.

"Yo. Little announcement here. Violent Violet and I are together. She's my old lady and I'm her old man. Yada yada yada, we're getting married. So there's that."

I look at him, and I feel my jaw pop open. "Did you just yada yada your proposal to me?"

Knox shrugs like it's no big deal. "Wasn't going to let you tell me no."

The big scarred-up guy comes over and gives him a high five. "Best way to do it," he says and pats Knox on the back.

"About time you made an honest man out of him," Pres says, walking over and giving me a hug. I feel Knox's hand tighten, and he doesn't let it go while I awkwardly try to hug the guy back.

"We're all a family here now, and it's going to stay that way. We agreed that you're patched in, regardless if you marry this nerd or not."

I lean into Knox and laugh. "Thank you."

"Welcome to the Ghost Riders," Pres says, and suddenly I hear a champagne cork pop and we're all being sprayed with suds.

I try to turn into Knox's chest, but he holds me in front of him so I get covered.

As more champagne is popped and more bottles get poured, Knox spins me in his arms and raises me up so we are at eye level.

"I love you, baby," he says, kissing me on ~ Alexa Riley

The sh*t's gonna splatter, start buggin, yo ...
Mencheres to Cat ~ Jeaniene Frost

Mama often said that no one is ever really entirely unhappy. I agreed with her here in my prison, when the sky took on so many colours and the light of a new day gradually flowed into my cell. Because ~ Albert Camus

- Ya no somos jóvenes - dijo, leyéndome el pensamiento.

- ¿Cuándo hemos sido jóvenes tú y yo?

("We're not young anymore," she said, reading my thought.

"When were you and I ever young?") ~ Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Tell me, how many real motherfuckers feel me? I smoke a blunt
and freak the funk until these jealous motherfuckers kill me
I'm out the gutter, pick a hero
I'm 165 and staying high til I die, my competion's zero
Cause I could give a fuck about you, better duck
Or I'll be forced to hit yo ass up I give a fuck
I'm sick inside my mind, why you sweatin me?
It's gonna take an army full of crooked ass cops to come and get me
Niggaz know I ain't the one to sleep on, I'm under pressure
Gotta sleep with my piece, an extra clip beside my dresser
Word to God I've been ready to die since I was born
I don't want no shit but niggaz trip and yo it's on
Open fire on my adversaries, don't even worry
Better have on a vest aim for the chest and then you buried ~ 2Pac

I god, Ah can't see what uh woman uh yo' stability would want tuh be treasurin' all dat gum-grease from folks dat don't even own de house dey sleep in. 'Tain't no earthly use. They's jus' some puny humans playin' round de toes uh Time. ~ Zora Neale Hurston

I have yet to find something that beats the power of being in love, or the power of music at its most magical. ~ Yo-Yo Ma

Sometimes you think you aren't a good mama; you always feel a bit guilty when you're a mom. You want to be everywhere. ~ Carine Roitfeld

I love Mister." Corbin kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Alice." "And Ebum?" "Yes, dear." Corbin looked over at Edmund, who watched him intently. "I love Edmund too." Edmund smiled. Corbin motioned him over. Edmund climbed onto his lap beside Alice and buried his face in Corbin's lapel. "Love Mama?" Alice continued her questioning. "Yes," Corbin whispered. "Especially Mama. ~ Sarah M. Eden

The boy heaved a sigh. "I would ask to go with you," he said, " but I have to finish my lessons. I so look forward to the day when I know everything. Then I won't have to read any more books or do any more counting."
Beatrix smiled. "I don't wish to be discouraging, Rye, but it's not possible to know everything."
"Mama does." Rye paused reflectively. "At least, Papa says we mus t pretend she does, because it makes her happy."
"Your father," Beatrix informed him with a laugh, " is one of the wisest men I've ever known. ~ Lisa Kleypas