Yo Mama Jokes Quotes

Yo mama so stupid, she watches Fox News and voted for Trump. ~ Oliver Markus Malloy

Dear mama, yo baby boys doing fine tell the homies I'm in heaven and they aint got hoods. ~ Tupac Shakur

Then he gave a sad little smile. "Yo Mama better watch his back," he said. ~ Gayle Forman

How many rappers in the game have "little" in front of their name?
Lil' Wayne, Lil' Boosie it's a lil' shame
Lil' Flip, Lil' Cease, yo they not the same
Lil' Wyte, Lil' Mama, where Lil' Zane?
Little Brother, Lil' Jon, and Lil' Fame
Real hip hop, not about your lil' chain
Lil' Keke, Lil' Kim a lil' freaky
Lil' Fizz, Illegal with Lil' Maliky
Lil' Mo, Lil' Bow Wow had beef with Lil' Romeo
A lil' teenager told me so ... ~ Ed O.G.

All That You Have Is Your Soul

Oh my mama told me
'Cause she say she learned the hard way
Say she wanna spare the children
She say don't give or sell your soul away
'Cause all that you have is your soul

Don't be tempted by the shiny apple
Don't you eat of a bitter fruit
Hunger only for a taste of justice
Hunger only for a world of truth
'Cause all that you have is your soul

I was a pretty young girl once
I had dreams I had high hopes
I married a man he stole my heart away
He gave his love but what a high price I paid
And all that you have is your soul

Why was I such a young fool
Thought I'd make history
Making babies was the best I could do
Thought I'd made something that could be mine forever
Found out the hard way one can't possess another
And all that you have is your soul

I thought thought that I could find a way
To beat the system
To make a deal and have no debts to pay
I'd take it all take it all I'd run away
Me for myself first class and first rate
But all that you have is your soul

Here I am waiting for a better day
A second chance
A little luck to come my way
A hope to dream a hope that I can sleep again
And wake in the world with a clear conscience and clean hands
'Cause all that you have is your soul

All that you have
All that you have
All that yo ~ Tracy Chapman

If I were a bad black comic I would name my special, Yo mama, and other stories of a lack of self awareness. ~ Dov Davidoff

yo mama so fat when she walked by the t.v. I missed three episodes!


sincerely,
yo daddi ~ Jolie Baker

He leans over and snarls, "Yo' mama."
I grin. "She's yo' mama too, and I'm telling her you said that."
He opens up his arms, taunting me, "Do it. I'll tell her the real story about the dried basil leaves in your sock drawer."
The motherfucker. "It was yours! I was hiding it for you!"
He shrugs. "She don't know that. ~ Belle Aurora

So one time for my disillusioned artists, I hear ya Two times for the kid that air-guitars in the mirror Three times for the 9-to-5-in' bus ridin' dudes And four times for my dreamers, yo I'm just like you That's why I sing for my queens with their own pair of wings My brothers flyin' beside me, drama behind me Mama tried to find me, she inquired emphatically I was in the sky with all these other ghetto kids, defying gravity, uh ~ Danny Denzongpa

Yo mama is so fat that she left the house in high heels and came back wearing flip flops. ~ Mature Jokemaker Jr.

Osama, yo Mama didn't raise you right. When you were young, she must have wrapped your turban too tight. ~ Ray Stevens

What happened next, I would never have been able to predict. But it happened.

We both went "OOOOOOOOH" at the bullshit that came out of his mouth like we were in fifth grade and had made a really good "yo mama" joke.

We went "OOOOOOOOH" so deep and into it, totally unexpected, that it lasted maybe three seconds before we both burst out laughing, my head crying no at the movement and my back aching, but I did it anyway. ~ Mariana Zapata

Yo mama so ugly even Hello Kitty said good bye. ~ Jess Franken

De girl baby ain't born and her mama is dead, dat can git me tuh spend our money on her. Ah told yo' before dat you got de keys tuh de kingdom. You can depend on dat. ~ Zora Neale Hurston

What' cha doing out here all alone? Did you forget how to find Sanctuary? (Simi)
No. I want to be alone for a bit. (Gallagher)
Why? Were the bears mean to you? Mama can get a bit cranky whenever I play with the cubs. She thinks I'm going to eat one, but bleh! They're way too hairy. Now if she'd let me skin one, I might be interested. (Simi)
Are you joking? (Gallagher)
Oh no. I never joke about hairy food. (Simi) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

It's uh known fact ... you got tuh go there tuh know there. Yo' papa and yo' mama and nobody else can't tell yuh and show yuh. ~ Zora Neale Hurston

I'm not gonna name names, but sometimes when reporters are talking, it gets a little boring because I don't have any jokes to tell because the questions are so serious. ~ Quvenzhane Wallis

Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying, with bad jokes, that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city
5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats who can't swim is a genius. ~ Larry The Cable Guy

I was so amazingly witty when I had the No. 1 movie, you have no idea. People laughed at every single one of my jokes. Then when I hadn't had a hit for three or four years, some of these same people pretended they didn't see me when I walked in the room. ~ Rebecca De Mornay

You young men have too many jokes. When there are no jokes you've nothing left. ~ Henry James

I don't really consider myself to be an actor of any particular style. My aim with every role I undertake is to be truthful and honest in that particular portrayal. I don't have a particular methodology from any one school of thought or training. ~ Benjamin Bratt

Luka had a kind smile and the most beautiful dark-brown eyes. But it was Luka's upper left Iris smudged with a small splash of blue that made our mothers think we were destined to be. Mama said God placed a piece of my eye within his so we would always know we shared one soul. ~ Tillie Cole

I slid down against one of the planters and breathed in. My chest felt heavy, like someone had dropped a planet on me. Inside, my family sat around, playing Rook and talking so I couldn't understand them. Dancing dances they had danced with each other for years. Sharing jokes and stories I would never be a part of. Eating khiar and drinking doogh like True Persians... I didn't belong. ~ Adib Khorram

There's a lot of actors that I admire because they can just switch one second into the character. Then, they go back to jokes, and then they're doing something really dramatic. I can't do that. I have to really focus. ~ Juan Pablo Di Pace

Mama said that if someone's putting ugliness into the world, you can't be ugly back; you gotta put a little bit of sunshine into the world to even things out. ~ Dan Gemeinhart

If my mama and daddy would've stayed together, one of them would've been dead, and the other would have been locked up for it. ~ Trick Daddy

I think the more the actor lets you know what he thinks of the character, the less the audience cares - like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes. ~ Neil LaBute

I always thought my genitals were the result of some crude practical joke. ~ Steven Morrissey

I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I like to play jokes on people and be sarcastic. ~ Ashley Benson

Pauline, what would you do if your own brother had a party and didn't invite you?' I said ifn I really wanted to go to that party, I reckoned I'd go anyhow. Never mind what he want. She just sucked her teeth a little and made out like what I said was dumb. All the while I was thinking how dumb she was. Whoever told her that her brother was her friend? Folks can't like folks just 'cause they has the same mama. ~ Toni Morrison

-We need more love, to supersede hatred, -We need more strength,
to resist our weaknesses,
-We need more inspiration,
to lighten up our innermind.
-We need more learning,
to erase our ignorance,
-We need more wisdom,
to live longer and happier,
-We need more truths, to suppress deceptions,
-We need more health,
to enjoy our wealth,
-We need more peace, to stay in harmony with our brethren
-We need more smiles,
to brighten up our day,
-We need more hero's, and not zero's,
-We need more change of ourselves, to change the lives of others,
-We need more understanding,
to tackle our misunderstanding,
-We need more sympathy,
not apathy,
-We need more forgiveness,
not vengeance,
-We need more humility to be lifted up,
-We need more patience and not undue eagerness,
-We need more focus, to avoid distraction,
-We need more optimism,
not pessimism
-We need more justice,
not injustice,
-We need more facts, not fiction,
-We need more education,
to curb illiteracy,
-We need more skills, not incompetence,
-We need more challenges,
to make attempts,
-We need more talents,
to create the extraordinary,
-We need more helping hands,
not stingy folks,
-We need more efforts,
not laziness,
-We need more jokes, to forget our worries, -We need more spirituali ~ Michael Bassey Johnson

There is only room for a certain amount of black actresses in this industry. I don't want to fall into the zone of playing the 'ghetto bootalicious baby mama drama.' I want to play something with depth, like a crackhead or something. ~ Selita Ebanks

I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself. ~ Sam Kinison

So, boy, how does it feel to be pouring out a never-ending stream of--?"
"Stop that!" I scowled at my brothers as I shooed them away from Milo. "How can you make such jokes in front of him?"
"To be honest, the only thing in front of him right now is the sea and the supper he ate three days ago." Castor's grin got wider.
Polydeuces was contrite. "We mean well, Helen. We're only trying to make him laugh. A good laugh might take his mind off being so ill."
"It's a shame we're bound straight for Corinth," the old sailor said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Since nothing else seems to be working for this lad, could be that a short rest on dry land would steady his stomach."
"You think we'd ever be able to get him back on board afterward?" Castor asked.
The sailor shrugged. "What would he have to say about it? He's your slave, isn't he?"
"He's our sister's slave, or was," Castor replied. "She freed him as soon as she bought him."
"And still he came onto this ship with you, sick as seafaring makes him?"
"This is his first voyage," I said, stooping beside Milo to place one arm protectively around him. "He didn't know he'd get sick."
"Oh, he'd have come along even if he'd known that a sea monster was waiting to gobble him up," Castor said, with another of those annoying, conspiratorial winks to his twin. "Anything rather than be separated from you, little sister."
Polydeuces eagerly took up his brother's game. "That's true," he ha ~ Esther M. Friesner

The toughest part has been getting used to being known. I've always been the guy in the background, being the actual artist is a whole new experience for me! ~ Ne-Yo

My writing process is very feedback-based. When I do stand-up, I listen to the audience. I try to understand what's connecting, what's not connecting, and then rewrite, rewrite and rewrite. ~ Mike Birbiglia

If you like the lovable sound of an asthma attack in your ear every time you tell a joke. ~ Kiera Cass

Everything was going along just fine until Mama caught me cutting out of the circles of tin with her scissors. I always swore she could find the biggest switches of any woman in the Ozarks. ~ Wilson Rawls

This was Jace being brave. Simon thought, brave and snarky because he thought Lilith was going to kill him, and that was the way he wanted to go, unafraid and on his feet. Like a warrior. The way Shadowhunters did. His death song would always be this-jokes and snideness and pretend arrogance, and that look in his eyes that said 'I'm better than you'. Simon just hadn't realized it before. ~ Cassandra Clare

I never was shy, but as far as telling jokes, I'm the worst. I like physical comedy; it's where I feel comfortable. ~ Malin Akerman

Octavia Spencer rocks. But just as a human being, she's so down-to-earth. Talk about being pleasantly surprised. You walk onto set, and she's making these jokes, and she's playing around with the cast and the crew, and she invited all to her house for a dinner party. She's just a genuinely good person. ~ Ciara Bravo

How do yo feel about her doing this?" That had to be Mahon. That low-pitched growl could only come from him.
"We let each other be who we are," Curran said. "I don't have to like all of the things she has to do. I love her. ~ Ilona Andrews

rain or snow. Mama worried and Papa was impressed; ~ Jane Smiley

Please believe me. I've nothing against you personally. It's just that I laugh at all jokes. ~ Fakeer Ishavardas