Robyn Peterman Quotes

Jumping up and down like a Mexican jumping bean on crack. ~ Robyn Peterman

Then I will skin it and suck all the blood out of it unless it's a Troll. Trolls taste like ass. We tried two of the randy bastards just to make sure and we will not be imbibing Troll again any time soon, ~ Robyn Peterman

Hung Island, Georgia, ~ Robyn Peterman

Don't know. Never let a wolf near my neck." He grinned and gave me a quick hug. "I love you, Essie. Before you came into my life, I had considered ending myself. Three hundred years is a long time to be alone. You've given me hope, a career as a drag queen and a dysfunctional family. I am supremely grateful. Bite me."
And because I trusted him ... I did. ~ Robyn Peterman

Why should it?" I shrugged. "I'm a Demon Princess, my father is Satan, most of my sisters are raging sluts, I have an invisible friend named Blanche and I've been in therapy for what feels like half of my life because I'm not evil enough. I'm not sure I'm such a great catch either. ~ Robyn Peterman

Do Dragons eat Mexican?" Hank wondered out loud.
"Dude, they eat people. Mexican is a vast improvement over people. ~ Robyn Peterman

Sammy is Upoopia!" my baby shouted and clapped his hands, instantly bringing all the furniture in the room to life. Couches and chairs upended their occupants and began to dance around the room recklessly.
"Outstanding," Satan yelled as he tangoed with a chaise. "My great nephew is tremendous". ~ Robyn Peterman

That will be fine," Ethan muttered. "Now breathe through the pain." "Come over here," she grunted. "I'll show you how to breathe through my fist. ~ Robyn Peterman

It occurred to me that might not be the best of ideas, but desperate times led to stupid measures. ~ Robyn Peterman

When you die, the only things you leave behind are memories in the minds of those who loved you. That was how you lived on. ~ Robyn Peterman

He shifted his attention back to me and leaned in closer. "I told you to behave. I don't want to have to arrest you ever again."
"Um ... okay."
I felt him slide something under my hand. He leaned in even closer, his mouth by my ear, and whispered, "Although I wouldn't mind handcuffing you."
Oh. My. God. ~ Robyn Peterman

What in the hell are you digging for?" "The seat belt." "Oh." She shrugged guiltily. "I cut them out. Everybody's doing it. ~ Robyn Peterman

Oookay, that was seriously confusing, especially the part about the Warrior Prince being a taco stand, I laughed, trying to thaw the icy chill in the room. ~ Robyn Peterman

If you puke in my room, I will make you eat it. Do you understand me? ~ Robyn Peterman

Ethan chuckled and pulled his child close. "However, it might be nice if you gave your Uncle Satan blue skin tomorrow. He would love that."
The gasps in the room were hilarious. My Vampyre was evil to the core ... I bit my lip to keep from screaming or laughing. Satan would look awesome as a Smurf. I needed to make sure my phone was charged so I could get some good blackmail shots. ~ Robyn Peterman

You're my BFF and I would shred someone's skin from their body and shove their bones down their dead ass throat for you. ~ Robyn Peterman

Do you mind if we leave here so I can chain smoke 'til I throw up so it will be easier to quit? ~ Robyn Peterman

Can I ask you something weird?" Dwayne inquired. "Does it pertain?" "Yes." "Fine, but hurry. I'm due in the agency in ten." "Don't speak till I finish," Dwayne said in a weary voice I'd never heard. "I am going to bite you. I will drink a very small amount of your blood so I can track you definitively. I don't trust my sense of smell enough where your life is concerned. You will then bite me and drink. You will find it disgusting, disturbing and possibly somewhat erotic, which is gross because you're straight and I'm gay, but you will do it. My blood will give you vampire strength. It's temporary, so don't freak. Let's do it." "Was all that a joke?" I stammered. "What? The straight and gay part?" He was confused. "Or the temporary part?" "All of it," I yelled. ~ Robyn Peterman

I'd never read a romance novel about conjoined twins. It was a huge market that had never been tapped. I had just come up with the new Twilight, ~ Robyn Peterman

For the love of everything evil," Satan yelled and threw his hands in the air. "What's this crap about everyone doubting me? This is not good for my ego. I'm the fucking Devil - the King ~ Robyn Peterman

Cockmotherhumpershitpissbodoinkeewacker, ~ Robyn Peterman

God lets people out to play poker?" This was too much for even me to believe and I was a Vampyre. A myth . . . ~ Robyn Peterman

Hooters McHoulihan, let's get the fuck out of here. This G-string is so far up my ass, it's making my brain hurt, Jane grumbled ~ Robyn Peterman

Out," I instructed as I began peeling my clothes from my body. "I am going to pee for twenty-seven minutes, and then I'm going to shower for forty-two minutes, followed by scrubbing my teeth for sixty-one minutes. ~ Robyn Peterman

Is your name even David?' I asked as I yanked my panties back on.
'Is yours Melanie?' he inquired, buttoning his jeans.
'I asked first,' I countered, wondering for the umpteenth time why being an idiot came so easily to me. ~ Robyn Peterman

I'm twenty-nine, happily single and getting it on a regular basis' I said, enjoying the way their thin lips hung open in an impressive O.
'Well I've never,' Jane gasped.
'Clearly. You should try it some time. I understand Mr Smith is so vision impaired you might have a shot there.'
Their appalled shrieks were music to my ears and I quickly made my escape. ~ Robyn Peterman

Hanks grin almost sent me into meltdown. The kind where I killed him, but first I would stick my tongue down his throat and ride him till he was blind. ~ Robyn Peterman

I love you, Essie. Before you came into my life, I had considered ending myself. Three hundred years is a long time to be alone. You've given me hope, a career as a drag queen and a dysfunctional family. I am supremely grateful. Bite me." And ~ Robyn Peterman

I opened my mouth and projectile-vomited on her from head to toe. The more I retched, the more I had to retch. It was a disgusting self-fulfilling prophecy. Her howls and screeches were music to my indebted ears. Her hair was covered and her net top held my gift beautifully. ~ Robyn Peterman

Do you think five babysitters will be sufficient?" Ethan inquired sardonically.
"No, but I'm willing to leave the compound without panties if we can make that happen."
"I'm on it," he said as he quickly began texting our gaggle of sitters ~ Robyn Peterman

Will you guys by okay?" I asked granny and BFF.
"Oh, hell yeah. We're gonna play Twister and then try on wigs and girdles," Granny informed us. ~ Robyn Peterman

How about Al?" Sam suggested. "Perfect," Dave grinned. "Um ... Hi Poseidon, this is Al." "Al who?" "Al Jacques Yuoff!" Dave snorted, desperately trying not to laugh as Hairy Sam rocked back and forth giggling. "Al Jacques Yuoff?" Poseidon boomed. "You'll jack me off? Thanks you fat bastard!" Dave shrieked and hung up quickly. ~ Robyn Peterman

It took a lot to render me silent, like learning my grandma had been a stripper in her youth, and that all male Werewolves were hung like horses ... but this was horrific. ~ Robyn Peterman

Oh my god," I shrieked. "Who did I screw over in a former life that those douches get to go to cool cities and I have to go home to an island called Hung?" "Those douches do have hairy asses and not just on a full moon. You're the only female agent I have that looks like a model so you're going to Georgia. Period." "Fine. I'll quit. I'll open a bakery." Angela smiled and an icky feeling skittered down my spine. "Excellent, I'll let you tell the Council that all the money they invested in your training is going to be flushed down the toilet ~ Robyn Peterman

Crazy didn't just run in my family ... it stopped and strolled and hung out. ~ Robyn Peterman

Anyone who discounts you is a dumbass," I muttered as the golf cart jerked forward.
"And are you a dumbass?" the Pigeon inquired as she peeked under the tarp.
"Absolutely not ... I'm a smartass. ~ Robyn Peterman

The Vampyres were loosey goosey, the Witches were nuts and the freakin' Fairies were downright pushovers, but not the Weres. Nope, if you enlisted you were in for life. ~ Robyn Peterman

Puck Flare's eyes turned blood red and narrowed to slits. "What have you done to me?" he demanded as a spear of fire flew from his lips. "What have you done?" Ducking so I didn't fry was necessary, but he did ask a question. I'd been raised in the South and was occasionally polite. The man deserved an answer. "I ~ Robyn Peterman

Maybe after I saved everyone we could all take a ride on the fucking Ferris wheel ... Fuck was now added to my vocabulary. It was an outstanding word that could basically mean just about anything. It could be used as a noun, verb and adverb. It rolled off the tongue with ease and even if you spoke a foreign language it was difficult not to understand fuck off or off you fuck or fuck you. ~ Robyn Peterman

I was just pissy and bored and horny and lonely. It was a bad combination. Bad. ~ Robyn Peterman

The way I figured it, keeping quiet was safe. Words could betray you if you choose the wrong ones, or mean less if you used too many. ~ Robyn Schneider

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in the nurse's office? I know it'd be a tight fit, but it would be sort of perfect. ~ Robyn Schneider

I can tell how I'm doing, and I can tell if the crowd is particularly dead. ~ Robyn Hitchcock

At this moment, I am obscenely happy. Please don't screw this up or dump me or cheat on me or divorce me."
"All right," he said. ~ Robyn Carr

I kept getting the odd sensation that I was in fact perfectly stationary, and that I was pushing the world around under my feet. ~ Robyn Davidson

In 1998 Gordon Hempton, a sound recordist attempting to build a library of natural sounds, toured fifteen states west of the Mississippi and found only two areas--in the mountains of Colorado and the Boundary Waters of Minnesota--that were free of motors, aircraft, industrial clamor, or gunfire for more than fifteen minutes during daylight. ~ Robyn Griggs Lawrence

And so back up the ravines to the comfortable places (the sane ones?) where we don't have to think too much. Where life is, after all, just 'getting by' and where we survive, half asleep. ~ Robyn Davidson

Well, fresh air's supposedly good for us,' I said.
'Breathing: The miracle cure everyone's been looking for. ~ Robyn Schneider

Noah realized with some embarrassment that he wanted to hold her and comfort her, whisper all the right words that would bring her peace of mind. He wanted to be the one to get her through this. To rescue her. To put his arms around her, protect her and bring contentment where there was fear and pain. Hope. He would show her hope where there was hopelessness. ~ Robyn Carr

We'd been so good together once, and then we'd rotted, like some corpse with a delayed burial. ~ Robyn Schneider

Because of people like that guy in San Francisco who told me it changed his life, 'Teen Witch' is my most favorite thing I've ever done. I see how happy it makes people, and that makes me happy. The great thing is that no one realized it was going to become all these things when we were making it. We thought we were making a very serious movie. ~ Robyn Lively

I can't say I forgive her for refusing to indulge the perhapsness of what we might have been, but I understand why she chose to do it, and she never asked for my forgiveness. ~ Robyn Schneider

My younger sister and younger brother are huge 'Teen Witch' fans. ~ Robyn Lively

Damn, boy. Look at you. You're almost as old as me." "Hardly." Ricky laughed. "Look at you. You're getting gray, what's this?" "Melinda, naturally. She's working me over. You should be careful, Rick. Strong, sexy women? They'll kill you slow." "What a way to go, huh?" "Yeah, ~ Robyn Carr

And she saw herself cooking, baking, canning and working a little in the orchard. ~ Robyn Carr

I made lists of lists of lists, then started all over again. And if I did something that wasn't on a list, I would promptly write it on one and cross it out, with the feeling of having at least accomplished something. ~ Robyn Davidson

But second chances aren't forever Even miracles have an expiration date. ~ Robyn Schneider

Production is something I've never come to terms with. ~ Robyn Hitchcock

The one thing she had learned was that to be tolerated and endured was less dignified than being hated. And it was infinitely more painful. ~ Robyn Carr

Women know intuitively when they are being devalued. (121) ~ Robyn Silverman

She sighed deeply. "I really thought about trying to explain them," she said. "And why I really didn't want to - " He reached across the console and picked up her hand, holding it, giving it a squeeze. He smiled and shook his head at her. It's okay, he mouthed silently. He didn't let go of her hand. ~ Robyn Carr

I want to love every piece of you. I want to be inside you. I want our bodies together, to make the two of us into one. I want it all, and I want it hard, soft, anything that will make you happy. I want to hold you, keep you safe, make you scream ... I want to make you gasp and tremble and lose control, like I'm losing control. And tip over the edge. And fall." He kissed her again. "And fall," he whispered against her lips. "I want to make you fall in love with me. The way I'm in love with you." (Noah Kincaid) ~ Robyn Carr

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. ~ Robyn Williams

I thought about the metal in my knee, replacing this piece of me that was missing, that no longer worked. And it wasn't my heart, I kept telling myself. It wasn't my heart. ~ Robyn Schneider

You should get a better boyfriend. One with an IQ higher than a turnip. ~ Robyn Carr

I think I might drum up the hardest end-of-term exams in the history of the world. I want to be remembered for something." "George, you'll be remembered. Who could forget you?" "Hopefully not you!" He kissed her forehead. ~ Robyn Carr

She reached out a hand and touched the hair at his temple. "You're getting a little gray here." "Big surprise. I really didn't know you'd be such a handful." "I'm the best thing that ever happened to you." "Yeah," he said in a breath. He leaned down and kissed her brow. "Yeah, baby. You sure are. And you're a reproductive genius." John ~ Robyn Carr

I had a massive bed at home, and I loved her dearly. She was my queen, and I was her loyal subject. ~ Robyn Schneider

Thank God for being a writer, because you do sort of find out what you think by the process of writing. ~ Robyn Davidson

Shank or canned tomatoes thickened with paste for a kind of red sauce to pour over noodles. ~ Robyn Carr

Daddy? Daddy, I know the baby is in the mommy‟s tummy and the baby comes out of the mommy‟s tummy, but, Daddy? How do that baby get in the mommy‟s tummy? ~ Robyn Carr

I have a theory that life is gathering the raw materials, and when we die, we get to make patterns out of our lives and relive them in whatever order we want. That way I can spend forever repeating the days when I was really happy, and never have to experience any of the sad days. So that's how you live a really great life. You make sure you have enough good days that you want to go back to. ~ Robyn Schneider

I'm thinking about three things this morning. The obstacle is the path. Today is a good day. And what comes is a gift. ~ Satya Robyn

Stop judging how everyone else treats their faith and study your own, George had counseled. ~ Robyn Carr

Dating becomes a cutthroat game of musical chairs with everyone scrambling for available partners to avoid standing alone at 30 when the music stops. ~ Robyn Louis

And so I pushed it all down into the dim recesses of my mind, there to fester and grow like botulism. ~ Robyn Davidson

I am opposed to Naperville. It's all cute, trendy and expensive, and filled with cookie-cutter Borg houses that assimilate you into upper-middle-class America. ~ Robyn Bachar

Is there a date set for the wedding yet?" Muriel asked Shelby. "No, not exactly. We can't figure out when to do it, where to do it. Luke still has two brothers in the Middle East. I think we should wait for them to get home and he thinks we'd better hurry." "What's the hurry?" Muriel asked. "We want to have a baby," she said, smiling. Muriel just frowned. "Shelby, you're so young - you have lots of time. It's not like your clock is ticking." "I know," she laughed. "Luke's clock is ticking. He'll be thirty-nine next month. He's afraid he's going to be going to high-school football games with a walker." "Oh, ~ Robyn Carr

I wondered what things became when you no longer needed them, and I wondered what the future would hold once we'd gotten past our personal tragedies and proven them ultimately survivable. When ~ Robyn Schneider

The music industry used to be able to control a single dance on the very smallest level of when people are supposed to hear it, and when they're supposed to start liking it, and when they're supposed to start buying it. And that's trashed, you know, that big machine that takes control and works albums for a long period. ~ Robyn

You can't censor people's dreams. ~ Robyn Hitchcock