Odd Couple 2 Quotes

For all the bachelors out there tonight, yeah for anybody who's never whistled this song.
Maybe you whistled it but you lost the sheet music.
Um...this is um...well actually I don't mind going to weddings or anything,
as long as there not my own I show up.
But I've always kinda been partial to calling myself up on the phone and asking myself out, you know?
Oh yeah, you call yourself up too huh? Yeah, well one thing about it, your always around.
Yeah I know, yeah you ask yourself out, you know, some class joint somewhere.
The Buretto King or something, you know. Well I ain't cheap you know.
Take yourself out for a couple of drinks maybe.
Then there'd be some provocative conversation on the way home.
Park in front of the house you know.
Oh yeah, you smoothly put a little nice music on,
maybe you put on like uh, you know, like shopping music,
something thats not too interruptive you know and then uh slide over real nice and say
'Oh I think you have something in your eye'.
Well maybe it's not that romantic with you but Christ I don't know, you know I get into it you know.
Take myself up to the porch, take myself inside or maybe uh,
or may get a little something, a brandy snifter or something.
'Would like you like to listen to some of my back records?
I got something here' Uh Well usually about 2.30 in the morning you've ended up taking advantage of yourself.
There ain't no way arou ~ Tom Waits

There are a couple of utterly important rules to writing anything, whether it's a novel, a short story or a collection of poetry. And they're really the only rules.
1: Quit talking about it and start.
2: Focus and finish it. ~ Nicholas Trandahl

President Josiah Bartlet: Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.

Dr. Jenna Jacobs: I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.

President Josiah Bartlet: Yes, it does. Leviticus.

Dr. Jenna Jacobs: 18:22.

President Josiah Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important 'cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing: While you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignora ~ Aaron Sorkin

Would a minute have mattered? No, probably not, although his young son appeared to have a very accurate internal clock. Possibly even 2 minutes would be okay. Three minutes, even. You could go to five minutes, perhaps. But that was just it. If you could go for five minutes, then you'd go to ten, then half an hour, a couple of hours ... and not see your son all evening. So that was that. Six o'clock, prompt. Every day. Read to young Sam. No excuses. He'd promised himself that. No excuses. No excuses at all. Once you had a good excuse, you opened the door to bad excuses. ~ Terry Pratchett

. . .In a heartbeat, you will fall right into that novel, that poem, the story that you are most in love with right now. When you learn to be able to decide in the moment to take breaks from your internal voices - even though it's only for a split second - you will be taking your first baby steps toward the full-out exhilaration of living in the midst of the wholly realized writer's life.

Then all the negatives - yes, even your cherished writer's block ego trip - will fade into background noise, then you will find silence, and your story will take over. Before you know it, you will be working calmly and clearly for hours, rather than for a couple minutes.

1 hour, not 1 second, 2 hours, not 2 seconds, 3 hours, 4 hours, 5 hours of allowing your mind to come to rest from the horrid, every day, mental chatter we lock ourselves up with - a time to anchor within the natural spaciousness that you already know instinctively, know from deep within will make you feel full inside. . . . ~ Terry Kennedy

You've heard the expression "total war"; it's pretty common throughout human history. Every generation or so, some gasbag likes to spout about how his people have declared "total war" against an enemy, meaning that every man, woman, and child within his nation was committing every second of their lives to victory. That is bullshit on two basic levels. First of all, no country or group is ever 100 percent committed to war; it's just not physically possible. You can have a high percentage, so many people working so hard for so long, but all of the people, all of the time? What about the malingerers, or the conscientious objectors? What about the sick, the injured, the very old, the very young? What about when you're sleeping, eating, taking a shower, or taking a dump? Is that a "dump for victory"? That's the first reason total war is impossible for humans. The second is that all nations have their limits. There might be individuals within that group who are willing to sacrifice their lives; it might even be a relatively high number for the population, but that population as a whole will eventually reach its maximum emotional and physiological breaking point. The Japanese reached theirs with a couple of American atomic bombs. The Vietnamese might have reached theirs if we'd dropped a couple more, 2 but, thank all holy Christ, our will broke before it came to that. That is the nature of human warfare, two sides trying to push the other past its limit of endurance, and no matter h ~ Max Brooks

An argument in a couple: 2 people attempting to introduce each other to important truths - by panicked shouting. ~ Alain De Botton

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea (coffee) and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She'll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. ~ Robert Pattinson

When I'm writing, which is 8-9 months out of the year, I'm in a concerted writing pace, where I work 5 days a week for at least a few hours a day, maybe a little bit more. But I won't work for more than 2 hours at a time. I'll work for a couple hours and take a break. ~ Amy Ray

A couple must agree on the following topics: 1) Do they want kids? 2) Do they want a dog? 3) Do they want sex? 4) Do they want sleep? (If they answer yes to 3 and 4, then they must answer no to 1.) And finally, 5) Who mixes the cocktails before they both don the sexy rubber gloves and clean the toilet? ~ E. Jean Carroll

Over the last couple of years I have gotten an average of 2,000 letters a week from fans. ~ Davy Jones

Divorce Myths: 1. When love has gone out of a marriage, it is better to get divorced. 2. It is better for the children for the unhappy couple to divorce than to raise their children in the atmosphere of an unhappy marriage. 3. Divorce is the lesser of two evils. 4. You owe it to yourself. 5. Everyone's entitled to one mistake. 6. God led me to this divorce. ~ R.C. Sproul

I like how you call homosexuality an abomination."
"I don't say homosexuality's an abomination, Mr. President, the bible does."
"Yes it does. Leviticus-"
"18:22"
"Chapter in verse. I wanted to ask you a couple questions while I had you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that can I ask another? My chief of staff, Leo Mcgary,insists on working on the sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it ok to call the police? Here's one that's really important, cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean, Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Red Skins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? ~ Aaron Sorkin

After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms ... both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in. ~ Dennis Miller

What you need on hand: Olive Oil Garlic Chamomile Lavender Directions: Begin with 1 teaspoon of olive oil. Add 1 drop of garlic oil from a freshly crushed garlic clove. (You can do this by crushing the clove and allowing a drop to roll off into the oil.) Add 2 drops of chamomile and 2 drops of lavender to the oil. Stir oils to mix. Fill an eyedropper with mixture. Add 2 drops of oil mixture into the ear. Try to keep the aching ear upright for a couple of minutes. I like to add this oil at night before bed so that I fall asleep with my ear upright for a while. This is great for kids as it usually gives immediate relief. Note: If you have a child like I do that refuses to let me put anything in his ear, I warm the oil in my hand and add it to his ear at night after he falls asleep. He wakes up happy forgetting he ever had an ear ache. ~ Laurel Brushett

Couples should abstain from sexual relations at least 2 or 3 days a week. Gradually try to reach a stage of celibacy most days. ~ Mata Amritanandamayi

Someday I'd like to go
to Atlantic City with you
not to gamble (just being
there with you is enough
of a gamble) but to ride
the high white breakers
have a Manhattan and listen
to a baritone saxophone
play a tune called "Salsa
Eyes" with you beside me
on a banquette but why
stop there let's go to
Paris in November when
it's raining and we read
the Tribune at La Rotonde
our hotel room has a big
bathtub I knew you'd like
that and we can be a couple
of unknown Americans what
are we waiting for let's go ~ David Lehman

When you grow up Indian, you quickly learn that the so-called American Dream isn't for you. For you that dream's a nightmare. Ask any Indian kid: you're out just walking across the street of some little off-reservation town and there's this white cop suddenly comes up to you, grabs you by your long hair, pushes you up against a car, frisks you, gives you a couple good jabs in the ribs with his nightstick, then sends you off with a warning sneer: "Watch yourself, Tonto!" He doesn't do that to white kids, just Indians. You can hear him chuckling with delight as you limp off, clutching your bruised ribs. If you talk smart when they hassle you, off to the slammer you go. Keep these Injuns in their place, you know.

Truth is, they actually need us. Who else would they fill up their jails and prisons with in places like the Dakotas and New Mexico if they didn't have Indians? Think of all the cops and judges and guards and lawyers who'd be out of work if they didn't have Indians to oppress! We keep the system going. We help give the American system of injustice the criminals it needs. At least being prison fodder is some kind of reason for being. Prison's the only university, the only finishing school many young Indian brothers ever see. Same for blacks and Latinos. So-called Latinos, of course, are what white man calls Indians who live south of the Rio Grande. White man's books will tell you there are only 2.5 million or so of us Indians here in America. But there are mor ~ Leonard Peltier

TIPS
Even though I don't much like them, I have to admit that tips can sometimes be useful. Here are a few that have been good to me.
The Three Rules of Three
1. When I talk to an audience, I try to make no more than three points. (They can't remember more than three, and neither can I.) In fact, restricting myself to one big point is even better. But three is the limit.
2. I try to explain difficult ideas three different ways. Some people can't understand something the first couple of ways I say it, but can if I say it another way. This lets them triangulate their way to understanding.
3. I try to find a subtle way to make an important point three times. It sticks a little better. ~ Alan Alda

1. If from people, it is directed at you: resentment, envy, sarcasm, sarcasm, anger, aggression, hatred, revenge, rage - know that all this is people's sympathy, this does not mean that you are a bad person, just very attractive personality.
2. A love couple who is able to constantly forgive each other is doomed to become the happiest couple in the world.
3. Sleep is a unique museum of our past, present, and future. In which there is a library that holds a unique knowledge.
4. Man does not want people to like him, he wants to tease them.
5. For many people, love with late ignition.
6. The enemy control you with the help of your own anger.
7. We die exactly as much as we cease to be needed by the world.
8. Even in the worst, there is something funny.
9. Laziness as if slows down time and space.
10. Your loved one is your best thought in all your mind, throughout your whole life. ~ Musin Almat Zhumabekovich

Clearly we're in historic times here. We have - one of the tributaries of the Mississippi River is a river called the Merrimack. And the crest areas there - they're going to be a number of feet, 2, 3, 4, over what they were in '93 or '82. And on the Mississippi River itself, down below St. Louis, we're still projecting a couple of feet over that historic number. So the bottom line is there's a significant amount of water that's causing evacuations and challenges throughout that whole area. ~ Jay Nixon

I was once asked to pick a couple of records for an interview I was doing on Radio 2. I picked one by Will Oldham and one by Joanna Newsom. Someone on the production phoned me to say that I couldn't have either record because they were 'too alternative' and I could just pick two from their playlist. Now, personally, I think that Radio 2's listeners would dig both Joanna Newsom and Will Oldham if they heard their records, and that the fact they don't get to hear them contributes to the cultural wasteland we live in. I told them that I'd been to see Joanna Newsom in the Albert Hall a couple of weeks before and it had been sold out. How could she be 'too alternative'?
'Alternative' and 'mainstream' aren't strictly to do with whether things are popular or minority interest. They are ideological labels. Someone like Joe Pasquale would be called 'mainstream' and regularly pops up on TV, but would play the smaller end of the touring-theatre circuit. If Joanna Newsom can sell out Albert Hall, why can't she get played on Radio 2? I would agree that it's because her work is too layered, challenging and interesting. Think about that. What you get to hear about is filtered, and not filtered to get rid of useless cunts like Joe Pasquale, but of things that might enrich your life. ~ Frankie Boyle

Do you really admire me very much.?" he asked the little prince.
"What does "admire" mean.?"
"To admire means that you consider me the handsomest, the best dressed, the richest and the most intelligent man on this planet."
"But you are all alone on your planet.!"
"Do me this kindness. Admire me all the same.!"
"I admire you," said the little prince with a slight shrug of his shoulders, "but why should that mean so much to you.?"
And the little prince went away.
"Grown- ups are really very odd," he said to himself, as he continued on his journey. ~ Antoine De Saint Exupery

One needs to properly possess only a couple of great thoughts
they shed light on many stretches whose illumination one would never have believed in. ~ Georg Simmel

Any idiot that wants to make a couple of thousand drawings for a hundred feet of film is welcome to join the club. ~ Winsor McCay

When you see a merger between two giants in a declining industry, it can look like the financial version of a couple having a baby to save a marriage. ~ Adam Davidson

Life as a forester became exciting once again. Every day in the forest was a day of discovery. This led me to unusual ways of managing the forest. When you know that trees experience pain and have memories and that tree parents live together with their children, then you can no longer just chop them down and disrupt their lives with large machines. Machines have been banned from the forest for a couple of decades now, and if a few individual trees need to be harvested from time to time, the work is done with care by foresters using horses instead. A healthier - perhaps you could even say happier - forest is considerably more productive, and that means it is also more profitable. ~ Peter Wohlleben

Well, in my country they say that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."

"Yes, they would," Pyotr said mysteriously. He had been walking a couple of steps ahead of Kate, but now he dropped back and, without any warning, slung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to his side. "But why you would want to catch flies, hah? Answer me that, vinegar girl. ~ Anne Tyler

A Christian accepts responsibility whatever his environment. God has not grudged you intelligence
you are capable of answering the question, 'Am I or am I not responsible for my actions?' Therefore, there is no doubt that you are responsible. 'Temptation cannot but enter the world, but woe unto him through whom temptation cometh.' As to your transgression itself, well, many commit similar ones, but go on living in peace with their consciences and even consider such things as inevitable errors of youth. There are also odd men with the smell of the grave already about them who likewise still go on sinning, playfully shrugging off their responsibility and reassuring themselves. The world is full of such horrors. You, at least, have felt the full depth of your transgressions, and that's a very rare occurrence. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

There's no certainty to the next couple of years, but people are paying attention now. And I want to put out a record when people are paying attention, because that's when it has the best chance of being heard. ~ Andrew McMahon

I feel an itch, a creeping itch, for drink as we walk through Forest Gate. We can't find a pub. The Interpreter keeps pointing out the odd shop with a dirty England flag. 'This is Muslim land, man, there are no pubs here because there are no English. But if you wanna go into one of those gross last of the English pubs we can. ~ Ben Judah

There are certain filmmakers I'd like to work with that I don't think would take a risk with me, because I could be distracting in their film. It'll take a couple films to prove to them that it's worth the risk. ~ Seann William Scott

All too often people concentrate on finding the right spouse, little realizing that half of any marriage is being the right spouse. ~ Abu Ammaar Yasir Qadhi

Glass became suddenly aware of the sound of the river. It was an odd thing to notice, he thought. He had clung to the river for weeks. Yet suddenly he heard the waters with the acute sensitivity of new discovery. He turned from the fire to stare at the river. It struck him as strange that the smooth flow of water would create any sound at all. Or that the wind would, for that matter. It occurred to him that it wasn't so much the water or the wind that accounted for the noise, but rather the objects in their path. ~ Michael Punke

I'd be dong something creative - something I could express my personality through. I enjoyed working as a gardener before music consumed more of my time. I would probably be still working as a gardener, perhaps, and I wouldn't mind doing odd jobs on the side that were creative, but I'm not sure what they'd be. ~ Vance Joy

A couple of things for the not-so-diminutive man: avoid any prints that are large scale, because you will look like the print is wearing you, as opposed to you wearing the print. ~ Tim Gunn

Every business I don't know, if I spend enough time - a couple of months - I will know a lot. I know quite a lot about football now. I know the value of players, and we won't do stupid things. ~ Vincent Tan

It was all right to be who he was, but others would probably think it was terrible. A couple of times in the past he'd reached this absolute zero of the truth, and without fear or bitterness he realized now that somewhere inside it there was a move he could make to change his life, to become another person, but he'd never be able to guess what it was. ~ Denis Johnson

Eventually he understood that he was crying for himself. He was ashamed of the man whom he had become, mourning the man whom he had expected to be when he'd been a boy. ~ Dean Koontz

Every place is the same place in the end. ~ Dean Koontz

I was born in London, England, in 1938, a few months before the war, and spent the first years of my life there, although I was evacuated a couple of times for short periods. My schooling was very interrupted, both by frequent moves and by ill health. ~ Anne Perry

This couple, so involved with babies, had never reproduced themselves, though they could have. This was an interesting comment on the whole idea of reproduction. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

One of those gated communities where there's one token African-American couple and four token Jewish couples. Children and vegetarians are not allowed. Residents must vote Republican and own small dogs with rhinestone collars, stupid eyes, and names that end in i. Taffi is good, Cassi is better, and something like Rififi is the total shit. ~ Stephen King

For isn't it odd that the only language I have in which to speak of this crime is the language of the criminal who committed the crime? ~ Jamaica Kincaid

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to choose between your loved ones, knowing that whatever you decided, you would have to lie to one of them?'
'Yes. More than once.' Elijah's words sounded far too cold in the sudden silence. His finely chiselled face tensed up and his eyes grew cold. 'And before you ask, I chose you every time. ~ A.O. Esther

I went out a couple of times with Pierce. He's totally recognizable, and he makes no effort to tone it down. Some people were glancing over at us in the restaurant, and he just went over and introduced himself. And it does work. It dissipates all the attention. Me? I just crawl under the table. ~ Robert Pattinson