Maths Teacher Funny Quotes

What makes a good teacher today is what has always made a good teacher: command of a subject, a critical mind, a demanding nature, and an ability to inspire students to pursue knowledge for some end beyond mere financial rewards. A good teacher might be entertaining and funny, but shouldn't set out to be. A good teacher may have broad experience with and skills using technology, but the mere possession of such experience and skills doesn't make one a good teacher. ~ Peter K. Fallon

I was performing at a New Jersey high school, and I asked a class of 2,000 students, 'How many of you love mathematics?' and only one hand went up. And that was the hand of the maths teacher! ~ Shakuntala Devi

In one universe, they are gorgeous, straight-teethed, long-legged, wrapped in designer fashions, and given sports cars on their sixteenth birthdays. Teacher smile at them and grade them on the curve. They know the first names of the staff. They are the Pride of the Trojans. Oops – I mean Pride of the Blue Devils.

In Universe #2, they throw parties wild enough to attract college students. They worship the stink of Eau de Jocque. They rent beach houses in Cancún during Spring Break and get group-rate abortions before prom. ~ Laurie Halse Anderson

The simplest comment on my book came from my ballet teacher. She said, I wish you hadn't made every line funny. It's so depressing. ~ Quentin Crisp

When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody's perfect so I stopped practicing. ~ Steven Wright

My seven a.m. teacher was from France. And he spoke Frenglish. Sometimes it was funny, but when he announced which chapters we should study and the names came out in English, but the chapter numbers came out in French, I wanted to strangle the sacre bleu out of him. ~ Lila Felix

Mathematics education is much more complicated than you expected, even though you expected it to be more complicated than you expected. ~ Edward Griffith Begle

Yeah, I get it; you're a vampire," she said. "Creepy. And okay, a little hot, I admit."
"You don't mean that."
"Come on. I still like you, you know, even if you... crave plasma."
Michael blinked and looked at her as if he had never seen her before.
"You what?"
"Like. You." Eve enunciated slowly, as if Michael might not know the words. "Idiot. I always have. What, you didn't know?" Eve sounded cool and grown-up about it, but Claire saw the hectic color in her cheeks, under the makeup.
"How clueless are you? Does it come with the fangs?"
"I guess I... I just thought... Hell. I just didn't think... You're kind of intimidating, you know."
"I'm intimidating? Me? I run like a rabbit from trouble, mostly," Eve said.
"It's all show and makeup. You're the one who's intimidating. I mean, come on. All that talent, and you look... Well, you know how you look."
" How do I look?" He sounded fascinated now, and he'd actually moved a little closer to Eve on the couch.
She laughed. "Oh come on. You're a total model-babe."
"You're kidding."
"You don't think you are?"
He shook his head.
"Then you're kind of an idiot, Glass. Smart, but and idiot." Eve crossed her arms.
"So? What exactly do you think about me, except that I'm intimidating?"

"I think you're…you're…ah, interesting?" Michael was amazingly bad at this, Claire thought, but then he saved it by looking away and continuing. "I think you'r ~ Rachel Caine

I didn't understand how funny this play Much Ado About Nothing truly was until I became an English teacher and had to teach it. There is no wittier dialogue anywhere. ~ Dan Brown

A teacher is really invaluable. A teacher will instruct you in how to stabilize your energy field, increase it, and decrease the loss of energy in your life and how to be balanced, wise, and funny. ~ Frederick Lenz

The American audience has really opened up to women being A.) funny and B.) kinda crude. 'Bridesmaids' is R-rated, and I think it was a major coup for women to have an R-rated comedy that did really well. Same as 'Bad Teacher.' ~ Chris Pratt

He's not doing anything he shouldn't be doing, right?"
"Like what?"
"Like hitting on you."
"Ew. No, of course not. He doesn't see me that way."
Michael shook his head and went back to his coffee.
"What? You think he does?"
"Sometimes he looks at you a little ... oddly, that's all. Maybe you're right. Maybe he just wants you for your blood."
"Again, Ew! What's with you this morning?"
"Not enough coffee. ~ Rachel Caine

The human mind is an incredible thing. It can conceive of the magnificence of the heavens and the intricacies of the basic components of matter. Yet for each mind to achieve its full potential, it needs a spark. The spark of enquiry and wonder.
Often that spark comes from a teacher. Allow me to explain. I wasn't the easiest person to teach, I was slow to learn to read and my handwriting was untidy. But when I was fourteen my teacher at my school in St Albans, Dikran Tahta, showed me how to harness my energy and encouraged me to think creatively about mathematics. He opened my eyes to maths as the blueprint of the universe itself. If you look behind every exceptional person there is an exceptional teacher. When each of us thinks about what we can do in life, chances are we can do it because of a teacher.
[...] The basis for the future of education must lie in schools and inspiring teachers. But schools can only offer an elementary framework where sometimes rote-learning, equations and examinations can alienate children from science. Most people respond to a qualitative, rather than a quantitative, understanding, without the need for complicated equations. Popular science books and articles can also put across ideas about the way we live. However, only a small percentage of the population read even the most successful books. Science documentaries and films reach a mass audience, but it is only one-way communication. ~ Stephen Hawking

Sorry I'm late, Ms. Egami said to the class. She dropped her papers, which scattered in that special way papers do when one is running late. ~ Adam Rex

I remember the number to the school's desk because last year,
Molly thought it would be funny to prank-call a teacher and
tell them that the queen wanted to come on a royal visit. We
got detention for a week. I assure you, my friends are a very bad
influence on me. ~ Sophie Wilkinson

Ms. Fang is the nicest, sweetest teacher at Scary School. She only ate twelve kids last year. ~ Derek The Ghost

I had gone to New York with no plan at all. I did a lot of jobs - barman, teacher, security guard, postman and construction worker - and I was meeting many eccentric characters, and they were saying funny things, which I always wrote down. ~ Adrian McKinty

You think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach ... but I don't want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?" ~ Jim Gaffigan

I never did very well in math-I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally. ~ Calvin Trillin

I allowed myself a little bit of relief. That was a lot less bad than I though it would be.
"Of course, we'll also have to have a parent-teacher conference. Do you have a parent available to call right now?"
Never mind. That was enough to ruin my whole year. ~ August Westman

I loved school, I loved putting on my uniform and doing homework every day. I was one of those good students that the teachers liked. I guess that's got to be a pretty nerdy, geeky part of me. ~ Yvonne Strahovski

It's a funny thing - the reality is I have no feelings about school. It's long gone. Funnily enough, the bad memories - of which I don't have any left to be honest, I can just remember a sense of tedium - have faded. And teachers that I liked have remained quite vivid. There are three or four left. ~ Colin Firth

We had to go to stew school for five weeks. We'd go through a whole week of make-up and poise. I didn't like this. They make you feel like you've never been out in public. They showed you how to smoke a cigarette, when to smoke a cigarette, how to look at a man's eyes. Our teacher, she had this idea we had to be sexy. One day in class she was showing us how to accept a light for a cigarette from a man and never blow it out. When he lights it, just look in his eyes. It was really funny, all the girls laughed. ~ Studs Terkel

Eventually light prevails, you just have to be patient. So practice Buddhism, learn to be enlightened, put a smile on your face, go find a great teacher, meditate, and stay funny. ~ Frederick Lenz

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. ~ Socrates

This is a perfect example of the power and ridiculousness of a website like Wikipedia. I did give a slightly contentious graduation speech, where I decided not to be funny as my classmates had hoped, which was why I was chosen. I was not valedictorian, that's for sure. Instead, I talked about the failure to communicate between the administration and the teachers and students. That's what was contentious about it. At some point, somebody wrote about that incident on my Wikipedia page. And then somebody added the bit about me exposing my genitals to the crowd. ~ Nick Kroll

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to. ~ Chic Murray

Malfoy glanced around. Harry knew he was checking for signs of teachers. Then he looked back at Harry and said in a low voice, "You're dead, Potter."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Funny," he said, "you'd think I'd have stopped walking around ... ~ J.K. Rowling

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'. ~ Bob Newhart

Zeb was kindergarten teacher
a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students. ~ Molly Harper