Jesse Ventura Quotes

You're lucky if I watch 10 minutes of wrestling a month. Most of the time, I channel surf, and I lose interest after a few minutes. ~ Jesse Ventura

It's a good thing I'm not the president, because I would prosecute everybody who was involved in that torture, I would prosecute the people who did it, I would prosecute the people who ordered it and they would all go to jail! Because Torture is against the law! ~ Jesse Ventura

I love fat people. Every fat person says it's not their fault, that they have gland trouble. You know which gland? The saliva gland. ~ Jesse Ventura

Love is by far bigger than the government can ever be. ~ Jesse Ventura

As governor, there isn't a lot I can do beyond that to crack down on crime. Law enforcement is really a local issue. It's the cops' job to tighten down on criminals. ~ Jesse Ventura

Anyone can run for office. When I ran for Governor of Minnesota, the only requirement was that you had to be a state resident. I believe you had to be over thirty five years old, something like that. That's the way our country was founded. That anyone can run for office. That you're not required to be a lawyer, you're not required to be anything. ~ Jesse Ventura

I'm going to put on my gravestone, 'He never owned a cell phone.' ~ Jesse Ventura

If you're smart enough to go to college, you should be smart and creative enough to pay for it. ~ Jesse Ventura

I have an idea about voting, how about on every ballot we include "None of the above". People may laugh at that, but what that is, it is a vote of no confidence in your government and I'm willing to bet that in some elections, 'None of the Above' would win. Imagine if you won the election but lost to 'None of the Above'. Wouldn't that make you re-think your positions? ~ Jesse Ventura

I follow the teachings of Major General Smedley Darlington Butler, United States Marine Corps. He won two Congressional Medals of Honor, and he wrote the highly controversial antiwar book 'War is a Racket.' ~ Jesse Ventura

I'm saying 9/11 was to get us into Iraq and get us into Afghanistan. ~ Jesse Ventura

When the Constitution gave us the right to bear arms, it also made us responsible for using them properly. It's not fair of us as citizens to lean more heavily on one side of that equation than on the other. ~ Jesse Ventura

If you start studying history closer, you'll find that most all wars are based on false flag operations to get people - to convince the people that they're under attack in some way so that they will support the wars. ~ Jesse Ventura

If you were to come to Minnesota, I could have you locked up like that. That's power. ~ Jesse Ventura

Why should I have to hide the fact that I don't believe there's a supreme being? There's no proof of it. There's no harm in saying you're an atheist. It doesn't mean you treat people any differently. I live by the Golden Rule to do unto others, as you'd want to be treated.
I just simply don't believe in religion, and I don't believe necessarily that there's a supreme being that watches over all of us. I follow the teachings of George Carlin. George said he worshipped the sun. He was a fellow atheist. I'm in good company ... Albert Einstein, Mark Twain, Charles Darwin. It's not like I'm not with good company and intelligent people. There have been some good, intelligent atheists who have lived in the world. ~ Jesse Ventura

I speak my mind. That's who I am. ~ Jesse Ventura

My father used to always say to me that, you know, if a guy goes out to steal a loaf of bread to feed his family, they'll give him 10 years, but a guy can do white-collar crime and steal the money of thousands and he'll get probation and a slap on the wrist. ~ Jesse Ventura

I believe to go along to get along is unpatriotic. I believe that agreeing with your government on everything they do is unpatriotic. I believe a patriot stands up and holds your government's feet to the fire. Because if you do that, you will get good government. ~ Jesse Ventura

I'm against the draft. I believe we should have a professional military; it might be smaller, but it would be more effective. ~ Jesse Ventura

I ain't got time to bleed. ~ Jesse Ventura

It's convenient how everyone who supports waterboarding and torture, or "enhanced interrogation techniques" as they like to call it, have never experienced it themselves. Yet everyone who has, myself included, are firmly against it. ~ Jesse Ventura

Government has no place telling you who to fall in love with and who to marry. ~ Jesse Ventura

My children were attacked by the Minnesota media when I was governor. ~ Jesse Ventura

If you buy the flag it's yours to burn. ~ Jesse Ventura

You can have solid third party politics, but the problem is you're all lumped in to all the fringe groups. That's a stereotype that happens. ~ Jesse Ventura

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud. ~ Jesse Ventura

What do we have for veterans? Government-run health care. I understand that. Congressmen and senators ... they get five choices of government-run health care. Why should a congressman and senator get anything more than a regular citizen does? Why are they privileged and the rest of us aren't? ~ Jesse Ventura

I live in Mexico in the wintertime, and I live off the grid down there. ~ Jesse Ventura

I'm saying that there's way more to 9/11 than mainstream media and our government have told us. ~ Jesse Ventura

Let's face it: WikiLeaks exists because the mainstream media haven't done their job. ~ Jesse Ventura

I will not be a Democrat or a Republican. They are the problem, not the solution. We need to abolish political parties in this country. ~ Jesse Ventura

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition. ~ Jesse Ventura

Remember that government doesn't earn one single dollar it spends. In order for you to get money from the government, that money must first be taken from somebody else. ~ Jesse Ventura

When you drink fluoridated water, you're drinking liquid Prozac. You drink enough of it, even though it's a small amount, drink it for decades and decades and what does Prozac do to you? It dumbs you down; it makes you docile. ~ Jesse Ventura

I do not support the third party movement anymore. I now advocate the abolishment of all political parties. We've allowed the parties to take over the government. ~ Jesse Ventura

You can't legislate against stupidity. ~ Jesse Ventura

People in this country need to understand when you go to any airport in the United States, you are not protected by the Constitution or the Bill of Rights. They can do anything they want to you, and there is no where you can go to seek redress. ~ Jesse Ventura

There is no right religion, and no one can prove that there is. ~ Jesse Ventura

If you work for the federal government, the average salary is $7,000 higher than the private sector. Something's wrong with that, when you're making more money working for the government than you can working in the private sector. ~ Jesse Ventura

I don't want to spend the rest of my life in politics. When I'm finished with my term as governor, I'm going back to the life that's waiting for me in the private sector. ~ Jesse Ventura

I'm an equal opportunity despiser. ~ Jesse Ventura

There is much more to being a patriot and a citizen than reciting the pledge or raising a flag. ~ Jesse Ventura

Government cannot be your parent. ~ Jesse Ventura

I don't want Democrats in the boardroom and I don't want Republicans in the bedroom. ~ Jesse Ventura

If I were an innocent individual, flown to a foreign country and held for several years and tortured, I'd become a terrorist, too. I'd go to war against the U.S. ~ Jesse Ventura

In February 2003, I signed a three-year contract with MSNBC to host a talk show. Having recently decided not to run again for governor of Minnesota, I was still a pretty hot commodity. The show was originally scheduled for an hour, four nights a week. ~ Jesse Ventura

I went out to testify in front of the Ways and Means Committee out in Congress on open free trade to China. Now, this would affect literally every Minnesotan in some way or another, if not all Americans in some way or another ... The local media sent no one out to cover my testimony ... Well, then a couple weeks later, I go out to do The Young and the Restless, the TV soap opera, and everybody sends crews. We had to move them into a room in three different sections or three shifts of them because there was so much media covering that. ~ Jesse Ventura

When you reach a certain age in life, time becomes more important than money, and I think that happens in your 50s. ~ Jesse Ventura

I'm an Angus King independent. ~ Jesse Ventura

I view the United States, today, much like East Berlin. And I'm off the grid. I've tried for 20 years to warn the country about the Democrats and Republicans, and nobody's listening. ~ Jesse Ventura

Get every candidate to wear a NASCAR racing suit when they go debate; this way we can see how their sponsors really are. ~ Jesse Ventura

I don't take PAC money. I don't take special interest money. ~ Jesse Ventura

A vote is "wasted" when someone fails to vote their conscience. ~ Jesse Ventura

The priority of the Democrats and Republicans ... is to preserve ... power when [they have] it, and to gain power when [they do not]. [Their] collective priority ... is to make sure that, together, they control the electoral process and under no circumstances allow an independent or third party to infringe on their exclusive franchise. ~ Jesse Ventura

Don't vote for a Democrat or Republican, I have never voted for one in my life and I never will. ~ Jesse Ventura

You give me a water board, Dick Cheney and one hour, and I'll have him confess to the Sharon Tate murders.
(Larry King Live, May 11, 2009) ~ Jesse Ventura

I asked Dalai Lama the most important question that I think you could ask - if he had ever seen Caddyshack. ~ Jesse Ventura

I don't think I would want the responsibility for enforcing the death penalties. There's always the inevitable question of whether someone you gave the order to execute might truly have been innocent. ~ Jesse Ventura

I love my country, not my government. ~ Jesse Ventura

I never believe anything in the world of entertainment until it actually happens and the check clears the bank. ~ Jesse Ventura

I speak my mind. If it offends some people, well, there's not much I can do about that. But I'm going to be honest. I'm going to continue to speak my mind, and that's who I am ... ~ Jesse Ventura

I'm not allowed on FOX, and I'm not allowed on MSNBC. ~ Jesse Ventura

My position is that it isn't government's job to mandate patriotism. To me, mandating a pledge of allegiance to a government is something Saddam Hussein would do. ~ Jesse Ventura

Industrial hemp is a very useful plant. I challenged the attorney general to get rid of the criminal stigma associated with hemp so we can look at it in terms of how it might be useful. ~ Jesse Ventura

In the last recession, 99 percent of us have lost wealth, but did you know that the top 1 percent increased their wealth five times? It tells you they create recessions so they get wealthier. ~ Jesse Ventura

Al Gore, you've been a real inspiration. But a lot of other people who preach the global warming gospel aren't out to save the world. They're out to run it. ~ Jesse Ventura

I've been water-boarded, and I speak from experience, and it's torture. ~ Jesse Ventura

When I ran for governor of Minnesota, I only raised $300,000. ~ Jesse Ventura

The Constitution guarantees us our rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. That's all. It doesn't guarantee our rights to charity. ~ Jesse Ventura

Listening is as important as talking. If you're a good listener, people often compliment you for being a good conversationalist ... ~ Jesse Ventura

Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers. It tells people to go out and stick their noses in other people's business. I live by the golden rule: Treat others as you'd want them to treat you. The religious right wants to tell people how to live. ~ Jesse Ventura

The first thing out of Fidel Castro's mouth to me, he looked me right in the eye and said, 'You're a man of great courage.' ~ Jesse Ventura

Our military doesn't defend our American people. Our military is the strong-arm muscle of corporations. ~ Jesse Ventura

How come life in prison doesn't mean life? Until it does, we're not ready to do away with the death penalty. Stop thinking in terms of "punishment" for a minute and think in terms of safeguarding innocent people from incorrigible murderers. ~ Jesse Ventura

Well my question is if the federal courts don't have jurisdiction over a constitutional question then who the hell does? ~ Jesse Ventura

Governments are run by people. People can be bad. ~ Jesse Ventura

Barack Obama's large contributor was Goldman Sachs - same thing on the Republican side. If you go to both their conventions, you see the same lobbyists paying off both sides so they win either way. ~ Jesse Ventura

'The David Letterman Show' is a show of comedy. ~ Jesse Ventura

I've jumped out of an airplane 34 times. I've dove 212 feet under water. I've done a lot of things that defied death. ~ Jesse Ventura

Until you have hunted men, you haven't hunted yet. ~ Jesse Ventura

There are a lot of good causes out there, but they can't possibly all be served by government. ~ Jesse Ventura

The prohibition of drugs causes crime. You don't have to legalize, just decriminalize it. ~ Jesse Ventura

I wish they would pass a law where all Democrats and Republicans had to wear NASCAR racing suits, because if you look at the NASCAR drivers, it tells who their sponsors are. And if they do that, we could then become informed voters, because we would know who owns them. ~ Jesse Ventura

I'm kind of like Che Guevera. I lead the revolution, but at some point I turn it over to someone else. ~ Jesse Ventura

The pleasure was all yours. ~ Jesse Ventura

You have to accept the rule of law, even when it's inconvenient, if you're going to be a country that bides by the rule of law. ~ Jesse Ventura

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. ~ Jesse Ventura

Patriotism is voluntary. It is a feeling of loyalty and allegiance that is the result of knowledge and belief. A patriot shows their their patriotism through their actions, by their choice. ~ Jesse Ventura

In a free society, how can you commit a crime against yourself? ~ Jesse Ventura

Our theaters, our museums, our culture. We have everything New York has without the hassles. ~ Jesse Ventura

We're the Fascist States of America today, not the United States of America, because the corporations are in power. ~ Jesse Ventura

I've never been arrested in my life. Never had cuffs put on me, never been charged with a crime, never spent one day in jail. ~ Jesse Ventura

I also believe that government has no business telling us how we should live our lives. I think our lifestyle choices should be left up to us. What we do in our private lives is none of the government's business. That position rules out the Republican Party for me. ~ Jesse Ventura

Remember something, if you will, about voting: Voting is not a horse race, you're not going there thinking "Gee, I gotta pick the winner so I can brag to my friends 'Oh, I picked so-and-so and he or she won'". Voting is voting your heart and voting your conscience and when you've done that, don't ever, EVER let a Democrat or Republican tell you that you've wasted your vote because the fact is, if you DON'T vote your heart and conscience then you HAVE wasted your vote. ~ Jesse Ventura

I don't support abortion. I could never participate in one. But I think it would be a mistake to make them illegal again. ~ Jesse Ventura

[the downfall of our political system is the] buying and selling of politicians ... bribery. In the private sector, you're arrested for it. In the public sector, it's the norm ... ~ Jesse Ventura

I don't believe we need the government's help as much as some think we do. That belief sets me apart from the Democrats, since their way of dealing with everything is to tax and spend. ~ Jesse Ventura

You want to know my definition of gun control? Being able to stand there at 25 meters and put two rounds in the same hole. That's gun control. ~ Jesse Ventura

A car is a 2,000 pound projectile that can go 100 miles an hour. ~ Jesse Ventura

George Bush keeps saying that terrorists keep attacking us because we have freedom here in America. So what, the solution is to take away our freedoms and they won't attack us? ~ Jesse Ventura