Congressman Quotes

The most noticeable weakness of Congressmen is their timidity. They fear the use to be made of their "record." They are afraid ofmaking enemies. They do not vote according to their convictions from fear of consequences. ~ Rutherford B. Hayes

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, ~ Chris Colfer

If we have any problems, it's always with the government of the United States. ~ Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani

They are wise to the ways of Wall Street - and ... getting their fair share of the loot.( ... from who will be the head of NIH, to which honorary degree will go to whom, which congressman gets the campaign funds from AMPAC (the political arm of the AMA), and whether Medicare fees can be hiked a bit for the suffering specialist ... (or) to nominate their favorite for a Nobel Laureate ... ~ Edgar Berman

He did everything. He studied hard. He went to Harvard. He got married. He had children. He worked. He dreamed big. He pulled his bootstraps all the way up from his humble beginnings to the presidency. He lived the American Dream. And he was called an African Witch Doctor. People asked for his birth certificate. A congressman shouted at him "YOU LIE!" He faced the most recalcitrant Republican Congress ever that was elected by a constituency that wanted to "take the country back."If a black man can be elected as guardian of the American empire, do exactly that, and still not be shielded from racism, what hope is supposed to be left? ~ Mychal Denzel Smith

African American Congressman Bobby Rush wore a hoodie on the floor of Congress to make a point this week. And they threw him out. They said a hoodie is too scary for Congress. Too scary? Have you ever looked into Michele Bachmann's eyes? ~ Bill Maher

Having federal officials, whether judges, bureaucrats, or congressmen, impose a new definition of marriage on the people is an act of social engineering profoundly hostile to liberty. ~ Ron Paul

I was sent down to Cuba. Everything had been prepared with the help of Congressman Johnson and his staff. ~ Erich Leinsdorf

That's what a Congressman or a Senator is for
to see that too much money don't accumulate in the national Treasury. ~ Will Rogers

One congressman asked 'I just want to know if you've accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior. The minister looked stunned, and he said 'no.' The whole table almost fell on the floor. The congressman was quite serious. That was his litmus test. ~ Jim Sasser

I realize the congressman isn't in. I want you to deliver this message to him personally: Tell him to shut his goddamn mouth! ... I know we're working behind the scenes to protect the oil company from its victims. That's exactly why he needs to go mute. Those were the strict ground rules from the beginning of his term: no press conferences, no interviews except Fox, and sit like a silent lump in the committee ... Because he's fucking stupid! And I'm not going to let him throw this away! Do you have any idea how hard it was to get a moron like that elected? ~ Tim Dorsey

In some communities, I show up, and they say, 'Well, we haven't seen our Democrat congressman in 10 years.' ~ Rand Paul

Subect: Sigh.
Okay. Since we're on the subject...
Q. What is the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish?
A. Tsardines, of course.
Q. What does the son of a Ukranian newscaster and a U.S. congressman eat for Thanksgiving dinner on an island off the coast of Massachusetts?
A.?
-Ella

Subect: TG
A. Republicans.
Nah.I'm sure we'll have all the traditional stuff: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes. I'm hoping for apple pie. Our hosts have a cook who takes requests, but the island is kinda limited as far as shopping goes. The seven of us will probably spend the morning on a boat, then have a civilized chow-down. I predict Pictionary. I will win.
You?
-Alex

Subect: Re. TG
Alex,
I will be having my turkey (there ill be one, but it will be somewhat lost among the pumpkin fettuccine, sausage-stuffed artichokes, garlic with green beans, and at least four lasagnas, not to mention the sweet potato cannoli and chocolate ricotta pie) with at least forty members of my close family, most of whom will spend the entire meal screaming at each other. Some will actually be fighting, probably over football.

I am hoping to be seated with the adults. It's not a sure thing.

What's Martha's Vineyard like? I hear it's gorgeous. I hear it's favored by presidential types, past and present.
-Ella

Subject: Can I Have TG with You?
Please??? There's a 6a.m. flight off the island. I can be back in ~ Melissa Jensen

Forget public service. We all come here with good intentions, but as time passes, it becomes all about self-service and selfish survival. ~ Congressman X

On the card I wrote, "Thinking of you," and the picture was of my erect penis. I hope my local congressman got it OK. ~ Jarod Kintz

When the Populist congressman "Sockless" Simpson of Medicine Lodge, Kansas, misspelled his hometown while running for office, he said, "I wouldn't give a tinker's durn for a man who can't spell a word more than one way. ~ William Least Heat-Moon

You think your congressman is working all day to get you a job? He may want to. He or she is probably not a bad person. They probably want to do the right thing. But they can't. ~ Steven Van Zandt

Now, they're saying I groped a male staffer. Yes, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn't breathe and four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday. ~ Eric Massa

America, not Keith Ellison, decides what book a congressman takes his oath on, ~ Dennis Prager

A brick could be used as a deodorant deterrent. Just ask any stinky Congressman. ~ Jarod Kintz

So far, she had nothing but fear and the nauseating sensation that the hour would pass and she would be just as helpless as when she'd first left the Fuller house. The same problems that had plagued her before were on an endless loop that took up every conscious thought. Her mother: persistently unavailable. Huckleberry: worthless. Jacob Mayhew: probably working for the congressman. Fred Nolan: ditto, or maybe he had his own agenda. Congressman Johnny Jackson: Paul's secret uncle. Powerful and connected, and duplicitous enough to stand with the Kilpatrick family during press conferences, as if he had no idea what had happened to their precious child. Adam Quinn: possible friend or foe. ~ Karin Slaughter

The difference between a thief and a congressman: When a thief steals your money, he doesn't expect you to thank him. ~ Walter E. Williams

Former Enron founder Ken Lay and CEO Jeffrey Skilling found guilty in the Enron case. Ken Lay is so guilty I'm surprised people aren't calling him Congressman Ken Lay. Wait 'till these guys find out in prison that insider trading has a whole new meaning. ~ Jay Leno

I've done a whole lot of things. I've had the pleasure of introducing two presidents, several senators and congressmen. ~ Roy Acuff

You can't use tact with a Congressman! A Congressman is a hog! You must take a stick and hit him on the snout! ~ Henry Adams

Like most of my colleagues, I promise my constituents a lot of stuff I can never deliver. But what the hell? If it makes them happy hearing it, and they're stupid enough to believe it, shame on them. ~ Congressman X

What do we have for veterans? Government-run health care. I understand that. Congressmen and senators ... they get five choices of government-run health care. Why should a congressman and senator get anything more than a regular citizen does? Why are they privileged and the rest of us aren't? ~ Jesse Ventura

If you're self-employed, between jobs, or can't get insurance through work, you'll have access to affordable health insurance as good as Congressman Paul Ryan's. ~ Kathleen Sebelius

Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can. ~ Mark Twain

I think you'll make a great Congressman, Sam Porter. The people of New York couldn't ask for anything better.
New Jersey."
What do you mean, New Jersey?"
I live in Jersey. That's my home state."
But what about people of New York? Don't we deserve honest representatives, too?" It was one thing when he was going to be her Congressman, but he was going to be someone else's Congressman, not hers?
New York has good representatives."
But not as good as you, Sam. We deserve the best."
Move to Jersey. ~ Kathleen O'Reilly

I was much more comfortable and a much better congressman running in a district that was 37 percent black, where I had to have a white constituency to get elected, than I would have been if I was in a 75 percent black district. ~ Andrew Young

I was introduced to Congressman Lyndon B. Johnson. The young Congressman was very friendly. ~ Erich Leinsdorf

Congressman Upton insisted that he hadn't changed his position on environmental issues. But Jeremy Symons, then a senior vice president of the nonpartisan National Wildlife Federation, said that the transformation was "like night and day." He continued, "In the past the committee majority viewed the Clean Air Act as an effective way to protect the public. Now the committee treats the Clean Air Act and the EPA as if they are the enemy. Voters didn't ask for this pro-polluter agenda, but the Koch brothers spent their money well and their presence can be felt." At ~ Jane Mayer

A Republican Congressman, Rep. Chris Lee, was caught flirting with a woman trolling for dates on Craigslist and sent her a shirtless photo of himself. He lied about his age and his marital status. He said he was 39 and divorced. He's 46 and married, though being a Republican congressman, I'm guessing he's really 60 and gay. ~ Bill Maher

Lyndon Johnson. The junior congressman saw two things that no one else saw. The first was a possible connection between two groups that had previously had no link: conservative Texas oilmen and contractors - most notably his financial backer, Herman Brown, of Brown & Root - who needed federal contracts and tax breaks and were willing to spend money, a lot of money, to get them; and the scores of northern, liberal congressmen, running for re-election, who needed money for their campaigns. The second was that he could become that link. ~ Robert A. Caro

I understand the needs of both the military and the veteran, and that has helped me tremendously as a congressman. I am proud to serve on the House Committee on Veterans Affairs. ~ Phil Roe

Yet,in this same moment near the end of America,it is hard to imagine a current Congressman,Senator or cabinet member who would go to prison for the United States.Or,who would willingly be shot or stabbed for his nation, or his religion,or his family or almost anything except his own brilliant carreer.History is larded with irony. ~ Donald Charles Davis

You don't have to be a spiritual seeker, you can be a businessman dealing with the revolution in computers. You could be a congressman, or a scientist. No matter what area of life and endeavor we are in we are seeing the signs of new-paradigm thinking. ~ Marianne Williamson

No one pushed harder than Congressman Barney Frank to force banks and other financial institutions to reduce their mortgage lending standards, in order to meet government-set goals for more home ownership. Those lower mortgage lending standards are at the heart of the increased riskiness of the mortgage market and of the collapse of Wall Street securities based on those risky mortgages. ~ Thomas Sowell

A congressman sent a tweet that compared president Obama to Adolf Hitler. He has now apologized. It's not helping that he apologized to Hitler. ~ Conan O'Brien

The bureaucrats had gotten into a habit of solving every medical problem by building something so that a congressman could say, 'Here's what I did!' It didn't make any sense, but everybody did the same thing again and again. ~ Charles Duhigg

We've become a superficial nation obsessed with fluff. Americans may be hard-pressed to name their two senators or find Afghanistan on a map, but they know everything about the loopy Kardashians and Brad and what's-her-name. I worry about our country's future when critical issues take a backseat to the inane utterings of illiterate athletes and celebrity twits. ~ Congressman X

There was nothing exceptional about growing up as the son of a congressman. ~ Duncan D. Hunter

Talking with most people usually involves a search for truth. Talking with congressmen is strictly special effects. ~ Jack McDevitt

Nobody ever says to men, how can you be a Congressman and a father. ~ Patricia Schroeder

There is hardly a congressman prepared to go home until he has at least one speech printed and sent to his constituents, and he won't let anybody interrupt his harangue until he has made all his useful suggestions about the 24 states of the Union, and especially the district he represents. ~ Alexis De Tocqueville

I'm a Congressman, and can do whatever I want ~ Bob Filner

The idea that a congressman would be tainted by accepting money from private industry or private sources is essentially a socialist argument. ~ Newt Gingrich

At a time when special interest money is being showered on legislators in Washington, grassroots donors offer members of Congress a refreshing independence. The $25 and $50 donor is not looking for special favors. He or she is simply expecting their Congressman to go do the right thing. ~ John Sarbanes

I prefer a thief to a Congressman. A thief will take your money and be on his way, but a Congressman will stand there and bore you with the reasons why he took it. ~ Walter E. Williams

Congressmen who willfully take action during wartime that damages morale and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled, or hung ~ Abraham Lincoln

Come Senators, Congressman, please heed the call, don't stand in the doorway, don't block the hall. ~ Bob Dylan

I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up. ~ Rod Blagojevich

Republican Congressman Duncan Hunter has filed papers to run for president. But in his official filing, he misspelled the word 'president.' Political experts say it's all part of Hunter's plan to attract Bush supporters. ~ Conan O'Brien

Unpleasant questions are being raised about Mother's Day. Is this day necessary? ... Isn't it bad public policy? ... No politician with half his senses, which a majority of politicians have, is likely to vote for its abolition, however. As a class, mothers are tender and loving, but as a voting bloc they would not hesitate for an instant to pull the seat out from under any Congressman who suggests that Mother is not entitled to a box of chocolates each year in the middle of May. ~ Russell Baker

Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it. -Andrew Young, author, civil rights activist, US congressman, mayor, and UN ambassador (b. 1932) ~ Andrew Young

Still, their affection for each other remained strong: while Baker was serving in Washington, the Lincolns honored him by naming their second-born son for the congressman. (Edward Baker Lincoln died tragically at age three in 1850.) When Baker finished his term, he dutifully handed off his House seat to Lincoln. ~ Harold Holzer

Rep. James Clyburn, the state's only black congressman
controls 20 percent to 25 percent of the primary vote. ~ Jim Clyburn

One GOP Congressman named Carlos Curbelo actually suggested that Donald Trump may be a 'phantom candidate' that has been planted by the Democrats. The DNC strongly denied this - while Hillary said, 'Crap, they figured it out! Take off the wig, Bill.' ~ Jimmy Fallon

A congressman actually apologized to BP's CEO for the way the company has been treated. How stupid are you when the CEO of BP is in the room and people think you're the moron? ~ Jay Leno

I was also a congressman. I had decided to run for office and had become a congressman with Queen Latifah. ~ Rob Reiner

Elect me as your congressman today, I promise you an Ilocano president in 20 years. ~ Ferdinand Marcos

The surface causes of Adams's anxieties are not difficult to discern. Every activist knew the penalty for treason. Every congressman knew that prison, perhaps death, would be his reward if the American rebellion failed. ~ John Ferling

A former congressman on his sexting habit: I have made terrible mistakes. I have not been honest with myself, my family, my constituents, my friends and supporters and the media. ~ Anthony Weiner

New Rule: Just because a country elects a smart president doesn't make it a smart country. A couple of weeks ago, I was asked on CNN if I thought Sarah Palin could get elected president, and I said I hope not, but I wouldn't put anything past this stupid country. Well, the station was flooded with emails, and the twits hit the fan. And you could tell that these people were really mad, because they wrote entirely in CAPITAL LETTERS!!! Worst of all, Bill O'Reilly refuted my contention that this is a stupid country by calling me a pinhead, which (a) proves my point, and (b) is really funny coming from a doody-face like him.

Now, before I go about demonstration how, sadly, easy it is to prove the dumbness that's dragging us down, let me just say that ignorance has life-and-death consequences. On the eve of the Iraq War, seventy percent of Americans thought Saddam Hussein was personally involved in 9/11. Six years later, thirty-four percent still do. Or look at the health-care debate: At a recent town hall meeting in South Carolina, a man stood up and told his congressman to "keep your government hands off my Medicare," which is kind of like driving cross-country to protest highways.

This country is like a college chick after two Long Island iced teas: We can be talked into anything, like wars, and we can be talked out of anything, like health care. We should forget the town halls, and replace them with study halls.

Listen to some of these stats: ~ Bill Maher

So what? A lobbyist cheated Indian tribes out of $25 million then laundered their money through phony Christian charities trying to stop other Indian tribes from getting casinos [on screen: 'Thou Shalt Not Compete'] and bribe congressmen in the process. Know what I call that? I call that business as usual in Washington. [on screen: 'Screwing Indians'] ~ Stephen Colbert

After the risky mortgage-lending practices fostered by government intervention led to massive defaults and foreclosures that caused financial institutions to collapse or be bailed out, Congressman Frank changed his tune completely. ~ Thomas Sowell

A Democratic congressman said that he worries that the IRS scandal might have a chilling effect on the IRA and that they might be afraid to audit people. So finally some good is coming out of all of this. ~ Jay Leno

Dan Coats, retiring senator from Indiana, a mild-mannered man, a former United States ambassador to Germany, former congressman, said of Ted Cruz he's the most self-centered, narcissistic, pathological liar I have ever seen.And he said, you can quote me on that. ~ Mark Shields

A congressman is a pig. The only way to get his snout from the trough is to rap it sharply with a stick. ~ Henry Adams

My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize ~ Hank Johnson

The congressmen and senators used to go have a drink in D.C. They would disagree all day long, but they would find that time to sit down and learn about each other personally. I think that's totally wiped out; I don't think it really exists anymore. ~ Zach Galifianakis

Republican Congressman Pete Hoekstra has charged the Bush administration with keeping programs secret from Congress. Somehow no one from Congress reads the New York Times, I guess. ~ Jay Leno

It is hard to miss the irony in the fact that the very same week that Republicans were publicly heralding Congressman Paul Ryan's plan to inject market forces into the American health care system, they were crafting a budget deal to strip them from the health reform law. ~ Ron Wyden

Will Rogers once said it is not the original investment in a Congressman that counts; it is the upkeep. ~ John F. Kennedy

As a state senator and then a congressman, I've had the privilege of trying to do good things for people to whom I owe so much and can never fully repay. ~ Gary Ackerman

I never imagined working with CEOs, congressmen or the military, yet I make regular visits to the Pentagon, stop by the Capitol now and then and sit down with leaders of all kinds of companies. ~ Simon Sinek

The not-quite-sort-of lie works here too - often an ad will announce that "Congressman Johnson voted for a bill that gave tax breaks to companies like Enron." True - although the bill allowed all companies to accelerate depreciation of copying machines. Yes, Enron benefited, but Enron also benefited from the revolution of the Earth around the sun. Hardly an argument to freeze the planet in one spot. ~ James Lileks

New Yorkers your voices must be heard. Tell your state Congressmen to support same sex marriage bill. All you need is love ~ Madonna Ciccone

Insincerity from the heart. It's just another component of politics as usual. ~ Congressman X

The Romney-Ryan plan would replace the guarantee of Medicare with a voucher that wouldn't keep up with costs. Congressman Ryan says that he wants Medicare to be around for his grandkids. Well, if that's the case, he had better vote for Barack Obama! ~ Debbie Wasserman Schultz

Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have a sexual relationship with an intern. Only Congress would need a rule to tell them cheating on their wives is not ethical. Don't we have that rule? I believe it's called the Sixth Commandment. ~ Jay Leno

Ultimately, I wanted to own a big truck, exercise my second Amendment rights, listen to hardcore music, and let my congressman know how poorly he represents me. None of this could occur in France. ~ Mark Twight

He (Newt Gingrich as a freshman congressman) was both passionate about his goals and coldly analytical in his means. ~ Thomas E. Mann

I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman. ~ Bruce Baum

Most destructive of all to black self-esteem has been the ideology of branqueamento or whitening. This theory was dreamed up in the 1920s to stop Brazil becoming a predominantly black country. White immigration from Europe was encouraged to stem the black tide. The black in Brazil will disappear within 70 years, said one congressman in 1923. ~ Kevin Jackson

A democratically elected congressman of the United States of America should not be talking of an ethnic divide in Afghanistan, should not be interfering in Afghanistan's internal affairs. ~ Hamid Karzai

By journalistic custom and D.C. law, of course, reporters don't carry guns to news conferences
and certainly not when the person at the lectern is the NRA's Asa Hutchinson, an unremarkable former congressman and Bush administration official whom most reporters couldn't pick out of a lineup. But the NRA wasn't going to leave any doubt about its superior firepower. ~ Dana Milbank

I went to my Congressman and he said quote quote, I'd like to help you son, but you're too young to vote. ~ Eddie Cochran

I would rather be known as 'Jim Kolbe, the trade expert in Congress who happens to be gay,' rather than 'Jim Kolbe, gay congressman from Arizona.' ~ Jim Kolbe

In those days, and later as a young man, I used to try to picture in my imagination the feelings and ambitions of a white boy with absolutely no limit placed up on his aspirations and activities. I used to envy the white boy who had no obstacles placed in the way of his becoming a Congressman, Governor, Bishop, or President by reason of the accident of his birth or race. I used to picture the way that I would act under such circumstances; how I would begin at the bottom and keep rising until I reached the highest round of success. ~ Booker T. Washington

Fossils were placed there by God to test our faith. - U.S. congressman Paul Broun ~ Dan Brown

What kind of government is this? This is a human being. This is not right, and I'm telling everybody you better call your congressman, because they're going to run your life. ~ Michael Schiavo

You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure
because he's got feathers on him, and don't belong to no church, perhaps;but otherwise he is just as much a human as you be. And I'll tell you for why. A jay's gifts and instincts, and feelings, and interests, cover the whole ground. A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman. ~ Mark Twain

You know that I am living proof that the American Dream is real. Growing up, our congressman cut through government bureaucratic red tape to help my mom buy our first house. That's the kind of congressman I'll be. ~ Geoff Davis

If I can go from burglar for the government to talk show host, you can go from entertainer to congressman. ~ G. Gordon Liddy

Already a congressman, to a mentor I hope sometime you run across something you think I can do well 24 hours per day. ~ Lyndon B. Johnson

Journalist:
Congressman Kucinich, I believe you're the only one here who voted against the PATRIOT act right away after 9/11. Why is that?
His Reply:
Because I read it. ~ Dennis Kucinich

Yesterday Gary Condit spent the whole day attending an agricultural meeting. Boy, that's when you know a congressman's in real trouble: when he spends the whole day actually working. ~ Jay Leno

That I am a national figure because I was the first person in 192 years to be at once a congressman, black, and a woman proves, I would think, that our society is not yet either just or free. ~ Shirley Chisholm