Bachelor Party Quotes

Xav sprinkled olive oil on his lettuce. 'Lola was very particular that it all had to fit properly.'
'Lola?' squeaked Diamond. I wanted to warn her not to rise to the bait Xav was dangling in front of her but it was too late.
Xav added some Parmesan and pepper. 'Suspicious, Diamond? You should be. This is a bachelor party I'm organizing, not a school outing, and it is going to tick all of Trace's boxes. Lola is either a very efficient water sports instructor or an exotic dancing girl; I'll leave it your imagination.'
I rolled my eyes at Diamond. 'Myabe she's both. I mean the guys will really go for that, I guess. Don't worry,Di, Luigi and his crew will not disappoint us girls.' Luigi was in fact Contessa Nicoletta's little bespectacled chef with whom I had been consulting about the menu for Friday, but the Benedicts weren't to know that. 'He has promised to provide something suitably spicy for our tastes. ~ Joss Stirling

He smells of secondhand cigar smoke and a brew of perfumes from his bachelor party, but it would be enticing foreplay to shower him fresh before sullying him anew. ~ Valentine Glass

At my bachelor party I had Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" play on repeat, while I enjoyed the spectacle of a midget stripper dressed like jet fuel (Rocket Man). ~ Jarod Kintz

It's important to marry someone, she said. Not because you need them to complete you or because you ought to be someone's wife by hook or by crook. It's just that worlds want to combine, they want to marry, and they use people to do it, the way you mix medicine in with something sweet, so it's easy to swallow. That's why we have to have all those silly things: a frilly dress and something blue and a bachelor party and a priest. Just so that a boy and a girl can live together and make babies? Posh. Because the big worlds inside us are mating, and they need the pomp. ~ Catherynne M Valente

You know how funerals are not for the dead, they're for the living? Bachelor parties are not for the groom, they're for the uncommitted. ~ Bill Murray

I haven't seen this many men dressed in women's clothing since my bachelor party ~ Bruce Willis

Let's go out to the parking lot so you can get some air," he says, putting an arm around me and hustling me out the door and through the restaurant.
We step outside, and I sway on my feet a little. Peter's trying not to smile. "You're drunk."
"I guess I'm a weightlight!"
"Lightweight." He pinches my cheeks.
"Right. Weightlight. I mean, lightweight." Why is that so funny? I can't stop laughing. But then I see the way he is looking at me, with such tenderness, and I stop. I don't feel like laughing anymore. I feel like crying. Look at the way he made my dad's bachelor party so special. Look at all the ways he loves me so well. I have to love him back just as much. ~ Jenny Han

Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn't be more eager to have mine behind me. So there's really no point. ~ Stephenie Meyer

I actually got stabbed at my friend's bachelor party. In real life. ~ Johnny Knoxville

Peter's mom told me he was talking about transferring to UNC next year. She wanted me to break up with him before he messed up his life for me."
"Damn! Peter's mom is kind of a bitch!"
"She didn't use those exact words, but that was the gist of it." I take a sip of tea. "I wouldn't want him to transfer for me either…My mom used to say not to go to college with a boyfriend, because you'll lose out on a true freshman experience."
"Well, to be fair, your mom never met Peter Kavinsky. She didn't have all the facts. If she had met him…" Trina lets out a low whistle. "She might've been singing a different tune."
Tears fill my eyes. "Honestly I regret breaking up with him and I wish I could take it all back!"
She tips up my chin. "Then why don't you?"
"I don't think he'll ever forgive me for hurting him like that. He doesn't let people in easily. I think I'm probably dead to him."
Trina tries to hide a smile. "I doubt that. Look, you'll talk to him at the wedding tomorrow. When he sees you in that dress, all will be forgiven."
I sniffle. "I'm sure he's not coming."
"I'm sure he is. You don't plan a man's bachelor party and then not show to the wedding. Not to mention the fact that he's crazy about you."
"But what if I hurt him again?"
She wraps both her hands around her mug of tea and takes a sip. "You can't protect him from being hurt, babe, no matter what you do. Being vulnerable, letting people in, getting hurt…it's all a par ~ Jenny Han

What's your dad doing for his bachelor party?"
I laugh. "Have you met my dad? He's the last person who would ever have a bachelor party. He doesn't even have any guy friends to have a party with!" I stop and consider this. "Well, I guess Josh is the closest thing he has. We haven't seen much of him since he went to school, but he and my dad still e-mail every so often."
"I don't get what your family sees in that guy," Peter says sourly. "What's so great about him?"
It's a touchy subject. Peter's paranoid my dad likes Josh better than him, and I try to tell him it's not a contest--which it definitely isn't. Daddy's known Josh since he was a kid. They trade comic books, for Pete's sake. So, no contest. Obviously my dad likes Josh better. But only because he knows him better. And only because they're more alike: Neither of them is cool. And Peter's definitely cool. My dad is bewildered by cool.
"Josh loves my dad's cooking."
"So do I!"
"They have the same taste in movies."
Peter throws in, "And Josh was never in a hot tub video with one of his daughters."
"Oh my God, let it go already! My dad's forgotten about that." "Forgotten" might be too strong of a word. Maybe more like he's never brought it up again and he hopefully never will.
"I find that hard to believe."
"Well, believe it. My dad is a very forgiving, very forgetful man. ~ Jenny Han

Massachusetts became the first state to marry gay couples, though lawmakers say allowing gay couples to get married raises a lot of questions. You know, such as: does that best man invite both guys to the bachelor party? ~ Jay Leno

Covered in slivered almonds and soaked in booze, Italian rum cake is everything kids hate about everything. No one even ate it. It just got thrown away. Cake Time is supposed to be the climax of a birthday, but instead it was a crushing disappointment for all. I imagine it's like being at a bachelor party only to find that the stripper has overdosed in the bathroom. ~ Tina Fey

It was hard to judge a man's full character by his bachelor party etiquette. ~ Lola Dodge

Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you? ~ Stephenie Meyer

Bachelor parties are for the married guys. ~ Christine Teigen

We're down in Mexico. It's for a bachelor party, so we go into a Mexican strip club ... I go back with this woman down a murky hallway, and then without missing a beat - these ladies are all business - she goes, 'Go ahead, take out your dong.' 'I'm not taking out my dong. And by the way, who uses the word dong? If you want to be hip to the lingo, they're not using the word dong up in the States. ~ Al Madrigal

Knowing Chris was getting married, his fellow Team members decided that they had to send him off with a proper SEAL bachelor party. That meant getting him drunk, of course. It also meant writing all over him with permanent markers-an indelible celebration, to be sure.
Fortunately, they liked him, so his face wasn't marked up-not by them, at least; he'd torn his eyebrow and scratched his lip during training. Under his clothes, he looked quite the sight. And the words wouldn't come off no matter how he, or I scrubbed.
I pretended to be horrified, but honestly, that didn't bother me much. I was just happy to have him with me, and very excited to be spending the rest of my life with the man I loved.
It's funny, the things you get obsessed about. Days before the wedding, I spent forty-five minutes picking out exactly the right shape of lipstick, splurging on expensive cosmetics-then forgot to take it with me the morning of the wedding. My poor sister and mom had to run to Walgreens for a substitute; they came back with five different shades, not one of which matched the one I'd picked out.
Did it matter? Not at all, although I still remember the vivid marks the lipstick made when I kissed him on the cheek-marking my man.
Lipstick, location, time of day-none of that mattered in the end. What did matter were our families and friends, who came in for the ceremony. Chris liked my parents, and vice versa. I truly loved his mom and dad.
I have a photo from ~ Taya Kyle

During December we are all ingesting, imbibing, and spending with a reckless abandon like a bachelor party on a guilt-free boondoggle. Everyone has the unspoken agreement that what happens in December stays in December. ~ Jim Gaffigan

No Socialist system can be established without a political police. Many of those who are advocating Socialism or voting Socialist today will be horrified at this idea. That is because they are short-sighted, that is because they do not see where their theories are leading them. No Socialist Government conducting the entire life and industry of the country could afford to allow free, sharp, or violently-worded expressions of public discontent. They would have to fall back on some form of Gestapo, no doubt very humanely directed in the first instance. And this would nip opinion in the bud; it would stop criticism as it reared its head, and it would gather all the power to the supreme party and the party leaders, rising like stately pinnacles above their vast bureaucracies of Civil servants, no longer servants and no longer civil. ~ Winston S. Churchill

I've seldom met somebody who is merely satisfied working alongside siblings. You typically have a binary outcome. They either are miserable and everyone starts to hate each other, which is an unfortunate outcome that we see too often, or it is really incredible, and there's tremendous energy and mutual respect, and the parties work really well together. I've found that the middle road typically doesn't happen. ~ Ivanka Trump

The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?' ~ Conan O'Brien

Tolerance of dissent is the hallmark of a mature party, and it is well past time for the Republican Party to grow up. ~ John McCain

Wedding is just a party by another name. ~ Sarah Morgan

While most people turn 21 and decide to go out and party, I turned 21 and decided that I was going to become somebody that I never thought I could be: somebody who cares about herself and her body, her future, and her health. ~ Nikki Reed

I will say that Bernie Sanders are the opposite end of the spectrum from Donald Trump. We see him leading right now in the Republican Party in an intractable way. ~ Rachel Maddow

I live right next to a grocery store and I don't know if it's the bachelor in me, but I just go in and shop for what I need for the day. I'm an idiot because I don't shop for the whole week. The check out clerks always crack jokes about the fact that I'm in there sometimes twice a day. ~ Seann William Scott

Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly. ~ Conan O'Brien

Dear Miss Hummingbird,


The leaves are turning green now, but not with envy. But they should be envious, because I, Jarod Ora Kintz, son of a thousand question marks, now have what every unemployed American most covets: a cat. Oh, and I've also got a new job. Almost forgot to mention it.

"What will you be doing?" you may be wondering, and "Is it legal?" Those answers, as you can imagine, are gray. But so are elephants. Gray, I mean. Elephants are gray, not illegal, even though a certain political party in this country that's represented by an elephant mascot certainly does things that to the normal citizen would be considered illegal. But I digress.


Turns out that right under "Mayor of Orafouraville" on my resume, I can now add "Concierge at the Five-Star Hotel." Concierge is just a fancy term that means something similar in Latin, I'm sure.


My job will be to arrange activities for hotel guests for everything from opera tickets to dinner reservations to even organizing the burial of a loved one - though not if the disposal of the body is to be kept secret because a murder has occurred. Murder is such a ghastly (and ghostly) way to spoil dinner reservations for two, wouldn't you agree? Or, rather, wouldn't you not disagree?


This job will allow me to meet interesting people from all over the planet, and possibly even other planets (like Pluto, if that's still even a planet).


It's a full-time job, at least par ~ Jarod Kintz

The Democratic and Republican parties, two apparently distinct political entities feeding at the same corporate trough. ~ Ralph Nader

Now the only sure basis of an alliance is for each party to be equally afraid of the other ~ Thucydides

Oh my God. Party punch. He'd brought a woman with the social age of twelve to the Citadel. He deserved everything he got. ~ Annabel Joseph

My nards aren't clean
Ive been partying
With Charlie Sheen ~ Simon Rex

Because I live in south Florida I store cans of black beans and gallons
of water in my closet in preparation for hurricane season.
I throw a hurricane party in January. You're my only guest.
We play Marco Polo in bed. The sheets are wet like the roof caved in.
There's a million of me in you. You try to count me as I taste the sweat
on the back of your neck. I call you Sexy Sexy, and we do everything twice.
After, still sweating, we drink Crystal Light out of plastic water bottles.
We discuss the pros and cons of vasectomies. It's not invasive you say.
I wrap the bedsheet around my waist. Minor surgery you say.
You slur the word surgery, like it's a garnish on a dish you just prepared.
I eat your hair until you agree to no longer talk about vasectomies.
We agree to have children someday, and that they will be beautiful even if they're not.
As I watch your eyes grow heavy like soggy clothes, I tell you When I grow up
I'm going to be a famous writer. When I'm famous I'll sign autographs
on Etch-A-Sketches. I'll write poems about writing other poems,
so other poets will get me. You open your eyes long enough to tell me
that when you grow up, you're going to be a steamboat operator.
Your pores can never be too clean you say.
I say I like your pores just fine. I say Your pores are tops.
I kiss you with my whole mouth, and you fall asleep next to my molars.
In the ~ Gregory Sherl

I am the Democratic Party's candidate for president who happens also to be a Catholic. I do not speak for my church on public matters - and the church does not speak for me. ~ John F. Kennedy

The Bund (Jewish) is free not to trust the party, but it cannot expect the party to vote no confidence in its own self. ~ Leon Trotsky

Neither the discontent of party friends, nor the allurements constantly offered of confirmations of appointees conditions upon the avowal that suspensions have been made on party grounds alone, nor the threat proposed in the resolutions now before the Senate that no confirmations will be made unless the demands of that body are complied with, are sufficient to discourage or deter me from following in the way which I am convinced leads to better government for the people. ~ Grover Cleveland

Joy and grief are never far apart. In the same street the shutters of one house are closed, while the curtains of the next are brushed by shadow of the dance. A wedding-party returns from church, and a funeral winds to its door. The smiles and the sadness of life are the tragi-comedy of Shakespeare. Gladness and sighs brighten and dim the mirror he beholds. ~ Robert Aris Willmott

Sounds like someone's hit the terrible twos."
"Threes actually," Quil corrected. "You missed the party. Princess theme. She made me wear a crown, and then Emily suggested they all try out her new play makeup on me."
"Wow, I'm REALLY sorry I wasn't around to see that."
Don't worry, Emily has pictures. Actually, I look pretty hot. ~ Stephenie Meyer

A university is not a political party, and an education is not an indoctrination. ~ David Horowitz

We are inclined to confuse freedom and democracy, which we regard as moral principles, with the way in which they are practiced in America with capitalism, federalism, and the two-party system, which are not moral principles but simply the preferred and accepted practices of the American people. ~ J. William Fulbright

The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either - but right through every human heart. ~ David Brooks

The lack of fiscal responsibility is one of the main reasons I finally left my old Party. ~ Lincoln Chafee

It is amazing to a great many of us how Congress ignores the Constitution. For example, the 13th Amendment clearly states: "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States or any place subject to their jurisdiction." Currently, the average working person pays over forty percent of his earnings to the Government (City, State and National) and IT IS NOT VOLUNTARY! Did the people vote for these taxes? NO! They were imposed by a Communist dominated Congress. Therefore, Congress has declared that each and every wage earner is a SLAVE of the Government and the Government has a right to steal their money. WHY? ~ Robert Gates Sr.

The spiritual efficacy of all encounters is determined by the amount of personal ego that is in play. If two people meet and disagree fiercely about theological matters but agree, silently or otherwise, that God's love creates and sustains human love, and that whatever else may be said of God is subsidiary to this truth, then even out of what seems great friction there may emerge a peace that - though it may not end the dispute, though neither party may be "convinced" of the other's position - nevertheless enters and nourishes one's notion of, and relationship with, God. Without this radical openness, all arguments about God are not simply pointless but pernicious, for each person is in thrall to some lesser conception of ultimate truth and asserts not love but a lesson, not God but himself. ~ Christian Wiman

In our democracy, political parties have to raise funds to campaign and put their policies to the electorate, and as a proud supporter of the Labour Party, I am happy to be in a position where I can make a contribution to its ongoing work. ~ David Sainsbury, Baron Sainsbury Of Turville

I never knew anyone yet who got up at six who did anything more useful between that time and breakfast than banging a tennis ballup against the side of the house, waiting for the more civilized members of the party to get up. ~ Robert Benchley

You might ask yourself why you want to surprise your readers in the first place. A surprise ending is sort of like a surprise party. Probably some people, somewhere, enjoy having friends and trusted colleagues lunge at them in the sudden blinding light of their own living room, but I don't think most of us do. ~ Jincy Willett

A lot of lip service gets paid to being honest, but no one really wants to hear it unless what's being said is the party line. ~ Colin Quinn

Beyond just writing about falling in love and out of love and wanting to do certain things and going out and partying and all the things that I grew up writing about, I want to write about deeper things. ~ Joan Jett

Wow. Pioneers with ice-cream."
Joshua felt motivated to defend his home. "Well, it doesn't have to be like the Donner Party, Sally- ~ Stephen Baxter

It's very simple. If the American people care about a lot of things including corruption in government, then, in fact, if you use the power to appoint in order to do political business, to clear fields, to save your party money and so on, if it's not a crime - and I believe it is - it certainly is business as usual, politics of corruption. ~ Darrell Issa

The gusto of one, the indignation of the other; the challenge of the one party, the response of the other; the eloquence and the comedy, the passion and the issues were ours-no other country can provide them. ~ Theodore White

He seemed evidently more fond of controversy than of truth, and the whole turn of his conversation indicated that he derived his religious security rather from the adoption of a party, than from the implantation of a new principle. ~ Hannah More

The whole purpose of having a party is to have fun one needs to understand that it's not just about free snacks. ~ Suraj Gyawali

In any country, governance issues are there. Challenges are there, pressures are there. When multi-party coalitions take decisions, sometimes delays will be there. But that is what democracy is: it is beauty or it's challenge. ~ Anand Sharma

I wonder ... if the Republican Party really wants to be branded right now as the party of tax cuts and torture? I mean that's what they're selling. ~ Chris Matthews

I was in London. It's a long way to go for a very long party, sitting there for six hours not having a cigarette or a drink. It's a waste of time. ~ Albert Finney

The CDU, the great party of the center, is back. It is the biggest party in parliament. We will make what we can of this great result. ~ Edmund Stoiber

I've always wondered what it means to the Republican Party to be pro-Israel. My husband says that is is because certain sects of Christianity need Jews in Israel for the second coming. ~ Jill Soloway

While the word "republic" derives etymologically from the Latin "res publica" - which literally means "the people's thing," what a republic or a "republican form of government" is today remains debatable; but what it is not is clear: No matter its political composition, a government that does not adhere to the rule of law, is ruled by a president who dictates, courts that legislate, and a legislature that is elected by a minority, led by the few, and administered by members who fail to embody the will of the people, represent party caucuses and factious special interests, overlook executive overreach, transfer legislative powers, and maintain monarchic lengths of time in office - and all of this to the detriment of justice, the Union, and the Constitution - is not a republic or republican form of government but something else. ~ Anonymous

I think it's selfish to go out partying all the time, especially if you have little ones in your family. ~ Miley Cyrus

In New York, if you weigh under 200 pounds and decline so much as a cookie at a co-worker's party, women will flock to your side, assuring you of your appealing physique. This is how skittish we are about the dangers of anorexia and the pressures of body image. ~ Sloane Crosley

I represent the Democratic party ... I've never been nor do I ever plan to be a John McCain supporter. I support Barack Obama. ~ Young Jeezy

It is legitimate to have one's own point of view and political philosophy. But there are people who make anger, rather than a deeply held belief, the basis of their actions. They do not seem to mind harming society as a whole in the pursuit of their immediate objective. No society can survive if it yields to the demands of frenzy, whether of the few or the many. ~ Indira Gandhi

I think a New Guard-type of Republican - Eric Cantor is a rising star in the party. ~ Andrea Tantaros

As long as we cling to the superstition that we must look to government for money supply, instead of requiring it to look to us, just so long must we remain the subjects of government and it is vain to follow this or that policy or party or ism in the hope of salvation. We can control government and our own destiny only through our money power and until we exert that power it is useless for us to debate the pros and cons of political programs. ~ E.C. Riegel