Ambrose Quotes

ANIMAL, n. An organism which, requiring a great number of other animals for its sustenance, illustrates in a marked way the bounty of Providence in preserving the lives of his creatures. ~ Ambrose Bierce

INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Another factor: Christianity offered opportunities for advancement in the church to intelligent young men, some of whom might otherwise have become mathematicians or scientists. Bishops and presbyters were generally exempt from the jurisdiction of the ordinary civil courts, and from taxation. A bishop such as Cyril of Alexandria or Ambrose of Milan could exercise considerable political power, much more than a scholar at the Museum in Alexandria or the Academy in Athens. This was something new. Under paganism religious offices had gone to men of wealth or political power, rather than wealth and power going to men of religion. For instance, Julius Caesar and his successors won the office of supreme pontiff, not as a recognition of piety or learning, but as a consequence of their political power. ~ Steven Weinberg

Andrew Johnson was a Southerner generally who proclaimed that his native state of Tennessee was a country for white men. ~ Stephen Ambrose

The practice of perfect virtue does not require teaching, but instructs others. ~ Ambrose Of Milan

A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable. ~ Ambrose Bierce

In the nineteenth and twentieth centuries you have these great nation states hurling their young men at one another. The victory was really going to rest on who could do the best job of bringing up their kids to become efficient and effective soldiers. That's pretty grandiose, I guess, but I do think that, and thank God it's been the armies of democracy that have emerged from this as the triumphant armies. ~ Stephen Ambrose

Doubt, indulged and cherished, is in danger of becoming denial; but if honest, and bent on thorough investigation, it may soon lead to full establishment of the truth. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. ~ Ambrose Bierce

ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn. ~ Ambrose Bierce

PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by pressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience. ~ Ambrose Bierce

PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method ... of obtaining money by false pretences [by] "reading character" in the wrinkles [of] the hand. The pretence is not altogether false ... for the wrinkles in every hand submitted plainly spell the word "dupe." ~ Ambrose Bierce

Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you. ~ Ambrose Bierce

An Italian proverb says: The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses. ~ Ambrose Bierce

DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters. ~ Ambrose Bierce

rights, all true men engage. From women this ancient faith commands ~ Ambrose Bierce

Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another. ~ Ambrose Bierce

To the American people I bid a fond farewell. Guard your liberties. It is the trust of each generation to pass a free republic to the next. And if I know you right, you will rouse yourself from slumber to ensure exactly that. ~ Ambrose Evans-Pritchard

Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Lieutenant Welsh remembered walking around among the sleeping men, and thinking to himself that 'they had looked at and smelled death all around them all day but never even dreamed of applying the term to themselves. They hadn't come here to fear. They hadn't come to die. They had come to win. ~ Stephen E. Ambrose

Nothing graces the Christian soul so much as mercy; mercy as shown chiefly towards the poor, that thou mayest treat them as sharers in common with thee in the produce of nature, which brings forth the fruits of the earth for use to all. ~ Saint Ambrose

USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence for this Holy Triad an industrious writer may hope to produce books that will live as long as the fashion. ~ Ambrose Bierce

PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it. ~ Ambrose Bierce

When I go to Rome, I fast on Saturday, but in Milan I do not. Do you also follow the custom of whatever church you attend, if you do not want to give or receive scandal. ~ Saint Ambrose

Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one. ~ Ambrose Bierce

I've got ice water running through my veins, I'm cool. ~ Dean Ambrose

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Do you think there's any way someone like Ambrose could fall in love with someone like me?" Fern caught Bailey's gaze in the mirror again, knowing he would understand.
"Only if he's lucky. ~ Amy Harmon

COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own. ~ Ambrose Bierce

All science is a two-edged sword. It is pure only in the mind, at conception, as an idea, an equation, or just some new way of looking at things. But once it's out there in the world, it becomes whatever the world wants it to be. Germ warfare, nuclear holocaust, or a cure for cancer. ~ David Ambrose

MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Do you know what a myth is, Jefferson?" I asked him. "A myth is an old lie that people believe in. White people believe that they're better than anyone else on earth--and that's a myth. The last thing they ever want is to see a black man stan, and think, and show that common humanity that is in us all. It would destroy their myth. They would no longer have justification of having made us slaves and keeping us in the condition we are in. As long as none of us stand, they're safe. They're safe with me. They're safe with Reverend Ambrose. I don't want them to feel safe with you anymore. ~ Ernest J. Gaines

MAMMALIA, n.pl. A family of vertebrate animals whose females in a state of nature suckle their young, but when civilized and enlightened put them out to nurse, or use the bottle. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others. ~ Ambrose Bierce

PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution. ~ Ambrose Bierce

It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better. ~ Ambrose Bierce

MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt. ~ Ambrose Bierce

LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth. ~ Ambrose Bierce

RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, "Homo ventrambulans". ~ Ambrose Bierce

MULTITUDE, n. A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration. ~ Ambrose Bierce

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect. ~ Ambrose Bierce

HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin. ~ Ambrose Bierce

I saw 'Food, Inc.' last night - it was like a horror movie. I'm definitely thinking about my food supply now and how I want to grow my own. ~ Lauren Ambrose

WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven. ~ Ambrose Bierce

CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself. ~ Ambrose Bierce

IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors. ~ Ambrose Bierce

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. ~ Ambrose Bierce

F-word. It substituted for adjectives, nouns, and verbs. It was used, for example, to describe the cooks: "those f - ers," or "f - ing cooks"; what they did: "f - ed it up again"; and what they produced. David Kenyon Webster, a Harvard English major, confessed that he found it difficult to adjust to the "vile, monotonous, and unimaginative language." The language made these boys turning into men feel tough and, more important, insiders, members of a group. Even Webster got used to it, although never to like it. ~ Stephen E. Ambrose

REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian. ~ Ambrose Bierce

You can manufacture weapons, and you can purchase ammunition, but you can't buy valor and you can't pull heroes off an assembly line. ~ Stephen E. Ambrose

Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. ~ Ambrose Bierce

SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect. ~ Ambrose Bierce

This is only a record of broken and apparently unrelated memories, some of them as distinct and sequent as brilliant beads upon a thread, others remote and strange, having the character of crimson dreams with interspaces blank and black
witch-fires glowing still and red in a great desolation. ~ Ambrose Bierce

ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection. ~ Ambrose Bierce

WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to. ~ Ambrose Bierce

There is no time of life past learning something. ~ Ambrose

RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself. ~ Ambrose Bierce

RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic. ~ Ambrose Bierce

I came to L.A. to work and become a better actress, not to be a star. ~ Lauren Ambrose

The creator and arbiter of beauty is the heart; to the male rattlesnake the female rattlesnake is the loveliest thing in nature. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Men who expect universal peace through invention of destructive weapons of war are no wiser than one who, noting the improvement of agricultural implements, should prophesy an end to the tilling of the soil. ~ Ambrose Bierce

ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice. ~ Ambrose Bierce

The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two. ~ Ambrose Bierce

He did all of this without thinking but with care. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Over the next two months Eisenhower labored ~ Stephen E. Ambrose

Even before Watergate and his resignation, Nixon had inspired conflicting and passionate emotions. ~ Stephen Ambrose

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. ~ Ambrose Bierce

ROMANCE, n. Fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of Things as They Are. In the novel the writer's thought is tethered to probability, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination ... ~ Ambrose Bierce

Friends never cheat on each other, or take advantage, or lie. Friends do not spy on one another, yet they have no secrets. Friends glory in each other's successes and are downcast by the failures. Friends minister to each other, nurse each other. Friends give to each other, worry about each other, stand always ready to help. Perfect friendship is rarely achieved, but at its height it is an ecstasy. ~ Stephen Ambrose

Evolution is baseless and quite incredible. ~ John Ambrose Fleming

OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer ... ~ Ambrose Bierce

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed. ~ Ambrose Bierce

A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures. ~ Ambrose Bierce

It does you no good to see the number two or number three man in the corporation-you have to get through to number one. ~ Stephen Ambrose

ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us. ~ Ambrose Bierce

POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others. ~ Ambrose Bierce

The more sophisticated we get, the more advanced our buildings and vehicles become, the more vulnerable we are. ~ Stephen Ambrose

Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding. ~ Ambrose Bierce

World War II, the atomic bomb, the Cold War, made it hard for Americans to continue their optimism. ~ Stephen Ambrose

Except a man fear the Lord, he is unable to renounce sin. ~ Ambrose

ABRUPT, adj. Sudden, without ceremony, like the arrival of a cannon- shot and the departure of the soldier whose interests are most affected by it. Dr. Samuel Johnson beautifully said of another author's ideas that they were concatenated without abruption. ~ Ambrose Bierce

There's no free will," says the philosopher; "To hang is most unjust." "There is no free will," assents the officer; "We hang because we must. ~ Ambrose Bierce

I think it's just natural when you're governing, that it's not always easy to remain as pure in principle as you'd like to be. ~ Rona Ambrose

KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Inexpedient: Not calculated to advance one's interests. ~ Ambrose Bierce

INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things. ~ Ambrose Bierce

ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him. ~ Ambrose Bierce

I love you," he said quickly. "If I don't come back ... "
"No," Ezra hissed. "No, you must."
"Know I loved you a lifetime's worth," Ambrose gasped. "A lifetime. ~ Abigail Roux

Abscond - to move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another. ~ Ambrose Bierce

San Francisco is the place where most people were last seen ~ Ambrose Bierce

Optimism, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with disproof - an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious. ~ Ambrose Bierce

The devil tempts that he may ruin; God tests that he may crown. ~ Ambrose

At the core, the American citizen soldiers knew the difference between right and wrong, and they didn't want to live in a world in which wrong prevailed. So they fought, and won, and we all of us, living and yet to be born, must be forever profoundly grateful. ~ Stephen E. Ambrose