Allergic To Bullshit Quotes

Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit. ~ Will Smith

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit. ~ Richard Pryor

I expected Dracula to come jumping out any second. If he did I'd have held up a cross, cause he's allergic to bullshit. ~ Richard Pryor

I got this bad allergy - I'm allergic to bullshit. ~ Jim Cornette

Leftie loosely is the way
to relax a set old screw
as rightie tightly thinks
new bullshit to pursue ~ Cornelia "Connie" DeDona

And even if all that other bullshit were true, why me? What makes you think that a walking calamity such as myself would be even a fraction of a smidgen qualified to Kill people?"

"Well, you did just shiv your own uncle with a stick."

Lex shrank a little. "That's . . . different."

"And you beat up all those kids at school."

"Yeah, but - hey, that's not fair. It's not like I wanted them dead or anything."

He raised an eyebrow. "So what you're saying is that maybe you're not really as bad a kid as everyone thinks you are. ~ Gina Damico

At one time I was so much involved in the religious bullshit that I used to go around calling myself a Christian Communist, but as Janov says, religion is legalised madness. ~ John Lennon

I amazed myself, above all, with how well I was able to manage. Michel got to school on time, his teeth brushed and his clothes clean. More or less clean: I was less critical of a few spots on his trousers than Claire would have been, but then I was his father. I've never tried to be 'both father and mother' to him, the way some half-assed, home-made-sweater-wearing head of a single-parent household put it once in some bullshit programme I saw on afternoon TV. ~ Herman Koch

Wrath: look at how their folklore portrays our species. There's Dracula for Christ's sake, an evil bloodsucker who preys on the defenseless. There's piss-poor B movies and porn. And don't get me started on the whole Halloween thing. Plastic fangs. Black capes. The only thing the idiots got right are that we drink blood and that we can't go out in daylight. The rest is bullshit, fabricated to alienate us and stimulate fear in the masses. Or just as offensive, the fiction used to create some kind of mystique for bored humans who think the dark side is a fun place to visit. ~ J.R. Ward

The key to a good life: excess in moderation. They'll tell you moderation is the key to life, but that's bullshit. ~ Doug Stanhope

I told them I didn't have time for this bullshit, and if either of them wanted to ask a lady out, he could do it by text message like a normal person. ~ Robin Sloan

We're together. You're mine. Which means, I give a shit. I'm always going to give a shit. We're going to fight, we're going to make mistakes, we're probably going to drive each other fucking crazy because, like I said earlier, you're a loon." I open my mouth to protest, but he keeps on talking. "Don't tell me I don't care about you, because it's bullshit. Don't tell me I'm not in this with you, because I am. I'm in it, sunshine. And I care - a hell of a lot more than I ever thought I would." He drops his forehead to rest against mine, and his voice loses a tiny bit of its edge. "This relationship - it's happening. You and me - we're partners. Equal partners, with equal feelings, and equal fucking chances of getting hurt. You got me? ~ Julie Johnson

I have a theory that those mutants retain some memory of what they were in life, and that draws them to where they used to live. That's probably bullshit, but since I seem to be the only man alive, my theories are the best in this part of the world. ~ Manel Loureiro

People say it takes 10 years to change your life. It's bullshit. It takes a moment, a second. But it may take you 10 years to get to the point of finally saying, "Enough." ~ Tony Robbins

You should never stick something that you are allergic to into your mouth, especially if that thing is cats. ~ Lemony Snicket

In life, you can choose to cry about the bullshit that happens to you or you can choose to laugh about it.
I choose laughter. ~ Kevin Hart

This would be the moment to say 'I love you', although you never know what you get back, like 'moi non plus', statistically the most honest answer (moi non plus, French, used by Serge Gainsbourg, the one and only basis for his fame, this noun phrase, meaning "me neither"), or 'I love you too', but uttered unconvincingly, or 'I love you too', uttered more convincingly, although you know it's bullshit. ~ Michael Ampersant

Is that what I am? I don't know what the hell I am anymore."
"Oh, bullshit. You're a guy, a human being. Just another poor son of a bitch who doesn't want to be alone when the sacred ginmill closes. ~ Lawrence Block

I started thinking about the endless bullshit about quotas, and how certain types of character are fine "as long as it's important to the story," and so on, started thinking about the absence of the abject. ~ Hal Duncan

Years ago, homosexuals were given special status within the tribe. They had powerful medicine. I think it's even more true today, even though our tribe has assimilated into homophobia. I mean, a person has to have magic to assert their identity without regard to all the bullshit, right? ~ Sherman Alexie

I don't want to date her; I just want to be around her. She's ... different."
"Different how?" America asked, sounding irritated.
"She doesn't put up with my bullshit, it's refreshing. You said it yourself, Mare. I'm not her type. It's just not ... like that with us."
"You're closer to her type than you know," America said. ~ Jamie McGuire

My aim is to be understood by everyone. I reject the 'depth' that people demand nowadays, into which you can never descend without a diving bell crammed with cabbalistic bullshit and intellectual metaphysics. This expressionistic anarchy has got to stop ... A day will come when the artist will no longer be this bohemian, puffed-up anarchist but a healthy man working in clarity within a collectivist society. ~ George Grosz

Your very great pardon, Cousin," said Sphene, "but this having meetings so we can plan to have meetings business is bullshit. I want to talk about ancillaries. ~ Ann Leckie

I feel like ... I don't have a wife, I don't have a kids, but ... I see rappers and I'm like, I know that's fake. I know how much you make, this is all bullshit. But people are buying into it, and you shouldn't have that power. I'm legit trying to make honest moves so that all of us can grow. I want to make a show where my sister can work on and become a producer because she can't get in, no one's leting her. I want to make things where people can actually grow. A place where people can actually be honest. ~ Donald Glover

Nous avons ete amies," I added. "There,that's two in French, and using past perfect, no less."
I couldn't see his expression clearly. It flet like a long time before he said anything. "Ella..." He paused, then, "What happened? Between you and Anna?"
"Other than the fact that I'm a fashion-impaired poor kid who draws doorknobs? Haven't a clue."
Alex leaned forward. Now I could see his face. He looked annoyed. "Why do you do that? Diminish yourself?"
"I don't-"
"Bullshit."
I could feel my cheeks flaming, feel my shoulders curving inward. "I don't-"
"Right.Don't.Just don't, with me, anyway. I like you better feisty."
I couldn't help it; that made me smile. "Did you really just say 'feisty'?"
"I did.It's a good word."
"It's am old word, favored by granddads and pirates."
"Yar," Alex sighed.
"Face it.You're just an old-fashioned guy."
"Whatever.Three...?"
"Three," I said, and changed my mind midthought. "I haven't been able to decide if Willing is the second best thing that ever happened to me, or the second worst."
"What are the firsts?"
"Nope.Uh-uh.It is not for you to ask, Alexander Bainbridge, but to reveal."
He drained his glass and rolled it back and forth between his hands. "I had all these funny admissions planned, but you've screwed up my plans. Hey. Don't go all wounded-wide-eyed on me. It's cute, that Bambi thing you have going, but beside the point.Now I have to rethink."
"You don ~ Melissa Jensen

There is no cure except to live the hell out of our lives, to take it apart, to put it back together, to dig it all up, and then fill the hole. To help ourselves and one another to the best of our abilities. To believe everything entirely, while also calling bullshit for what it is. ~ Cheryl Strayed

Because at the end of the day, we're all lost. We're all cracked. We're all scarred. We're all broken. We're all just trying to figure out this thing called life, you know? Sometimes it feels so lonely, but then you remember your core tribe. The people who sometimes hate you, but never stop loving you. The people who always show up, no matter how many times you've fucked up and pushed them away. That's your tribe. These people, these struggles, this is my tribe. So yeah, we fall apart, but we'll fall together. We'll stand up - together. Then, at the end of all the bullshit, all of the tears, all of the hurt, we'll take a few steps at a time. Then we'll take a few deep breaths, and we'll walk each other home. ~ Brittainy C. Cherry

Because the same as any man, women were entitled to a fuss-free sex life should they so choose. And it didn't make us sluts, or whores, or any of the other nasty, misogynistic, double-standard bullshit that got thrown a woman's way when she didn't fit with the traditional ideals of who and what a female should be. ~ Kylie Scott

The other New Age bullshit bullet to dodge is the constant
aggressive sale of 'wonder nature cures.'
Some are no better than snake oil, but others are true healing substances taken out of context, refined, and made into a supplement that you are told you must take every day (at great expense).
Don't get sucked into the bullshit.
Learn about your own body, learn about substances and how they work, and do not get trapped in the endless New Age loop of pseudoscience. ~ Josephine McCarthy

People assume it takes years and months to love someone and that our affection must be rationed to only the best of the best. Well, I think that's bullshit. Life's too short not to tell those we love that they mean something to us. ~ Lydia Michaels

I clenched my jaw with determination. "It won't work, Angel. I have to sing about love, relationships, and sex. You know, bullshit like that. A song about my fucking heart being ripped to shreds because my mother is dying isn't going to make an album, least of all a single. ~ Katie Ashley

Turner's openness is starting to become more and more appealing to me. At least I know what I'm getting with him. And I still need to tell him about Dax's kiss. That, and his proposition. I haven't had even a single second to get him alone since, but the secret is burning a hole in my pocket. I need it gone. It's like I'm allergic to the fuckers now. ~ C.M. Stunich

In the privacy of my room, armed with a mirror, shaving cream, razor, and bowl of water, I sat on my floor with a towel propped under my bare ass. Leaning back against my bed with my legs wide open as if I were about to give birth, I shaved everything off. My lady parts looked like a barren desert after a massive forest fire. I saw parts of myself that had long vanished beneath pubescent growth.
Suddenly, I felt sexy. There was something about going bare that made me feel sensual and touchable. But that was short lived. I was ill prepared for my skin's reaction to the change. I completely broke out. My pussy flushed as razor bumps shot across my flesh as if I'd had an allergic reaction to my underwear. It took weeks of applying antibiotic ointment to calm my skin. ~ Maggie Young

This, to Lissa, seems to be the main thing that university teaches you – how to bullshit convincingly. The better the university, the better the bullshit. ~ Anna Hope

I don't believe in love, I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient. You get in and out with maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in, so they can get laid. And they end up hurting each other, because it was all based on lies to begin with. If that is what you want, then go and find yourself a pretty little girl, and get married. ~ Brian Kinney

My advice to people who want to teach is pretty simple and very likely to be ridiculed: don't believe the bullshit. You're not there to help students get skills for a workplace. You're not there to make them more marketable. You're not there to provide them with answers to petty, superficial questions. You're not there to impress them – or yourself – with the latest technological wonder that promises to make something "better" but will probably only shorten some algorithmic process and benefit an employer. You're not there to mass produce replaceable parts for the machinery of the global economy. You're there for one reason and one reason only: to make them better people than they were when they came in. ~ Peter K. Fallon

He was miffed because he hadn't been the center of all my attention the night before. Pathetic. It would be enough to make me laugh, except he was also accusing me of dereliction of duty. I couldn't let my own Source believe I wouldn't do my duty. It would be difficult for him to do his job if he thought I wouldn't be doing mine. Plus it was irritating.
I drained the last of my coffee.
Karish looked horrified. "Zaire, woman, how can you gulp it down like that when it's still hot?"
Because I was a Shield. I gestured at the waiter. "You're left-handed," I said as my mug was filled. "But you use your right when you eat. You drank three mugs of ale and ate two bowls of the stew. You enjoyed it very much, even though you don't like turnip."
"Actually," he interrupted me curtly, "I'm allergic to turnip."
I almost smiled. Was he trying to shake my confidence? Amateur. "If you were allergic to turnip you wouldn't have touched the stew at all." Wouldn't want hives defiling that perfect skin. "You eat your bread like a woman - "
"What the hell does that mean?"
"You tear it off in chunks instead of biting into the whole slice. And you slather all sides with butter. That's disgusting, by the way." Butter was not icing and shouldn't be treated as such. "You sat straight in your chair, as you are now, without touching the back, despite certain fatigue. I would guess you spent some of your formative years with a wooden rod up your spine." He leaned back in ~ Moira J. Moore

What happens when you die? Well, we're not completely sure. But the evidence seems to suggest that nothing happens. You're just dead, your brains stop working, and then you're not around to ask annoying questions anymore. Those stories your heard? About going to a wonderful place called 'heaven' where there is no more pain or death and you live forever in a state of perpetual happiness? Also total bullshit. Just like all that God stuff. There's no evidence of a heaven and there never was. We made that up too. Wishful thinking. So now you have to live the rest of your life knowing you're going to die someday and disappear forever."
"Sorry. ~ Ernest Cline

Since I'm allergic to various things, the army wouldn't accept me during the war, and I got into the Office of War Information, which sent music to Europe. ~ Elliott Carter

I'm over here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that. That looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my entire life, and it's B.S. - excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry; I'm like a single mother. Look, we all know home-ec is a joke - no offense - it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bullshit - and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this shitty food - no offense - and I just think that I don't need to cook tiramisu. When am I gonna need to cook tiramisu? Am I going to be a chef? No. There's three weeks left of school, give me a fuckin' break! I'm sorry for cursing. ~ Seth

Bullshit!" Thor shouted at the stage, causing the actor playing Estelle to look at the audience. Thor added, "Just leave. Be done with this nightmare of a play! Goddamn cowards! ~ Dylan Callens

I've stopped wanting to do any work at all. All work is bullshit. Everyone knows that. No matter how many telephones and extensions, no matter how many secretaries, no matter how many names in the rolodex. It's all bullshit. ~ Irena Klepfisz

If it's not your style to stretch and go the extra mile to make sure our customer experience is great, you're going to have an allergic reaction to this company. You probably won't stay. If you do try and stay, but can't adapt to the culture then it will reject you like a virus from a healthy immune system. ~ Jeff Bezos

I'd heard a lot of bullshit in my life, but "I have to be your only one" might've secured itself in the number one spot. ~ Whitney G.

Bullshit. The only thing it is good for is fertilizing the garden. Remember that. ~ Hannah Herrera

I used to tell you everything," I said, wistfully recalling all the letters and phone calls from years past.
"You did."
No bullshit.
Honesty.
I lifted up to my tiptoes, so I could almost look him eye to eye, and said, "I'm really looking forward to having sex with you, Quentin."
At my admission, he threw his head back and filled the entire first floor of his house with laughter. ~ J.B. Hartnett

There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa. ~ John Madden

Cat Rambo: Where do you think the perennial debate between what is literary fiction and what is genre is sited?

Norman Spinrad: I think it's a load of crap. See my latest column in Asimov's, particularly re The Road by Cormac McCarthy. I detest the whole concept of genre. A piece of fiction is either a good story well told or it isn't. The supposed dichotomy between "literary fiction" and "popular fiction" is ridiculous. Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Mailer, did not have serious literary intent? As writers of serious literary intent, they didn't want to be "popular," meaning sell a lot of books? They wanted to be unpopular and have terrible sales figures to prove they were "serious"?

I say this is bullshit and I say the hell with it. "Genre," if it means anything at all, is a restrictive commercial requirement. "Westerns" must be set in the Old West. "Mysteries" must have a detective solving a crime, usually murder. "Nurse Novels" must have a nurse. And so forth.

In the strictly literary sense, neither science fiction nor fantasy are "genres." They are anti-genres. They can be set anywhere and anywhen except in the mimetic here and now or a real historical period. They are the liberation of fiction from the constraints of "genre" in an absolute literary sense. ~ Norman Spinrad