Accidentallove Humor Love Quotes

You're jealous and it's adorable ~ CSW1995

Because ... most of us think that the point is something to do with work, or kids, or family, or whatever. But you don't have any of that. There's nothing between you and despair, and you don't seem a very desperate person.'
'Too stupid.'
'You're not stupid. So why don't you ever put your head in the oven?'
'I don't know. There's always a new Nirvana album to look forward to, or something happening in NYPD Blue to make you want to watch the next episode.'
'Exactly.'
'That's the point? NYPD Blue? Jesus.' It was worse than he thought.
'No, no. The point is you keep going. You want to. So all the things that make you want to are the point. I don't know if you even realize it, but on the quiet you don't think life's too bad. You love things. Telly. Music. Food. ~ Nick Hornby

Love is annoying like that. It takes away your sense of humor and self-preservation. ~ Audrey Hart

A smart wife is one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband can't afford another woman. ~ Miriam Defensor Santiago

Gideon laughed. "I like to be direct."
"Okay," I said. "But I warn you, I like to be evasive, inserutable and generally send mixed messages."
"I doubt it."
"Human interaction is not my strong point," I told him.
"Not seriously."
"Seriously," I said. Thinking: There is so much about me he doesn't know.
Gideon put his hand on my leg. "What's your strong point, then?"
"Goats," I told him. "I am excellent with goats. ~ E. Lockhart

Life is just like the game of poker, you never know what cards you will get. Sitting against the people, you can either win with the king or live on a joker. Many times in life you are forced to play the blind bet, and achieve overwhelming success, with loads of cash in your pocket or you may reach disastrous conclusions, losing everything you have got.
That's the reason I love playing poker. ~ Prerna Varma

Do you think you have the right to give me orders now?"
The Archangel of New York, a creature so lethal that part of her feared him even now, lifted the hair off her nape, brushed his lips across her skin. "Of course. You are mine." No hint of humor, nothing but stark possession.
"I don't think you've quite got the hang of this true love thing. ~ Nalini Singh

For me, I really love 'Tim and Eric' and 'Dr. Steve Brule' and a lot of the Adult Swim shows, so I like strange, weird, sometimes slightly upsetting humor. ~ Gillian Jacobs

I've learned that it doesn't matter how your husband squeezes the toothpaste, the important thing is how he squeezes you. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

...I love to drive fast. It's a rush. ~ Stephen Few

So, okay. He was basically an amalgamation of every redheaded man to ever turn my crank (and how!). And he lived in a popular gay resort town, which meant the chances were above average that he might actually be interested. Watching him trot lightly down those stairs to the beach, I realized what my objective this summer would be.
Agent Carlisle, your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to find out which of these residences belongs to Mr. Strawberry-Blond Hunka Burnin' Love and convince him to do you on every horizontal surface - and against a few of the vertical ones. ~ Amelia C. Gormley

Why love is never like the movies ~ Holly Bourne

Body language translation: hell yes, dipshit ~ Shay Rucker

So where were we?"
"I was stepping back," he says, "and you were chastising me for it."
I chuckle. "Ah yes. So, shall I take matters into my own hands, or do you have the proper tool for the job?" I kiss his palm and then glance down at the lump in his towel.
"Well, miss." His voice has a slight southern twang. "A skilled lawman knows how to choose the right tool for the job, and that - " He motions with his head, " - is not the one I plan to use right now. Sorry to disappoint."
"I hate it when you get cocky. ~ D.L. Orton

Hey!" Mena exclaimed "Don't knock Jeopardy. I love that show"
"So do I" Max admitted.
"I like it when I know the answers." Logan added.
Trent turned to Logan, "Dude, if you hate the show, all you had to do was say so. ~ Amanda Kelly

I've got to have wheels," Theo called after him, and swore under his breath as he heard his father
walk down the stairs. "You might as well be dead out here without wheels." He flopped back on the
bed to brood up at the ceiling.
Maddy just shook her head. "You're such a moron, Theo."
"You're so ugly, Maddy."
"You're never going to get a car if you nag him. If I help you get a car, you have to drive me to the
mall twelve times, without being mean about it."
"How are you going to help me get a car, you little geek?" But he was already considering. She
almost always got what she wanted.
She sauntered into the room, made herself at home. "First the deal. Then we discuss ~ Nora Roberts

I've fallen in love with you and it pisses me off. ~ Michelle Gable

You are my whole heart, Scarlet. And this is breaking it.'
My heart cracked open and clear dropped out of me. My mouth opened, and I looked round me and stamped my foot. 'Does this look like a good time to tell me that, you damn stupid boy?' I meant to sound mean but my voice wobbled. 'Now?'
He gave a little smile. 'My foul-mouthed warrior. ~ A.C. Gaughen

I had a dream about you. You were you, but you were many - a multitude of mannequins, each named Manny. And I was me, but I was Dark Jar Tin Zoo, and as such I made love to you - all of you. Then I woke up alone, naked, cuddling a mannequin I named after you who smells like you, because I spray it with the same fragrance you used to wear. Is that crazy? No, I didn't think so either. ~ Dora J. Arod

So does that mean we get Eric, too?" Willa said. "Because Eric is definitely hot, and if I had my choice I'd take Eric over some white-haired king merman any day. ~ Ridley Pearson

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains. ~ Bauvard

She looked like she believed in something, or wanted to, and I hoped to hell it wasn't God, not in the way The Dad believes, because all that does is make him forced and desperate. No, it was something else, not just that I saw a pretty girl and just got all excited. I mean, yeah, that part is true, and she really was gorgeous, and the freckles covering her, the freckles on top of freckles all spread out and folding into one another made her skin look like it had grain and texture, like polished wood, like it would feel smooth to the touch, and so soft. I knew that. But it wasn't how she looked. ~ Brad Barkley

Cat love is genuine, because it's 10 percent devotion and 90 percent frustration and betrayal. - 67 REASONS WHY CATS ARE BETTER THAN DOGS ~ Jack Shepard

Mr. Sand, do you think it's possible to fall in love in the space of a single day?"
He smiled. "I wouldn't know. I only fall in love at night. Never lasts beyond breakfast, though. ~ Tessa Dare

Aw, fuck me," she muttered.
"Love to doll, but I'm sort of numb from the waist down," he said. "Can I take you up on it later, though? ~ Leia Shaw

If you want to impress a lady, respect her, because respect is an impressive act itself ~ Nitin Yaduvanshi

don't feel sorry for me.
I am a competent,
satisfied human being.

be sorry for the others
who
fidget
complain

who
constantly
rearrange their
lives
like
furniture.

juggling mates
and
attitudes

their
confusion is
constant

and it will
touch
whoever they
deal with.

beware of them:
one of their
key words is
"love."

and beware those who
only take
instructions from their
God

for they have
failed completely to
live their own
lives.

don't feel sorry for me
because I am alone

for even
at the most terrible
moments
humor
is my
companion.

I am a dog walking
backwards

I am a broken
banjo

I am a telephone wire
strung up in
Toledo, Ohio

I am a man
eating a meal
this night
in the month of
September.

put your sympathy
aside.
they say
water held up
Christ:
to come
through
you better be
nearly as
lucky. ~ Charles Bukowski

All's fair in love and war," said Ron brightly, "and this is a bit of both. ~ J.K. Rowling

She wanted to run her hands over him as he whispered the impassioned corollaries of non-Euclidean geometry. ~ Sherry Thomas

Even though its common knowledge these days, it never ceases to amaze me that all the richness of our mental life - all our feelings, our emotions, our thoughts, our ambitions, our love life, our religious sentiments and even what each of us regards us his own intimate private self - is simply the activity of these little specks of jelly in your head, in your brain. There is nothing else. ~ V.S. Ramachandran

In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back" and not "I love your back" before you continue the conversation. ~ Lemony Snicket

What is love when it's not for dopamine? ~ Saurabh Sharma

Ellen sighs and looks over at Leo. "I did that, didn't I? No goddamn manners. Like a couple of little opossums. This is why they say women can't have it all. ~ Casey McQuiston

He could totally be your boyfriend," [Angel] went on with annoying persistance. "You guys could get married. I could be like a junior bridesmaid. Total could be your flower dog."
"I'm only a kid!" I shrieked. "I can't get married!"
"You could in New Hampshire."
My mouth dropped open. How does she know this stuff? "Forget it! No one's getting married!" I hissed. "Not in New Hampshire or anywhere else! Not in a box, not with a fox! Now go to sleep, before I kill you! ~ James Patterson

Don't love the job kid. The Job is a whore, and she won't love you back. ~ James J. Kavanaugh

After she married the Duke of York, she immediately transformed his life, bringing him love, understanding, sympathy and support for which he had always craved. She inspired him, she calmed him and she enabled him for the first time in his life to believe in himself. Her sense of humor awoke his own, her natural gaiety lightened him. Their marriage was a rare union in which each complemented and enhanced the other. ~ William Shawcross