Margaret Cho Quotes

Why do Republicans hate gay marriage so much? They certainly don't hate gay prostitutes.

He must have been mad, because when things happen to women, we are supposed to remain silent. Our shame should make us want to act like nothing happened, maintain the decorum. I refuse to be silent, therefore I become some sort of criminal.
I think if we told our stories and said out loud what has happened to us, to warn other women, to comfort those who have had the same things happen to them, to show that we are not alone, the world would suddenly become a bigger and better place.

It's not the best between my family and me. There are so many crimes left unpunished, debts unpaid, white elephants in the middle of the room that no one will even offer a peanut to. We are in the red, emotionally speaking.

It's completely unsexy [Yello, "Oh Yeah" 1985]. It does capture that weird '80s materialism and "We're gonna get it on now" vibe. But it's a very juvenile approach. It also became a weird signal for comedy, in the sense that when you heard the song, it meant comedy was happening on screen. I feel like this song was probably done in a couple of minutes in a studio.

I think that reaching out to kids that feel really isolated is a life saving gesture that we have a responsibility as older queers to do.

I am in love with Counting Crows. It is so manly and American.

Its funny because when I did feel like I came out and I just felt like I was being truthful to myself, (it was at) that point I became very successful. So you know, it took a true kind of facing that truth of myself and being honest, that was when the real kind of fame or whatever that kind of stuff happened for me.

I've worked with incredible producers who have also taken my voice and brought it to another level. I think I have some natural abilities, but it's the technique that I've been learning from the best that keeps me going. I'm really honored to do it.

I think white people like to tell Asian people how they should feel about race because they're too scared to tell black people.

Comedy was the key to everything. I grew up fast and controlled my future by bringing it on faster than it naturally unfolded. I cheated myself out of a childhood but then got a running headstart into adulthood that no one else could keep up with.

This was an era where I was going out every night seeing Sparks, Berlin, Duran Duran, and Split Enz. Amazing acts doing really weird stuff, and I was very open to music and letting it transform me.

I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.

My inclination during sex always is to use sex toys. That's not something men are often used to.

There's this creepy connection between leather sex, Star Trek, and the Renaissance Fair.

I went to a performance-art high school, and a teacher there was signing me up for open-mic nights at the comedy club. I think about it now, and I think, 'Well, that may be inappropriate,' but it was great!'

I always thought that people told you that you're beautiful-that this was a title that was bestowed upon you ... I think that it's time to take this power into our own hands and to say, "You know what? I'm beautiful. I just am. And that's my light. I'm just a beautiful woman."

Some people are that - more than a parent, more than a role model, more than anything less than a religion.

If you are generous with your heart, you have no idea of the depth & breadth of love's reach.

Usually, if you smile at them and show some interest in the toy, they will give it to you. That's a straight up Democrat move!

I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose.

You have to adhere to a certain morality, a certain level of decorum, or else you'll be punished and labeled.

The newest victims of the nation's foreclosure crisis are pets, which is extremely distressing to me.

I feel like this song [Yello, "Oh Yeah"] was probably done in a couple of minutes in a studio. There was probably no thought behind it; they were just playing with some samples and threw it together. I feel like there's no dream behind the song. Usually there's a dream or some kind of passion attached to a song. This song feels very empty. It made a lot of money for the songwriters but at the expense of culture.

I didn't appreciate the young woman that I was, or my young beauty, because I was so obsessed with the fact that I felt fat. It's never good to add to anybody else's suffering. It's an important topic to really get the gravity and the importance of - dealing with dignity.

Success is meaningless if you can't sleep at night because of harsh things said, petty secrets sharpened against hard and stony regret, just waiting to be plunged into the soft underbelly of a 'friendship.'

Politics has less to do with where you live than where your heart is.

I was crazy about the song "Doot Doot," so I usually love this genre of weird, European electronic.

My mother goes crazy over babies. Some people just do. They love 'em! I never have. Babies scare me more than anything. They're tiny and fragile and impressionable - and someone else's! As much as I hate borrowing stuff, that is how much I hate holding other people's babies. It's too much responsibility.

There's a lot of guy comics who I think are funny, but I generally am more excited about a special or a show where there are females.

I helped deliver one of my best friend's children. I just was so amazed by my friend, because she was not just a woman, she was not just a mother. At that moment she was creation; she was life; she was God. And as I looked in her eyes, BOOM! Her pussy exploded.

I think political correctness really does help us when it serves us but it doesn't help us when it silences us.

I could definitely rock out to Kraftwerk's "Tour De France," Tubeway Army, or Gary Numan. All of that stuff has an infectious beat, but with "Oh Yeah," I can't even identify what's going on. It sounds like typewriter keys, a couple of synth notes and then this really deep "Oh yeah," which I always picture as Andre The Giant on vocals.

I love tattooed women, maybe because they are uncontrollable, they are themselves to the point of drawing symbols of their power on their skin. Talk about owning your own body, being in your body, claiming yourself. I love it. When the world is in an uproar over whether women should have a choice or not when it comes to their own bodies, being tattooed is one of the most visible choices of all.

I had been taking various lessons. I've also had a lot of incredible singers give me a ton of great advice. From Cyndi Lauper, who kind of taught me the basics, and I've also worked with Bird. She's a tremendous coach and she often coaches the contestants on American Idol. I've had a great amount of support.

The first thing you lose on a diet is brain mass.

Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart.

I don't want to bring myself down to place where there are hard and fast rules. In general I try to be compassionate, but that is dependent on the moment ultimately.

Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion.

You didn't hear Yello until later in the night in the bondage clubs. Things would start getting crazy and that's when you'd hear Yello. It was bad.

It is tragic that people who are incarcerated are unable to vote. They are probably the most important voices to listen to because they can tell us what we need to change.

I will never stop complaining.

Many of my contemporaries are atheists, and for good reasons. God isn't really the problem. Some of His followers are big assholes

People like Sean Penn, he is someone that is politically progressive and yet is still at the top of his game in the industry. So I love that he is out there just virtually shaming all the people that voted for Prop 8. He was a really great example of a straight ally, someone who used his talent and used his ability to further our cause, not just for political progressiveness but also specifically for gay marriage and specifically for Harvey Milk's entire life.

Why go through life feeling cheated? It does nothing but make you bitter.

I think I started out okay but with AIDS came a great deal of silence about gayness and this period of lose and morning, but at the same time a kind of feeling like you wanted to get back into the closet because being gay was such a terrible thing at that point.

I think self-deprecation is such a disease, and I want to cure everybody of it and so that's my contribution.

People are so sensitive about race that they can't hear someone speaking about their life in a very true way, or doing satire or political parody.

I am into belly dancing. I used to only hang with comics. Now I have friends who are dancers, and my whole house has a harem feel.

If you have sex, it should be for you, not for the other person.

I am always writing no matter what I am doing and no matter what it is for.

I became a comedian because I didn't want to be bullied anymore. Onstage I was safe.

I punished myself and avoided my reflection in mirrors and any windows. I would see myself reflected back, and I would look away, trying to pretend I didn't exist, because I hated myself so much.

Pot is an insidious drug because it can steal your life away from you, without you even being aware of it. I had a love affair with pot for ten years. Pot was my most devoted partner.

Tattooing is my social life, too, so most of my time is taken up with that. People like Henry Lewis, Mike Davis at Everlasting Tattoo.

When we're talking about feminism, I get sort of lost in the argument. Because as a woman of color, I don't know where I belong in this argument. Where do I say, 'I would be happy to have less money'? How do you fight for your rights when I'm super-grateful to be here at all?

Being called ugly and fat and disgusting to look at from the time I could barely understand what the words meant has scarred me so deep inside that I have learned to hunt, stalk, claim, own and defend my own loveliness.

I love singing and that's kind of my new thing.

It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you.

My life is anything but typical.

I think I heard it [ Ferris Bueller's Day Off ] earlier. This was being played on a station in San Francisco called Live 105, which was a new wave station. It was one of the first stations to change its format in the early '80s. There was this wave of really strange music coming from Europe like Kraftwork and Freur.

You don't become a Republican until you lose all your baby teeth and fall down a lot and get the croup and then become angry and bitter.

Over half the world menstruates at one time or another, but you'd never know it. Isn't that strange?

Comedians and people in general have a cultural right to talk about their own culture and race.

Snooki is really beautiful and looks quite like Elizabeth Taylor in 'Cleopatra.' She has the same bone structure. I'm kind of obsessed with 'Jersey Shore.' People don't give them enough credit for how entertaining they are.

Why can't all different types of women be considered beautiful? Why can't we can't we all be considered possible love interests?

If you are a woman, if you are a person of colour, if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, if you are a person of size, if you are person of intelligence, if you are a person of integrity, then you are considered a minority in this world.

I was raised to be self-conscious about weight. Then as I got older and started doing television, it became a career issue, like, 'You have to lose weight or you'll lose that job.'

she's a ho in sheep's clothing, and it's about time she told the truth, the ho truth, and nothing but the truth.

Miley Cyrus made some chinky eyes
Standing behind an Asian guy
I don't know if this should fly
As if there wasn't enough to despise
I wasn't necessarily a fan of
Her, her dad, or Hannah Montana
I tend to prefer the songs of Rihanna
Racism against Asians is simply bananas!
Oh Miley!
Chinky eyes make you look wily
prejudice isn't thought of so highly
it doesn't make us all smiley
Why is there nothing that Asians can do?
To make fun of other races as easily as you
Why isn't racism against Asians taboo?
Why are we always so racially screwed!
All you have to do is pull at your face
To make your eyelids resemble our race
This kind of joke has no proper place
Miley Cyrus is a disgrace!

I was lucky. I always had really great friends in my personal life, people always just knew who I was. It wasn't until I was in show business where that sort of changed or shifted at first. I have always had a great support network. I have had a lot of really wonderful, close friends.

[Fur] is really ridiculous. It's outrageous. We're not living in igloos. We don't need to trade pelts anymore. There is this diabolical idea that fur is fashionable. It's not. It's death. There's no excuse for it.

Christ's purpose was to really show how everyone can be loved and how everyone should be loved and accepted.

I was in Toronto when they had a severe outbreak of SARS - you know, Severe Asian Racism Syndrome. I was in the airport and there were these big snowboarder guys and they had white masks around their necks, and as soon as they saw me, they put their masks on. So I went cough, cough, cough ... You wanna egg rorr?

For women in my family, in Korean culture, women are really valued in their youth, and then when they get older, it's like they almost become irrelevant.

There are definitely racial problems in this country [the USA]. Comedy is a way we can figure out how to solve it, and how to solve it without making people really angry.

I've always wanted to have tattoos. I grew up around people who were very tattooed. It's a self-expression thing; it's also helped me claim my body as my own. So I think it's really positive. It's really joyful.

In America, I'm a foreigner because of my Korean heritage. In Asia, because I was born in America, I'm a foreigner. I'm always a foreigner.

I think it is really sad that when people lose their homes they kind of lose their minds too.

Your goal is to write that masterpiece. Yello's masterpiece was "Oh Yeah." Whatever I say about the song doesn't matter, because it has a huge impact on how we remember the era.

When I was 14, I told my mother I was going to drop out of high school and go do stand-up comedy. All she said was 'Oh maybe it's better if you just die,' because it was killing her that I was doing this.

That it is not the people who really feel that way, but it is people who have the most money to fire up these propaganda campaigns, these like, basically these lies that they are willing to lie to the public in order to manipulate them into doing what they want. And to me it doesn't make any sense.

There's vulnerability - so I have to make sure the audience is certain that I know what I'm doing. There's vulnerability there because my heart is open, but at the same time I definitely have a lot of "weapons" at my disposal. I have all the language, I have all of the moment - I have all of that to spar with somebody, to take anything on.

I'm not a body shamer. The word fat has been used to hurt me my entire life.

I really (became) very independent. I was start(ed) to write one-woman shows and mak(e) films and to me I think I really felt like my choice (was) more important than any kind of career goal.

Toxic shock was ominous because they never really said how you got it, or why, or what happened when you did get it. It just struck you dead in the cunt.

In my life, I don't wear makeup, I don't care about any of the trappings of the "feminine," or how I look in photographs. To me, it's irrelevant, which I think is really shocking to people in the industry that I'm in, because it's like, You should always look good, but I honestly don't care. It's not important to me.

In the early '90s, there was such a limited idea of what you could see on TV.

I want to get married but I look at husbands the same way I look at tattoos. I want one, but I can't decide what I want, and I don't want to be stuck with something I'd grow to hate and have surgically removed.

I have learned to love that which is meant to harm me, so that I can stand in the way of those who are less strong. I can take the bullets for those who aren't able to.

I started [performing] so young that it might have just been that I kind of had to grow up and make people understand that I was worth listening to, even though I was a child.

Privacy and security are those things you give up when you show the world what makes you extraordinary.

I think that gay people should have the right to get married by Elvis like everybody else.

If we have the opportunity to be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love's reach.

I use my work as catharsis. That's often the best thing that we can do, is to allow ourselves to rage because it's so rare that we get to. We're told to forgive - I don't want to! I don't want to forgive my abuser! I don't care to and I don't like that assumption that forgiveness makes me a better person. It's not authentic to me, my feelings and what I need. But everyone has their own way.

I want Jesus to come back and say 'THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT' -

My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex - ever. Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant.

If public figures came out of the closet, then the LGBT kids who saw them on TV would feel safe before they even knew why they felt dangerous. Maybe if enough people came out of the closet, gay kids would never feel dangerous. Maybe we could have a world where we could all just live. We may not all agree, but why can't we just all live?

Anything Vince Clarke, whether it's Erasure, Yaz, or Depeche Mode. It's basically R&B with synths. It's very sexy music and perfect for gay sex.

I'm writing a record of comedy songs. I'm doing all these collaborations with artists. I bring them lyrics and they write the music to it.

You don't need people to tell you how beautiful you are on there.