Social Humor Quotes

As children we are taught, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me!" As adults we teach those same words to our own children while simultaneously we sue one another for defamation or verbal assault. Ah, the naked leading the blind. ~ Bryan Oftedahl

But hippies always forget that old Gaea can be one heartless bitch. Spend a little time wandering lost in the woods as she attacks you and tries to reduce you to fertilizer." She snorted. "You won't be singing kumbayas very long." She paused to make sure Janus would get the point. "In this world, Gaea's the predator and we're the prey. ~ Jenifer Mohammed

The Constitution charges the president to "take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed"; Obamaland contends that it is simply engaging in executive discretion. But Judge Hanen countered, "Exercising prosecutorial discretion and/or refusing to enforce a statute does not also entail bestowing benefits" - such as Social Security cards, work permits, and the ability to travel. In supporting the president's imperious go-it-alone approach, Democratic leaders have acquiesced to what Turley calls "their own institutional obsolescence." They've handed a tool of mischief to the next chief executive. ~ Anonymous

Engineers are not the only professional designers. Everyone designs who devises courses of action aimed at changing existing situations into preferred ones. The intellectual activity that produces material artefacts is no different fundamentally from the one that prescribes remedies for a sick patient or the one that devises a new sales plan for a company or a social welfare policy for a state. ~ Herbert Simon

Yes ma'am," I said, "Anna Celeste's party is Saturday, but I don't need a ride ... No ma'am. It's because Anna Celeste is my Sworn Enemy for Life and I'd rather go face-down in a plate of raw chicken entrails than go to her party. Plus I'm not invited ... ~ Sheila Turnage

You know, as you get older... your body ages." -- Chris Pirillo ~ Chris Pirillo

Mrs. Cole was a perfect democrat. She hated all kids equally. ~ Stephen King

Nstead of Ralston saying any number of wonderful things that could have been appropriate for the precise situation in which they had found themselves -from You are the most unparalleled female I have ever known, to How can I ever live without you now that I've found heaven in your arms, to I love you, Callie, more than I had ever dreamed to even Shall we have another go?- he'd gone and mucked it up by apologizing. ~ Sarah MacLean

I hope your only rocky road is chocolate. ~ Amanda Mosher

The business that people do in LA on the social level is amazing. You go to a restaurant, bump into this guy or that guy. The next day you get a call, and they want you in their movie. ~ Kevin Bacon

Christ on a cracker, he's pretty. ~ Christina Lauren

The social business marketplace is effectively forcing brands to engage with consumers on the basis of something that is meaningful to them. More often than not, this takes the form of some core value that finds expression in a non-profit cause. ~ Simon Mainwaring

There was a knock at the door. It was Lumiere. The Beast bade him enter.
"Is there anything else you require tonight before retiring, master?"
"I - I thought we might go skating tomorrow."
Lumiere's eyebrows shot up. "Skating, master? You? You've never skated in your life!"
"Belle mentioned that she has skated before. Back in her village. I thought she might like to try it here. How hard can it be?"
"On the backside? Very," said Lumiere. ~ Jennifer Donnelly

The best way to vanquish your enemies on the Internet? Ignore them. ~ Austin Kleon

I am not sure precisely why we need to have privacy, but everyone knows for sure that we need to relax and not have to put on our social, outwardly looking face all of the time. ~ Ezekiel Emanuel

It's very hard to write humor. ~ Mark Strand

But man is above all a social and political animal; his relations with his fellow human beings form his most absorbing and important interest. ~ Logan Pearsall Smith

In terms of sheer annoyance, nobody I have ever known has compared to Sare Worthington, saver of the environment, native of Portland, Maine, forever wishing that she were from Portland, Oregon. Bitch should have just moved there. ~ Caroline Kepnes

When I was older, I found Iqbal's work hugely inspirational. He argued against an unquestioning acceptance of Western democracy as the self-governing model, and instead suggested that by following the rules of Islam a society would tend naturally towards social justice, tolerance, peace and equality. Iqbal's interpretation of Islam differs very widely from the narrow meaning that is sometimes given to it. For Iqbal, Islam is not just the name for certain beliefs and forms of worship. The difference between a Muslim and a non-Muslim is not merely a theological one - it is a difference of a fundamental attitude towards life. ~ Imran Khan

All right, when you guys start talking about waxing unmentionable places, that's my cue to get the hell out of here. ~ J. Lynn

Ms Roache's been marred by politics and she doesn't realize it. Luckily, there's much more to life and to friendship than one's party affiliation. Arts, sports, food are just some of the nobler interests we may share with people. Often, the only thing we share with someone is experiences, or "history" - those are, in a sense, our deepest friendships.
Politics already affects my affairs much more extensively than I'd be willing to allow. I refuse to let it take over my social life as well. ~ Massimiliano Trovato

Positive social awareness among the South African educated half-caste is zero. Teaching is a mechanical job. The best way of earning a living. ~ Peter Abrahams

At some point, Fatio had to tear those eyes away from Eliza and begin the same sort of dance cum duel with Waterhouse. Again, if Fatio had been a fellow of the Royal Society or a doctor at some university, Waterhouse would have had some idea what to make of him. As it was, Fatio had to conjure his credentials and bona fides out of thin are, as it were, by dropping names and scattering references to books he'd read, problems he'd solved, inflated reputations he had punctured, experiments he had performed, creatures he had seen. ~ Neal Stephenson

Feeling different, feeling alienated, feeling persecuted, feeling that the only way to deal with the world is to laugh - because if you don't laugh you're going to cry and never stop crying - that's probably what's responsible for the Jews having developed such a great sense of humor. The people who had the greatest reason to weep, learned more than anyone else how to laugh. ~ Mel Brooks

If we never make it, then don't ever to fake it... sometimes accepting a failure will make you be an expert in your own way, ~ Abhiyanda B

You can't has,' he whispered softly, 'not yours. ~ Wil Wheaton

We shoulder the unbearable, accomplish the impossible, and endure the unthinkable by the intensity of our love. ~ Rivera Sun

In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!" ~ Henny Youngman

Snooki is a bestselling author? Huh? What? I don't know if I should dumb down my book, shoot myself or find a publisher who'll settle for a rough draft written on a Pop-Tart and a coconut lotion handie.. ~ Geoffrey Hill

Girls are generally recognized as superior mimics. Those with [Asperger's Syndrome] hold back and observe until they learn the 'rules', then imitate their way through social situations. ~ Tony Attwood

And yet another moral occurs to me now: Make love when you can. It's good for you. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

History is going somewhere. And we know full well that He who does all things well will bring beauty from the ashes of world chaos. A new world is being born. A new social order will emerge when Christ comes back. A fabulous future is on the way. ~ Billy Graham

Awash with trepidation, he was suddenly on the mattress, lured like an errant sailor onto a siren's rocky shore. ~ Kevin Ansbro

Good afternoon, Gunnery Sargent."
"Any ideas…?"
Dr. Sloan turned slowly and stared up at Torren through narrowed eyes. "About what?"
"I'm sorry had you not noticed the birds?"
"Oh, ha!" Arms folded she resumed staring to the west. "I'm not doing anything. They just keep coming back."
"Maybe your jacket is…"
"…Is what? Stuffed with bird seed? Emitting matting coos on a frequency only these birds can hear? Looks like their big blue mother? You're so good at getting various and varying species to do what say, you tell them to shoo."
"Shoo?"
"Fine, pick a tougher word."
No longer trying to hide her smile, Torren leaned slightly forwards and said, "Scram."
The birds took off almost as one bird, their wings chopping at the air. ~ Tanya Huff

Satire is enjoyable compensation for being forced to think. ~ Edgar Johnson

I thought the two ugly ones were sisters, but they got very insulted when I asked them. You could tell neither one of them wanted to look like the other one, and you couldn't blame them, but it was very amusing anyway. ~ J.D. Salinger

For thus the royal mandate ran, When first the human race began, "The social, friendly honest man, Whate'er he be, Tis he fulfils great Nature's plan, And none but he!" ~ Robert Burns

Rasa has two primary meanings: 'feeling' and 'meaning'. As 'feeling' it is one of the traditional Javanese five senses - seeing, hearing, talking, smelling and feeling, and it includes within itself three aspects of "feeling" that our view of the 5 senses separates: taste of tongue, touch on the body, and emotional 'feeling' within the 'heart' like sadness and happiness. The taste of a banana is its rasa; a hunch is a rasa; a pain is a rasa; and so is the passion. As 'meaning', rasa is applied to words in a letter, in a poem, or even in common speech to indicate the between-the-lines type of indirection and allusive suggestion that is so important in Javanese communication and social intercourse. And it is given the same application to behavioral acts generally: to indicate the implicit import, the connotative 'feeling' of dance movements, polite gestures, and so forth. But int his second, semantic sense, it also means 'ultimate significance' - the deepest meaning at which one arrives by dint of mystical effort and whose clarification resolves all the ambiguities of mundane existence(...)
(The interpretation of cultures) ~ Geertz Clifford

See? Injustice. Here we are, risking our lives to rescue Kai and this whole planet, and Adri and Pearl get to go to the royal wedding. I'm disgusted. I hope they spill soy sauce on their fancy dresses."

Jacin's concern turned fast to annoyance. "Your ship has some messed-up priorities, you know that?"

"Iko. My name is Iko. If you don't stop calling me the 'ship,' I am going to make sure you never have hot water during your showers again, do you understand me?"

"Yeah, hold that thought while I go disable the speaker system."

"What? You can't mute me. Cinder! ~ Marissa Meyer

Autism is a severe neurodevelopmental disorder that is characterized by social withdrawal, by repetitive behaviors and by some kind of focal attention in its classic form. Basically, it's an inability to relate to others. ~ Harvey V. Fineberg

Hunger Games and A New Hope: Hero rises up from the poorest place in the galaxy. Put through some challenges. Finds romance and a side-kick. Somebody dies. Check
Catching Fire and Empire Strikes Back: Totalitarian government strikes back, some other people die, and the rebellion starts gaining momentun.
Mockingjay/Return of the Jedi: Bunch of minor characters die, and then one major one. Rebellion wins, if in an unexpected way. Characters all get married.
I think Suzanne Collins has some explaining to do. ~ Caleb Eversole

New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. ~ Mark Twain

The more you suffer the deeper grows your character, and with the deepening of your character you read the more penetratingly into the secrets of life. All great artists, all great religious leaders, and all great social reformers have come out of the intensest struggles which they fought bravely, quite frequently in tears and with bleeding hearts ~ D.T. Suzuki

The apex of mathematical achievement occurs when two or more fields which were thought to be entirely unrelated turn out to be closely intertwined. Mathematicians have never decided whether they should feel excited or upset by such events. ~ Gian-Carlo Rota

Democracy, like liberty, justice and other social and political rights, is not "given", it is earned through courage, resolution and sacrifice. ~ Aung San Suu Kyi

Some women barter their bodies like whores with wedding bands. Some use sex like a sword. But some women can touch a man and heal like Jesus. ~ Paula Wall