Seinfeld Hamptons Quotes

There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Sudenly Garge spring up and walk to the wall to admire some modarn art hanging on Frank and Estele Catandas wall. Hes impressed. Frank and Estele have always had a traditienel sensibility when it come to aesthetic matter's. For as long as he knew it, this space on the wall was ocupied by a Normen Rockwell print of a smileing child with a cast on his arm eating a handful of bird seed out of the hand of the postman. But now its replace with this minimelist art work, a large black rectangle. He make out hes bald reflectien in the imposibly smooth black surfece. It look like something that should be hang in the Moma (Museum Of Modarn Art).
"This is beauteful," Garge remark. "It seem like a stark comentary on the end of art. Who designe this?"
"Not art," Frank go. "Thats a televisien. ~ Seinfeld 2000

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

You'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean, only a sick, twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

The Hamptons are usually filled with what I had hoped to leave behind in New York City. ~ Mario Batali

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

There are so many fun charity festivals in the Hamptons. We enjoy so many fun events for kids such as Kidsfest. We also go to Super Saturday. We like to chill out and go out by the pool. We do things that are fun for kids and good for charity. ~ Kelly Rutherford

I like definitive things. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Cremation has become the most popular form of burial in the United States ... People used to want a big, thick granite stone, their names carved into with a chisel. I was here dammit! Cremation is like you're trying to cover up a crime. Burn the body. Scatter the ashes around. As far as anyone's concerned this whole thing never happened. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

The basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the news programs know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall? ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Sex to save the friendship? Well if we have to we have to. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

If you're a surfer, you just want to surf. You don't know if anyone's going to see you, and you don't really care if they see you. You just live for that feeling. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Of course we all try and save time. Cutting corners, little short cuts. But no matter how much time you save, at the end of your life, there's no extra time saved up. You'll be going "what do you mean there's no time? ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

I was the best man at the wedding ... If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him? ~ Jerry Seinfeld

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld has an interesting theory. He goes, '20 pounds up or down, and you lose your funny.' ~ Jason Alexander

When I was on 'The Golden Girls,' we'd have eight scenes per show. And when 'Seinfeld' came along, they went to, like, 30 scenes a show, which was revolutionary. 'Arrested Development' has probably got 60 scenes per show. It just keeps emerging as this more and more complex thing. I always try to keep it very simple at its heart. ~ Mitchell Hurwitz

If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

There is no community service in 'Seinfeld.' But rather than lauding that, I think it shows the insane banality of it. ~ Jason Alexander

Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person? ~ Jerry Seinfeld

The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets ... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

You look at shows like The Simpsons or Larry Sanders or Curb Your Enthusiasm or Seinfeld, they're really sophisticated shows that we all love back home. ~ Simon Pegg

In our first season we had a 22 rating. Today Seinfeld, a hit show, gets a 15. Lost in Space actually had a bigger audience than Star Trek got at that time. ~ Mark Goddard

If they can't suck money out of the Hamptons, a candidate really has to throw in the sponge. ~ Jerry Della Femina