Nonviolent Communication Quotes

We do not look for compromise; rather, we seek to resolve the conflict to everyone's complete satisfaction. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are tragic expressions of unmet needs. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

I believe the principles and techniques in this book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, can literally change the world, but more importantly, they can change the quality of your life with your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your co-workers and everyone else you interact with. I cannot recommend it highly enough. ~ Jack Canfield

Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Before we tackle the gangs and the basic story, we have to make sure that we have liberated ourselves from how we have been educated and make sure we are coming from a spirituality of our own choosing. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Empathy before education. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

The more we talk about the past, the less we heal from it. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

A good listener truly wants to know the speaker. ~ John Powell

While we may not consider the way we talk to be 'violent,' our words often lead to hurt and pain, whether for others or for ourselves. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

I highly recommend the approach Marshall Rosenberg details in Nonviolent Communication (2nd Edition 2008), which has essentially three parts: When X happens [described factually, not judgmentally], I feel Y [especially the deeper, softer emotions], because I need Z [fundamental needs and wants]. ~ Rick Hanson

We are this divine energy. It's not something we have to attain. We just have to realize it, to be present to it. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

In a Giraffe institution, the head nurse job would be to serve the nurses, not to control them. Teachers are there to serve the students, not control them. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

As we learn to speak from the heart we are changing the habits of a lifetime. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

What all the basic religions are saying is this: Don't do anything that isn't play. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Public education for some time has been heavily focused on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students. Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the relationship between teachers and students, the relationships of students with one another, and the relationships of students to what they are learning are equally important in preparing students for the future. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

A boy carries out suggestions more wholeheartedly when he understands their aim. ~ Robert Baden-Powell

I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed. ~ Jonathan Swift

Dr. Rosenberg has brought the simplicity of successful communication into the foreground. No matter what issue you're facing, his strategies for communicating with others will set you up to win every time. ~ Tony Robbins

Never hear what a jackal-speaking person thinks, especially what they think about you. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

You can have no influence over those for whom you have underlying contempt. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Every message, regardless of form or content, is an expression of a need. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

When you are in a jackal environment, never give them the power to submit or rebel. We want to teach this to children very early: Never lose track that you are always free to choose. Don't allow institutions to determine what you do. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Marshall Rosenberg provides us with the most effective tools to foster health and relationships. Nonviolent Communication connects soul to soul, creating a lot of healing. It is the missing element in what we do. ~ Deepak Chopra

The extraordinary language of Nonviolent Communication is changing how parents relate to children, teachers to students, and how we all related to each other and even to ourselves. It is precise, disciplined, and enormously compassionate. Most important, once we study NVC we can't ignore the potential for transformation that lies in any difficult relationship - if we only bother to communicate with skill and empathy. ~ Bernie Glassman

Usually a person relates to another under the tacit assumption thatthe other shares his view of reality, that indeed there is only onereality ... ~ Paul Watzlawick

Depression is the reward we get for being 'good'. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Anger, depression, guilt, and shame are the product of the thinking that is at the base of violence on our planet. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

In the future no human being is to find peace in the enjoyment of happiness if others beside him are unhappy. ~ Rudolf Steiner

Don't do anything that isn't play ~ Joseph Campbell

O, Great Spirit, open my eyes, open heart's wings, open my ears to your voice in all things. ~ Rumi

When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

The principles of Nonviolent Communication taught by Dr. Rosenberg are instrumental in creating an extraordinary and fulfilling quality of life. His compassionate and inspiring message cuts right to the heart of successful communication. ~ Tony Robbins

The more we use words that in any way imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Children need far more than basic skills in reading, writing, and math, as important as those might be. Children also need to learn how to think for themselves, how to find meaning in what they learn, and how to work and live together. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Always hear the 'Yes' in the 'No'. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

In the state of nature, wrong-doing is impossible ; or, if anyone does wrong, it is to himself, not to another. ~ Baruch Spinoza

Schools in which students and teachers relate as partners-where Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication is part of every interaction are communities of learning, rather than top-down, impersonal factories. Young people begin to see school as a safe and exciting place of exploration where they can share feelings and ideas, and where each child is recognized, valued and nurtured. ~ Riane Eisler

NVC gives us tools and understanding to create a more peaceful state of mind. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Natural Giving: Anything we do in life which is not out of that energy, we pay for and everybody else pays for. Anything we do to avoid punishment, everybody pays for. Everything we do for a reward, everybody pays for. Everything we do to make people like us, everybody pays for. Everything we do out of guilt, shame, duty, or obligation, everybody pays for. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Never question the beauty of what you are saying because someone reacts with pain, judgment, criticism. It just means they have not heard you. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

We strive to further the occurrence of whatever we imagine will lead to Joy, and to avert or destroy what we imagine is contrary to it, or will lead to Sadness. ~ Baruch Spinoza

Once you have access to key people in an organization, if you go into a meeting with enemy images of those people - then you are not going to connect. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Miracles can happen when we can keep our consciousness away from analyzing and classifying one another. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Always listen to what people need rather than what they are thinking about us. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Make your goal to attend to your underlying needs and to aim for a resolution so satisfying that everyone involved has their needs met also. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Needs are never conflicting. When we say that, we are only saying that at the moment we aren't seeing how both needs can be met. That leaves an opening. When you think in the way I'm suggesting, you'll often find a way to get most needs met simultaneously. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

As far as nonviolence and Spiritual Activism, Marshall Rosenberg is it! Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, is essential reading for anyone who wants to improve their communication skills. Applying the concepts within the book will help guide the reader towards a more loving, compassionate, and nonviolent way of understanding and functioning with others, and foster more compassion in the world. I highly recommend this book. ~ Marianne Williamson

Teachers, parents and school administrators: Today's teachers can create a Planet of Peace. The communication process you will learn by reading Nonviolent Communication is the cornerstone. ~ Robert Muller

Instead of playing the game "Making Life Wonderful", we often play the game called "Who's Right". Do you know that game? It's a game where everybody loses. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

The only sensible person is my tailor. He measures me anew each time he sees me. ~ George Bernard Shaw

Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Most of us live in a Jackal world where we take turns using the other person as a waste basket for our words. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

If I can listen to what he can tell me, if I can understand how it seems to him; if I can see its personal meaning for him, if I can sense the emotional flavor which it has for him, then I will be releasing potent forces of change in him. ~ Carl Rogers

All people ever say is: THANK YOU (a celebration of life) and PLEASE (an opportunity to make life more wonderful). ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Never do anything that isn't play. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Educators committed to engaging in the long-term, often difficult work of strengthening their relationships with colleagues, students and parents and expanding their opportunities for personal growth will find Nonviolent Communication to be an invaluable tool. ~ Ron Rubin

We are responsible for what we hear other people say and for how we act. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

A need is life seeking expression within us. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Sin cannot be conceived in a natural state, but only in a civil state, where it is decreed by common consent what is good or bad. ~ Baruch Spinoza

People don't make us angry, how we think makes us angry. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

When we hear the other person's feelings and needs, we recognize our common humanity. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

You're going to lose it when you follow the world "feel" with the words "because I think". Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word "think" with the word "you". I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

If we want to make meetings productive, we need to keep track of those whose requests are on the table. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

A second person that's come to my life very recently, and I'm thankful for it, is Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of the Nonviolent Communication Organization. He has all these books about how we can use our language nonviolently to help create peace. He's using a lot of Buddhism too, but he's helping me to think about language. ~ Sandra Cisneros

This is who I am. Not everybody has to like it. ~ Lisa Kudrow

Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

In Nonviolent Communication you will find an amazingly effective language for saying what's on your mind and in your heart. Like so many essential and elegant systems, it's simple on the surface, challenging to use in the heat of the moment and powerful in its results. ~ Vicki Robin

Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Difficult as it is really to listen to someone in affliction, it is just as difficult for him to know that compassion is listening to him. ~ Simone Weil

Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

NO is always a YES to something else. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

And none of this necessarily has any bearing on the issue of the existence or non-existence of a God. What I'm saying is that the thought of the man and the way this thinking-feeling can reach an extreme degree of incommunicability - that, without sophism or paradox, is at the same time, for that man, the point of greatest communication. He communicates with himself. ~ Clarice Lispector

For people to respond to you, you must respond to them, instead of reacting. ~ Abhijit Naskar

Your steady rain of words soaked me to the skin ~ John Geddes

Knowing something for oneself or for communication to an expert colleague is not the same as knowing it for explanation to a student. ~ Hyman Bass

For millions of years, man spoke only to what he could see. Suddenly, in just one decade, 'seeing' and 'speaking' have been separated. We think we're used to it, yet we don't realize the immense impact it's had on our reflexes. Our bodies are simply not used to it.

Frankly, the result is that, when we talk on the telephone, we enter a state that is similar to certain magical trances; we can discover other things about ourselves. ~ Paulo Coelho

My silence –
this gentle frost turning slowly far beneath
the skin ~ Tamara Rendell

The marvels - of film, radio, and television - are marvels of one-way communication, which is not communication at all. ~ Milton Mayer

We have lift off of the third Advanced Extremely High Frequency (AEHF-3) communication satellite at 4:44 a.m ~ Antonia Perdu

Communication in every which way is everything for the leader. ~ John Maeda

I think a guitar solo is how my emotion is most freely released, because verbal articulation isn't my strongest communication strength. My wife thinks that I should do interviews by listening to the questions and playing the answer on guitar. ~ David Gilmour

You need to forgive people you don't understand; if not, try to understand people you want to forgive. ~ Shannon L. Alder

Whatever clutter may be getting in your way during a conversation or communication, use the simple acronym HEAR to enter a more spacious and less defensive awareness. HEAR stands for: hold all assumptions; enter the emotional world; absorb and accept; and reflect, then respect. H ~ Donald Altman

The more men are freed from privation; the more telegraphs, telephones, books, papers, and journals there are; the more means there will be of diffusing inconsistent lies and hypocrisies, and the more disunited and consequently miserable will men become, which indeed is what we see actually taking place. ~ Leo Tolstoy

Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs. ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

Too many people are too angry about language too much of the time. This time could be better spent listening, learning, and enjoying the vast variety of human language around them. ~ Robert Lane Greene

The hardest things to talk about are the ones we ourselves can't understand. ~ Elena Ferrante

Words and pictures can work together to communicate more powerfully than either alone. ~ William Albert Allard

If you are without contention and still have the ability to make people think, their ego is going to take a hit and as a result they're not going to like you. They don't want to think. They want to be right, unrivaled or entertained. ~ Donna Lynn Hope

In an age of widespread communication and accountability, people expect political participation and accountability much more than they did in the eighteenth, nineteenth, and early twentieth centuries. The only way the demand for meaningful political participation and choice can be suppressed is to constrain liberty - Larry Diamond, Developing Democracy: Toward Consolidation (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1999), Chapter 1 ('Defining and Developing Democracy'). p. 4 ~ Larry Diamond