Kinky Funnyness Quotes

I had to ice my face the rest of the weekend and my bruised nose made it look like I got in a fight. Going back to class on Monday wasn't any better."Hey, Red, how's the nose doing?" John plopped down in the seat next to me like he didn't have a care in the world.I glared forward, willing myself not to look at him.
"You're the one who put it there, so if you don't mind I would like to focus on the lecture since finals are coming up."The girls in front of us glanced over their shoulders, looks of disgust on their faces.I smirked. "Don't get ahead of yourself, ladies. I fell ice skating, he's not beating me or getting me involved in
some weird sex act."That got them to turn back around. "Since when does sex involve bruises?What kind of stuff are you into,Red? ~ J. Lynn

What do you know? She liked to be told she was scary. Kinky. ~ Kevin Hearne

There is no more lively sensation than that of pain; its impressions are certain and dependable, they never deceive as may those of the pleasure women perpetually feign and almost never experience. ~ Marquis De Sade

I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun. ~ Kinky Friedman

I knew I had a problem. I was starting to like that kinky rich bastard. ~ R.K. Lilley

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' ~ Kinky Friedman

That said, wow. This book is just so full of nasty and kinky encounters and voyeuristic thrills that it blew me away.
Sylvia Storm E Read Erotica Reviews ~ Sasha Holden

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck. ~ Lewis Grizzard

We enjoy talking about music, politics, and subjugation. - Kinky Friedman to Night Rider on KOKE-FM ~ Ray Palla

Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript, at which time we knew we had something pretty hot. ~ Kinky Friedman

May the God of your choice bless you. ~ Kinky Friedman

Hey, did you guys ... " Duncan was saying when he walked into my room. Apparently, since Finn had left the door open, he thought he could waltz on in.
"Sure, everybody just walk on in. It's not like I'm a Princess or anything and this is my private chamber." I sighed.
When Duncan saw the bizarre scene, he stopped and motioned to Loki. "Wait. Why is he here? He didn't spend the night with you two, did he?"
"Wendy is into some very kinky things that you wouldn't understand," Loki told him with a wink.
"Why are you here?" Finn demanded, and his eyes blazed.
"Will somebody please tell us what the hell is going on?"
"I would, but this is a private conversation." Finn kept his icy gaze locked on Loki, who looked completely unabashed.
"Come, now, Finn, there are no secrets between us." Loki grinned and gestured widely to Tove and me. ~ Amanda Hocking

I like to be weird, kinky, straight, in and out, up and down. I like to blow up people's expectations, create them, destroy them, and dissolve them. It is fun. ~ Frederick Lenz

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes. ~ Kinky Friedman

As with the first Nightmare, we shot a couple of interesting scenes that didn't make it into the final cut, most notably one featuring a female Freddy. One of the kids in the hospital has a Freddy dream in which he's being seduced by a sexy nurse. The nightmare evolves into a kinky S&M fantasy, but becomes less M and more S when the ropes that bind the kid to the bed become Freddy tongues, and the nurse's face morphs into Freddy's, but her topless torso, which features a pair of perfect Playboy breasts, remains smooth and inviting… that is, for a moment. All of a sudden, the veins in her areolas come to life and turn into Freddy-like burn scars and snake up her cleavage, past her neck, and onto her face. (I'm pretty sure Kevin enjoyed the four hours it took to apply makeup to those tits.) This troubling, erotic transformation didn't make the final cut for some reason. Occasionally I find myself signing bootleg stills from the missing sequence. Especially in Europe. Ooh la la! ~ Robert Englund

May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore. ~ Kinky Friedman

Sometimes, just for fun, I type some random, silly word in front of the word porn and google it. Just to see if it exists. Because that means people out there are getting off on it. So I googled Nazi porn. Yupp. It exists. Then I googled goldfish porn. Yupp. Found it. Someone out there finds sex with goldfish arousing. Fart porn. Yes, that's a thing too, and it brings someone somewhere great pleasure. Stormtrooper porn. Yes, the force is strong with that one. And it's not even a Saturday Night Live parody. It's literally hardcore porn, featuring men dressed in Stormtrooper outfits. With surprisingly high production values. ~ Oliver Markus Malloy

he made me kinky about books: he managed to teach me – to this day, I don't know how – that books were not just a thing like that – I mean, just books – but somebody else's mind opened up for me to look into, and he taught me the habit, later on, of actually buying then! Yes – I mean real books, like the serious paperbacks, which must have been unknown among the kids up in the Harrow Road those days, who thought a book's an SF or a Western, if they thought it's anything. ~ Colin MacInnes

Damn, girl. You are a kinky fuck."

I glanced down. The sheet was spattered with blood, my skin covered with dried red lines. Awkward. "Oh. I tripped and fell."

"On his fangs? Over and over? ~ Jill Myles

Charlie Price: But they're comfy.
Lola: SEX, shouldn't be comfy!
Mel: Thank God, I thought it was just me! ~ Chiwetel Ejiofor's Character 'Lola' In "Kinky Boots"

Man's ability to delude himself is infinite. ~ Kinky Friedman

And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason alone, people should vote for an independent-thinking person. ~ Kinky Friedman

These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable. ~ Kinky Friedman

I had to do some damage control and convince everyone she'd had a heart attack like I did with that student. But I was beginning to think you had some kinky fetish for stopping pretty girls' hearts, which you and I were going to have to have a little chat about. It's a relief knowing we won't have to have such an awkward conversation. I'd much rather deal with a monster on the loose. ~ Bree Despain

I have tried a little kinky stuff. A woman called me and said, 'I have mirrors all over my bedroom. Bring a bottle.' I brought Windex. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95! ~ Kinky Friedman

But it was the dark hunger in his tone that got to her. Damn kinky vampire had actually liked the knife.
Shit. ~ Nalini Singh

Matt said, "I need to go. I have other appointments today." Without a single ounce of hesitation, he cupped Priss's shoulders, drew her forward, and gave her a smacking kiss right on her slightly parted lips.
It was a toss-up who was more surprised, Priss or Trace. Priss blinked rapidly, Trace snarled and Chris laughed at them both.
"I enjoyed working with you, Priss. You were more than entertaining, and a font of information on all things kinky."
Trace narrowed his eyes. Was Matt trying to rile him? All things kinky? Just what the hell had they discussed? "What does that mean, Matt?"
"She schooled us on the porn marketplace. Very informative." After a meaningful glance at Trace, he turned back to Priss. "I hope to see you again."
She went still, unsure what to say. Trace filled in the silence. "Did you want to bill me, or get paid now?"
"I almost hate to charge, it was all so fascinating."
Trace growled. "But you will."
Grinning, Matt said, "Yes." As he turned away, he added, "I'll get something in the mail to Dare. He can pass it along to you. I certainly trust you."
Matt's emphasis meant that Priss didn't trust him - not that Trace needed a reminder of that. ~ Lori Foster

Tantric Zen is not being kinky; nor is it being conservative and austere. It is eclectic. It is a real mixture of all things. ~ Frederick Lenz

If you gotta kill two birds, might as well get stoned. ~ Kinky Friedman

She frowned at the message on his T-shirt: IT ONLY
SEEMS KINKY THE FIRST TIME.
"It was a gift," he said.
"From Satan?"
Something that looked almost like a smile flickered across his face and then disappeared. "You don't like it, you know what you can do about it." He
cleared another snarl of water hyacinths.
"What if a child saw that shirt?"
"Seen any kids today?" He shifted his weight slightly on the seat. "You're making me sorry I lost my favorite one." She turned back to the bow. "I
don't want to hear."
"It says, 'I'm al for gay marriage as long as both bitches are hot. ~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

A happy childhood ... is the worst possible preparation for life. ~ Kinky Friedman

I believe that voices like Ross Perot (search), Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give 'em a chance. ~ Kinky Friedman

Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would be almost as bad as a cocaine habit, a hundred bucks a day. ~ Kinky Friedman

The bonding ceremony is a walk through our peers, a family member or friend usually leads those to be bonded down that path with a white laced leash."

"You want me to wear a collar!" He placed a hand around his neck instinctively.

Lorn lifted a dark eyebrow. "The leash doesn't go around your neck." He glanced between Kallen's legs. ~ James Cox

The porch light came on and Aunt B swung the door open. Middle-aged and stout, with graying hair rolled into a bun, she looked like she should be baking cookies, not ruling a brood of social deviants with a penchant for hysterical laughter and kinky sex. ~ Ilona Andrews

She was my mother. I couldn't threaten to slap, stab, beat or even name call her. I tried to think of something to scare her into never mentioning the predicament with the Dreamsnatcher again.
I'll become a swinger," I said. her eyes bugged. Uptight rearing made her uncomfortable with alternate lifestyles. "That's right. threesomes, foursomes, and more. bones knows about a thousand chicks who'd love to hop into bed with us. It'll be kinky, we'll get out freak on.- ~ Jeaniene Frost

The people of America are red, white, black, yellow, and all the shades in between. Their eyes are blue, black, and brown, and all the shades in between. Their hair is straight, curly, kinky, and most of it in between. They are tall and short, slim and fat, athletic and anaemic, and most of them in between. They are the different peoples of the world becoming more and more the "in between." They are a people creating a new bridge of mankind in between the past of narrow nationalistic chauvinism and the horizon of a new mankind
a people of the world. Their face is the face of the future. ~ Saul Alinsky

The only thing wrong with Southern Baptists was they didn't hold them underwater long enough. ~ Kinky Friedman

If ever thou be'st bound in thy scarf and beaten, thou shalt find what it is to be proud of thy bondage. ~ William Shakespeare

I don't apologize to people with an agenda. ~ Kinky Friedman

How he could have such a reaction with me looking like the Pillsbury Doughboy astonished me. He was kinky. I'd take it. ~ Darynda Jones

The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror. ~ Kinky Friedman