Humorous Cliff Note Quotes

But, you say, there is very little conversation in this book. Why isn't there more dialoge? What we want in a book by this citizen is people talking; that is all he knows how to do and now he doesn't do it. The fellow is no philosopher, no savant, an incompetent zoologist, he drinks too much and cannot punctuate readily and now he has stopped writing dialogue. Some one ought to put a stop to him. He is bull crazy. ~ Ernest Hemingway,

He smiles.
It's a blinding, white-toothed smile.
A push-me-over-the-edge-of-the-love-cliff smile.
And before I can say a word in protest, he's got my hand and is dragging me through the carnival.
Note to self: Do not stare directly at his smile. It holds special powers.
Also: Do not kiss him. His mouth is definitely the source of his power. ~ Jillian Dodd

Peering around her, I took note exactly where the hundred metre high cliff started. i didn't want to be taking an unexpected flying lesson today. ~ Kelly Batten

The Life and Death of Socially Networked Lemmings [20w]
When lemmings
jump
off
a
cliff,
it
tweets
its
suicide
note,
then
Instagrams
a
selfie
to
Facebook
on
its
iPhone. ~ Beryl Dov

At first I'd tried subtlety, but as it happened, Dane's mind - as fierce and strong and powerful as he was - had about the level of subtlety as a locomotive that went off the tracks and then fell off a cliff. And then hit a tree and a nitroglycerine truck. ~ Lynn Red

I had an aunt named 'abnormal Shauna' once. But she passed away in an unfortunate cliff-top interpretative dance and fireworks accident. ~ Joshua Donellan

It looked something like a pen wiper and something like a piece of hearth-rug. A second and keener inspection revealed it as a Pekinese puppy. ~ P.G. Wodehouse

...Rusty followed. "You should probably pull out your gun. Whatever is in there made enough noise to make me believe it wasn't a bug." Kirsten's stride faltered, and she came to a stop at the door. "Okay, I'm gonna come clean right now. I cannot stand rats or mice. Snakes scare me less. So if I get in there and I see a furry vermin, I will scream like a little girl. If you tell anyone you witnessed that, I will ticket you every time you pull out of your driveway. Are we clear?" "Are you sure you don't want me to go to the store?" Kirsten met Rusty's gaze. "Are you clear on what I just said?" "Yep. ~ Robin Alexander

My walk home
in spring
smells like
childhood piano lessons
dipped in jasmine
tapped out
like three note songs on
elevated on telephone books ~ Kirli Saunders

Kissing him is like the wildest, most thrilling thing that has ever happened to me. It's like diving into the deep end over and over. He touches the curve of my lip with his tongue, just once, so softly, and I think the whole world is ending, the sudden warmth of his mouth jolting through me like a shock. I hold on like I'm falling off the top of a tall cliff or I'm lost at sea, like he's the only thing solid in the whole tilting world. ~ Brenna Yovanoff

I ate fantastic Italian food in Croatia, which you wouldn't expect. The food in Istanbul was amazing. I never would've expected that and the food, I guess you're learning something about me, the food in Prague, they're very, very heavy meat eaters, like, a lot of meat, which is great. ~ Cliff Curtis

We're really awful animals. I mean, that dumb Barbra Streisand song, 'People who need people are the luckiest people in the world' - she's talking about cannibals. Lot's to eat. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

Good Americans, when they die, go to Paris. ~ Thomas Gold Appleton

Do we want to know whether Christ was resurrected on Easter? God provides the grace to believe in that, but note: Such belief requires less faith in things unseen than believing that the world as we know it evolved out of nothing. ~ Marvin Olasky

Averages don't always reveal the most telling realities. You know, Shaquille O'Neal and I have an average height of 6 feet. ~ Robert Reich

Sam Temple kept a lower profile. He stuck to jeans and understated T-shirts, nothing that drew attention to himself. He had spent most of his life in Perdido Beach, attending this school, and everybody knew who he was, but few people were quite sure what he was. He was a surfer who didn't hang out with surfers. He was bright, but not a brain. He was good-looking, but not so that girls thought of him as a hottie.
The one thing most kids knew about Sam Temple was that he was School Bus Sam. He'd earned the nickname when he was in seventh grade. The class had been on the way to a field trip when the bus driver had suffered a heart attack. They'd been driving down Highway 1. Sam had pulled the man out of his seat, steered the bus onto the shoulder of the road, brought it safely to a stop, and calmly dialed 911 on the driver's cell phone.
If he had hesitated for even a second, the bus would have plunged off a cliff and into the ocean.
His picture had been in the paper. ~ Michael Grant

Marriage is the equivalent of trying to live with a bug perpetually up your nose.
D'Artagnan Bloodhawke ~ D'Artagnan Bloodhawke

As my vision went dark, Sam and Hearth helped me leap off the cliff. Because, you know, what are friends for? ~ Rick Riordan

Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass. ~ Frank Zappa

Note-taking is important to me: a week's worth of reading notes (or "thoughts I had in the shower" notes) is cumulatively more interesting than anything I might be able to come up with on a single given day. ~ Teju Cole

I'm not a lemming about to run off the end of a cliff. ~ Glenn Roeder

If possible, I'd like to avoid that kind of literary burnout. My idea of literature is something more spontaneous, more cohesive, something with a kind of natural, positive vitality. For me, writing a novel is like climbing a steep mountain, struggling up the face of the cliff, ~ Haruki Murakami

1Praise the LORD,a my soul;b all my inmost being, praise his holy name.c 2Praise the LORD,d my soul, and forget note all his benefits - 3who forgives all your sinsf and healsg all your diseases, 4who redeems your lifeh from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,i 5who satisfiesj your desires with good things so that your youth is renewedk like the eagle's.l 6The LORD works righteousnessm and justice for all the oppressed. ~ Anonymous

John F. Kennedy "is, in reality, a deeply serious man, reflective in his mental habits, historically minded, and given to seeing men and nations and events in the sobering context that history provides.

As a human being, he is often humorous, easily bored by total routine but open to all fresh experiences, careless of the superficialities of life, warmly loyal to his friends, and oddly detached about himself. His most curious trait, in fact, is his way of discussing his most vital affairs with the dry humor and cool analytical remoteness that most people reserve for the affairs of others. – Joseph Alsop ~ David Pietrusza

Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship. ~ Dave Barry

I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

The psychology of places, for some imaginations at least, is very vivid; for the wanderer, especially, camps have their "note" either of welcome or rejection. ~ Algernon Blackwood

Frankie was making me work for my forgiveness. It had taken several days, a thousand phone messages, and a seriously overpriced Vogue Hommes International shoved through his mail slot to get him even to speak to me. He was sitting across the table from me now, arms crossed over his chest (to be fair, he did that a lot when wearing that particular cashmere sweater; it covered the repaired moth hole at the point of the V-neck), glowering a little. I nudged the cannoli another millimeter toward him. It was chocolate chip,his fave.
"So I screwed up twice." I was wrapping up my tale of guilt and woe. "Edward I don't mind so much now. We just were too different for it to work out in the end..." I chanced a glance at Frankie's sulky face to see if he found that at all humorous. Apparently not.,. I sighed and went for honesty. "Alex...That one has walloped me."
Frankie darted out a finger and scooped a little of the filling from the cannoly. I resisted the urge to fling myself across the table and hug him until he squeaked. "The sharks were good," he acknowledged, and not even too reluctantly. "Insane but good."
"Yeah.And Ferdinand. I'll introduce you sometime."
Frankie wrinkled his perfect nose. "I'll take my stingray as a shagreen wallet, thank you."
I laughed.Not that I appreciated the thought of Ferdinand as an accessory,but I was just so happy to have my Frankie back.
He read my mind and waved a cannoli-tipped finger at me. "Ah.You are not forgiven ~ Melissa Jensen

I guess I'm also obligated to note that the experience of sex workers who are not upper/middle class/white probably have much worse conditions than anything that's portrayed commonly in media/what I experienced. ~ Marie Calloway

In the end, I hope there's a little note somewhere that says I designed a good computer. ~ Steve Wozniak

Paper is no longer a big part of my day. I get 90% of my news online, and when I go to a meeting and want to jot things down, I bring my Tablet PC. It's fully synchronized with my office machine, so I have all the files I need. It also has a note-taking piece of software called OneNote, so all my notes are in digital form. ~ Bill Gates

Cometh the hour, cometh the man. ~ Cliff Gladwin

Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor! ~ Christina Scalise