Funniest Love Quotes

You can't make someone love you, all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in ~ Caleb Followill

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. ~ Woody Allen

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books. ~ Alan King

You can't put a price tag on preparation for a pandemic. ~ Richard E. Besser

The sun rises in the east every morning and falls in the west, Ayden. Darknesses are awaken and fate is tested, destinies are foreseen. Thy soul the only enemy, a hero is born. A new light rises once again ... ~ Nadege Richards

I truly love 'Gangnam Style.' I guess it's a meme. I feel like it's one of the few times where the meme and the quality combines nicely. ~ Grimes

He's coming off the bridge," said Serge. "The rocks will start soon." "Rocks?" "It's local tradition, and another reason I love the Keys." Serge stood and put on his sneakers. "It's our version of when those people went out to the overpasses and waved at O. J. Simpson during the slow-motion chase. Except in the Keys, when there's a high-speed pursuit on TV heading south, the locals line the road and wait for the car to come off the bridge to Key Largo. Last time was around Christmas." "You're right." Coleman pointed at the TV again. "They're lining the side of the road. They're throwing rocks." "And we're at Mile Marker 105, so that gives us about three minutes." Serge tightened the Velcro straps on his shoes. "Let's go throw rocks. ~ Tim Dorsey

Humor does depend on surprise, and the things that people remember as the funniest things in the world, you look at later and you go, "What? What was that all about?" ~ Matt Groening

Forgiveness of those who have transgressed against you, or those you love, is not about them; it is about you. It is a gift to yourself. ~ Phillip C. McGraw

I love magazines. I always read 'Time,' 'Newsweek' and 'The Economist.' When I get my hair cut, French 'Vogue,' French 'Elle,' 'Paris Match' - I read them all in 10 minutes. ~ Janine Di Giovanni

People have their time stamps on how long you should know someone before earning the right to say it, but I wouldn't lie to you no matter how little time we have. People waste time and wait for the right moment and we don't have that luxury. If we had our entire lives ahead of us I bet you'd get tired of me telling you how much I love you because I'm positive that's the path we were heading on. But because we're about to die, I want to say it as many times as I want---I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. ~ Adam Silvera

I cannot lament the loss of a love or a friendship without meditating that one loses only what one really never had. ~ Jorge Luis Borges

After all, a love of art is a fine thing for a young boy, but art is long - and life can be pretty damned long too, without our just desserts! ~ Vincent Price

To infinite, ever present Love, all is Love, and there is no error, no sin sickness, nor death. ~ Mary Baker Eddy

Every moment is a moment of hope, moment of beauty, a moment of joy and it is our life. ~ Debasish Mridha

I don't love CDs more than anything else, but I was just playing around with the idea that they could be something you're momentarily keeping hold of as everything is passing by. ~ Alexis Taylor

As it turns out, you can love someone too much. Then, when they leave, your heart goes missing. And no on can survive that great a loss. ~ Jodi Picoult

If a man we don't know phones us up one day and talks a little, makes no suggestions, says nothing special, but nevertheless pays us the kind of attention we rarely receive, we're quite capable of going to bed with him that night, feeling relatively in love. That's what we women are like, and there's nothing wrong with that - it's the nature of the female to open herself to love easily. ~ Paulo Coelho

Where there is love, there is revolution, because love is transformation from moment to moment. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

No one is more conventional than a woman who is falling out of love. ~ Francoise Sagan

I love this place, too, it's imprinted on me as much as you are. But in the end, it's still for you. I love you. I'm in love with you. I'm not going home. You are my home. I'm staying with you. ~ Karina Halle

Real friends are something different. Real friends are there, no matter what. Real friends are people who love and hate in equal measure, but who are as much a part of you as yourself ~ C.J. Tudor

I am in love with you. And I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed. And that one day all our labor will be returned to dust. And I know that the sun will swallow the only earth we will ever have. And I am in love with you. ~ John Green

I would rather live 10 years doing what I Love, than drag through Life 50 years, hating every day I Live.-RVM ~ R.v.m.

Love is not maximum emotion. Love is maximum commitment. ~ Sinclair B. Ferguson

Huh," Leo said. "Well, if you ever get off this island and want a job, let me know. You're not a total klutz."
She smirked. "A job, eh?" Making things in your forge?"
"Nah, we could start our own shop," Leo said, surprising himself. Starting a machine shop had always been one of his dreams, but he'd never told anyone about it. "Leo and Calypso's Garage: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters. ~ Rick Riordan

As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters. ~ Solomon Ibn Gabirol

It is what it is, no more, no less, it simply is. Embrace simplicity, life is easier that way. ~ Hazel Butterworth

In this way, writers are indeed, as Henry Miller suggested, traitors to the human race. We may turn a light on inequity, injustice, and oppression from time to time, but we regularly kill what we love in insidious fashion. ~ Anthony Bourdain

Love hides in all sorts of places, in the most sorrowful corner of your heart, in the darkest and most hopeless situation ~ Vaddey Ratner

We were perfect, a little messy and a lot wild. There were no rules for August and me. ~ Kelly Siskind

I don't really know. I've never rescued a girl I love from the Furies before." He looked alarmed as he noticed my eyes were filling with tears. "Don't cry."
"How can I not?" I asked him. "You just said you love me."
"Why else did you think all of this was happening?" He set the book aside to wrap his arms around me. "The Furies wouldn't be trying to kill you if I didn't love you. ~ Meg Cabot

Love is the motivating principle by which the Lord leads us along the way towards becoming like Him, our perfect example. Our way of life, hour by hour, must be filled with the love of God and love for others. ~ Henry B. Eyring

The big lesson about loving someone was coming to understand that when love ended for one person, it ended for both people. ~ Elizabeth George

To protect yourself from others hurting you, you locked everyone out but at the same time you locked yourself in. All you now have is yourself for company but you never took the time to quieten all those negative voices in your head. You spent so long running away from you, escaping with different vices over the years that now you have locked yourself in those voices end up hurting you worse than anyone else ever could. Don't lock the doors, that could lead you to freedom ~ Sope Agbelusi

Sometimes being a MOM is like a good
ol' country song! You lose your sleep, you lose your hair, you lose your patience, you lose your energy, you lose your memory AND you lose your SANITY! But you DO IT all for LOVE! ~ Tanya Masse

No kiss, no embrace, could bring two people any closer than we are right now. The most intimate emotion two people can share is neither love nor desire but pain. ~ Tess Gerritsen