Humorous Love Quotes

He was love blind. His wife walked him through. ~ Ljupka Cvetanova

She wanted to run her hands over him as he whispered the impassioned corollaries of non-Euclidean geometry. ~ Sherry Thomas

Why should I trust you?" Her eyes narrowed. "All I really know about you is that you're not loyal to your girlfriends, you treat one-night stands like crap, and apparently you've made quite a name for yourself not only in the business world, but also in the bedroom since we last met. ~ Zoe Forward

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. ~ Woody Allen

Love is a state of mind which has nothing to do with the mind. ~ Bob Phillips

A frog in love would not be enchanted to learn that her beloved had turned into Prince Charming. ~ Mason Cooley

I doubt you've ever been forced to nonstop bang a woman hyped up on the undead voodoo version of Spanish fly, have you?"
His chuckle was soft. "Can't say that I have, Kitten."
"Yeah, well, consider me an original."
This time, when his lips brushed across my skin, it lasted more than a moment.
"I always have. ~ Jeaniene Frost

Could the entire notion of finding one's soul mate be a simple case of looking for ourselves in another body? Is the "soul mate" really just the best approximation of ourselves that we can find? ~ Dermot Davis

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. ~ Woody Allen

The greatest stories are simple, but well told. ~ Tova Dian Dean

I only have so much willpower, Helen," he whispered. "And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the covers before I do something stupid. ~ Josephine Angelini

He has me pinned on my back in record time, his mouth crashing against mine as we frantically devour one another. "Awesome speech," he murmurs, pushing my sweater up and planting his hot mouth against my equally hot skin. "Very motivational. ~ Siobhan Davis

If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life. ~ Tommy Lasorda

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. ~ Paula Deen

You took your clothes off?"
"You didn't notice?"
"No! Jeez Louise, I don't even know you."
"If you look under the covers, you'll know me better."
"I don't want to know you better!"
"That's a big fib," Diesel said. ~ Janet Evanovich

You can't put a price tag on preparation for a pandemic. ~ Richard E. Besser

Everyone has someone to call on when they're down, let me be that someone when that ones not around. ~ Mark W. Boyer

If only, I thought, I could talk to Eugene just one more time. This was before I came to understand that you cannot make someone fall in love with you But here's what you can do. By arguing and pleading and screaming and crying and throwing plates and phoning a lot and bringing hot food and sending flowers and buying gifts and doing unsolicited favors and remembering a birthday and being nice and declaring your abiding love and trying hard or sometimes merely by being present, you can make someone who was hitherto lukewarm really detest you. ~ Patricia Marx

She has the power to both possess and shatter my entire universe, that is all. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Nothing says 'I love you' like 'I tracked down this guy for you to kill ~ Kelley Armstrong

Some people think family's about DNA, but it ain't. It's about the folks who want you, who stick with you no matter what. They know your secrets and flaws, and you know theirs, and you love each other anyway. ~ Kim Fielding

It isn't healthy to care for someone who can never love you back. ~ Nancy Farmer

Dance with your sacred rhythm. ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

So you've taken to spying on her. It must be love. ~ Richard Finney

I maintain that nothing useful and lasting can emerge from violence. ~ Shirin Ebadi

He couldn't undo the past, nor could he know how he had already altered the future. But that didn't matter. What he really cared about was captured in the warmth of their interlaced fingers. What mattered was the life the two of them made together now. ~ Ginn Hale

When I was with her, my skin sighed that the center of the world was precisely here. ~ Joanne Horniman

The soul falls into contemplation before this sanctuary, where the celebration of love is held. ~ Victor Hugo

I may not be happy with you right now, but I still love you. ~ Janet Gurtler

what they'd been afraid of was running out of self. On the contrary the more they loved the more there was to love. ~ Helen Oyeyemi

I love to be creative and to put flesh onto the ideas that are inside of me. And there are not that many great programs that are coming out through Hollywood, and I'm tired of waiting around for someone to hand me a good script, so I'm going to go and produce something. ~ Kirk Cameron

From the day he first made me his, to the last day I made him mine, yes, let me set it down in numbers. I who can count and reckon, and have the time. Of all the days I was his and did not love him - this; and this; and this many. Of all the days I was his - and he had ceased to love me - this many; and this. In days - it comes to a thousand days - out of the years. Strangely, just a thousand. And of that thousand - one - when we were both in love. Only one, when our loves met and overlapped and were both mine and his. When I no longer hated him, he began to hate me. Except for that one day. One day, out of all the years.30 ~ Susan Bordo

And at night, when it breathes delicately from silence - I love listening to your voice. It is like a heavenly graceful singing of thousands of stars. ~ Kristian Goldmund Aumann

Stop trying to understand people. Love them instead. ~ Mensah Oteh

Every man who has an idol or admires someone can recognise its themes. It's not only a film about the relationship between fans and idols, it's also a love story, a story of a man who is depressed, who has problems in his relationship with his teenage step-children. ~ Eric Cantona

It's not polite to ask if a man has a big salami in his pants, okay? ~ Kevin Hearne

I've never been afraid of ghosts. I live with them daily, after all. When I look in a mirror, my mother's eyes look back at me; my mouth curls with the smile that lured my great-grandfather to the fate that was me. No, how should I fear the touch of those vanished hands, laid on me in love unknowing? How could I be afraid of those that molded my flesh, leaving their remnants to live long past the grave? ... All the time the ghosts flit past and through us, hiding in the future. We look in the mirror and see shades of other faces looking back through the years; we see the shape of memory, standing solid in an empty doorway. By blood and by choice, we make our own ghosts; we haunt ourselves. ~ Diana Gabaldon

Perhaps, even in love, freedom can still be considered sweeter than peace. That is to say that, you are capable of scheduling and re-scheduling your plans without waiting for the approval of any third-party. ~ Mwanandeke Kindembo

The love of God is the first love. ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

I've only read two books in my life: Baseball Sparkplug and Love Story. ~ George Brett

I had always been in love with him. I counted the lashes of each closed eye. He had been my almost, my might have been, and I did not want to leave him ~ Alice Sebold

i wanted to destroy you.

you are mine to ruin.
something so beautiful
should only exist for me. ~ AVA.

Maybe this wasn't how we saw our lives going but right now, I can't think of it going any other way. I know you have your reservations and you're entitled to them. I have mine too. I know we've only known each other for a few weeks and I know we're not in love. We're barely in like. But I do know that I want to do this with you and I can only hope you'll do it with me. ~ Karina Halle

Whether you teach or live in the cloister or nurse the sick, whether you are in religion or out of it, married or single, no matter who you are or what you are, you are called to the summit of perfection: you are called to a deep interior life perhaps even to mystical prayer, and to pass the fruits of your contemplation on to others. And if you cannot do so by word, then by example.
Yet if this sublime fire of infused love burns in your soul, it will inevitably send forth throughout the Church and the world an influence more tremendous than could be estimated by the radius reached by words or by example. ~ Thomas Merton

It will kill you to love like you will never die. ~ Tim Kinsella

Every woman wants a man who can ruin her lipstick and not her mascara. ~ Habeeb Akande

My Best Friend and I have spent plenty of time together, despite me being in my First Ever Relationship. This is because friends should always come first. ~ Holly Smale

Destroy! destroy! destroy! hums the under-consciousness. Love and produce! Love and produce! cackles the upper consciousness. And the world hears only the Love-and- produce cackle. Refuses to hear the hum of destruction under- neath. Until such time as it will have to hear. ~ D.H. Lawrence

Therefore, have done with this nonsense: you have no ground for hope: dismiss, at once, these hurtful thoughts and foolish wishes from your mind, and turn to your own duty, and the dull blank life that lies before you. You might have known such happiness was not for you. ~ Anne Bronte

Every love that leads away from His love is in fact a punishment; only a love that leads to His love is a heartfelt and pure love. ~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

When I was a young man, I didn't think about having a family. My wife and I were too poor to have babies. Then all of a sudden, one came along and scared the hell out of us because we had no money. Once the baby arrives, you make do somehow. You fall in love with the baby and life adjusts itself. You find you don't need as much money as you thought. When that happens, you can ask the questions that should have come before the baby. ~ Ray Bradbury

I'm not worthy of that," I said. I might be human now, but I understand how powerful a heavenly creature Carter was. "I don't deserve that much regard."
He reached out and tipped my chin up. "You do, Georgina. And if you don't believe me now, then strive to be. Live you life. Be kind. Love those you know. Love those you don't know. be worthy of your soul."
A tear escaped, rolling down my cheek and probably messing up my mortal mascara. "Thank you, Carter. Thank you for everything. ~ Richelle Mead

True love has her own language. ~ Debasish Mridha

Ruark held the door open for her to pass through. "The first I cannot deny, Shanna, for then I did not know of you. But you are my only love and shall remain for as long as I live." His eyes were serious and seemed to probe her being. "I ~ Kathleen E. Woodiwiss

Librarians see themselves as the guardians of the First Amendment. You got a thousand Mother Joneses at the barricades! I love the librarians, and I am grateful for them! ~ Michael Moore

Moments of love is life, a life is for moments of love. ~ Debasish Mridha

Extend your hand to help others and be an example. ~ Debasish Mridha