Adam Silvera Quotes

I don't want to be me. I don't want to second-guess if my friends are going to be okay with me being me, and more importantly, I don't want to see what happens if they're not.

you can't always choose who you're going to be

Even if I only got to spend that first drive to the planetarium with Theo, he broke me in a way everyone should be lucky to be cracked open at least once. I had the privilege of being destroyed by him until we found a better, real me inside of the person I was pretending to be.

You don't get to keep ignoring the past because you don't like it.

I realize I'm crying a little, too. I remember. Sometimes pain is so unmanageable that the idea of spending another day with it seems impossible. Other times pain acts as a compass to help you through the messier tunnels of growing up. But pain can only help you find happiness if you remember it.

It's mad twisted, but surviving showed me it's better to be alive wishing I was dead than dying wishing I could live forever.

But maybe people should be kind without reason.

Where the fuck is a Time-Turner when you need one?

History remains with the people who will appreciate it most.

But I've pushed my limit and here's the truth: this is the most painfully confusing time in my life and he's the first person who said all the right words to me and reminds me of the first days of summer where you leave home without [your] jacket, and my favorite songs playing over and over.

You're not delusional," Theo says. "And you're not crazy.

Maybe it's better to have gotten it right and been happy for one day instead of living a lifetime of wrongs.

you definitely don't need the same blood to lose a part of yourself when someone dies.

I'm sharp, I'm poison, I'm suffocation, and I'm fire.

Two dudes met. They fell in love. They lived. That's our story.

I may not be throwing fire, but I'm just as much a hero as anyone else.

I've spent years living safely to secure a longer life, and look where that's gotten me. I'm at the finish line but I never ran the race.

Love, the hugest liar in this universe.

While we can't always engineer our own happy endings, we can learn how to be more happy than not with the cards we've been dealt.

It hurts to admit it, but there were things in those letters that feel like Mom was taking a shot at me. Why did she write down that I was obsessed with singing songs from girl pop stars? Or how when she took Eric and me shopping for toys at CVS, I didn't let him bully me into buying a blue Power Ranger because I wanted to play with a Jean Grey action figure? I feel like it was her coded way of saying, "This is when I knew about you.

But when I come back down, I remember something very crucial: Fuck, I have no idea how to have sex.

Imagine if we could glow to attract a mate instead of spraying on cologne that chokes everyone in a fifty-foot radius,

Why can't we have a chance?" I ask Rufus.
"A chance at what?" He's looking around, taking pictures of the arena and the lines.
"A chance at another chance." I say.

Like we're both stars in the sky that aren't close enough to shine brightly together.

Life felt like it was going to be too long. I wanted out.

Leaving means living before you die

Getting up means leaving," I say.
"Yeah," Rufus says.
"Leaving means dying," I say.
"Nah. Leaving means living before you die. Let's bounce.

There's got to be some scientific study somewhere that proves your boyfriend's sweater will keep you warmer and cure you of any illnesses a lot faster, than some Pottery Barn blanket.

It's freeing to be in control.

I can't help it. If I'm going to feel something, I want to feel it.

I'm so happy you were my first, Theo, and you were worth all the heartache.

Sometimes it's okay to be surprised. It's going to sound stupid, and I wouldn't ever say this out loud, but the way Theo and I came out to each other was sort of like getting caught in a thunderstorm. Storms can suck when they're knocking out power and ripping apart houses, no doubt. But other times the thunder is a soundtrack to something unpredictable, something that gets our hearts racing and wakes us up. If someone had warned me about the weather, I might have freaked out and stayed inside.
But I didn't.

Malcolm stares out the window, wishing he could glimpse Rufus on his bike turning a corner, and he finally cries, these loud, stuttering sobs, not because he'll now have a criminal record, not because he's scared to go to the police station, not even because Rufus is dying, but because the biggest crime of all tonight was not being able to hug his best friend goodbye.

I would've loved you if we had more time.

If you're not a superhero or a sorcerer, my memory is bad at retaining any information about you.

Silence is sometimes better than someone speaking before they're ready. That is how lies slip out.

If I can fly here for you, where will I go for me?

I look up, and Jackson's eyes find mine. For a second, it almost feels like we're about to race into the hole to join you. Being buried alive has got to be better than whatever comes next.

I'm not sure about this newness I should look forward too, but I know this begins with me trying to become my own rock. I've leaned on Jackson for the better part of this past month and Wade before that. Being my own rock is promising, but it would be a huge lie if I didn't admit that becoming a mountain with someone else could be equally rewarding.

Grieving would probably feel a little less lonely if I could turn to someone my own age, maybe a little older and wiser and scarred from battles I'm fighting for the first time. Maybe I wouldn't have done the things I've done.

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Here we are, two boys sitting in a cemetery as it begins drizzling, trading stories in my half-dug grave, as if we're not dying today.

In that moment, I wish my existence were as simple as being set on fire and exploding in the sky.

But this universe is the only one that matters, and I have one last question for you: I didn't get our history wrong, did I?

It's weirdly possessive and obsessive to like someone; you want to learn all of his stories before anyone else and sometimes you want to be the only one who knows at all.

Sometimes the truth is a secret you're keeping from yourself because living a lie is easier.

I have to push ahead with the people who don't take the easy way out, who love me enough to stay alive even whe life sucks

but until then I promise to be the Mario to your Luigi, except I won't hog the spotlight.

And you should know I'm really pissed because you swore you would never die and yet here we are.

Kneel before the king, Griff." I look around for the king. "Me, asshole. I'm the king. Who else would be the king? Wade?"
[...]
"On this rainy Thursday, I, King Theo of New York City, praise you, Sir Griffin of New York City, for your vast knowledge of fantasy novels I"ll never take the time to read myself. And for having the kind of laugh that I like hearing so much I would punch myself over and over if you found it funny.

happiness comes again if you let it.

Every universe I've created lately, your face keeps popping up in it.

Fine.I'll never die, Theo says, hugging me closer to him.
I mean it. Promise me.
I promise you:I'll never die

I'm lucky to have parents who know when to go to war with me and when to leave me alone in the battlefield.

I morph into a white man so no one will bother me.

I'm blown away by how happy you make me. Thank you for being there for me when I'm stupid enough to think I'd rather be alone.

I didn't grow up with powers, but I've been a brother for eighteen years. No fire burns brighter than that.

Well, this all kind of reminds me of that blackout a few years ago. Remember? I was outside when it happened and it was so dark out I could barely see my own hand, let alone what was up the street. But I kept going forward, step by step, until I reached a familiar corner. Sometimes you just have to push ahead to find what you're looking for.

I kiss my Last Friend, because the world can't be against us, if it brought us together.

Every mistake I've made, every wrong I've repeated, every unhealed headache: I feel it all and more as the weight of my old world crushes me. If you looked inside me, I bet you'd find two different hearts beating for two different people, like the sun and moon up at the same time, a terrible eclipse I'm the only witness to.

My worlds collided and I can't get up.

There has to be more to life than just imagining a future for yourself. I can't just wish for the future; I have to take risks to create it.

But there is the happiness he promised, too. He loves me without being in love with me and that's all I can ask of him. I don't even need to hear him say it to believe it.

People need people. That's that.

People have their time stamps on how long you should know someone before earning the right to say it, but I wouldn't lie to you no matter how little time we have. People waste time and wait for the right moment and we don't have that luxury. If we had our entire lives ahead of us I bet you'd get tired of me telling you how much I love you because I'm positive that's the path we were heading on. But because we're about to die, I want to say it as many times as I want---I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

He didn't say that 'love is within' or 'love is all around you.' (...) love is a superpower we all have. But it's not always a superpower I'd be able to control, especially as I get older. Sometimes it'll go crazy and I shouldn't be scared if my power hits someone I'm not expecting it to.

I am more happy than not, Don't forget me

Puzzles are sort of like life because you can mess up and rebuild later, and you're likely smarter the next time around.

I think we're already dead, dude. Not everyone, just Deckers. The whole Death-Cast thing seems too fantasy to be true. Knowing when our last day is going down so we can live it right? Straight-up fantasy. The first afterlife kicks off when Death-Cast tells us to live out our day knowing it's our last; that way we'll take full advantage of it, thinking we're still alive. Then we enter the next and final afterlife without any regrets

I don't know what will be left of me if love and grief can't bring you back to life. Maybe I need to be brought back to life, too.

It's almost as if we're made of the same messed-up clockwork, ticking and ticking out of balance

The poetry you could write about Rufus helping me out of my grave isn't lost on me.

... the best fucking distraction of all is having someone who will hold me whenever I'm fucking lost and defeated.

But when someone is grieving, a genuine smile is a small victory in the big battle.

Even if I'm gay?" I say the word out loud, about myself, because even though I never chose this, I can choose to accept it before it's too late.

You're Penny's shot at happiness in a world that makes cheap promises and has no guarantees and doesn't always reward those who never did wrong. It's like, the world will just as easily screw with a good person as it will a not-so-good one, but you devote your days to someone else selflessly anyway.

I may not be able to cure cancer or end world hunger, but small kindnesses go a long way.

He talks a lot, which I'm fine with, and he's not good at maintaining eye contact, which sucks because I want to stare at this electric blue eyes. Punch me if I ever compare them to the sky or the ocean because they're much cooler than that.

Everyone plays a purpose, even fathers who lie to you or leave you behind. Time takes care of all that pain so if someone derails you, it'll be okay eventually.

Life isn't meant to be lived alone. Neither are End Days.

You're dead, and I'm the worst kind of alive.

This is still an ugly world.

Happiness shouldn't be this hard.

She once promised me that nothing bad would ever happen, and then I grew up and everything went wrong, but I believe her this time because the worst thing that can happen is that nothing will happen at all.

I wonder if Batman would save Robin over his girlfriend of the week. (The Dark Knight gets around, man.)

Your humanity is what makes you heroic, not your powers.

History is nothing. It can be recycled or thrown away completely. It isn't this sacred treasure chest I mistook it to be. We were something, but history isn't enough to keep something alive forever.

Love shouldn't only count when there's victory.

What's a colder word for freezing?" Jackson asks, bundled from head to toe in my dad's coat, hat gloves, and the scarf I forced on him.
"Fucking freezing?"
Jackson nods. "It's fucking freezing. I'm not sure I really want a snowman best friend anymore.

Memories: some can be sucker punching, others carry you forward; some stay with you forever, others you forget on your own. You can't really know which ones you'll survive if you don't stay on the battlefield, bad times shooting at you like bullets. But if you're lucky, you'll have plenty of good times to shield you.

Remember when we had trouble beating the last few levels of Zelda? We pooled our allowances and bought the walk-through guide to help us out.' He softly adds, 'You should've asked for help before cheating.

I want to wake up. And if I can't wake up, I want to go to sleep forever where there's a chance I dream everything beautiful about you, like how you looked at me for me and not because you wanted to gawk at this fuckery on my face.

I cannot tell you how you will survive without me. I cannot tell you how to mourn me. I cannot convince you to not feel guilty if you forget the anniversary of my death, or if you realize days or weeks or months have gone by without thinking about me. I just want you to live.

The strongest power above all is a living heart. Humanity is what makes heroes, not powers. The strongest power is humanity.

When someone puts their journey out there for you to watch, you pay attention - even if you know they'll die at the end.

How do you tell your best friend you won't be around tomorrow? How do you convince her to let you leave so you have a chance of living before you die?

Damn, grief is complicated enough without wondering how someone else is handling their own shade of it.

I only care about the people who wanna be in my life. Like Rufus. Remember how he was nervous about coming out to us because he didn't wanna stop sharing a room with us since we had so much fun? That's someone who wants to be my life. And I wanna be there for his. However much of it is left.

Maybe a bookshelf will topple over and that's how I go out -- painful, but there are worse ways to die.

Believe me, I know it can get ugly out here. There was a point where I didn't think any of this was worthwhile.

People are complicated puzzles, always trying to piece together a complete picture, but sometimes we get it wrong and sometimes we're left unfinished. Sometimes that's for the best. Some pieces can't be forced into a puzzle, or at least they shouldn't be, because they won't make sense.