Compromise Humor Quotes

Still it might be nice, once in a while, not to have to choose between evils. Just once, couldn't I choose the lesser good? ~ Laurell K. Hamilton

You mean something like 'truth or dare'? I haven't played that in a long time." She didn't think he would ever get himself entangled in a game like that, but it was addictive, a compromising icebreaker featuring all the strategy of Poker, minus the cards, mixed with a dash of danger from Russian Roulette, without the revolver. ~ E.A. Bucchianeri

And what would you like, Sharie?" asked Miss Mush.
"What do you have?" asked Sharie.
"Potato salad".
"What else is there?" asked Sharie.
"Nothing" said Miss Mush.
"Okay" said Sharie. "I'll have that."
"Potato salad?" asked Miss Mush.
"No,nothing." said Sharie. ~ Louis Sachar

They're only askin' you to do one thing. From what Rogue says, you ain't exactly reluctant."
"F**k myself into a coma. Sure, I can do that. Then what?"
"Uh, wait an hour? ~ Michelle O'Leary

Sir. My lord. Master Roydon." The young man blurted out most available titles except for "Your Majesty" and "Prince of Darkness." These were implied nonetheless. ~ Deborah Harkness

Dinner was a disaster. Brent introduced himself while staring at my bulge, and I was glad to be shown to our table so that we were seated with a table between us, forcing him to look me in the eye. Apparently, my eyes have moved down to my pecs, though, as that's where he decided to fix his attention throughout dinner. ~ Brett Kiellerop-Morris

Love is a bonfire. It's every kind word. It's every sincere apology. It's every compromise. ~ Nessie Q.

While serving one of his countless sentences of imprisonment, he was given ex-wrestler Paul as cell companion. Paul was at that time a dock worker; he was in jail for having, during a strike riot, remembered his professional past and applied the grip known as a double Nelson to a policeman. This grip consisted in passing one's arms through the opponent's arm­pits from behind, locking one's hands behind his neck,
and pressing his head down until the neck vertebra began to crack. In the ring this had always brought him considerable applause, but he had learned to his regret that in the class struggle the double Nelson was not done. ~ Arthur Koestler

I think he could handle being used. It would be good for him. He's having trouble sleeping. ~ Victoria Dahl

The symbologist made a cryptic sign. That remains to be seen, as the cat said who voided into the sugar bowl. ~ Jack Vance

At the Temple of the Seven-Handed Sek a hasty convocation of priests and ritual heart-transplant artisans agreed that the hundred-span-high statue of Sek was altogether too holy to be made into a magic picture, but a payment of two rhinu left them astoundedly agreeing that perhaps He wasn't as holy as all that.
A prolonged session at the Whore Pits produced a number of colourful and instrutive pictures, a number of which Rincewind concealed about his person for detailed perusal in private. As the fumes cleared from his brain he began to speculate seriously as to how the iconograph worked. ~ Terry Pratchett

Compromise is a word found only in the vocabulary of those who have no will to fight. ~ Josemaria Escriva

My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. He sold it to me on his deathbed. I wrote him a cheque for it, post dated of course. ~ Chic Murray

She stared at me "You have a message," she said. "On you machine."
I looked over at my answering machine. Sure enough, the light was blinking. The woman really was a detective.
"It's some girl," La Guerta said. "She sounds kind of sleepy and happy. You got a girlfriend, Dexter?" there was a strange hint of a challenge in her voice.
"You know how it is," I said. "Women today are so forward, and when you are as handsome as I am they absolutely fling themselves at your head." Perhaps an unfortunate choice of words; as I said it I couldn't help thinking of the woman's head flung at me not so long ago.
"Watch out," La Guerta said. "Sooner or later one of them will stick." I had no idea what she thought that meant, but it was a very unsettling image.
"I'm sure you're right," I said. "Until then, carpe diem."
"What?"
"It's Latin," I said. "It means, complain in the daylight. ~ Jeff Lindsay

At bank, post office or supermarket, there is one universal law which you ignore at your own peril: the shortest line moves the slowest. ~ Bill Vaughan

Exercise II.
Write a diary, imagining that you are trying to make an old person jealous. I have written an example to get you started:
Dear Diary,
I spent the morning admiring my skin elasticity.
God alive, I feel supple. ~ Joe Dunthorne

Do you remember that time we were acolytes and you talked me out of doing something I desperately wanted by appealing to my sensible side?" The boy tilted his head. "...NO." "Me either ~ Jay Kristoff

Attention, strong, independent women of the world: Please tell me how to turn this stupid voice off ~ Jessica Pennington

Humor's an excellent way to make a point more palatable and/or relatable. ~ Jen Lancaster

Humor, however broad and genial, takes a narrower view than enthusiasm. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Sopping, and with no sign of stopping, either- then a breather. Warm again, storm again- what is the norm, again? It's fine, it's not, it's suddenly hot: Boom, crash, lightning flash! ~ Old Farmer's Almanac

Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor but the highest form of flattery. ~ Benjamin Franklin

She had one of those husky voices that sounded as if she were permanently coming down with a cold. Men seemed to find that sexy in a woman, which Jackson thought was odd because it made women sound less like women and more like men. Maybe it was a gay thing. ~ Kate Atkinson

It's official. Highway patrolmen are not susceptible to the Jedi Mind Trick. ~ Stephen Colbert

Nothing so uncertain as general reputation. A man injures me from humor, passion, or interest; hates me because he has injured me; and speaks ill of me because he hates me. ~ Henry Home, Lord Kames

Which brings us to the least sexy word in the English language, kids," Dad said, kicking back in his chair. "Inbreeding. Avoid it. ~ Sarah Rees Brennan

It's a little early in our relationship for us to be 'surmounting,' but, hey, I'm game if you are. I'll even let you be on top." He looked directly at me, a coy smile playing on his lips. ~ Stacey Marie Brown

Wait. You have two Ph.D.'s?"
"Yeah." Shane passed it off as if it were as common as having two nipples. ~ K.A. Mitchell

All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God. ~ Voltaire

Out of love for mankind, and out of despair at my embarrassing situation, seeing that I had accomplished nothing and was unable to make anything easier than it had already been made, and moved by a genuine interest in those who make everything easy, I conceived it as my task to create difficulties everywhere. ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Common Sense is that which judges the things given to it by other senses. ~ Leonardo Da Vinci

Last hopeless chances have got to work. Nothing makes sense otherwise. You might as well not be alive. ~ Terry Pratchett

I think some of the big characters, you know, they do these adventures, but they've got something about them, they've got this charisma, and they've got to have a sense of humor. Because whether it be very dry, or very silly, they've got to be likable. ~ Rhys Darby

You are more than likely thinking by now that all of this sounds somewhat fanciful, perhaps over the top, all too complicated and even perhaps at times chaotic. It may seem so at first glance, but life here is a complex and intriguing happening, with never a dull moment to be had. And why should it not be so? "Death" as you have named it, is not the end of life. It is to us a birth back here once again to our side, to our true home. So it is a rebirth in a sense. ~ Natasha Rendell

Mrs. Palmer is a teacher so naturally I assumed she would never do anything good for me. ~ Jim Benton

I'm asked a lot what the best thing about cooking for a living is. And it's this: to be a part of a subculture. To be part of a historical continuum, a secret society with its own language and customs. To enjoy the instant gratification of making something good with one's hands
using all one's senses. It can be, at times, the purest and most unselfish way of giving pleasure (thought oral sex has to be a close second). ~ Anthony Bourdain

Life is short. Eat dessert first
-Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink And The Meaning Of Life ~ Wendy Mass

No. Now, shut up and eat your pears. ~ Suzanne Collins

A blow job. Why did people do these things to each other? Artemis felt faintly sick. ~ Marie Phillips

Did you meet your soul mate? That always happens on the first day of school, right?'

'Oh God, Charlie, she's letting you read again! You went straight to the paranormal section, didn't you? ~ Francesca Zappia

There is a difference between being mad and being surrounded by retards. ~ Blanco

I fink I gots deaf on me willie. ~ Christopher Moore

So, I suppose you just have a sense of where it is. And you don't have to be precise, is that it?"
"Allah is great. He has such wide shoulders."
Carl stuck out his lower lip in a pout. Of course Allah did. What was he thinking, anyway? ~ Jussi Adler-Olsen

Humor is a hole that lets the sawdust out of a stuffed shirt. ~ John McKeithen

My point is you're different here.
Hollis I've only been here for a month.
A lot can happen in a month he replied. Shoot in two weeks I met my future wife changed my entire life's trajectory and bought my first tie.
You bought a tie I asked. Because honestly this was the most shocking part. ~ Sarah Dessen

The gilded confines of the Beauty Hall were not my preferred habitat; like the chicken that had laid the eggs for my sandwich, I was more of a free-range creature. ~ Gail Honeyman

Jeremy fixed her with a dark look, full of reproach. A hot blush singed the tips of her opal-adorned ears. For a moment, Lucy felt as though she were sitting in the breakfast room wearing only her nightgown - or less. But if he meant to shame her, he would be sorely disappointed. Her lips tingled, and she slowly wet them with her tongue before flashing him a bold grin. He quickly looked away.
Oh, what fun it was to vex him. He made it so easy to do. Hunting and fishing were all welland good, but truly, Jemmy-baiting had always been her favorite autumn sport. Lucy viewedhis staid countenance as an unending challenge. A smooth, thick-shelled egg that begged to be cracked. Any rearrangement of his features constituted a victory, be it a wince, a scowl, or that rarest of expressions - a smile. A smile that showed teeth counted double.Last night had shown her an entirely new way to bedevil Jeremy Trescott. Not with girlish pranks, but with womanly wiles. Oh, yes. She
‟
d cracked the egg last night, but good. Hisexpression of befuddled desire was far more amusing than a wince or a scowl, or even asmile that showed teeth. That last kiss had to count at least ten.She lifted her cup of chocolate to her lips. Closing her eyes, she pressed her tongue againstthe cool china rim, remembering the power of a proper kiss. Drinking in the hot, sweetrichness, feeling delicious warmth spread down her throat and pool in her belly. And lower.She sighed into the cup. If Jeremy
~ Tessa Dare

The sky already fell. Now what? ~ Steven Wright

I'm hungry," Jason grumbled as he stared at the empty plates on his small
coffee table.
Brad groaned, "You practically ate both plates of cookies. How in the hell are
you hungry?"
Jason shrugged leaning back in his chair to watch the game. "I just am.
Leave me the hell alone I'm a growing boy, damn it!"
"Yeah, a growing thirty-one year old boy," Brad mumbled.
"I'm still growing damn it so shut the hell up and feed me!"
"Order something and stop bitching!" Brad snapped.
"You order something. I'm too weak to move. ~ R.L. Mathewson

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. ~ Akash Lal Karotia