Chainsaw Quotes

My wife Kimora once told me while we were watching "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" that it's a vegetarian movie because the way that the woman was screaming, "Aaaahhh," and trying to run away is how every animal you eat reacted at the slaughterhouse. ~ Russell Simmons

You can't change your beliefs as an act of will, in the way you can decide to improve your skills with chainsaw or keyboard. ~ Daniel C. Dennett

I'd never seen the King of Cats fight before. He was suddenly everywhere, made of nothing but fangs and claws and fury, snarling like a chainsaw trying to sing opera. Our witless assassin never stood a chance. ~ Seanan McGuire

Well did you call the hypothetical hardware store and buy a theoretical chainsaw?
Pam to Jessica, True Blood ~ Alan Ball

We all have a plan, those of us who love George Romero and Resident Evil. We all keep a sword under our bed, or a chainsaw in our garage. We know the quickest way to the mall, and we practise our stealthy moves when no-one else around is watching. We know where we'll get food, water and gasoline, and where we'll stay until society gets back on its feet. We know the zombies are coming. ~ Hugh Howey

I've got a chainsaw with my name on it in my workshop," Milo told us happily. "If I'm ever killed by undead, I want you guys to chop me up with it. It's a good chainsaw."
"I reckon it is, Milo. I would be honored to chop your head off," Sam said. ~ Larry Correia

Screw you twice! In your ass! With a chainsaw! ~ Jay McLean

Fuck you. Fuck you with a chainsaw! ~ Alex Adams

The type of real that fucks your heart with a chainsaw. ~ Lauren Blakely

If they made a film of my inner life, it would be more than the public could take. Mothers would scream, "Bring back The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, so we can have some decent family entertainment! ~ Edward St. Aubyn

You've heard shards of our voice in the phantom-radio code of a numbers station in the roar of a crowd - in the screams of your clock - in the scrape of a chalkboard - in the snow static of a TV - in the chainsaw-decibel mating of cicadas - in the urban mythos that spreads amongst children like contagion - in the silence between lies.

White noise becomes a cadence. Words develop self-awareness. Viral. Evolving. Living poetry. Sentient language. ~ Joshua Alan Doetsch

Where did you say you found that bird again?"
"In my head." Ronan's laugh was a sharp jackal cry.
"Dangerous place," commented Noah.
Ronan stumbled, all his edges blunted by alcohol, and the raven in his hands let out a feeble sound more percussive than vocal. He replied, "Not for Chainsaw."
Back out in the hard spring night, Gansey tipped his head back. Now that he knew that Ronan was all right, he could see that Henrietta after dark was a beautiful place, a patchwork town embroidered with black tree branches.
A raven, of all the birds for Ronan to turn up with.
Gansey didn't believe in coincidences. ~ Maggie Stiefvater

I find 'Chainsaw' to be a very relaxing film. ~ Lena Headey

I think the Chainsaw remake is very good and captures the spirit of the original film. It's true to the tone of the original, to the point that it's almost a companion piece. ~ Tobe Hooper

I was skeptical about doing Texas Chainsaw at first because it's such a cult classic. I'd seen some of the sequels and was not a fan of those. ~ Jessica Biel

If I was a serial killer? How I would kill somebody? I'm actually a very compulsive person ... I'd chainsaw people. ~ Brendon Urie

Noah held his hand out. She accepted it - it was bone-cold, as always - and together they turned to face the huge room. Noah took a deep breath as if they were preparing to explore the jungle instead of stepping deeper into Monmouth Manufacturing.
It seemed bigger with just the two of them there. The cobwebbed ceiling soared, dust motes making mobiles overhead. They turned their heads sideways and read the titles of the books aloud. Blue peered at Henrietta through the telescope. Noah daringly reattached one of the broken miniature roofs on Gansey's scale town. They went through the fridge tucked in the bathroom. Blue selected a soda. Noah took a plastic spoon. He chewed on it as Blue fed Chainsaw a leftover hamburger. They closed Ronan's door - if Gansey still managed to inhabit the rest of the apartment, Ronan's presence was still decidedly pervasive in his room. Noah showed Blue his room. They jumped on his perfectly made bed and then they played a bad game of pool. Noah lounged on the new sofa while Blue persuaded the old record player to play an LP too clever to interest either of them. They opened all the drawers on the desk in the main room. One of Gansey's EpiPens bounced against the interior of the topmost drawer as Blue withdrew a fancy pen. She copied Gansey's blocky handwriting onto a Nino's receipt as Noah put on a preppy sweater he'd found balled under the desk. She ate a mint leaf and breathed on Noah's face.
Crouching, they crab-walked along the aeri ~ Maggie Stiefvater

We're authors, too," Donegan said, "and we've been trying to get into the picture-book market. We have this idea for a Where's Wally type thing, except in ours, you'd have to find the one living person hiding in among all the dismembered corpses while the chainsaw-wielding killer hunts him down. You know, for kids."
"We're going to call is Save the Survivor," Gracious said. ~ Derek Landy

Land surveyors can spend as much time reading legislation, bylaws, and engineering documents as we spend in front of an instrument in the field or calculating coordinates for a subdivision. We are mathematicians, historians, project managers, advocates, engineers, and even chainsaw operators! ~ Mark Mason

I like reading, I like boring things, and yet I think people for ages had this image of me that I was on the tube with a chainsaw looking for any likely candidate. ~ Jo Brand

I've never seen 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre', I've never seen 'Halloween', I've never seen any of the 'Friday the 13ths.' ~ Lin Shaye

He's not in here, Ronan told her as she stretched her neck long in an attempt to see on top of the bed. Grunting in response, Chainsaw unsucessfully searched for entertainment. Matthew was a loud, joyful kid, but his room was orderly and spare. Ronan used to think that this was because Matthew kept all his clutter inside his curly-haired head. But now he suspected it was because Ronan had not had enough imagination to dream a fully formed human. Three-year-old Ronan had wanted a brother whose love was complete and uncomplicated. Three-year-old Ronan had dreamt Matthew, the opposite of Declan in every way. Was he human? ~ Maggie Stiefvater

He left Chainsaw behind, much to her irritation. Ronan didn't want her to learn any bad language. ~ Maggie Stiefvater

I had to admire the Evil Dead-level dedication that went into thinking "I'll take a chainsaw into battle against a werewolf," even as I wanted to find out who thought it was a good idea and shake them until they realized the error of their ways. Almost ~ Seanan McGuire

Good question. (Acheron)
I have a better one. How are we going to clean up this mess? (Kyrian)
Nah, mine's even better. How do you hide a chainsaw in your locker at school? I'm thinking they're not going to stop, and while the school has a strict no-weapons policy, I don't think the plastic sporks in the cafeteria are going to do much to combat them. I need protection, man. Serious protection. (Nick) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

I don't have anything against either of the Dead movies, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, none of those movies. If it scares somebody, I think that it is serving a valid purpose. It is doing what the filmmaker intended. But, it is not something that you hand to kids. ~ Stephen King

They say when you're about to die, your entire life flashes before your eyes. Well, now I know that when you're about to kill someone, the same thing happens. Except that instead of your entire life, it's just the moments you had spent with that person, and as every moment flashes by, it now contains a chainsaw. ~ Cherry Cheva

There was another pause, and Gansey realized she'd hung up. He leaned back against the fridge, eyes closed, guilty, comforted, wild, contained. In twenty-four hours, he'd be waiting for this again.
You know better you know better you know better
"What the hell, man?" Ronan said.
Gansey's eyes flew open just as Ronan hit the lights. He stood in the doorway, headphones looped around his neck, Chainsaw hulking like a tender thug on his shoulder. Ronan's eyes found the phone by Gansey's leg, but he didn't ask, and Gansey didn't say anything. Ronan would hear a lie in a second, and the truth wasn't an option. Jealousy had ruined Ronan for the first several months of Adam's introduction into their group; this would hurt him more than that. ~ Maggie Stiefvater

Graffiti ultimately wins out over proper art because it becomes part of your city, it' s a tool; "I'll meet you in that pub, you know, the one opposite that wall with a picture of a monkey holding a chainsaw". I mean, how much more useful can a painting be than that? ~ Banksy

Every woman is a hallway full of locked doors under different names: past, future, hopes, fears, lust, and love. Some men come with keys. Some men come with lick picks. Byron St. James comes with a chainsaw. ~ Jessica Gadziala

One day, back when I working at a video store, a woman accompanied by her two small sons walked up the counter with a tape box displaying a man slicing off someone's head with a chainsaw. "Does this have any sex in it?" she asked. In my mind, it was like I was narrating a nature documentary on humans. "Watch as the American mother protects her young ones from dangerous influences. ~ Alex Bosworth

At Adam's fine cheekbones, his furrowed fair eyebrows, his beautiful hands, everything washed out by the furious light. He had memorized the shape of Adam's hands in particular: the way his thumb jutted awkwardly, boyishly; the roads of the prominent veins; the large knuckles that punctuated his long fingers. In dreams Ronan put them to his mouth. His feelings for Adam were an oil spill; he'd let them overflow and now there wasn't a damn place in the ocean that wouldn't catch fire if he dropped a match. Chainsaw ~ Maggie Stiefvater

Hey, I heard this great song," he said. Gansey tried to tune out the sound of a raven horking down a hot dog. "Want a listen?"

Gansey and Ronan rarely agreed on music, but Gansey shrugged an agreement.

Removing his headphones from his neck, Ronan placed them on Gansey´s ears - they smelled a little dusty and birdy from proximity to Chainsaw.

Sound came through the headphones: "Squash one, squash tw -"

Gansey tore them off as Ronan dissolved into manic laughter, which Chainsaw echoed, flapping her wings, both of them terrible and amused.

"You bastard," Gansey said savagely. "You bastard. You betrayed my trust. ~ Maggie Stiefvater

The "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" hitchhiker really made people never want to hitchhike again - the hitcher, the show. Hitchhiking is always vaguely sexual. ~ John Waters

I'm telling you, the gorgeous of the world can actually look pretty intimidating when they scowl. Imagine a snow-white swan with a scary tattoo holding a chain saw. There's just no way to really prepare for that. ~ Jim Benton

I didn't take the death-and-dismemberment talk very seriously. Where could you rent a chainsaw at this time of night? ~ Sue Grafton

Outside, overgrown grass lapped dew on Ronan's boots, and mist curled around the tyres of the charcoal BMW. The sky over Monmouth Manufacturing was the colour of a muddy lake. It was cold, but Ronan's gasoline heart was firing. He settled into the car, letting it become his skin. The night air was still coiled beneath the seats and lurking in the door pockets; he shivered as he tethered his raven to the seat belt fastener in the passenger seat. Not the fanciest setup, but effective for keeping a corvid from flapping around one's sports car. Chainsaw bit him, but not as hard as the early morning cold. ~ Maggie Stiefvater

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. ~ Nico Mirallegro

My life was the best omelette you could make with a chainsaw ~ Thomas McGuane

It's amazing what you can do with an E in A-Level art, a twisted imagination and a chainsaw. ~ Damien Hirst

They went through the fridge tucked in the bathroom. Blue selected a soda. Noah took a plastic spoon. He chewed on it as Blue fed Chainsaw a leftover hamburger. ~ Maggie Stiefvater

There's a great scene in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre [1974] that I'm obsessed with: Sally is being chased by Leatherface with a chainsaw. And she runs into thorn bushes. And she's getting tangled up in it because she's running fast. But Sally needs to move slowly in order to get through the bushes - she will get farther faster by going slowly because her hair and clothes won't get tangled and caught. There's something really beautiful about understanding that, while someone's chasing you with a chainsaw, you have to move more slowly in order to get away. ~ Christopher Bollen

Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please? ~ Chuck Palahniuk

Just when you start to like people, they come by and steal your chainsaw just to remind you how much you hate the world. ~ Jun Li Kanashii

I say we cut our government in half, with a chainsaw along their waists. ~ Jarod Kintz

Twenty miles on, we have spotted a roadside sign: 'CHAINSAW CARVED MUSHROOMS'. Troubles promptly forgotten, Stuart falls to gawping at the road ahead. What could it all be about? 'As one victim to another,' his body language seems to marvel, 'What's a mushroom done to deserve that kind of abuse?' Not even in the worst days of street-fighting did he ever experience ill-treatment on this scale. ~ Alexander Masters

The clips hurt. The presence of a chainsaw was terrifying. And Noah did not want to hear about insane Nazi poets. ~ Michael Grant

I guess now would be a good time to tell you," He said. "I took Chainsaw out of my dreams. ~ Maggie Stiefvater

We have to be back in three hours," Ronan said. "I just fed Chainsaw but she'll need it again."
"This," Gansey replied "is precisely why I didn't want to have a baby with you. ~ Maggie Stiefvater

We have this idea for a 'Where's Wally' type thing, except in ours, you'd have to find the one living person hiding in among all the dismembered corpses while the chainsaw-wielding killer hunts him down. You know, for kids. - Donegan ~ Derek Landy

Snarling like a chainsaw trying to sing opera ~ Seanan McGuire

The sound of a chainsaw going off inside the building had me meeting Amari's gaze, and he shot me a funny expression.

"You scared?"

He tilted his head to the side. "Why? If I say yes, will you hold my hand?"

Well, I hadn't been asking to flirt. I'd just been joking. But….

"No," I replied. "I'm going to be too busy holding Zac's hand. I don't want him having nightmares tonight."

He chuckled just as I felt a hand land on the back of my neck again, molding itself around it.

Tilting my head back, I found those familiar baby blues on me. I whispered, "But for real, I don't think I'll get scared, but if I do, I'm using you as a human shield. You've lived a much fuller life than I have. Technically, Amari's bigger but - "

My old friend scoffed. "We're the same size. You know people still call me 'Big Texas,' don't you?"

"Yeah, I know, but I started calling you that back when you were the biggest guy I knew. You're not even that big."

"Excuse me?"

It was too much fun to pick on him. "You're big, but you're not that big."

Zac's head reared back. "Aren't you five feet tall?"

"Five foot two."

Zac blinked.

I blinked.

He narrowed his eyes. "Swear to God, I'm tellin' Mama on you. ~ Mariana Zapata

Nobody will mess with us, huh? Ever seen The Hills Have Eyes? The Chainsaw Massacre? Psycho!"
He laughed. "Yes, but I'll murder anyone who comes near you, do you hear me?" I nodded with a smirk. ~ Shelly Crane

Perhaps once he had been a good clown. A noble clown. But he'd stolen Randall's chainsaw, and had to die. ~ Blake Crouch