Bill Cosby Fathers Day Quotes

Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity. ~ Bill Cosby

In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to disciplne a child is still a mystery to most fathers and ... mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it. ~ Bill Cosby

Most fathers and ... Mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it. ~ Bill Cosby

While fathers are pleasant figureheads, there is a special bond between children and their mothers. 'Do you help your mother clean up the house?' I asked one girl of seven. 'No,' she sweetly replied, 'I help make the mess.' It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it. ~ Bill Cosby

My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life. ~ Lee Iacocca

Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to "Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" was not "In the men's room, Julie. ~ Bill Cosby

It was then that I slipped in the darkness, unable to know if I could be seen.
I made myself small in the darkness, unable to know if I could be seen. I had left for hours every day for eight and a half years as I had left my mother or Ruth and Ray, my brother and sister, and certainly Mr. Harvey, but he, I now saw had never left me. His devotion to me had made me know again and again that I had been beloved. In the warm light of my father's love I had remained Susie Salmon-a girl with my whole life in front of me.
"I thought if I was very quiet I would hear you," he whispered.
"If I was still enough you might come back. ~ Alice Sebold

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge. ~ Bill Cosby

My dad used to say 'Always fight fire with fire,' which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade. ~ Harry Hill

Son, brother, father, lover, friend. There is room in the heart for all the affections, as there is room in heaven for all the stars. ~ Victor Hugo

That you just naturally want what we, your fathers, work night and day to make sure you want? Grow up, for Christ's sake. Join the world. We produce what makes you want to need to consume. Advertising. Laxatives. HMO's. Baking soda. Insurance. Your fears are built - and your wishes, on that foundation. ~ David Foster Wallace

You can't be everything to everyone ~ Bill Cosby

I'm old, not dead. ~ Bill Cosby

My father wanted me to play pro football, and he didn't like the fact that I'd left school. And he said, It takes a man to play football. And any fool can go up on the stage and make an ass of himself. ~ Bill Cosby

I regret that I do not have the dignity of Ricardo Montalban, the class of Dean Martin, or the humor of Bill Cosby. I DO have the heart of a lion. ~ Burt Reynolds

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. ~ Bill Cosby

But I cannot be worrying-worrying all the time about the truth. I have to worry about the truth that can be lived with. And that is the difference between losing your marbles drinking the salty sea, or swallowing the stuff from the streams. My Niece-of-Shame believes in the talking cure, eh?" says Alsana, with something of a grin. "Talk, talk, talk and it will be better. Be honest, slice open your heart and spread the red stuff around. But the past is made of more than words, dearie. We married old men, you see? These bumps"
Alsana pats them both
"they will always have daddy-long-legs for fathers. One leg in the present, one in the past. No talking will change this. Their roots will always be tangled. And roots get dug up. Just look in my garden - birds at the coriander every bloody day ... ~ Zadie Smith

Blessed be God's name? Why, but why would I bless Him? Every fiber in me rebelled. Because He caused thousands of children to burn in His mass graves? Because he kept six crematoria working day and night, including Sabbath and the Holy Days? Because in His great might, He had created Auschwitz, Birkenau, Buna, and so many other factories of death? How could I say to Him: Blessed be Thou, Almighty, Master of the Universe, who chose us among all nations to be tortured day and night, to watch as our fathers, our mothers, our brothers, end up in the furnaces? Praised be Thy Holy Name, for having chosen us to be slaughtered on Thine altar? ~ Elie Wiesel

If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won't get them. If you take them just for emergency, that's all they're gonna get. ~ Bill Cosby

I have to follow my thoughts and mine for the gold. I have to dig it out. ~ Bill Cosby

Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.' ~ Bill Cosby

I've always liked and appreciated storytellers like Garry Shandling and Bill Cosby - more long-form comedy. So starting in San Francisco, watching all these great comics - Patton Oswalt, Dave Chappelle - you get to see them a bunch, and you go, 'Wow, this is where I need to be.' ~ Al Madrigal

I want to affect culture. I want to have my mark on everything. I give examples of people like Bill Cosby, Quincy Jones - those are the people who I look up to. The game wouldn't be the same without them. What happens in the course of 5 years isn't really important to me. I care about what they'll say about me in 50 years. ~ Nick Cannon

By our Heavenly Father and only because of God, only because of God. We're like other couples. We do not get along perfectly; we do not go without arguments and, as I call them, fights, and heartache and pain and hurting each other. But a marriage is three of us. ~ Barbara Mandrell

If a white man falls off a chair drunk, it's just a drunk.
If a Negro does, it's the whole damn Negro race. ~ Bill Cosby

With my wife Camille's help, I took to social networking. I'm working with the computers. ~ Bill Cosby

While they were still in the university, Osama and Jamal made a resolution. They decided to practice polygamy. It had become socially unacceptable in Saudi Arabia. "Our fathers' generation was using polygamy in not a very good way. They would not give equal justice to their wives," Khalifa admitted. "Sometimes they would marry and divorce in the same day. The Egyptian media used to put this on television, and it made a very bad impression. So, we said, 'Let's practice this and show people we can do it properly. ~ Lawrence Wright

You are the king no doubt, but in one respect,
at least, I am your equal: the right to reply.
I claim that privilege too.
I am not your slave. I serve Apollo.
I don't need Creon to speak for me in public.

So,
you mock my blindness? Let me tell you this.
You with your precious eyes,
you're blind to the corruption in your life,
to the house you live in, those you live with-
who are your parents? Do you know? All unknowing
you are the scourge of your own flesh and blood,
the dead below the earth and the living here above,
and the double lash of your mother and your father's curse
will whip you from this land one day, their footfall
treading you down in terror, darkness shrouding
your eyes that now can see the light!

Soon, soon,
you'll scream aloud - what haven won't reverberate?
What rock of Cithaeron won't scream back in echo?
That day you learn the truth about your marriage,
the wedding-march that sang you into your halls,
the lusty voyage home to the fatal harbor!
And a crowd of other horrors you'd never dream
will level you with yourself and all your children.

There. Now smear us with insults - Creon, myself
and every word I've said. No man will ever
be rooted from the earth as brutally as you. ~ Robert Fagles

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. ~ George Herbert

Here is what I do on the first day of snowfall every year: I step out of the house early in the morning, still in my pajamas, hugging my arms against the chill. I find the driveway, my father's car, the walls, the trees, the rooftops, and the hills buried under a foot of snow. I smile. The sky is seamless and blue, the snow so white my eyes burn. I shovel a handful of the fresh snow into my mouth, listen to the muffled stillness broken only by the cawing of crows. I walk down the front steps, barefoot, and call for Hassan to come out and see. ~ Khaled Hosseini

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on. ~ Bill Cosby

The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love. ~ Bill Cosby

Every father says the same thing: "Where's your mother?" ~ Bill Cosby

Even during my father's 1984 gubernatorial campaign, it was, 'Do you want to grow up and be governor one day?' 'No. I am four.' ~ Chelsea Clinton

The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him. ~ Solomon

Bran's father sat solemnly on his horse, long brown hair stirring in the wind. His closely trimmed beard was shot with white, making him look older than his thirty-five years. He had a grim cast to his grey eyes this day, and he seemed not at all the man who would sit before the fire in the evening and talk softly of the age of heroes and the children of the forest. He had taken off Father's face, Bran thought, and donned the face of Lord Stark of Winterfell. There ~ George R R Martin

Jesus was stoned, but no rock hit him. He slipped into the crowd and was found later teaching on a hill somewhere. History tells us that he did nothing wrong, and we sacrificed him anyway.
The day my father died, I assured him he was headed for heaven, though I had a hard time believing in something that floated so aimlessly through the minds of children. The concept seemed fair and unfair in such equal amounts that it appeared to cancel itself out. I'd never met someone so deserving of eternal bliss, yet from the time I was a child I was taught we all deserve hell. I wondered if heaven existed at all.
But I wanted everlasting life to be real for the man who let me lie on his chest on a hammock in the backyard and taught me not to fear thunder. One of the many things my father taught me not to fear.
His breaths were labored and aided by machines. He wore a white hospital gown. I remember thinking, "I can't believe my father's going to die in a gown."
"Are you afraid?" I asked.
"Not at all," he strained. "I'm going to be with the Lord."
I wished I shared his confidence. For him, it was a priceless thing no one could take.
I wished the fear of death was like the fear of a passing storm cloud - something we outgrow with understanding. For men like my dad, I guess it was. ~ Christopher Hawke

If you have no arms

To hold your crying child but your own arms

And no legs but your own to run the stairs one more time

To fetch what was forgotten

I bow to you

If you have no vehicle

To tote your wee one but the wheels that you drive

And no one else to worry, "Is my baby okay?"

When you have to say goodbye on the doorsteps of daycare

or on that cursed first day of school

I bow to you

If you have no skill but your own skill

To replenish an ever-emptying bank account

And no answers but your own to

Satisfy the endless whys, hows, and whens your child asks and asks again

I bow to you

If you have no tongue to tell the truth

To keep your beloved on the path without a precipice

And no wisdom to impart

Except the wisdom that you've acquired

I bow to you

If the second chair is empty

Across the desk from a scornful, judging authority waiting

For your child's father to appear

And you straighten your spine where you sit

And manage to smile and say, "No one else is coming - I'm it."

Oh, I bow to you

If your head aches when the spotlight finally shines

on your child because your hands are the only hands there to applaud

I bow to you

If your heart aches because you ~ Toni Sorenson