Knock Knock Quotes

Knock! knock!
who's there?
me!
me who?
that's right?
what's right?
meehoo!
that's what I want to know!
what's what you want to know?
me who?
yes, exactly!
exactly what?
yes, I have exactlywatt on a chain!
exactly what on a chain?
yes!
yes what?
no, exactlywatt!
that's what I want to know!
I told you-exactlywatt!
exactly what?
yes!
yes what?
yes it's with me.
what's with you?
exactlywatt-that's what with me.
me who?
yes!
go away!
knock knock... ~ Shel Silverstein

- What do the children say?
- There's a thing the children say.
- What do the children say?
- They say: Will you always love me?
- Always.
- Will you always remember me?
- Always.
- Will you remember me a year from now?
- Yes, I will.
- Will you remember me two years from now?
- Yes, I will.
- Will you remember me five years from now?
- Yes, I will.
- Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- You see?
("Great Days," Forty Stories) ~ Donald Barthelme

5. Knock, knock. Who's there? To. To who? No, to whom. ~ Anonymous

I would not want to be a mobile home repo man. Those would be hard to sneak away - "Knock knock - Hi, would you go cut your grass and look that way for a half an hour?" ~ Mitch Hedberg

Here," Rob continued in an amiable voice, "I'll go through the whole thing, so you'll know how to answer next time." He cleared his throat and pounded on the door again. "Knock, knock!" he bellowed. "Who's there? Puck! Puck who? Puck, who will turn you into a squealing pig and stuff you in the oven if you don't get out of our way!" And with that, he banged open the door. ~ Julie Kagawa

I could feel the whole tunnel shake as Kampê pounded against it, roaring furiously. We didn't stick around to play knock, knock with her, though. ~ Rick Riordan

His teeth were now rattling on hers: knock-knock, who's there? Bicuspids. Bicuspids who? Bicuspids McAllister. And then his tongue came flicking out, looking for an opening, any opening, even a missing tooth. But she had no missing teeth and all the teeth she did have were clenched together as in a snapped bear trap. ~ Herman Raucher

Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock ... Who's There?.. Little endorphin ... Little endorphin who? ... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science. ~ Ellen DeGeneres

Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Knock, knock.
Jeff Dunham: Who's there?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Me, I kill you! ~ Jeff Dunham

Listen. There is a sound like the knocking of railway trucks in a siding. That is the happy concatenation of one event following another in our lives. Knock, knock, knock. Must, must, must. Must go, must sleep, must wake, must get up - sober, merciful word which we pretend to revile, which we press tight to our hearts, without which we should be undone. How we worship that sound like the knocking together of trucks in a siding! ~ Virginia Woolf

Me plus you. (Imma tell you one time) Me plus you. (Imma tell you one time)
Me plus you. (Imma tell you one time)
One time.
When I met ya girl my heart when knock (knock knock)
Now them butterflies in my stomach won't stop (stop stop)
Even love is a struggle and it's all we got.
So we gun keep keep climbing to the mountain top.
'Cause your world, is my world, and my breath is your breath, and my heart is yours ... ~ Justin Bieber

Forget it once. *** Knock, knock! Who's there? Accordion! Accordion who? Accordion to the TV, it's going to rain tomorrow. *** Yo momma so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building but got lost on the way down. *** Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river? Student: Because it has four eyes and can't see! *** Teacher: "Why are you on the floor?" Johnny: "Because you said to do this math problem without tables!" *** How do you make an elephant float? Take one elephant, two tons of ice cream, and one ton of soda. Blend. *** In ~ Various

Knock knock! Who's ~ LOL Funny Joke Club

Knock, knock. You have the day to hide. Come nightfall, we hunt. (Desiderius)
Yeah, yeah ... you and your little dog, too. (Kyrian)
You're not scared of his threats? (Amanda)
Chere, the day I fear something like him is the day I lie down at his feet and hand him the knife to cut my heart out. The only fear I have is getting you back to your sister and convincing High Queen Hard Head to leave off this matter until I can locate Desiderius and send his soul into oblivion where it belongs. (Kyrian) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

looked up at me. Very content with herself, she opened her mouth, showed me the great job she did on me--- by holding all of my cum in her mouth. Once she got a real nasty look at me, only then she finally felt satisfied enough to swallow it, wetting her lips and savoring the after taste. I simply looked at her with my head tilted sideways. You....fucking...slut. If only I could have said that out loud, but as a hell of a compliment. "Knock knock knock..." There goes the door again. "Okay, that's it! Get the fuck up, now!" My fatherly instinct came over me for a moment as I dragged her off her feet and zipped my pants-- a bit of a bulge still relatively visible under my pants. I pulled my shirt down as a last ditch effort. I approached the front door and opened it with curiosity. "Sorry, ~ Destiny Wild

Knock knock." "Who's there?" said Alaska. I looked at her blankly. About a minute later, I got it, and laughed. ~ John Green

6. ANDRES INIESTA - SPAIN (No matter what they say six is better than seven) 5. DAVID BECKHAM - ENGLAND (High five!) 4. KAKA - BRAZIL (I'm number four on the list but number one in your heart) 3. DIEGO MARADONA - ARGENTINA (I'm the trifecta!) 2. LIONEL MESSI - ARGENTINA (Watch out I'm right behind you.) 1. PELE - BRAZIL (Knock knock, who's there? Best, Best who, Best Ever) ~ Alex Trost

Knock, knock!" he called in a high, singsong voice.
For a moment, silence. Then a thud and a crash, as if something heavy had been hurled at the door. "Go away!" snarled the voice from within.
"Ah, no. That's not how the joke goes," called Rob. "I say 'knock, knock', and you're supposed to answer with 'who's there?'"
"Fuck off!"
Nope, that's still wrong." Robbie seemed unperturbed. I, however, was horrified at Ethan's language, though I knew it wasn't him. "Here," continued Rob in an amiable voice, "I'll go through the whole thing, so you'll know how to answer next time." He cleared his throat and pounded at the door again. "Knock, knock!" he bellowed. "Who's there? Puck! Puck who? Puck, who will turn you into a squealing pig and stuff you in the oven if you don't get out of our way!" And with that, he banged the door open. ~ Julie Kagawa

Do you understand that you are exactly attractive enough and thin enough (even if you weigh four hundred pounds) and smart enough and funny enough, even if you cannot tell a knock-knock joke without fucking it up? You are exactly everything enough to the person who thinks you are.
Just like when you look at them, your eyes will get all wet and girly. Because of their beauty. Even if by any ordinary, reasonable standard, they're short and old and have bad skin. ~ Augusten Burroughs

Knock, knock. (Desiderius)
Now, ain't this a bitch. Here I am, trying to kiss my girl, and you have to interrupt us. What, were you raised in a barn? By the way, touch the woman, or the Lamborghini, and you're a dead man. (Kyrian) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

An intercom popped on and Paris dais, "Knock. Knock."
Static and then a woman's voice said, "Who's there?"
Kat raised a brow at me, and I shrugged.
"The interruption cow," Paris said, glancing at Luc, who shook his head.
From the intercom, "The inter-"
"Moooooo!" Pars dais, snickerin.
Kat giggled.
Archer rolled his eyes and shook his head.
There was an audible huff from the intercom. "That was stupid. The gate is opening. Give ist a sec."
"That was pretty lame" I said.
Paris chuckled. "I saw it on the Internet. Made me laugh. I got more. Want to hear them?"
"No." My rebuttal was joined by Archer's. Something we agreed on. Huh. Go figure.
"Too bad." Paris eased forward as the gated split, spreading wide. "That wasn't even my best one. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout

Feydeau's one rule of playwriting:
Character A: My life is perfect as long as I don't see Character B.
Knock Knock.
Enter Character B. ~ John Guare

I'd thought for so long that I would become a schizophrenic, and if I was a schizophrenic, that's all I would ever be. But a person doesn't become their diagnosis. Your mom isn't breast cancer, you don't become cancer. You live with cancer. So often, we think of a person living with mental illness as their mental illness, and that's unfair. A person is never their diagnosis, not even my mom. Delilah showed me that. She lives - and has lived - a full life. She has a husband. They travel. She's a photographer, an artist. She tells the funniest knock-knock jokes I've ever heard. She takes her meds every day, but still has hallucinations from time to time. She is not schizophrenic. She lives with schizophrenia. ~ Penny Reid

The tiny space, the toilet, two hundred strangers just a few inches away, it's so exciting, the lack of room to maneuver, it helps if you're double-jointed. Use your imagination. Some creativity and a few simple stretching exercises and you can be knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door. You'll be amazed how time flies. ~ Chuck Palahniuk

Girls, I was dead and down
in the Underworld, a shade,
a shadow of my former self, nowhen.
It was a place where language stopped,
a black full stop, a black hole
Where the words had to come to an end.
And end they did there,
last words,
famous or not.
It suited me down to the ground.

So imagine me there,
unavailable,
out of this world,
then picture my face in that place
of Eternal Repose,
in the one place you'd think a girl would be safe
from the kind of a man
who follows her round
writing poems,
hovers about
while she reads them,
calls her His Muse,
and once sulked for a night and a day
because she remarked on his weakness for abstract nouns.
Just picture my face
when I heard -
Ye Gods -
a familiar knock-knock at Death's door.

Him.
Big O.
Larger than life.
With his lyre
and a poem to pitch, with me as the prize.

Things were different back then.
For the men, verse-wise,
Big O was the boy. Legendary.
The blurb on the back of his books claimed
that animals,
aardvark to zebra,
flocked to his side when he sang,
fish leapt in their shoals
at the sound of his voice,
even the mute, sullen stones at his feet
wept wee, silver tears.

Bollocks. (I'd done all the typing myself,
I should know.)
And given my time all over again,
rest a ~ Carol Ann Duffy

Knock-knock, motherfucker. ~ Jenny Lawson

Knock, Knock!' [Puck] called in a high, singsong voice.
For a moment, silence. Then came a thud and a crash, as if something heavy had been hurled at the door. 'Go away!' snaled the voice from within.
'Ah, no. That's not how the joke goes,' called Puck.'I say 'knock, knock', and you're supposed to answer with 'who's there?'
'Fuck off!'
'Nope, that's still wrong ~ Julie Kagawa

Introduction Did you know that Shakespeare wrote the world's first ever knock knock joke? ~ Jack Goldstein

What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes. ~ Carlos Mencia

Even if i'm setting myself up for failure, I think it's worth trying to be a mother who delights in who her children are, in their knock-knock jokes and earnest questions. A mother who spends less time obseessing about what will happen, or what has happened, and more time reveling in what is. A mother who doesn't fret over failings and slights, who realizes her worries and anxieties are just thoughts, the continuous chattering and judgement of a too busy mind. A mother who doesn't worry so much about being bad or good but just recognizes that she's both, and neither. A mother who does her best, and for whom that is good enough, even if, in the end, her best turns out to be, simply, not bad. ~ Ayelet Waldman

Knock-knock." Gina poked her head in the door.
"Come on in," Jones said. "We've got all our clothes on for a change. Oh, wait, it's you who gets it on in the - "
"Okay," Gina said. "Am I ever going to live this down?"
"Eventually," Molly said. "But Max singing you old Elvis songs over the walkie-talkie? Honey, that's going to be impossible to kill."
"I think it's sweet," Jones told her.
"The singing or the kitchen tabling?" she asked.
"Both," he said. "Seriously, Gina. He's all right. ~ Suzanne Brockmann

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke. ~ Stephen Colbert

I like to wear a "Do Not Disturb" sign around my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock-knock jokes. "Hey, how ya doin'? Knock-knock." "Read the sign, punk!" ~ Mitch Hedberg

I enjoy darker sardonic wit more than knock-knock jokes. I spent the first healthy chunk of my career playing all-American, pleasant, average, nice people, so it's fun to have some complications there. ~ Neil Patrick Harris

Why did the warrior cross the road? [Koldo]
That's easy. To kill the guy on the other side. [Nicola]
A bud of amusement had her smiling.
Knock, knock. [Koldo]
Who's there? [Nicola]
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut run from me, puny girl. ~ Gena Showalter