Warrior Jokes Quotes

Why did the warrior cross the road? [Koldo]
That's easy. To kill the guy on the other side. [Nicola]
A bud of amusement had her smiling.
Knock, knock. [Koldo]
Who's there? [Nicola]
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut run from me, puny girl. ~ Gena Showalter

In both jokes and dreams, Freud observed, meanings are condensed and displaced, things are represented indirectly or by their opposites, fallacious reasoning trumps logic. Jokes often arise involuntarily, like dreams, and tend to be swiftly forgotten. From these similarities Freud inferred that jokes and dreams share a common origin in the unconscious. Both are essentially means of outwitting our inner censor. ~ Jim Holt

The Dalai Lama took the Archbishop's hand, and then they were more eight than eighty, laughing and making jokes together as they strolled toward the terminal, yellow umbrella sheltering above them. Even ~ Dalai Lama XIV

Arjuna is a warrior of great renown, says he won't fight. He tells Krishna: I can't fight because I love these people. It's immoral. It's unjust. There's no winning. ~ Frederick Lenz

I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person. ~ Lewis Black

There is a joke that I use all the time. I say it to my kids. I used to say it to my wife. She'd be talking to me about something very serious and then I would just look at her and go "Where are you from originally?" And she would go "Humphhh! C'mon. That's terrible!" ~ Stanley Tucci

They didn't have to be funny - they were father jokes. ~ Terry Pratchett

When I started out, the most terrifying thing was when I had to be very, very emotional in front of lots of people. Now I've kind of learned that it is very important to keep talking all day, keep making jokes, and be connected with people, and be present. It's very important for me to be absolutely present in order to be emotional. I learned that is sort of the way I need to be. ~ Julianne Moore

When confronted with unusual life situations ... A warrior acts as if nothing had ever happened, because he doesn't believe in anything, yet he accepts everything at its face value. ~ Carlos Castaneda

Fright is something one can never get over. When a warrior is caught in such a tight spot he would simply turn his back to the ally without thinking twice. A warrior cannot indulge thus he cannot die of fright. A warrior allows the ally to come only when he is good and ready. When he is strong enough to grapple with the ally he opens up his gap and lurches out, grabs the ally, keeps him pinned down and maintains his stare on him for exactly the time he has to, then he moves his eyes away and releases the ally and lets him go. A warrior, my little friend, is the master at all times ~ Carlos Castaneda

Old urges continue to arise, but urges do not matter; only actions do. A warrior is as a warrior does. ~ Dan Millman

Ivypool backed away. She twisted and ducked under him as he leaped, but his claws sank into her tail and pinned her to the ground. Thistleclaw and Snowtuft attacked from opposite sides, snarling, slicing her ears. She struggled away from them, crashing into hard muscle. Hawkfrost was behind her now. He stabbed his claws into her shoulders. With a gasp, Ivypool saw his teeth flashing beside her throat. Then a black pelt flashed over the top of the gorse. Paws landed with a thump beside her.
"Get off her!" Hollyleaf yowled.
Ivypool's world spun as the black warrior slammed into Hawkfrost and sent him reeling into the gorse. Free from Hawkfrost's claws, Ivypool turned on Thistleclaw and Snowtuft. She began slashing with her front paws, remembering in a crystalline moment every moon of training. Hollyleaf reared up beside her, matching her blow for blow, as though she instinctively knew where Ivypool would strike next. Blood sprayed the forest floor as Ivypool sliced Snowtuft's muzzle and tore Thistleclaw's nose. Turning she kicked with hind legs and knocked Thistleclaw backward, then sank her teeth into Snowtuft's neck.
The white warrior screeched and ripped free from her jaws. Ivypool tasted his blood as he hared away through the bracken. She met Thistleclaw's gaze. Fear sparked in his eyes as she spat out a bloody clump of Snowtuft's fur.
"Run," she hissed. "Because if you stay, I will kill you".
Mouth open, Thistleclaw fled, disappearing through the ~ Erin Hunter

I just want you that's it. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. Everything. I just want you ~ Sara Quin

I'm not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny. ~ Philippe Falardeau

When he wins the battle, the Warrior celebrates. ~ Paulo Coelho

Leo," Jason said, "you're weird."
"Yeah, you tell me that a lot." Leo grinned. "But if you don't remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes ... ! ~ Rick Riordan

There is a theory of space and time embedded in the way we use words. There is a theory of matter and a theory of causality, too. Our language has a model of sex in it (actually, two models), and conceptions of intimacy and power and fairness. Divinity, degradation, and danger are also ingrained in our mother tongue, together with a conception of well-being and a philosophy of free will. These conceptions vary in their details from language to language, but their overall logic is the same. They add up to a distinctively human model of reality, which differs in major ways from the objective understanding of reality eked out by our best science and logic. Though these ideas are woven into language, their roots are deeper than language itself. They lay out the ground rules for how we understand our surroundings, how we assign credit and blame to our fellows, and how we negotiate our relationships with them. A close look at our speech-our conversations, our jokes, our curses, our legal disputes, the names we give our babies-can therefore give us insight into who we are. ~ Steven Pinker

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. ~ Spike Milligan

He family motto, after all, is 'To Have and To Hold'. We were always a warrior breed, but we don't fight solely for lands and material wealth. There's an understanding, drummed into all of us from our earliest years, that success-true success-means capturing and holding , something more. That something more is the future-to excel is very well, but one needs to excel and survive. To seize lands is well and good, but we want to hold them for all time. Which means creating and building a family-defending the family that is, and creating the next generation. Because it's the next generation that's our future. Without securing that future, material success is no real success at all. ~ Stephanie Laurens

That's you," Wrath said. You shall be called the Black Dagger warrior Dhestroyer, descended of Wrath son of Wrath."
"But you'll always be Butch to us," Rhage cut in. "As well as hard-ass. Smart-ass. Royal pain in the ass. You know, whatever the situation calls for. I think as long as there's an ASS in there, it'll be accurate."
"How about bASStard?" Z suggested.
"Nice. I feel that. ~ J.R. Ward

Fuck anyone who thinks anything on someone like you could ever be anything beautiful. You should be proud of them, baby."
"Proud?"
"Yes, proud. They make you powerful. Each line is a road travelled, an experience you had, whether it was good or bad. Each mark is proof of pain in the past, not the present. You are a survivor, you are a warrior. These are the scalps hanging from your fucking belt. You took the beatings and here you are, in front of me. You are fucking amazing. ~ T.M. Frazier

My friends back home call me a warrior. In fact I'm a butterfly-faced warrior. ~ DeeDee Trotter

I'm a bit of a worrier, to an extreme. I'll crack a joke, then worry if I've offended someone - even when they're laughing. I have a guilt complex, always worrying. ~ Sophia Bush

Notebooks. There are dozens of notebooks. I always carry notebooks with me. I scribble in them in a barely readable scrawl. I do not write jokes. I write moments. Thoughts. Fragments that I have to sweat over as if they're cryptic texts in a lost language when I try to interpret them. That shouldn't be part of my process - decoding my own writing - but it has been for my entire life. What does that say about me? Why can't I make it easy? I need to complicate everything to protect myself from success and to remain complicated and overwhelmed. ~ Marc Maron

What do zombies chant at a riot?"

"Grrarphsnarg?" he asked, in a surprisingly well-done bit of mindless zombie imitating.

"No, but that was really good. Disconcertingly good."

"I was deceased for a time."

"True. But anyway, the rioters get all riled up, and they chant: 'What do we want? Brains! When do we want them? Brains!'" I fell into a wave of appropriately boisterous laughter; Ethan seemed less impressed.

"I truly hope the stipend we pay you doesn't get spent on the development of jokes like that. ~ Chloe Neill

We will not die cornered and cowering in the ruins of a dead city. ~ Rachel L. Schade

Be the hero of your children's story. Never let them believe for a minute that honor, courage and doing what is right is only reserved for other fathers and mothers. ~ Shannon L. Alder

Having lost faith in all else, zealots have nothing left but a holy cause to please a warrior God. They win if we become holy warriors, too; if we kill the innocent as they do; strike first at those who had not struck us; allow our leaders to use the fear of terrorism to make us afraid of the truth; cease to think and reason together, allowing others to tell what's in God's mind. ~ Bill Moyers

War steals from the warrior and builds walls around her or him." Though ~ Mark Reps

Luck?" Drizzt replied. "Perhaps. But more often, I dare to say, luck is simply the advantage a true warrior gains in excuting the correct course of action. ~ R.A. Salvatore

Life as a defeated warrior with dignity is lot better than the king ruling without it. ~ Vikrmn

A fucking pint-sized warrior. ~ Tillie Cole

You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good. ~ Tom Lehrer

I am a warrior, strong-willed and have a lot of perseverance. ~ Charlena E. Jackson

I saw that Roy was not inclined to be amused. I was not annoyed, for I am quite used to people not being amused at my jokes. I often think that the purest type of the artist is the humorist who laughs alone at his own jests. ~ W. Somerset Maugham

The big difference between a warrior and a victim is that the victim represses, and the warrior refrains. Victims repress because they are afraid to show the emotions, afraid to say what they want to say. To refrain is not the same thing as repression. To refrain is to hold the emotions and to express them in the right moment, not before, not later. That is why warriors are impeccable. They have complete control over their own emotions and therefore over their own behavior. ~ Miguel Ruiz

As daughter of our ruler I grew up in the crossfire of an ongoing war... All I'd ever wanted to be was a great warrior and ultimately lead my people into victorious battles. -Halíka Dacomé ~ Alexandra May

I stepped out of the circle of his arms with reluctance and patted him on his butt. "That'll do, donkey," I said, in my best Scottish accent. ~ H.D. Gordon

He did not like the grown-ups who talked down to him, but the ones who went on talking in their usual way, leaving him to leap along in their wake, jumping at meanings, guessing, clutching at known words, and chuckling at complicated jokes as they suddenly dawned. He had the glee of the porpoise then, pouring and leaping through strange seas. ~ T.H. White

There is no shame in failure. For a warrior the only shame is in not trying.) ~ Dave Grossman

Comedy has always been important in my family. If you got in a good joke at the dinner table, it meant more than almost anything else. ~ Isla Fisher

Don't let hollow heroes distract you from saving yourself. ~ Nikki Rowe

There's no emptiness in the life of a warrior. Everything is filled to the brim. Everything is filled to the brim, and everything is equal. ~ Carlos Castaneda

That's why an artist must be a warrior and, like all warriors, artists over time acquire modesty and humility. They may, some of them, conduct themselves flamboyantly in public. But alone with the work they are chaste and humble. They know they are not the source of the creations they bring into being. They only facilitate. They carry. They are the willing and skilled instruments of the gods and goddesses they serve. ~ Steven Pressfield

For all the jokes and complaints about the aches of air travel, it's pretty marvelous, if you think about it. ~ Tsh Oxenreider

When you can make others laugh with jokes that belittle no one and your words always unite, Hafiz will vote for you to be God. ~ Hafez

The shapes inched closer. I gaped at them, trying to discern their features. "I think I see dead people," I whispered.
"Yep," Aidan said, smiling. "More vampire jokes. You're just fine, then. Once this is over, you and my brother will be BFFs." He wrapped his arms around me, pressing me against his broad chest. Against my better judgement, I leaned into him, strangely comforted. ~ Jayde Scott

Don't threaten me with a good time. ~ Michael Anthony

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. ~ Joan Rivers