Donuts Quotes

I usually just get into a police character by drinking coffee and eating donuts, but those days are over. ~ Matt Servitto

I've got a surprise." Jase opens the door of the van for me a couple days later. I haven't seen Tim or Nan since the incident at the B&T, and I'm secretly glad for a break from the drama.
I slide into the van, my sneakers crunching into a crumpled pile of magazines, an empty Dunkin' Donuts coffee cup, various Poland Spring and Gatorade bottles, and lots of unidentifiable snack wrappers. Alice and her Bug are evidently still at work.
"A surprise, for me?" I ask, intrigued.
"Well, it's for me, but you too, kind of. I mean, it's something I want you to see."
This sounds a little unnerving. "Is it a body part?" I ask.
Jase rolls his eyes. "No. Jeez. I hope I'd be smoother than that."
I laugh. "Okay. Just checking. ~ Huntley Fitzpatrick

Let me tell you, I'm not sure if America runs on donuts, but I sure do! Nothin' like a little simple sugar icing to get the blood pumping at 9:00 A.M. ~ Chris Benz

Those of us that had been up all night were in no mood for coffee and donuts, we wanted strong drink. We were, after all, the cream of the national sporting press. ~ Hunter S. Thompson

If my colleagues stop eating donuts and are more active, it saves me money on next year's insurance premium, and I get to work with people who have more energy and creativity each day. Yet most organizations fail to make health a cultural priority. Instead, they treat healthcare like any other expense. ~ Tom Rath

I eat like no other; it drives everyone crazy. I eat donuts three times a day, and I probably go through four Mountain Dews a day. I'm on, like, a sugar high at all times, pretty much. ~ Britt Robertson

If you have a monster inside of you, please teach it how to jump, and laugh, and fly and catch fish! Please teach it to climb mountains to watch sunsets and wade in ponds to feel moonlight. Please love your monster, tell it that it has a home, teach it that it has a place in this world, maybe it likes ice cream, maybe marshmallows make it smile, maybe it goes to beautiful places in its dreams at night. One day it will sit atop a clocktower and cast sunbeams onto everyone! Because it will learn that! Because angels are too busy to do that, but monsters are not. Monsters would love to catch sunbeams and eat sugar donuts. Teach your monsters, they will form moonbeams one day! ~ C. JoyBell C.

At every level, from the microcellular to the psychological, exercise not only wards off the ill effects of chronic stress; it can also reverse them. Studies show that if researchers exercise rats that have been chronically stressed, that activity makes the hippocampus grow back to its preshriveled state. The mechanisms by which exercise changes how we think and feel are so much more effective than donuts, medicines, and wine. When you say you feel less stressed out after you go for a swim, or even a fast walk, you are. ~ John Ratey

Shut up and eat your donuts," I said, and turned to Demi, who was looking at me with a blankly questioning expression. "Sloane is full of shit. She's not allergic to the word 'please,' which is good for her, since if she were, we would all stand in a circle around her making polite requests until she went into anaphylactic shock. She just enjoys being horrible to the rest of us, and we let her, because we honestly can't think of a way to make her stop. ~ Seanan McGuire

You cannot go to a 7-11 or Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian Accent. ~ Joe Biden

God, do I love a sexy man who brings me donuts, ~ Maria K. Alexander

And if Travis was chocolate, then Gage was… donuts. Yes, sweet, flaky donuts. And the only thing better than donuts and chocolate was… well, donuts covered in chocolate. ~ Nicole Edwards

I couldn't find any humble pie this early in the morning, but the cream-filled [donuts] are chock full of humility. ~ Jean Marie Bauhaus

Maureen O'Brien's Bakery Lingo: A Partial Glossary
• 9 donuts - A shutout
• 2 croissants - A full moon
• 3 croissants - A ménage à trois
• 4 bear claws - Full smokey
• 2 bear claws - Half smokey
• The last one of any item - The gift of the Magi
• A baker's dozen of doughnut holes - a PG-13
• Anything in the unlikely quantity of 36 or a lot of something - A Wu-Tang
• Blueberry muffin - Chubby Checker
• Bran muffin - Warren G the regulator
• Any customer who left no tip - A libertarian
• Any customer who only tipped the coins from their change - A couch shaker
• Any person who requested a substitution - Master and demander
• Any person who requested TWO substitutions - Demander in chief
• Any person who requested MORE than two substitutions - The new executive chef

and finally....

• Any vegan customer - A Morrissey ~ J. Ryan Stradal

Despite romantic fantasies about caring candidates who learn of America in donut shops, most politicians rely on media to teach them what concerns the average person. ~ Dick Morris

That's my favorite food group: donut. I love the donut. ~ Laura Linney

I love Krispy Kreme donuts, but doesn't the thought of cream that's crispy just churn your stomach? ~ Steven Page

…those doughnuts are a lot better than having a mule kick you in the head,"

There was no argument there. ~ Richard Brautigan

Lovecraft says he knows about tentacles
but that motherfucker never bedded a girl from
West Chester
and survived
She was a toothache
that one
and she tasted like crack
the best thing about her
was if I was ever hungry
I could always make a meal out of whatever
was making rest at the corners of her mouth
I can't remember her name
as is the case with most of them
then again I can't remember
how many donuts I ate this morning
or how many beers I'll drink tonight,
tomorrow ~ Dave Matthes

I once said, "You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent." When Bobby Jindal entered the Republican campaign, my comment should have been covered again, more prominently. I mean, Jindal is not Native American, he's a real Indian. ~ Joe Biden

I still don't know if it's worth living in a world with no more donuts. ~ Peter Clines

When in doubt, eat donuts. ~ Larry Kramer

Adult librarians are like lazy bakers: their patrons want a jelly doughnut, so they give them a jelly doughnut. Children's librarians are ambitious bakers: 'You like the jelly doughnut? I'll get you a jelly doughnut. But you should try my cruller, too. My cruller is gonna blow your mind, kid. ~ John Green

In an age when so many groups are rolling out restaurants faster than your local baker makes donuts, my goal is that each restaurant feels hand-crafted. That they have their own soul. ~ Danny Meyer

I howl at the roof like a hotted-up bomb doing donuts, full of screeches. I howl like an air-raid siren, my arms stretched out wide. Howls are like songs. They can't be summoned; they just happen. They come from a place that I barely understand. And then something else climbs to the surface, something black and jagged, something from the deep. Imagine all your worse feelings surfacing. Imagine coughing up razor blades. Imagine not being able to stop the pain from coming out, and not knowing when it's going to end. ~ Leanne Hall

In Delaware, the largest growth in population is Indian-Americans moving from India. You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking. ~ Joe Biden

I was sacked from Dunkin' Donuts for squirting the donuts jelly all over the customers. ~ Madonna Ciccone

The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole. ~ Oscar Wilde

Dear Diary:
I have a confession to make: I've become a total idiot over French pastries.
They're my new favorite food.
My new-found edible souvenir.
My new favorite sin.
Dunkin Donuts is so yesterday. ~ Kimberley Montpetit

People are fans of Dunkin' Donuts. They have a relationship with the company, they go there every day. Dunkin' Donuts is using Twitter to communicate with those people. There are people who are finding value in that. There's thousands of people, I don't know how many thousands now, following Dunkin' Donuts. ~ Evan Williams

Claiming that someone's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet. ~ Seth Rogen

What with your phone and the Xbox and the taxi TV and that music player you wear on your arm and the headphones that look like donuts on your ears, doesn't it make life so much smaller? If absolutely everything important is only happening on such a small screen, isn't that a shame? Especially when the world is so overwhelmingly large and surprising? Are you missing too much? You can't imagine it now, but you'll look like me one day, even though you'll feel just the same as you do now. You'll catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and think how quickly it's all gone, and I wonder if all the time you used watching those families whose lives are filmed for the television, and making those cartoons of yourselves with panting dog tongues, and chasing after that terrible Pokémon fellow…well, will it feel like time well spent? ~ Lauren Graham

We're looking for quantum donuts," said Mike. ~ Peter Clines

God bless Dunkin' Donuts. ~ Lauren Oliver

Al and Lou had arrived at the Wisconsin State Fair by nine in the morning for fresh egg omelettes in the Agriculture Building and some apple cider donuts. They'd nibbled their donuts and wandered the stalls celebrating various products grown and raised in Wisconsin. You could sample and buy anything, from honey-filled plastic sticks to ostrich steaks to cranberry scones. They followed up their breakfast with a stop at the milk barn, where Lou had forced him to try root beer-flavored milk. While he'd been skeptical, it tasted delicious and precisely like a root beer float. ~ Amy E. Reichert

These are some huge donuts... ~ Ted Danson

More proof that trusting the Feds to protect our information is like hiring Homer Simpson to guard the donuts. ~ Robert X. Cringely

Abby had never met a sweet she didn't like: cookies, pie, chocolates, donuts, and yes, cupcakes. ~ Harper Ashe

I owe it all to little chocolate donuts. ~ John Belushi

I wanted to write something in a voice that was unique to who I was. And I wanted something that was accessible to the person who works at Dunkin Donuts or who drives a bus, someone who comes home with their feet hurting like my father, someone who's busy and has too many children, like my mother. ~ Sandra Cisneros

We have these weapons of mass destruction on every street corner, and they're called donuts, cheeseburgers, French fries, potato chips, junk food. Our kids are living on a junk food diet. ~ Joel Fuhrman

Some people aren't good at anything. Some people just really like donuts. ~ Lisa Graff

All right then, you should know that you missed out on mocha sugar donuts."
My mouth falls open. "How'd you get those? I thought the shop didn't open that early!"
"I went out and got them last night specifically for the bus ride," Peter says. "For you and me."
Aw. I'm touched. "Well, are there any left?"
"Nope. I ate them all."
He looks so smug that I reach out and swat at his hoodie strings. "You creep," I say, but I mean it affectionately.
Peter grabs my hand mid-swat and says, "Wanna hear something funny?"
"What?"
"I think I started liking you."
I go completely still. Then I pull my hand away from his, and I start to gather my hair into a ponytail, and then I remember I don't have a hair tie. My heart is thudding in my chest and it's hard to think all of a sudden. "Stop teasing."
"I'm not teasing. Why do you think I kissed you that day at McClaren's house back in seventh grade? It's why I went along with this thing in the first place. I've always thought you were cute."
My face feels hot. "In a quirky way."
Peter grins his perfect grin. "So? I guess I must like quirky, then. ~ Jenny Han

My hands fell asleep, so I washed them with hot coffee. Then I had donuts for breakfast, by way of spinning circles in my car and burning rubber in the parking garage of my office building. ~ Jarod Kintz

Sure, beauty has the power to excite men. But so does a box of donuts. ~ Susan Jane Gilman

That was so completely unfair that I told Tantalus to go chase a donut, which didn't help his mood. ~ Rick Riordan

Not all donuts have a hole and not all holes have donuts around them, so every mistake is relative and every perfection is subjective. ~ Corina Abdulahm Negura

In the fifties I had dreams about touching a naked woman and she would turn to bronze or the dream about hot dogs chasing donuts through the Lincoln Tunnel. ~ Robert Klein

They are bearcrawls ... a bearclaw is a donut ~ Jillian Michaels

Okay. Not gay. Not lovers, they both just appear to like donuts more than your average bear. ~ Jandy Nelson

When shopping at Dunkin' Donuts, pretend you are the mother of nine. Say things like, 'Little David likes cream-filled and Susie wanted jelly.' That way, no one will be suspicious when you order a dozen donuts with one cup of coffee to go. ~ Linda Sunshine

If America runs on Dunkin', do I detect a slight limp? ~ Josh Stern

You are driving home.
You listen to 'Tongue Tied' by Grouplove.
Someone side-swipes the Ferrari.
You almost strike three pedestrians and crash into a Dunkin' Donuts.
This is somewhere near the Brooklyn Bridge and you find out - later - the lady who hit you, she died.
She was old.
"Wasn't wearing her glasses," someone on the street says.
"She was basically driving blind," the police officer says. "I'm surprised this didn't happen earlier."
An EMT examines you.
You try and act normal.
"Am I hurt?" you ask.
"You're not hurt," the EMT says.
You talk to the cops.
"Am I in trouble?" you ask.
"You're not in trouble," a young cop says.
You freak out a little.
You can smell pomade in your sweat.
"Everything is under control," someone says - another police officer.
You freak out some more. ~ Mike Kleine

If you live in Boston, Samuel Adams draft beer (Summer Ale) and Dunkin' Donuts are essentials of life. But I discovered to my delight that even these indulgences can be offset by persistent exercise. ~ Haruki Murakami

Any shameful habits? Hobbies?" "Donuts. ~ Mina V. Esguerra

Nothing
would be
easier without
you,
because you
are
everything,
all of it-
sprinkles, quarks, giant
donuts, eggs sunny-side up-
you
are the ever-expanding
universe
to me. ~ Kate DiCamillo

On one end it had a few tables and a little kitchen that served as a diner where the old men sat and drank their coffee in the morning. "Sweaty Betty" Johnson (we called her Mrs. Johnson to her face) ran the diner and has for longer than I can remember. She's a one woman operation - she cooks, waitresses, and manages it all on her own. She makes fluffy homemade donuts and the best greasy french fries on the planet. Everything she makes is deep-fried, and her face has a permanent sheen from the grease and the heat – which is how she got the nickname Sweaty Betty. Even cleaned up for church on Sundays her face glows and sadly, it isn't from the Holy Spirit. ~ Amy Harmon

I really want donuts. But not regular donuts. I want mini donuts, but I also want them to be crunchy." He sat forward quickly. "Ah! Cherios. I want Cheerios. Do we have any? ~ Beth Ehemann

Could be an amazing product, sell like condoms at a high school prom, donuts at a police convention, sunscreen on a Caribbean crush ship. ~ Dennis Vickers

Body parts really don't like to be cut, stabbed or hacked into sections, and they express their anger by leaking all over the fuck. Jesus, we're, like, seventy percent water or something? And you learn that's so fucking true when you go to a fresh scene. Pools of it. Drips of it. Speckles of it. Then you got the stained clothes, rugs, bedsheets, walls, flooring - or if it's outside, the ground cover, the concrete, the asphalt. And then there's the smell. Blood, sweat, urine, other shit. That juicy bouquet will get in your sinuses and stay there for hours afterward." He shook his head again. "The older cases . . . the smell is worse than the mess. Water deaths, with the bloating, are just ugly - and if that gas that's built up gets out? The stench will knock you on your ass. And I don't know, I wasn't too crazy for the burn deaths either. I mean, you'd think we'd realize we're not different than any other mammal - cooked meat is cooked meat, period. But I've never seen a grown man puke up his coffee and donuts over a medium rare T-bone. ~ J.R. Ward

A new study found that Americans are exercising more than ever but still not losing much weight. Not good in fact, it's all I could think about on my jog to Dunkin' Donuts. ~ Jimmy Fallon

I've had the immense pleasure of knowing Thaddeus for over 4 years now. In that time I have experienced his incredible powers of observation, his wisdom, and his wonderful sense of humor. Yet he is quick to remind me that he is a dragon and therefore is prone to look at things differently. Oh, and his appetite for ...300+ Krispy Kreme donuts every morning can be a bit trying at times. ~ Derek Hart

You said it wasn't fair. Over and over again you kept saying that. You said, There are so many kids that want to die. She's probably the one that wanted to live the most. I thought, no, I want to live as much as she did. But only if... and then I realized how much it sucked for me to think that. Think about myself like that, complain. I was here and I could go dancing and sweat all night and eat donuts and go roller-skating and take bubble baths and grow up. I had you. Right there with me. I had you living in my life and I was alive. ~ Francesca Lia Block

What Do Women Want?"

I want a red dress.
I want it flimsy and cheap,
I want it too tight, I want to wear it
until someone tears it off me.
I want it sleeveless and backless,
this dress, so no one has to guess
what's underneath. I want to walk down
the street past Thrifty's and the hardware store
with all those keys glittering in the window,
past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old
donuts in their café, past the Guerra brothers
slinging pigs from the truck and onto the dolly,
hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.
I want to walk like I'm the only
woman on earth and I can have my pick.
I want that red dress bad.
I want it to confirm
your worst fears about me,
to show you how little I care about you
or anything except what
I want. When I find it, I'll pull that garment
from its hanger like I'm choosing a body
to carry me into this world, through
the birth-cries and the love-cries too,
and I'll wear it like bones, like skin,
it'll be the goddamned
dress they bury me in. ~ Kim Addonizio

Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ... There'll be an entrance here ... a deranged lunatic here. ~ Jim Gaffigan

Are you busy?" I ask.

"I'm working on a paper. Recall? The phone conversation we had fifteen minutes ago?"

I glance up at a clock in the hall, and then back at his smart-ass mouth.

"It was twenty minutes ago."

"I need coffee," he says, and why is he being such an adorable dick, still smiling at me like that? "Want to walk up to Dunkin' Donuts?"

"What about Millie?" I say.

"What about her?"

"Does she want any?"

"Should we call her and ask?"

"Isn't she upstairs?"

"How hard did you hit your head last night? ~ Mercy Brown

We are overeducated pharmacy clerks (with doctorate degrees) answering the phone, running the cash register, ringing up donuts and dish soap while juggling 10 or more drug related issues per minute with our one technician yelling Override! ~ Dennis Miller

I will look for powdered donuts in the wilderness. He headed outside and started ~ Rick Riordan

All the donuts have names that sound like prostitutes ~ Tom Waits

Fried mac 'n' cheese balls. Does that sound appetizing?"

"Fried … mac and cheese … balls?"

Ezra dared to look away long enough to smirk at Aaron. "Don't you know everything is better in ball form? Cheese, meat, donuts, snow … pasta."

"Real comprehensive list there, Ezra. ~ Annette Marie

Our first job in life is to recognize the gifts we've already got, take the donuts that show up while we cultivate and use those gifts, and then turn around and share those gifts - sometimes in the form of money, sometimes time, sometimes love - back into the puzzle of the world. Our second job is to accept where we are in the puzzle at each moment. ~ Amanda Palmer

I'm not losing any sleep over Dunkin Donuts. ~ Howard Schultz

Eating a lot is an occupational hazard but it's a pretty great problem to have. I spend a lot of time eating sweets on TV - cake, cupcakes, donuts, and pudding. It's a dream job, but at the same time there will be days where I wake up knowing I will eat 15 desserts! ~ Gail Simmons

If you're talking about how you promoted synergy in an organization, that could mean you just got everybody together for donuts twice a week. ~ Erin McKean

This is a donut. It is very sweet, and very good. But if you've never tasted a donut, you wouldn't really know how sweet and how good a donut is ... meditation is like that. Transcendental Meditation gives an experience much sweeter than the sweetness of this donut. ~ David Lynch

We became enthralled with the view that wealth trickled down from the top and that if you poured money into rich people, sort of like an ingredient, prosperity and jobs would squirt out of them like donuts. And if you understand economies in the 19th-century way, that view is plausible, and I think a lot of people accepted it. ~ Nick Hanauer

Long. Not interesting. Coffee?" "No thanks. I'm trying to cut back." "I thought coffee was a prerequisite for being a cop." "That's donuts. What do lawyers eat?" "Each other. ~ Robert Dugoni

Olive's private view is that life depends on what she thinks of as "big bursts" and "little bursts." Big bursts are things like marriage or children, intimacies that keep you afloat, but these big bursts hold dangerous, unseen currents. Which is why you need the little bursts as well: a friendly clerk at Bradlee's, let's say, or the waitress at Dunkin' Donuts who knows how you like your coffee. Tricky business, really. ~ Elizabeth Strout

We sat on the floor eating donuts, completely dazed and hung over. I looked up at the window every so often to gaze at the Christmas lights. They were so beautiful. They blinked on and off in what should have been the early night dark but was really the early morning dark. ~ Chrissi Sepe

Much of my youth was spent in the parking lot or inside a Dunkin' Donuts. ~ Eli Roth

Fresh popcorn is near impossible to resist, second only to fresh doughnuts. ~ Shannon Wiersbitzky

In 7.81 square miles of vaunted black community, the 850 square feet of Dum Dum Donuts was the only place in the "community" where one could experience the Latin root of the word, where a citizen could revel in common togetherness. So one rainy Sunday afternoon, not long after the tanks and media attention had left, my father ordered his usual. He sat at the table nearest the ATM and said aloud, to no one in particular, "Do you know that the average household net worth for whites is $113,149 per year, Hispanics $6,325, and black folks $5,677?"

"For real?"

"What's your source material, nigger?"

"The Pew Research Center."

Motherfuckers from Harvard to Harlem respect the Pew Research Center, and hearing this, the concerned patrons turned around in their squeaky plastic seats as best they could, given that donut shop swivel chairs swivel only six degrees in either direction. Pops politely asked the manager to dim the lights. I switched on the overhead projector, slid a transparency over the glass, and together we craned our necks toward the ceiling, where a bar graph titled "Income Disparity as Determined by Race" hovered overhead like some dark, damning, statistical cumulonimbus cloud threatening to rain on our collective parades.

"I was wondering what that li'l nigger was doing in a donut shop with a damn overhead projector. ~ Paul Beatty

You can't just take an aspirin and sit around and have 12 donuts and think, 'I took my aspirin so I'm not going to have a heart attack.' It's really important each person take personal responsibility for their health. You can't keep thinking that someone else is going to take care of it. You have to be part of the solution. ~ Corbin Bernsen

This upscale Marin whorehouse allowed the men to come and pick from the lineup of women like we were donuts in a pastry case. ~ Michelle Tea

I love just going out; long drives, the ocean, my kids, new music, new gear, new plug-ins, coffee, and donuts at four in the morning. Even just waking up and writing. ~ John Feldmann

I guess no true Bostonian would trust a place that was sunny and pleasant all the time. But a gritty, perpetually cold and gloomy neighborhood? Throw in a couple of Dunkin' Donuts locations, and I'm right at home. ~ Rick Riordan

She was carrying two coffees and a donut bag,
and right then and there, he fell in love.
-Animal Magnetism ~ Jill Shalvis

Why did the warrior cross the road? [Koldo]
That's easy. To kill the guy on the other side. [Nicola]
A bud of amusement had her smiling.
Knock, knock. [Koldo]
Who's there? [Nicola]
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut run from me, puny girl. ~ Gena Showalter

Repeat mantra: Donuts are not vitamins, donuts are not ... ~ William Howard Taft