Is It Bill Bailey Quotes

A lot of people say there's a fine line between genius and insanity. I don't think there's a fine line, I actually think there's a yawning gulf. You see some poor bugger scuffling up the road with balloons tied to his ears, he's not going home to invent a rocket, is he? ~ Bill Bailey

Our philosophy is we call it as we see it. Sometimes you agree, sometimes you don't. Robust debate is good. ~ Bill O'Reilly

Dunce is completely bald and has a really pointed head so the temptation to get him paralytic on his thirtieth birthday, carry him to the tattooist's and get a nice big 'D' smack bang in the middle of his forehead was too much for me. Trouble is he can't afford to have it removed so he wears a big plaster over it. Gangs of children tease him.

'What's underneath the plaster, mister? Show us!'

They swear he has a third eye under there.

My name is Bill but Dunce calls me 'Fez' on account of my hat. I've known Dunce for over sixteen years. ~ Mike Russell

Bill Clinton, who, to his credit, has established a clear and consistent foreign policy, which is as follows: Whenever the president of the United States gets anywhere near any foreign head of state, living or dead, he gives that leader a big old hug. This has proven to be an effective way to get foreign leaders to do what we want: Many heads of state are willing to sign any random document that President Clinton thrusts in front of them, without reading it, just so he will stop embracing them. ~ Dave Barry

The potential financial reward for building the 'next Windows' is so great that there will never be a shortage of new technologies seeking to challenge it. ~ Bill Gates

How stupid of me not to have thought of it! T. H. Huxley cried upon reading On the Origin of Species. It is a view that has been echoed ever since. Interestingly, ~ Bill Bryson

Soon after I'd had my son I really wasn't planning on going back to work for a while. I will walk over hot coals to work with Bill Condon on anything, the experience that you have with him is just too good.I've certainly never worked with him before so the trio of Bill [Codon], Ian [ McKellen], and Sherlock Holmes, and England: it was too much to say "no" to. ~ Laura Linney

Our flame is taking the normal depleted uranium - the 99.3 percent that's cheap as heck, and there's a pile of it sitting in Paducah, Kentucky that's enough to power the United States for hundreds and hundreds of years. You're taking that and you are converting it to plutonium (humorously under his breath) - and then you're burning that. ~ Bill Gates

I think we do sympathize. And a lot of us think a lot of what Snowden did was great, and you're abetting him. But, we also think, well, if we are going to have someone who is going to be the one to take secret materials and disseminate it ... why you? You weren't elected to that post. That seems to be what the question always comes down to. ~ Bill Maher

Science is the key to our future, and if you don't believe in science, then you're holding everybody back. And it's fine if you as an adult want to run around pretending or claiming that you don't believe in evolution, but if we educate a generation of people who don't believe in science, that's a recipe for disaster. We talk about the Internet. That comes from science. Weather forecasting. That comes from science. The main idea in all of biology is evolution. To not teach it to our young people is wrong. ~ Bill Nye

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, Got stuck, huh? The truck driver says, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas. ~ Bill Engvall

When our memories outweigh our dreams, it is then that we become old. ~ Bill Clinton

In 1927 she became, and would forevermore remain, the "It Girl." "It" was first a two-part article and then a novel by a flame-haired English novelist named Elinor Glyn, who was known for writing juicy romances in which the main characters did a lot of undulating ("she undulated round and all over him, twined about him like a serpent") and for being the mistress for some years of Lord Curzon, former viceroy of India. "It," as Glyn explained, "is that quality possessed by some few persons which draws all others with its magnetic life force. With it you win all men if you are a woman - and all women if you are a man. ~ Bill Bryson

Is there anything, apart from a really good chocolate cream pie and receiving a large unexpected cheque in the post, to beat finding yourself at large in a foreign city on a fair spring evening, loafing along unfamiliar streets in the long shadows of a lazy sunset, pausing to gaze in shop windows or at some church or lovely square or tranquil stretch of quayside, hesitating at street corners to decide whether that cheerful and homy restaurant you will remember fondly for years is likely to lie down this street or that one? I just love it. I could spend my life arriving each evening in a new city. ~ Bill Bryson

The one word that Newfoundland has given the world is penguin. No one has any idea what inspired it. ~ Bill Bryson

Perhaps only that revenge is ultimately unsatisfying. It cant make up for the evil done to you, but it can destroy the remaining good in your life. ~ Bill Willingham

Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am? ~ Bill Watterson

Pluto is about 40 AUs from us, the heart of the Oort cloud about fifty thousand. In a word, it is remote. But ~ Bill Bryson

I have to admit that business-type thoughts do sneak into my head: I hope our customers pay us, I hope this stuff is decent, I hope we get it done on time. The little additions and subtractions that one has to do. Take sales, take costs and try to get that big positive number at the bottom. ~ Bill Gates

We are New Yorkers. Proud citizens of the greatest city on earth. Thinking big isn't new to us. It is the very foundation of who we are. ~ Bill De Blasio

To my mind, the greatest reward and luxury of travel is to be able to experience everyday things as if for the first time, to be in a position in which almost nothing is so familiar it is taken for granted. ~ Bill Bryson

If you're a creationist reading this, and you want to remark something like, "Well, that's the way he did it," I'll tell you right back, that is just not reasonable, nor is it satisfactory. If we were playing on a team right now, I'd say, "Get your head in the game. ~ Bill Nye

The Cuban Liberty and Democratic Solidarity or Libertad Act of 1996, better known as the Helms-Burton Act, was passed by the 104th United States Congress on March 6, 1996 and enacted into law by President Bill Clinton on March 12, 1996. Its intention was to bolster and continue the United States embargo against Cuba. It also opposes Cuban membership in international institutions, and prohibits commercial television broadcasts from the United States to Cuba. Further, the law provides for protection of the property rights of certain United States nationals and the property formerly owned by U.S. citizens but confiscated by Cuba after the Cuban revolution, The Act is named for the original sponsors, Senator Jesse Helms of North Carolina, and Representative Dan Burton of Indiana. ~ Hank Bracker

They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet. ~ Bill Hicks

the books tell you that if the grizzly comes for you, on no account should you run. This is the sort of advice you get from someone who is sitting at a keyboard when he gives it. Take it from me, if you are in an open space with no weapons and a grizzly comes for you, run. You may as well. If nothing else, it will give you something to do with the last seven seconds of your life. However, when the grizzly overtakes ~ Bill Bryson

I think the only reason I've had the career life that I've had is that someone told me some secrets early on about living. You can do the very best you can when you're very, very relaxed, no matter what it is or what your job is, the more relaxed you are the better you are. That's sort of why I got into acting. I realized the more fun I had, the better I did it. And I thought, that's a job I could be proud of. It's changed my life learning that, and it's made me better at what I do. ~ Bill Murray

I think it go serious in college when I found out I really enjoyed making people laugh. It makes me happy. I said, I wanna be a comedian, I wanna get good.' You're not good in the beginning. You're still trying to figure out what the things are that you are going to talk about, what your angle is going to be and there's a lot of trial and error. I just never gave up and that was the beginning of my career. Just experimenting, trying it out and falling in love with it. ~ Bill Bellamy

The fundamental thing about sketching is that it isabout asking not telling ~ Bill Buxton

What I think is a really special movie is 'Black and White' with Kevin Costner and Octavia Spencer, which Mike Binder directed. I got to see a screening of it, and I think Kevin and Octavia and Anthony Mackie and Bill Burr all give such beautiful performances in that movie. ~ Gillian Jacobs

Actually, tolerance and acceptance are different. To tolerate seems to mean that there is something negative to tolerate, doesn't it? ~ Bill Konigsberg

It is not a surprise that a person would want to be a prophet. What's ridiculous is that other people let him. ~ Bill Maher

If I deny the authority of the State when it presents my tax bill, it will soon take and waste all my property, and so harass me and my children without end. This is hard, this makes it impossible for a man to live honestly, and at the same time comfortably, in outward respects. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Left to my own vices, all I would own is a Corvette, and it would be broken down. ~ Bill Engvall

If you want something bad enough, take the steps needed to make it happen, no matter how long it takes. Sometimes you get lucky and can skip some steps, but most of the time you can't. The secret to achieving any goal is nothing more than putting in the necessary time and effort. ~ Bill Loguidice

Ali. You're a great guy," I attempt to reason. "You're good-looking, sorted. A cool job, a great house. I know you have some regrets with your wife. But, you'll find a good man soon, someone who loves you. I know it." Someone who deserves to be with Ali. Jaysus. I sound like a bloody agony aunt albeit not a very eloquent one. He struggles to smile. "Is that your way of letting me down gently?" Fuck, the stupid fuck. "No, I don't get to let you down. You understand? You book me, I'll come, but I am not what you want long term." I don't even mind losing a client. I have enough regulars now. It bothers me to think I won't get to spend time with him every week but what the fuck is someone like Ali doing with me? We finish our drinks in silence, an awkwardness growing between us. He gets the bill. When we are in the car, he gives me two hundred pounds. "I think I'll drive you home." His voice is low and uncertain. Fine. I direct him to a few doors down from my bedsit near the Arsenal football ground in North London. I am not prepared to reveal where I live, not even to Ali. He kisses me softly on the lips. With unshed tears in his eyes once again, he gazes at me, and touches my hair. "Thank you for everything, Liam. Goodbye ~ A. Zukowski

One of the most ridiculous defenses of foreign aid is that it is a very small part of our national income. If the average American set fire to a five-dollar bill, it would be an even smaller percentage of his annual income. But everyone would consider him foolish for doing it. ~ Thomas Sowell

Debt is a drag, a reality you may experience with every credit-card bill you open. But for a corporation or a government, it can be even more of a drag - on economic growth and job creation. ~ Mark McKinnon

I cannot live in mediocrity, content with merely knowing that there is more of God to experience and explore -and then do nothing about it. Truths that are not experienced are, in effect, more like theories than truths. Whenever God reveals truth to us He is inviting us into a divine encounter. ~ Bill Johnson

I have to say that in 1981, making those decisions, I felt like I was providing enough freedom for 10 years. That is, a move from 64k to 640k felt like something that would last a great deal of time. Well, it didn't. It took about only 6 years before people started to see that as a real problem. ~ Bill Gates