Humor Color Quotes

My comedy has no color, it's for everybody, black, white, Latino, Asian. It's not a pro-black show, not a def jam show; it's just straight, wholesome type of humor. ~ Bruce Bruce

If you're that hypersensitive about color and don't have a sense of humor, don't marry out of your race. ~ Laura Schlessinger

I can read in red.
I can read in blue.
I can read in pickle color too. ~ Dr. Seuss

yet that one thing - the color of their skin - would, in the real world, change everything. Sarai ~ Laini Taylor

"I can't believe you recently had a baby. How do you do it?" The baby starts to come down ... and once that happens you can't-it comes out. Whether you let it or not, the baby comes out. So that's how I did it. ~ Tina Fey

At least you know about Jean-Luc and Heather, don't you."
"Nay. I was shuffled off to a remote island for four months. I believe that's what mortals do with their unwanted Christmas fruitcakes. ~ Lynsay Sands

Once I had her clean, I wrapped her in a towel and carried her back to the bed. A small red bloodstain was on the sheets, and again the possessive monster inside me threw back his head and roared his pleasure. I stood there holding her and letting the proof I was the only man to be inside her wash over me.
Blythe turned her head, and I felt her stiffen in my arms. "Oh, I can clean that up," she said, starting to wiggle.
I pulled her tighter to my chest. "No. I'm going to dry you off and hold you some more. I like seeing that blood. I did that," The pleasure in my voice made Blythe smile. ~ Abbi Glines

A recent survey or North American males found 42% were overweight, 34% were critically obese and 8% ate the survey. ~ Banksy

I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host. ~ Dorothy Parker

French wines may be said but to pickle meat in the stomach, but this is the wine that digests, and doth not only breed good blood, but it nutrifieth also, being a glutinous substantial liquor; of this wine, if of any other, may be verified that merry induction: That good wine makes good blood, good blood causeth good humors, good humors cause good thoughts, good thoughts bring forth good works, good works carry a man to heaven, ergo, good wine carrieth a man to heaven. ~ James Howell

You always need right moves, wheather it's life or romance.. ~ BHARAT SHARMA

My Gullah grandfather is bringing a bag of dust to a vampire war. I feel better. ~ Elle Jasper

You're sure he's not a vampire?' Claire said.'I've seen movies. They're sneaky.' She was kidding. Eve didn't smile. ~ Rachel Caine

Miss Rudy, the former Harmony librarian, had single-handedly held off a siege of the town council bent on cutting her funds. She had locked the library doors and hid the only key in her bra, living on water from the toilet tank after the town had shut off water to the building to drive her out. She ate paste to keep up her strength. Oh, they had underestimated her. On the fourth day, the men of the council had capitulated, apologizing for cutting the funds, begging her to open the doors and come out. But she had stayed in the library an extra day, just to show them one could live on books, then marched out at noon on the fifth day, her head held high, and three pounds heavier. She had gained weight! When word got out, her picture made the cover of American Libraries magazine. Admiring letters poured in from librarians around the world – beaten down, beleaguered librarians who had drawn strength from her bravery. She answered each one in flowing, Palmer-method, handwritten script. ~ Philip Gulley

The opportunities available to actors who achieved the peak of their fame as nameless characters in 1990s softcore horror porn films must be limited. ~ Kristen Roupenian

My parents and I always put great emphasis on telling stories that appeal to a child's sense of humor. ~ Mike Berenstain

Most human subjugates are young," said Will. "Vampires like to acquire their subjugates when they're youthful - prettier to look at, and less chance of diseased blood. And they'll live a bit longer, though not much." He looked pleased with himself. "Most of the rest of the Enclave wouldn't be able to pass convincingly as a handsome young human subjugate - "
"Because the rest of us all are hideous, are we?" Jem inquired, looking amused. ~ Cassandra Clare

Ann Boleyn...a Renaissance Audrey Hepburn in a little black dress. ~ JoAnn Spears

If you have one friend in the end, it better be yourself. ~ Benjamin Aubrey Myers

Off with their heads!" the woman screamed. "Off with their stinking, boring heads!""
Redd, The Looking Class Wars ~ Frank Beddor

She was an expert at conflating canned advice with any excuse for drinking to oblivion. ~ Ottessa Moshfegh

I pride myself on being able to read whole chapters into a single syllable, you know? What girl doesn't? So when Lennon said "Hi", I ran through a whole list of possibilities. Was it, "Hi, I wish you were Chloe instead of Riley so I could make up with you"? Or did he mean, "You look exactly like the girl I'm totally over, so get out of my sight"? Or was it just, "Hi, I hope you're not as down on me as your sister is and, by the way, could you be careful not to spill anything, either"? But none of those sounded right. Finally I had to admit that he might have just been trying to say hello. Call me crazy, but it could be true! ~ Megan Stine

The tears coursed down her cheeks - not freely, however, for when they came into contact with her heavily beaded eyelashes they assumed an inky color, and pursued the rest of their way in slow black rivulets. A humorous suggestion was made that she sing the notes on her face whereupon she threw up her hands, sank into a chair and went off into a deep vinous sleep. ~ F Scott Fitzgerald

Nothing's a better cure for writer's block than to eat ice cream right out of the carton. ~ Don Roff

Mrs. Francis, may I introduce the Scourge of the Skies, the Terror of Dairy Farmers, the Lord of Lactose, Master of the Cheese Pirates of Snow Monkey Island, Captain Cheesebeard. ~ Sean Cullen

At the same time that I'm finding the color world I want, I'm also trying to make the imagery, you know, by the nature of the strokes themselves. ~ Chuck Close

I heard her family might be moving to Anchorage.
Seriously? I would die if I had to move there.
I don't know, with all the UV rays here, it seems like Anchorage might actually provide a longer life span. You don't need as much sunblock, so it's a more economical choice as well. ~ Richelle Mead

First rule of a good shrink is probably to pay attention to the whining. ~ Gayle Friesen

I was taught of a courageous love--of people who could love those who hated them, despised them, and cursed them. A heroic love that leapt lines of segregation, compassion that tore down walls, a determined empathy that saw value in every child regardless of race, geography, or circumstance. An activist love that ignited a nation's moral imagination and galvanized a collective will. Heroes of every faith, color, and sexual orientation, who left behind the comfort of anonymity and marched knowing they would be beaten, boarded buses knowing they would be burned--we are a product of their love. A love that asserted the fundamental idea that we are in this together, bound by destiny, that what happens to my American brother or sister affects me, that our connection mandates an obligation. I was taught of a courageous love. ~ Cory Booker

I'm a great admirer of Primo Levi's work. It's always mind-boggling, the idea of how much pain people can endure and still come back from the edge with a sense of humor, with this tremendous animal desire we have to get on with life. ~ Allan Gurganus

Never judge someone until you've walked a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do judge him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes. ~ Emo Philips

Jedediah pulled out his pocketknife, reached over her, and snipped the rose to place in her hair. "Looks better there." In the moonlight, he wasn't sure if she blushed or not. Her eyes seemed all soft and glowing, her lips the color of the pink rose, slightly parted and tempting him. Before he knew what he was doing, his arms had circled her in a swift embrace. Heat filled his face, and his heart pounded so hard he was sure Patience could hear it. Would she let him kiss her? But she was already pulling away, visibly shaken. Her fingers touched her hair, patting it into place, and her eyes, large with surprise, looked into his, then quickly away. "I . . . Jed . . . I think we'd better go back inside and join the party." "I'm - I'm truly sorry, Patience. I don't know . . . I'm not sure what came over me just now. It must be the moonlight and the roses." And you, he said only to himself. ~ Maggie Brendan

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look. ~ Woody Allen

Biological clock? I don't even own a watch. ~ Sarah Mlynowski

Our prejudices :;we all have them are part of our personality structure. The problem is that our prejudices may lie lurking at the bottom of the subterranean mind where the slowly ooze up and color our thinking without our knowing it. ~ Gerry Spence

You can't have everything. Where would you put it? ~ Steve Wright

Cottage cheese, broken down into its simplest form, is milk that has been curdled to mimic the cellulite its consumption is meant to banish. ~ Elsie Love