Gullible Girlfriend Quotes

My neighbor complains every time my girlfriend and I have sex. We're not even that loud. But he used to date my girlfriend. ~ Anthony Jeselnik

Here is how you meet women: You tell the girls you are friends with - the ones in relationships - that you want a girlfriend. You shouldn't even have to say 'Set me up' or 'Introduce me!' If they're good girls, they'll get the hint. ~ Julie Klausner

Isaac, tell your girlfriend she can't bring weapons into holy-shit-your-spider's-on-fire! ~ Jim C. Hines

I think people are more apt to believe photographs, especially if it's something fantastic. They're willing to be more gullible. Sometimes they want fantasy. ~ Cindy Sherman

I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend I do. I just stand in my apartment screaming No, that's not what I said! ~ Dave Attell

Don't you have a girlfriend also?" Erin said. "Girls, doesn't Rupert P. have a girlfriend?"
"Michelle Hornsbury," Apple said. "She's quote-unquote nineteen, a quote-unquote university student, a quote-unquote model-"
"Don't forget beard," Erin interjected. "She is also a very dedicated beard. ~ Goldy Moldavsky

When I was in junior high, I used to think I would turn out to be one of the guys, and boys would say, 'Oh, you're so great,' but they wouldn't date me. I thought I wasn't pretty enough. But then I got to Ault and first of all, I'm not really friends with any guys. And then, with you this year, I thought, if Cross will keep hooking up with me, maybe I'm okay after all. But time passed and I never became your girlfriend. And so then I thought, not only was I wrong, but my life turned out to be the opposite of what I expected. Meaning, it wasn't my appearance--that's not the bad thing about me. It's my personality. But how do I know which part? I have no idea. I've tried to think about if it's one thing in isolation or everything together, or what can I do to fix it, or how can I convince you. Then I thought, maybe it is my looks, maybe I was right before. And I never figured it out. Obviously, I didn't. But I've spent a lot of time this year trying. And the reason I'm telling you all this is that I want you to know no one in my life has ever made me feel worse about myself than you. ~ Curtis Sittenfeld

It just gets frustrating playing the girlfriend, It's just this awful feeling, sitting in your house, waiting for a script to come. I like to be more proactive. ~ Joey Lauren Adams

I have a lot of girlfriends, but there's something that's so easy for me about hanging out with guys. It's fun, because I feel like they accept me right back, which is really nice. ~ Rashida Jones

He stops and turns to me. "Do you think people would stare if I threw you over my shoulder? Because I really want to do that. Then I can ogle your ass and just run."
The look in his eye is a little manic. For a second, I think he's going to do it. Then he spies the heavily armed security officer a few feet away.
"Excuse me, sir?" he says, and the guard looks at him. "Would it be acceptable to carry my girlfriend like a sack of potatoes in order to get out of here quicker and make sweet love to her?"
The guard's mouth moves, but he resists smiling. "No, sir, that would not be acceptable."
"Piggyback?"
"Nope."
"Put her on a trolley?"
"No."
"You're no fun."
"So my wife keeps telling me. ~ Leisa Rayven

Fourth, Tobias is a POLITICIAN?!?!?!? Four, the dauntless legend is a politician. Lame. Lastly, that's it? Tris dies, Tobias doesn't get a girlfriend, get married, anything like that, he lives with his mother. Yay!!!!! ~ Amazon Reviewer

If a relationship lasts longer than 7 years, you are no longer girlfriend-boyfriend. You are family. ~ Atul Purohit

When I hold something that's radioactive, it's kind of an indescribable feeling. It's kind of like when I'm with my girlfriend. ~ Taylor Wilson

I don't like vampire movies or zombie movies. I went to see 'I Am Legend' with an ex-girlfriend the other day, and I immediately realised it was a zombie movie! You know what I mean? There are certain rules, and those rules are things that you've seen many times. ~ Michel Gondry

This is new to us, you know? Your mother's sorry. She's sorry that she hurt your feelings, and she wants you to invite your girlfriend over for dinner."
"So that she can make her feel bad and weird?"
"Well she is kind of weird, isn't she?"
Park didn't have the energy to be angry. He sighed and let his head fall back on the chair.
His dad kept talking. "Isn't that why you like her? ~ Rainbow Rowell

I wasn't ready to replay that bit of disaster - the moment when I decided to be Simon Zagan's girlfriend. Not the best choice I've ever made. ~ Susan Kaye Quinn

We walked the circuit, passing the food stands frying funnel cakes and burgers, and the game booths, ceilings bristling with giant, multicolored stuffed animals. I paused in front of the crossbow game.
Nicholas cocked an eyebrow. "Want me to win you a stuffed bunny?"
"Ha." I rubbed my hands together. "I'll win my own stuffed bunny, thanks very much."
Nicholas passed the attendant a few dollars to pay for my turn. "I guess it's nice to see you use your legendary aim for something other than breaking my nose," he teased.
"The night is young," I snapped back, lifting the plastic crossbow. "This is a pathetic weapon," I muttered. "I couldn't stake an undead mouse with this thing."
"It's supposed to be a game, remember?" he whispered, laughter in his dark voice.
I fired my three shots, all crowding into the bull's-eye. With a triumphantly smug toss of my head, I looked at the openmouthed attendant. "I want the purple bunny."
He tugged it down and passed it over to me. I slipped it into my bag while Nicholas shook his head.
"Dump this loser, Lucy, and run away with me. You'll never have to win your own cross-eyed bunny again."
I grinned up at Nicholas's brother Quinn, who was smiling his charming smile, his arm draping casually over my shoulder. Hunter rolled her eyes at me from my other side.
"No way," I said. "My aim's better than yours. Plus, your girlfriend can hurt me."
"Ooh," Quinn said, winking. "Catfight. Hot." He grinn ~ Alyxandra Harvey

I see myself being married to my girlfriend and backpacking all over the world. If I can go out and do a 15-mile hike and climb a 12,000-ft. peak, I'm good to go. ~ Matt Long

Dash is for sure straight!" Boomer announced. "He has a super-pretty ex-girlfriend named Sofia, who I think he still has a thing for, and also, in seventh grade, there was a game of spin the bottle and it was my turn and I spun and it landed at Dash, but he wouldn't let me kiss him. ~ David Levithan

You Americans are so gullible. No, you won't accept communism outright, but we'll keep feeding you small doses of socialism until you'll finally wake up and find you already have communism. We won't have to fight you. We'll so weaken your economy until you'll fall like overripe fruit into our hands. ~ Nikita Khrushchev

I e-mail or phone my best girlfriend daily. Having people who know you well helps you stay grounded and gives perspective to whatever momentary drama you're going through. ~ Soledad O'Brien

Good game," someone said, patting my shoulder.
"Thanks," I said, laughing.
Then I felt arms come around me and pull me close.
"Hey," Jason said, kissing my neck before parking his chin on my shoulder.
Smiling brightly, I turned around in his arms. "Great game."
"Thanks."
"You hit a home run," I said, like maybe he hadn't realized it.
"I know it seems odd, considering how long I've played baseball, but I've never hit one before," he said. "But I knew, I knew as soon as I felt the bat make contact with the ball, that it was going to go out of the park. I don't know if it sounded different or felt different, but I just knew."
"You did look stunned out there."
"I was. Like I said, I'd never done that before. I mean, hitting has never been my strength."
"It was tonight." I reached up and kissed his chin.
"I need to figure out what it was I did that made me hit the home run."
"You connected the bat to the ball."
"No, it was more than that. Something I did before the game, maybe--"
"No, no, no," I said, lifting myself up onto my toes so I could look directly into his eyes. "There was no thing you did other than keeping your eye on the ball and hitting at the precise moment when the impact would send the ball over the fence."
"I'm not so sure."
"Okay, you want to know what it was? It was having me for a girlfriend--"
He put his hand behind my head and kissed me to shut me up. Obviously, he didn't thi ~ Rachel Hawthorne

It seems to me that although they have a respectable sales pitch, this business of a priest having the power to let bygones be bygones and grant us absolution from our scandals is all just one gigantic scam to con loads of money off a haunted and gullible public. ~ Karl Wiggins

I had a dream about you. You was a crocodile and i was always looking for you with fear. Your teeth were alabaster and your skin green as grass. Unfortunate you had already a girlfriend. And i hoped she finish like a handbag. I love you from my all reptile heart, which is poikilothermic. ~ Kattie Belgar

I like playing sport. I'm a bit of a design enthusiast, and like spending time with my girlfriend and mates. ~ Nick D'Aloisio

I realized I was ignoring my girlfriend. I couldn't remember, was it two in the pink and one in the stink? Three in the pink and two in the stink? How many went in the stink?" ~ Jeff strand ~ Jeff Strand

Actors are always weird about acting with their spouse or their boyfriend or girlfriend, but more because they think audiences will find it boring. ~ Rosemarie DeWitt

Didn't you," he asked, "have me
exorcised?"
"Me?" My own voice rocketed up about ten octaves. "Me? Jesse, of course not. I would never do that. I mean, you know I would never do something like that. That kid Jack did it. Your girlfriend Maria made him do it. She was trying to get rid of you. She told Jack you were bothering me, and he didn't know any better, so he exorcised you, and then Felix Diego threw me off the porch roof, and Jesse, they found your body, I mean your bones, and I saw them and I threw up all over the side of the house, and Spike really misses you and I was just thinking, you know, if you wanted to come back, you could, because that's why I've got this rope, so we can find our way back. ~ Meg Cabot

My song is ya girlfriend's wakin up ringer ... or alarm or whateva. She'll be here at 6 in the morn if I let her ~ Drake

I always think that the people who have the hardest time in the spotlight are the people who have unearned fame, like the girlfriends of people who are famous or people who become figures of attention, not through their own merit. ~ Rosamund Pike

The only thing that can be expected from the next US president is more war, more murder, and more oppression of the gullible American people. People as uninformed and as gullible as Americans have no future. Americans are a dead people that history is about to run over. ~ Paul Craig Roberts

Are we seriously reading a book together?" I asked in disbelief. "Yep. I need to see what all the fuss is about with these so-called book boyfriends you have. You never know, I might find myself a book girlfriend if I'm lucky." He winked and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. ~ Rachel Brookes

I'd always walk my girlfriend home, i'm too protective! ~ Niall Horan

I am extremely gullible when I lie to myself. ~ Michael Ian Black

Whether it is the wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, family or friends, so often those closest to us are the ones who get the worst of us. It is as if we feel that they are the only ones we can be grumpy with, and we save our best for our guests or for work. But this is a recipe for struggle. The smart man and woman save the best for those they love. If we show our loved ones the most gratitude every day, then life will smile on us in return. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude: three words to help you thrive. Trust me. ~ Bear Grylls

A lot of times people will send me stuff. They will find something and they will send it to me and then I will take a look at it. Every once in awhile I will go on IMDB for 10 or 15 minutes and look around. But I am not a huge gearhead. I don't even have my own computer. I use my girlfriends. ~ Michael Shannon

None of us has a girlfriend. But being in a band, you meet people everywhere you go. I know mine will turn up one day. ~ Isaac Hanson

When you had the World Trade Center go, people were put into planes that were friends, family, girlfriends, and they were put into planes and they were sent back, for the most part, to Saudi Arabia. I would be very, very firm with families. Frankly, that will make people think because they may not care much about their lives, but they do care, believe it or not, about their families' lives. ~ Donald Trump

Sometimes I pretend not to look at my own characters, because that's like different people getting off with your girlfriend or something. ~ Grant Morrison

Do you ever think anything you don't say? ~ Bart Simpson's Girlfriend

Girlfriend number seventeen," Asher replied. "Before Sophie and after Sarah."
"You'd had seventeen girlfriends by the time you were fourteen?" I asked.
"The ladies, he replied with a shrug. They love me. It's because I'm so charming."
"You're balancing on one leg on the roof of a chapel. You're not charming. You're an idiot. ~ Jennifer Lynn Barnes

My Latin girlfriend sees me read, snigger, read on intensily and said "you look like someone who is attacked by a butterfly "" mails one of the first recipients of the complete Wold, Wold, Wold! book. It's a guy i know who lives in South America. I think it's one of the best descriptions I have ever seen about what i really want to accomplish: to write books that attack one like a giant butterfly. ~ Martijn Benders

Even then, when the hike was perfect, I would wonder, 'Now what?' And take a picture. Take another picture. Like a man with a photogenic girlfriend he didn't love. ~ Jonathan Franzen

Time for some laughs with girlfriend Chelsea Handler and her adventures. ~ Chelsea Handler