Glynners Pub Quotes

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. ~ Peter Kay

I like to think that at the end of a show, you can just take your costume off and go to the pub. ~ Max Irons

Paris is a woman but London is an independent man puffing his pipe in a pub. ~ Jack Kerouac

I've kept a tally of the alcohol Ellie's consumed - three martinis at the dinner reception and four whiskeys neat at the pub. She downs a fifth one like water.

"You're a Viking!" Henry encourages her.

"Vikings!!!" Ellie shouts.

When the Prince calls the bartender for another, I push my way through the crowd to Henry.

"She's had enough," I tell him quietly.

"She's fine." He waves his hand at the air.

"She's just a girl," I insist.

Ellie takes exception, poking my arm with her finger and slurring. "Hey! I resent that. I'm a matter adult. Mattur. Ma-ture." She tilts her head, gasping. "Oh my God, I just realized that except for one letter, mature and manure are the same word! That's so weird."

I turn back to Prince Henry. "Like I said . . . more than enough."

He leans across the bar towards Ellie, holding up two fingers. "Ellie, how many fingers do you see?"

Ellie squints and strains, until finally she grabs Henry's hand and holds it still.

"Four."

"Brilliant answer!"

"Was I right?" Ellie asks hopefully.

"No - if you'd gotten it right, I'd be really concerned." Then he bangs the bar with his palm. "Another round!"

That's when Ellie slides clear off her stool. I catch her before she hits the floor, but just barely. And then I glare at Henry.

"Mmm . . . perhaps we have reached our quota for the evening." He ~ Emma Chase

I was just burnt out. I didn't like the music business and I didn't like me. There's an element of falseness about the whole thing. Even things like doing an interview. It's not as though we just met in the pub and are having a chat - it's part of a process. If you do it all day, every day for years, you end up thinking: 'Who the hell am I?' I was lucky enough to make some money, enough to let me kick back. It was a great experience and it was nice to have a couple of No.1s but the best thing about it was that the money I made allowed me to have freedom and choice in my life. ~ Rick Astley

Contrary to what you think, not all preternatural beings hang out at the local Supernatural Pub looking for humans and dates. ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Oh . . . I'd been getting pretty sick of the office. It made me feel dead inside. Finally, the week-ends weren't long enough to get it out of my system. I couldn't read poetry or listen to music. It was like being constipated. Well, I got a holiday and went to Kent for a week's hiking. And for the first two days I felt nothing at all, just a sort of deadness inside. And one day I went into a pub in a place called Marden and had a couple of pints. And as I came out, a sort of bubble seemed to burst inside me, and I started feeling things again. And I suddenly felt an overwhelming hatred for cities and offices and people and everything that calls itself civilisation . . . .

"Then I got an idea. I sat down at the side of the road and thought about it. I'd read somewhere that the Manichees thought the world was created by evil. Well, it suddenly seemed to me that the forces behind the world weren't either good or evil, but something quite incomprehensible to human beings. And the only thing they want is movement, everlasting movement. That's the way I saw it suddenly. Human beings want peace, and they build their civilisations and make their laws to get peace. But the forces behind the world don't want peace. So they send down ertain men whose business is to keep the world in a turmoil - the Napoleons, Hitlers, Genghis Khans. And I called these men the Enemies, with a capital E. And I thought I belong among the Enemies - that's why I detest this bloody civilisation. A ~ Colin Wilson

It was after midnight by a mile when I slid off the bar stool at O'Malley's and began to walk home. O'Malley's is an old Irish pub and though I wasn't Irish, nor did I drink like a lot of other newspaper reporters I knew, I stopped by for a Coke nearly every evening. I liked listening to other reporters - and cops, who also frequented O'Malley's - shoot the breeze and relate old stories that hadn't been completely true the first time they'd been told.

O'Malley's was just somewhere to go which made every guy sipping a beer or doing shots feel a little less alone in a city like Los Angeles. Some of them still had wives, but you could tell they were lonely. Otherwise, they wouldn't have been hanging around a bar at that hour; they'd have been finding solace in soft flesh and perfume. Maybe their wives would have been finding some solace too, and more of them would have stayed married. Most of those guys, cops and reporters alike, were working on their second or third marriage. I didn't think they were working hard enough, but maybe that was because I didn't have anyone to go home to. ~ Bobby Underwood

I once worked in a pub. I couldn't add up to save my life, but I could pull the pints. ~ Pauline Quirke

I think the only thing I would've ever been any good at was probably being a pub landlord. I've thought of that a couple of times. ~ Joe Cocker

Afterwards, go to a pub for lunch. I've got $260 in my savings account and I really want you to use it for that. Really, I mean it
lunch is on me. Make sure you have pudding
sticky toffee, chocolate fudge cake, ice-cream sundae, something really bad for you. Get drunk too if you like (but don't scare Cal). Spend all the money.
And after that, when days have gone by, keep an eye out for me. I might write on the steam in the mirror when you're having a bath, or play with the leaves on the apple tree when you're out in the garden. I might slip into a dream.
Visit my grave when you can, but don't kick yourself if you can't, or if you move house and it's suddenly too far away. It looks pretty there in the summer (check out the website). You could bring a picnic and sit with me. I'd like that. ~ Jenny Downham

1. A time machine on the shoulders of memories, two advisers: on the right shoulder there is good future, in the left past that is evil, two open rays of time in which consciousness travels.
2. A halo of knowledge within life, this is a recording of a projection, one who feels reality can feel the universe: the past, present and future, and that which is timeless.
3. The laugh of rage
Rap beat: Trumpet music ram there beat street rhythm boo boom bang bang there tudum pub bam pa bang boom boom
The laughter of rage and the bloody gloom in a smile in consciousness from an evil joke of reality from the fact that you are not worthy to live like everyone else. The ragged strings of the ever-laughing psyche, like the blinking light of madness where there is insight between light and darkness. The interrupted melody of the harmony of the soul. The silence of insight overcomes the mind, the light is visible, leading to a new dimension of thinking, because everything is visible through the transparent eyelids of the vigilance of fear, and only unconsciousness temporarily closes our eyes from fatigue in the realm of the subconscious.
4. Gangsta music: Car sound Wooo ooo woooo oo drum beat drums pap pap pap
Laughing grin of smiling reality from the fact that billions of internal realities of people form a single reality of the hidden chaos of egoism.
5. There is nothing cheaper than sins.
7. Patience gives friends.
8. The trumpet sounds a symp ~ Musin Almat Zhumabekovich.

Ya game is fine, but ya booze-eyes are a problem. Not like ya ta drink this much. I reckon ya banjo'd, so ya are. ~ JoAnne Kenrick

I grew up in a place where everybody was a storyteller, but nobody wrote. It was that kind of Celtic, storytelling tradition: everybody would have a story at the pub or at parties, even at the clubs and raves. ~ Irvine Welsh

Arthur Church, who as I say took local journalism very seriously, wrote an eloquent defence of reporting even the nasty things. The gist of it was this, that it was in the public interest that the truth be known and known because it has been carefully reported and published. Without it, you are relying on the man in the pub, and rumour, possibly malicious rumour. If the local paper does for some reason get it wrong, then this would be known, and an apology and clarification would be made. This was not the best of all worlds, but better than the world of hearsay. ~ Terry Pratchett

Don't care if you're man
or woman: SEXIST
pub talk
belongs in the sewer. ~ Andy Carrington

One of the most elusive things about the white shark is their, uh..." His eyes moved to hers and he held them there.
"Their what?" she asked when he didn't finish, a bit rapt by his expression.
He kept his eyes locked on her.
"Their mating."
"Mating," she repeated, feeling a flutter in her stomach at the way he was looking at her...then suddenly not looking at her.
"We don't know if individual animals spawn in a certain spot every time --- kind of like a human might go to a particular pub if she wants some action. Juan an example, mind you?
She folded her arm, feeling her cheeks heat up. "Pub Uh-huh."
Jeff leaned against the railing, his expression looking smug at her embarrassment. "For all we know, sharks are just, ya know, doing it everywhere."
"Like the Kardasians?" ....
"But who know. Maybe, if we play just the right mood music, you and I will get lucky, Sharona Blaire."
Was he talking about shark reproduction... or human?
And... was he flirting? Earlier, he'd gone cold and hostile when she'd tried to apologize. The man was a ball of contradiction. A very sexy, very nice-smelling contradiction.
"Well." She swallowed, staring in his eyes. "I'm all for getting lucky. ~ Ophelia London

An Irishman walks into a pub," she begins and the bar went silent. "The bartender asks him, 'What'll you have?'" Her Irish accent was spot on. "The man says, 'Give me three pints of Guinness, please.' The bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.

"The bartender says, 'Sir, no need to order as many at a time. I'll keep an eye on it and when you get low, I'll bring you a fresh one.' The man replies, 'You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, me brothers have three Guinness stouts too, and we're drinking together.'

"The bartender thought this a wonderful tradition and every week the man came in and ordered three beers." January's playing and voice became more solemn, dramatic. "But one week, he ordered only two." The crowd oohed and ahhed. "He slowly drank them," she continued darkly, "and then ordered two more. The bartender looked at him sadly. 'Sir, I know your tradition, and, agh, I'd just like to say that I'm sorry for your loss.'

"The man looked on him strangely before it finally dawned on him. 'Oh, me brothers are fine - I just quit drinking. ~ Fisher Amelie

I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey. ~ Sally Phillips

We certainly noted that when given the opportunity, women handle money more efficiently. They have long term vision, they manage money more carefully. Men are more callous with money. Their first reflex is to blow it by getting drunk in a pub, or on prostitutes or gambling. Women, on the other hand, are endowed with a tremendous sense of self-sacrifice and try to get the best out of the money, for their children, but also for their husbands. ~ Muhammad Yunus

Your average genre novel is like a high speed car chase ending in a massive crash, with death, destruction, and balls of flame, from which the main characters (usually) emerge mostly unscathed. Everything builds up to the crash, and it's the anticipation that keeps us turning pages.

Anthony Trollope, by contrast, is like a pleasant Sunday afternoon drive through the countryside in an open carriage behind a pair of matched horses. There's conflict, sure; a herd of sheep blocks the road, two countrymen come to blows outside the pub, the cows in this field are looking daggers at the cows in that field. But the point of the drive is the drive itself, not the destination, because of course you're just going to end up at home anyway. ~ Will Duquette

During the first break-in I grabbed a load of hangers and thought, 'Magic', I'll be able to sell this stuff down the pub. But I'd forgotten to take a flashlight with me, and it turned out that the clothes I'd nicked were a bunch of babies' bibs and toddlers' underpants.
I might as well have tried to sell a turd. ~ Ozzy Osbourne

Suddenly he remembered Josh sitting on the motorbike and chatting with the bikers outside the pub - and he felt a throb of jealousy. It wasn't that he harbored any desire to sit on a motorbike, but ... he wanted to be allowed to want to sit on a motorbike. ~ Frances Hardinge

(...) I'm my very best self when I'm with him, but every day, I want him more than I need him. He taught me that love is patient, love is kind, love is calm and quiet. It's not a music video of big hair, big tears and erotic, electrical storms. It's two people pottering about a small flat making each other coffee. It's waking up every morning and feeling quietly delighted as you smell the sleep on his skin and observe the the way his tufty hair is framed by the pillow. It's sly hands sneaking up jumpers to stroke the silky skin underneath and wanting to share all your big news, bad news and pictures of especially adorable dogs. It's knowing that there's nothing that can't be talked over and solved by a walk to the park or a trip to the pub. ~ Daisy Buchanan

I'm reasonably good at talking onstage, but actually holding court in a pub is all to do with power dynamics which I don't think has anything to do with fiction. ~ Ned Beauman

The weekend break had begun with the usual resentment and had continued with half-repressed ill humour. It was, of course, his fault. He had been more ready to hurt his wife's feelings and deprive his daughter than inconvenience a pub bar full of strangers. He wished there could be one memory of his dead child which wasn't tainted with guilt and regret. ~ P.D. James

The next second a great blast of hot light erupted over Toad and Jed, but they didn't stop. Toad was trying to punch every bit of Jed that he could reach. There was a great howling of fright and a heavy-booted foot nearly missed Toad's fingers. Jed knocked Toad off him and rose to his feet. He swung his foot back, readying to kick. With a roar, Hazel flew at Jed. Her sharp claws latched onto his back, piercing through the leather vest. Jed roared in pain. His hands scrabbled for Hazel, but she flew in the air, beating her wings against his face. With a bellow, he turned on his heel and raced out of the pub. ~ M.L. LeGette

It was the feeling she'd had when Sam had first kissed her in the pub. When he'd first put his lips against her. She didn't know if she'd imagined it or if it had just been the effects of the booze, but it had felt as if a thousand flash bulbs were going off in her brain. As if someone had turned on a very bright, very intense light. And she;d sure as hell never wanted to switch it off. ~ Alexandra Potter

Last time I was in London, I visited Number 5, Bruton Street, which is the address I gave to Violet Bridgerton, the matriarch of the Bridgerton clan in my novels. It was a bit disconcerting to learn that it's actually a pub. ~ Julia Quinn

You'd phone or knock on the door of your friend or neighbour if they hadn't appeared at your local pub or bar for a few days, just to make sure they weren't dead in the cellar. ~ Jason Flemyng

I go from pub to pub, or jumping on buses or stopping cars. I don't need a TV audience. Every time I go naked, all of a sudden TV cameras pop up around me. ~ Mark Roberts

Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there, and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be. Mr. Prosser wanted to be at point D. Point D wasn't anywhere in particular, it was just any convenient point a very long way from points A, B and C. He would have a nice little cottage at point D, with axes over the door, and spend a pleasant amount of time at point E, which would be the nearest pub to point D. His wife of course wanted climbing roses, but he wanted axes. He didn't know why - he just liked axes. He flushed hotly under the derisive grins of the bulldozer drivers. ~ Douglas Adams

Actually, the funny thing is, after all these years, I've got all these new songs to learn for the show we're doing at Joe's Pub, so it's kind of fun to get down and rehearse new things, and also rethink some of the older songs, how we're going to do them. ~ Lesley Gore

Let me just say, I've seen a pub or two. ~ Don Johnson

Louise was an urbanite, she preferred the gut-thrilling sound of an emergency siren slicing through the night to the noise of country birds at dawn. Pub brawls, rackety roadworks, mugged tourists, the badlands on a Saturday night - they all made sense, they were all part of the huge, dirty, torn social fabric. There was a war raging out there in the city and she was part of the fight, but the countryside unsettled her because she didn't know who the enemy was. She had always preferred North and South to Wuthering Heights. All that demented running around the moors, identifying yourself with the scenery, not a good role model for a woman. ~ Kate Atkinson

The girl he had dragged along to the pub with him had grown to loathe him dearly over the last hour, and it would probably have been a great satisfaction to her to know that in a minute and a half or so he would suddenly evaporate into a whiff of hydrogen, ozone and carbon monoxide. However, when the moment came she would be too busy evaporating herself to notice it. ~ Douglas Adams

Dave and Serge...played the Fiddler's Elbow as if it were Giants Stadium, and even though it was acoustic, they just about blew the place up. They were standing on chairs adn lying on the floor, they were funny, they charmed everyone in the pub apart from an old drunk ditting next to the drum kit...who put his fingers firmly in his ears during Serge's extended harmonica solo. It was utterly bizarre and very moving: most musicians wouldn't have bothered turning up, let alone almost killing themselves. And I was reminded...how rarely one feels included in a live show. Usually you watch, and listen, and drift off, and the band plays well or doesn't and it doesn't matter much either way. It can actually be a very lonely experience. But I felt a part of the music, and a part of the people I'd gone with, and, to cut this short before the encores, I didn't want to read for about a fortnight afterward. I wanted to write, but I didn't want to read no book. I was too itchy, too energized, and if young people feel like that every night of the week, then, yes, literature 's dead as a dodo.

(Nick's thoughts after seeing Marah at a little pub called Fiddler's Elbow.) ~ Nick Hornby

James, that's a bad situation. I'm not saying it's not repairable, but it's pretty far. When you go from being in one of the best bands in the world to some cover band ... as far as I'm concerned, he was playing down at the pub. ~ Billy Corgan

Ginger people! D'you know what they are? Our aborigines ... that's what! GINGERIGINES! Look at 'em ... they were 'ere first. All this is theirs!
Al Murray, Pub Landlord ~ Neil Oliver

It's incredible, really, the amount of pain cricketers are prepared to put themselves through. Say you're an opening batsman who gets out for a duck in the first over on day one. What compels you to hang around for the rest of the day, let alone turn up the following Saturday for day two? Yet you do, lest 10 blokes who you don't even like think slightly less of you. You retain a sense of loyalty to the club, to your teammates, even though those same teammates will not hesitate to rate your girlfriend a 'six out of 10' in front of your face. During the time I've spent watching my teammates bat after getting out cheaply, I could have learned a language by now. I could be speaking Mandarin. Instead, all I've got to show for it is a career average of 13.6 and a 10 percent discount at our local pub. ~ Sam Perry

Mr. Brooker, though out of work for two years, was a miner by trade, but he and his wife had been keeping shops of various kinds as a side line all their lives. At one time they had had a pub, but they had lost their licence for allowing gambling on the premises. I doubt whether any of their businesses had ever paid; they were the kind of people who run a business chiefly in order to have something to grumble about. ~ George Orwell

Some people like going to the pub; I enjoy going to the gym. ~ Frank Bruno

An Irish pub, such as you have seen a thousand times before. The kind where the emphasis is on the "ish" rather than on the proud name of Éire. ~ Sorin Suciu

Our daughter's name Arwynn comes from Arwen in 'Lord of the Rings' because my wife and I met for the first time in the Eagle and Child pub in Oxford where J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis used to go to read out their stories to one another. ~ Adrian McKinty

In Chicago, you can't swing a cat without hitting an Irish pub (and angering the cat), but McAnally's place stands out from the crowd. ~ Jim Butcher

The scarily brilliant Romantic poet and visionary William Blake dared to say what many of us have perhaps thought but kept to ourselves: A good local pub has much in common with a church, except that a pub is warmer, and there's more conversation. ~ Brian D. McLaren

I go to the pub, hang out with my family - that's pretty much it. I also do a lot of sports when I get the chance. I'm actually a pretty mellow guy. ~ Mads Mikkelsen