Enema Quotes

This town needs an enema! ~ Jack Nicholson

Suddenly I began to wonder how to please so many people. do I take the magnesium citrate? What about the coffee enema? Do I do both? Do I do the abdominal message or the colonic? Do I tell the doctors about each other? East meets West in Gilda's body: Western medicine down my throat, Eastern medicine up my butt. ~ Gilda Radner

Gonna have to give myself a mental enema when we get back to the TARDIS. ~ Mike Tucker

The world needs an enema. ~ Mason Cooley

We were beginning to see that the medical profession, at the time still over 90 percent male, had transformed childbirth from a natural event into a surgical operation performed on an unconscious patient in what approximated a sterile environment. Routinely, the woman about to give birth was subjected to an enema, had her pubic hair shaved off, and was placed in the lithotomy position - on her back, with knees up and crotch spread wide open. As the baby began to emerge, the obstetrician performed an episiotomy, a surgical enlargement of the vaginal opening, which had to be stitched back together after birth. Each of these procedures came with a medical rationale: The enema was to prevent contamination with feces; the pubic hair was shaved because it might be unclean; the episiotomy was meant to ease the baby's exit. But each of these was also painful, both physically and otherwise, and some came with their own risks, Shaving produces small cuts and abrasions that are open to infection; episiotomy scars heal m ore slowly than natural tears and can make it difficult for the woman to walk or relieve herself for weeks afterward. The lithotomy position may be more congenial for the physician than kneeling before a sitting woman, but it impedes the baby's process through the birth canal and can lead to tailbone injuries in the mother. ~ Barbara Ehrenreich

Patrick leaned forward in his chair, a serious expression washing over his face. "So are we not going to talk about the white elephant in the room?"

Emma cut her eyes over to him and grinned. "You mean the fact that one of the prizes is an enema bag?"

Crossing his arms over his chest, Patrick huffed, "That is not what I'm talking about, and you know it. ~ Katie Ashley

Reading Stephen King's book, On Writing, was like being cornered and forced to have a long, drawn out mental enema. ~ Mary Garden

I heard where it's a misery wrapped in an enema. ~ Terry Pratchett

Punk was sort of an angry stance against things that had happened just before, against the pop of glam rock, against progressive rock. Music had become very staid and it was about the playing and people obsessed. Eric Clapton was God and we needed an enema within the art form, and punk did do that. ~ Gary Kemp

You're so full of shit, if you ever had an enema you'd evaporate into thin air. ~ Catherine Doyle

I need my meds. And shock therapy. And maybe an enema! ~ Jay Bell

Personally, I've come to understand that I haven't been on a journey to give my house a coffee enema and make it whistle-clean from top to bottom. I take way too much joy in rediscovering all those things that I've been collecting since I was a kid, always searching for the things that felt "real"--things that felt genuine, had stories.

I shouldn't have to give up my love of going through old boxes and making discoveries of things I forgot existed or imagined must have been given away years ago, as if I've sent a care package to myself from some distant past I only half-remember. Suddenly, surprisingly, a box full of memories will bring it all back into sharp focus. ~ Eve O. Schaub

Most enema scenes are intensely sociable ones, with two or more people gathered around a vessel that supports, on its lid, a cup for drinking and a syringe for enemas (e.g., K530, K4605). ~ Stephen Houston

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone. ~ Lenny Bruce

If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox. ~ Anonymous

There are many words in the English language that you never want to hear you father say. Enema. Orgasm. Disappointed. ~ Lauren Oliver

She had a lot of nerve signing her note "Love." [ ... ] But she did sign it that way: "Love." What did that mean? Did she mean it, or was it habit? She probably signed all of her letters with "Love." Dear Insured, We are sorry but your policy will not pay for your barium enema as it was done for recreational purposes. Love, Jody. Claims Dept ...
Maybe not. ~ Christopher Moore

It had been a startling day for young Copperfield: most of the morning confined in an enema-bag carton; his first attempt at flight; his long fall through the weeds; and then sitting on that dead man's face. ~ John Irving

Grinding his teeth to keep from lashing out, Caillen did as instructed. A little belligerently, granted, still he did obey as he'd promised his father he would. But it was hard to sit up straight when what he really wanted to do was give the pompous ass in front of him a goblet enema. ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

I, too, like to read. Once a month, I go to the local branch. For myself, I pick a novel and, for Bruno, with his cataracts, a book on tape. At first Bruno was doubtful. "What am I supposed to do with this?" he said, looking at the box set of "Anna Karenina" as if I'd handed him an enema. And yet. A day or two later I was going about my business when a voice from above bellowed, ALL HAPPY FAMILIES RESEMBLE ONE ANOTHER, nearly giving me a conniption. After that, he listened to whatever I'd brought him at top volume and then returned it to me without comment. One afternoon, I came back from the library with Ulysses. For a month straight he listened. He had a habit of pressing the stop button and rewinding when he hadn't fully grasped something. INELUCTABLE MODALITY OF THE VISIBLE: AT LEAST THAT. Pause, rewind. INELUCTABLE MODALITY OF THE. Pause, rewind. INELUCTABLE MODALITY. Pause. INELUCT. ~ Nicole Krauss

How can anybody hate nurses? Nobody hates nurses. The only time you hate a nurse is when they're giving you an enema. ~ Warren Beatty

Sexual intercourse was to be looked on as a slightly disgusting minor operation, like having an enema. ~ George Orwell

Then one night we used the baby's head as a bong. (I'm pretty sure that's the only time that sentence has ever been used in a memoir. One would hope. I'd check it out on the Internet, but to be honest; that whole horse-enema-fetish stuff scared the shit out of me, so I'm not even going to look.) ~ Jenny Lawson

Paulie's got so much Jesus, he's going to need an enema to get it all out of him, ~ Nick Wilgus

When you empty out the vessel, you also empty out all the crap floating around in there. The additives. The impurities. It sure feels good. It's a whole body, whole-minded enema. ~ Stephen King

Asking a sociologist to solve a problem is like prescribing an enema for diarrhea. ~ Saul Alinsky

Man, I still couldn't believe this was happening. God hated me or something. Pregnant women and me were enema. Anathema. Whatever. ~ Kylie Scott

Cigarettes and Whiskey and Wild, Wild Women"

Perhaps I was born kneeling,
born coughing on the long winter,
born expecting the kiss of mercy,
born with a passion for quickness
and yet, as things progressed,
I learned early about the stockade
or taken out, the fume of the enema.
By two or three I learned not to kneel,
not to expect, to plant my fires underground
where none but the dolls, perfect and awful,
could be whispered to or laid down to die.

Now that I have written many words,
and let out so many loves, for so many,
and been altogether what I always was -
a woman of excess, of zeal and greed,
I find the effort useless.
Do I not look in the mirror,
these days,
and see a drunken rat avert her eyes?
Do I not feel the hunger so acutely
that I would rather die than look
into its face?
I kneel once more,
in case mercy should come
in the nick of time. ~ Anne Sexton

During the whole of the fucking Middle Ages, the place where they had it off most of all was the cemeteries! ... people don't face up these odd little sides of things, leave a lot of naughty little facts in the dark out of human decency! A mistake! wrong! ... human decency never holds up! ... with me it's my enemas! the toilet! after two weeks without an enema I have nothing against dying ... and they give it to me so hot that I scream ...
And in Claunau? [i.e. Dachau]
You're right, you're right! I whimper, but I'm spoiled! but were you there, in Claunau? ... My ass you were! doesn't stop you from screeching your fucking lungs out as if you were the first one in and the last one out! ~ Louis Ferdinand Celine

(The Soviet space agency did not traditionally give cosmonauts steak and eggs before launch; it gave them a one-liter enema.) Fahey, ~ Mary Roach