Ellen Hopkins Quotes

Ghosts

Take shape under moonlight,
materialize in dreams.
Shadows. Silhouettes
of what is no more. But

ghosts don't

bother me. The day brings
bigger things to worry about
than flimsy remains of
yesterday. No, spooks don't

scare me.

Gauzy apparitions might
prank your psyche or
agitate your nightmares,
but lacking

flesh and blood

they are powerless
to hurt you-cannot hope
to inflict the kind of damage
that real, live

people do. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Faces

...I
...don't
...know
...the real
...me ~ Ellen Hopkins

I think it's better to be obsessed than to be depressed ... I think pushing to get what you want can't be so awful. I think it's key to success. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Some secrets
are better left kept. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Ask a soldier what he believes in. He'll tell you God. Country. The patient hands of death
the ones he's wearing. ~ Ellen Hopkins

At Last It's a perfect winter day. No wind. No Arctic freeze. Cloudless azure sky. A day to fly. Snow drapes the mountain like ermine, fabulous feather- light powder coaxing me to flee the confines of my room, brave the mostly plowed road up to the closest ski resort. To run from the cloying silence connected Mom and Dad, into encompassing stillness far away from city dirt and noise Far above suburban gridlock. Far beyond the grasp of home. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Don't make me laugh, I'd much rather cry. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Is it wrong to leave relative security in favor of unknown risk at the side of someone you love? ~ Ellen Hopkins

I'm right as sin - it's the rest of the world that's wrong. ~ Ellen Hopkins

For a long while. Finally she says, I don't believe in love. Not sure it really exists, but even if it does for some people, it won't for me. She is serious. Then she lightens up. But, hey, if you think you love me, cool. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Except when it comes to Mom. She is, and always has been, the driving force in this family. And sometimes that means driving us head-on, no possible change of course, into a wall. ~ Ellen Hopkins

I don't need more pain in my life. Why did I invite it in? Do I have to feel pain to believe I feel anything at all? ~ Ellen Hopkins

Was the
fun in the fall? ~ Ellen Hopkins

I might have been your zygote. Your fetus. Maybe even your off-spring. But I have never been your son. You have no idea what it means to be a real mother. You think nine months of discomfort and eight hours of labor gives you the right to call yourself 'Mom'? Well, bitch, you're delusional. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Face red, but brave in spite of it, Ethan offered an even smaller box. My hands shook as i opened it.
Set in a gold promise ring, three small diamonds glittered. One for you, one for me, one for us, he said sweetly. I love you. ~ Ellen Hopkins

The stars shine as they always do. Same stars. Same sky. Only I am different. ~ Ellen Hopkins

How far we claim to have come - accepting all men as created equal. Gender being the requisite qualifier, as women are not reviewed in the same fashion - their fashion hopefully better suited to the bedroom than the boardroom. And, you know, homosexuals not really being 'men,' cannot be judged equivalent to their stiffer-wristed brethren. On religion, well, some Christians are willing to make room for a Jew or two in their inner circles. But Mecca-facing prayer must be met with flaming crosses. Close your eyes to the details, the big picture can still be viewed through rose-colored glass. But go any distance beyond the rhetoric, truth becomes a shadowed lens. ~ Ellen Hopkins

What I don't like is what it sometimes takes to win. Backstabbing. Manipulation. Out-and-out bribery once in a while, and not always the monetary kind. ~ Ellen Hopkins

We kissed for about the thousandth time, No promises, no demands, Just solid rebuilding of shattered trust. ~ Ellen Hopkins

In fact, since the accident, Mom doesn't love anyone. She is marble. Beautiful. Frigid. Easily stained by her family. What's left of us anyway. We are corpses.
At first, we sought rebirth. But resurrection devoid of her love has made us zombies. We get up every morning, skip breakfast, hurry off to work or school. For in those other places, we are more at home.
And sometimes we stagger beneath the weight of grief, the immensity of aloneness. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Scientists say every action initiates an equal and opposite reaction. I say that's just the start. I say every action initiates a most unequal and upredictable chain reaction, that every filament of living becomes part of a larger weave, while remaining identifiable. That every line of latitude requires several stripes of longitude to obtain meaning. That every universe is part of a bigger heaven, a heaven of rhythm and geometry, where a heartbeat is the apex of a triangle. ~ Ellen Hopkins

God is love," she said. "And he respects love, whether it's between a parents, and child, a man and woman, or friends. I don't think he cares about religion one little bit. Live your life right. Love with all your heart. Don't hurt others, and help those in need. That is all you need to know. And don't worry about heaven. If it exists, you'll be welcome. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Paradise A concept embraced by almost every culture. A land of peace and harmony. Some say it doesn't belong to the earth, that there is no Shangri-la, no utopian wilderness for the living. ~ Ellen Hopkins

I have no right to love you, but I do. ~ Ellen Hopkins

What I've learned is just how resilient love can be. You can beat it, pound it into pulp, but killing it is hard to do. ~ Ellen Hopkins

But Hey, Guess What
Crazy means I'm not liable
for my actions. So screw it,
I'll go home, propped up on
Prozac against distractions ~ Ellen Hopkins

Yeah, it stings. But at least I feel something. Something besides hungry. Something besides afraid. Weird. I always thought cutters were sick. Sicker than me, even. But with a single swipe I understand why they do it. Why they like it, even though they hate it. I let the water run over the cut, ratchet it hotter, watch the blood slow, stutter, almost halt. I like the way the exposed flesh looks, all pinkish white. It looks new, although I know that isn't right. It's the same age as my skin, as my bones. Me. It's been there with me since the beginning. Been with me through thick. Thin. Daddy. Suddenly, I don't like how it looks at all. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Losing Grandma, just when I'd found her again. A waterfall of flowers brightened her funeral, but they couldn't disguise the stench of death. ~ Ellen Hopkins

She's incredible, not that she's perfect. But you once said imperfections create character. ~ Ellen Hopkins

At that exact moment, every single thing about my life changed. Forever. ~ Ellen Hopkins

When People Ask

How he's doing now, I have

no idea what to say except for,

"Better." I don't know if that's

true, or what goes on in a place

like Aspen Springs, not that any-

one knows he's there, thank God.

He has dropped off most people's

radar, although that's kind of odd.

Before he took this unbelievable

turn, Conner was top rung on our

social ladder. But with his crash

and burn no longer news of the day,

all but a gossipy few have quit

trying to fill in the blanks.

One exception is Kendra, who

for some idiotic reason still

loves him and keeps asking about

him, despite the horrible way he

dumped her. Kendra may be pretty,

but she's not especially bright. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Her halo was never gold, or it couldn't have rusted so completely. ~ Ellen Hopkins

You think God would let a girl do something special? ~ Ellen Hopkins

Afraid to Die Loveless
Because I think if you die without knowing love in this life, that's how you'll spend eternity.
Alone.
Frozen. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Life is all about change. If it were static, think about how boring it would be. You can't be afraid of it, and you can't worry that you'll mess things up. You deserve good things, and I want to be one of them. ~ Ellen Hopkins

The road snakes south, then north, ultimately taking us east, and I wonder if life is like that. Go one way, then another, to end up someplace else. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Something stirred beneath my skin, some being inside I'd only suspected existed, demon or angel, I couldn't say. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Love Is a curious thing. Sometimes it barrels into you, leaves you breathless. Other times, it comes in- to your life, a tentative beam of morning sun sneaking through the blinds, and you think this light isn't possible. The shutters are drawn. Night should linger on. I don't feel like waking. Yet the room comes slowly lit. Sleep slithers away, and at last you can no longer deny the dawning. ~ Ellen Hopkins

In a woman's womb.
another chance.
to make the world better. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Some secrets can't be kept too long. No matter how hard you try to hide them, sooner or later they scurry out from your cupboards, cockroaches on the run. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Cleansed, chlorinated to the point of chemical peel, sore muscles relieved, I felt almost human again. Tiptoe to my room, up a darkened hall, past closed doors, I wondered if I'd ever feel completely human again. ~ Ellen Hopkins

I blamed the Bible,
when its words were not at fault,
only the way they're interpreted
by those too willing
to wield them like chain saws,
cutting others off at the knees. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Violence is never right. But a man has a duty to keep his wife in check. ~ Ellen Hopkins

I can see why she feels left behind. Maybe even discarded. Is that why she refuses to accept my love and return it? Afraid that love doesn't last? Doesn't really exist? Afraid if her own father can withdraw his love (or at least the manifestation of his love), that maybe she somehow isn't worthy of the emotion? ~ Ellen Hopkins

Hers is the face I wear, treading the riptide, fathomless oceans where good girls drown. ~ Ellen Hopkins

If you worry about falling down, and never 'up,' the sky will remain forever out of reach. ~ Ellen Hopkins

I want to open myself, let him inside. But how do I give what has already been taken? ~ Ellen Hopkins

I'm afraid it will never be perfect again. I am indelibly stained. Forever redefined, but blurred around the edges. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Perfection is a ridiculous goal because there is no such thing. Real beauty is what you are inside. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Frustration, too evident in the cement clench of his jaw.
Distance, the ethereal detached from the flesh and bone.
Impatience, in the soft thrum of his heel as we sit in silence. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Not Exactly True That skin hate is dead. There will never be color blindness in a culture of fear. But when you live afraid of your neighbor, the monster you should most walk in terror of thrives. It starts as a little thing, small enough to burrow into your pores, take up excruciating residence in the dark recesses of your brain. Its name is paranoia, and it spreads like an oil spill, there in the shadows, chokes your humanity. Threatens your soul. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Later, Bishop Crandall dropped by
The house to give me a stern
reprimand. He sat across
the cluttered table,

playing with a paper clip.
'Your parents are worries about you, Pattyn.'

I was worried about myself.
But I wasn't about to let him
know it. "Really?"

'Really. What have you got to say for yourself? You've always been such a good girl.'

Good girl. Sit. Stay. Fetch.
Bristles rose up along my
spine. "Define good."

'I don't appreciate your attitude,
Pattyn. Fast and pray. Search your
soul for the inequities in your life.'

"Any inequity in my life
began when I was born
female. Can you fix that?"

'You'll have to fix that yourself,
by concentrating on the things
God expects of you.'

His two-faced rhetoric
was pissing me off. "You
mean like kissing your ass?"

He slammed his hand on the table.
'I will not listen to that sort
of language. Apologize!'

Behind me, I hear Mom
gasp. But I was on a roll.
"I'm sorry, Bishop

I'm sorry I ever believed
you might have something
worthwhile to say. ~ Ellen Hopkins

The worst liars are the ones everyone thinks would never ever tell a lie. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Nobody seems to care that with every push to live up to their expectations, my own dreams vaporize. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Even as a kid I had to be the adult. ~ Ellen Hopkins

The monster will forever speak
to me. An today,
it's calling me out the door. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Hell isn't some fiery pit "down there." It's right here on Earth, in every dirty city, every yawning town. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Communication
Was never big in my house.
We sat together over
dinner, but the only sound
you'd hear was crunching
and chewing and the little
ones asking for more, please.
We lived, all boxed up in
invisible containers. We
hardly knew the people
we called sister or father.
Jackie and I were the
exceptions to that rule. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Another day, a different hour, take a left and not a right, you'd wind up a whole different being. Knowing if that would be better requires a realm of experience only decades can build. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Red and raw like my heart, pried from your's, the two beating, no longer together, but a thousand miles between them when only yesterday they thumped in unison. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Can 'love and obey' possibly go together? ~ Ellen Hopkins

I write poetry anyway and have for years and years. For me, putting fiction and poetry together is like the best of both worlds. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Raining radiation on this ozone-deprived planet. The only thing she ever longed for was short-lived love. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Built by pain and drive. ~ Ellen Hopkins

life before the monster ~ Ellen Hopkins

I wanted to meet the monster.
Why go down if you can go up? ~ Ellen Hopkins

I don't believe in God, don't believe in the devil. Unless you want to count my mother. She might be Satan's sister, I suppose. ~ Ellen Hopkins

From what I've seen, love isn't about mutual respect. It's more concerns with control than sacrifice. And I wonder whether it's better or worse when love finally walks away. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Some people
Never find the right kind of love
you know, the kind that steals
your breath away.
Like diving into a snowmelt.
The kind that jolts your heart,
sets it beating apace.
An anxious hiccuping of hummingbirds wings.
The kind that makes every terrible minute apart feel like hours.
Days.
Years.
Some people flit from one insane possibility to the next.
Never experincing the connection of two people.
rocked by destiny.
Never knowing what it means to love someone else,
more than themselves.
More than life itself, or the promise of something better.
Beyond this world,
More even (forgive me!) than god.
Lucky me, I found the right kind of love.
With the wrong person. ~ Ellen Hopkins

It wants, but does not demand. It asks, but doesn't take. It gives, and pleads for more. It is filled with desire, but also curiosity, and it teaches me that a kiss should come gift wrapped, not stripped naked ~ Ellen Hopkins

There will never be color blindness in a culture of fear. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Love can complete you. It can also destroy you. ~ Ellen Hopkins

A daughter is a rainbow - a curve of light through scattered mist that lifts the spirit with her prismatic presence. Is a shadow - a reminder of something brilliant ducking out of sight, too easily drawn away. She is an aria, swelling within the concern chamber, an echo reverberating across a miniature sea. She is a secret, whispered, a hint of what we cannot know until it finds us. She is a sliver of her father, a shard of her mother. A daughter is a promise, kept. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Real love shouldn't be disposable. ~ Ellen Hopkins

I think parents should know what their children are reading, and if they truly object, they should tell their kids why, rather than summarily removing a book from their possession. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Sometimes you're traveling a highway, the only road you've ever known and wham! A semi comes from nowhere and rolls right over you. Sometimes you dont wake up. But if you happen to you know things will never be the same. Sometimes that's not so bad. Sometimes lives instersect, no rhyme, no reason, except, perhaps, for a passing semi. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Red and raw like my brain, unable to shut down, thoughts crashing like electrons orbiting a nucleus of deuling emotions. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Why are people so afraid of giving their kids necessary information that might prevent an unwanted pregnancy or disease? But they're not worried about the violent nature of video games or movies or books ... ~ Ellen Hopkins

Might as Well Laugh ... remember ... when ... Life ... made ... sense ~ Ellen Hopkins

Flying Is that what it's like when you die? Do you slip out of your skin, go soaring up into a butterscotch sky? Do you surf waves of light? How far? How high? I hope that's what it's like, but I'm afraid it's a lot more like falling with no net to catch you, and no way of knowing how hard you will hit or where you'll stop. Will you touch down back on Earth, or will you land in the nightmare you always feared you'd never wake up from? ~ Ellen Hopkins

I write books for young adults because I truly connect with them on some very deep level. They are our hope, our future, and inspiring them to be the best they can be is very important to me. ~ Ellen Hopkins

The things they say!
A truck driver would blush.
I would never talk that way
to Trevor he walks on water.
I want him to think I do too.
For a while, he did, or at least
he pretended to.

I did things with Trevor
I wouldn't dare to confess
to anyone - things I didn't
know anyone did.
But he wanted me to,
so I did. That's what you do
when you love someone,
right? ~ Ellen Hopkins

Denial is a powerful thing. It makes you believe lies. ~ Ellen Hopkins

I'm sad. Pressed down by sorrow. I'm angry. Pissed at God, if there is one, and the way things are. I'm scared. Confused by the whys. Why are we here? Is there, really, some intelligent design? Why do we cry for someone who leaves us if there's some Grand Pearly Gate in the sky? Why worry about how we build our lives if the ultimate ending for all is death, a single breath away? (358) ~ Ellen Hopkins

Smile. Nod. Say
something witty
before he finds
out what an incredible
geek you are. ~ Ellen Hopkins

God wasn't love, couldn't be love. Because for me, love was a corpse. ~ Ellen Hopkins

The easiest definition is this: an addiction is something we can't stop doing. Among its symptoms are lethargy, a lack of ability to focus, a tremendous desire to maintain routine in our daily life, the inability to complete cycles of action, a lack of new experiences and emotional responses, and the persistent feeling that one day is the same as the next and the next. ~ Ellen Hopkins

When did creating a flawless facade become a more vital goal than learning to love the person who lives inside your skin? ~ Ellen Hopkins

Home. What does it mean to me? Will I ever know home again? ~ Ellen Hopkins

No rest for the wicked, which must include me. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Happiness is a bull's-eye, awaiting arrows of pain. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Girls are impossible to satisfy." "Not every girl." Not me. I'd be happy if he'd just like me a little. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Funny how when your life is mostly bullshit, you turn off feeling.
Sometimes it's hard to turn it back on again. ~ Ellen Hopkins

As the old saying goes, sometimes loving someone means letting them go. ~ Ellen Hopkins

No way to get away. No way to get away. Little change to sneak away ... insanity. ~ Ellen Hopkins

And suddenly, there is no Adam, no
Chase, and there never, ever was. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Have you ever had so many thoughts churning inside that you didn't dare let them escape, in case they blew you wide open? ~ Ellen Hopkins

Librarians were like guardian angels, with graying hair and beady eyes, magnified through reading glasses, and always read to recommend new literary windows to gaze through. ~ Ellen Hopkins

Satan has bigger fish to fry,
mostly in Washington, D.C.
Now how about dinner? ~ Ellen Hopkins

Say a Hail Mary for me. I could use some forgiveness. ~ Ellen Hopkins