Detective Noir Quotes

You were dead, you were sleeping the big sleep, you were not bothered by things like that, oil and water were the same as wind and air to you. You just slept the big sleep, not caring about the nastiness of how you died or where you fell. Me, I was part of the nastiness now. Far more a part of it than Rusty Regan was. ~ Raymond Chandler

Calvino remembered he had no food in the house and would have to go shopping on Sukhumvit Road. Then he planned to crawl into his bed and sleep, the kind of deep sleep without dreams or hopes, a sleep without regrets, without knowing or thinking how things got the way they are or how occasional fragments of decency escaped the forces of gravity. ~ Christopher G. Moore

A Dick and Jane story written in blood and battered bone.

See Spot.

See Spot run.

See Spot run from a gaping chest wound.

Run Spot run.

See Detective smear Spot into a baggy for DNA testing. ~ J.E. Mac

I like two men, two guns that kind of thing, I don't do subtle. ~ C.S. Boag

Dead men are heavier than broken hearts. ~ Raymond Chandler

The dentist swiveled on his heels and disappeared, leaving me there to massage my jaw back into feeling after its brief, masochistic marriage to the top of my wooden desk. ~ Jonathan Lethem

What I try to do is write a story about a detective rather than a detective story. Keeping the reader fooled until the last, possible moment is a good trick and I usually try to play it, but I can't attach more than secondary importance to it. The puzzle isn't so interesting to me as the behavior of the detective attacking it. ~ Dashiell Hammett

The mystery story is two stories in one: the story of what happened and the story of what appeared to happen. ~ Mary Roberts Rinehart

Interviewer: What does it mean to you to be a Silettian detective?
Murray: (Pause.) It means I was blind, and now I can see.
Interviewer: And the drinking?
Murray: Well. Some people need glasses to see, you know. ~ Sara Gran

A detective novel should contain no long descriptive passages, no literary dallying with side-issues, no subtly worked-out character analyses, no 'atmospheric' preoccupations. Such matters have no vital place in a record of crime and deduction. They hold up the action and introduce issues irrelevant to the main purpose, which is to state a problem, analyze it, and bring it to a successful conclusion. To be sure, there must be a sufficient descriptiveness and character delineation to give the novel verisimilitude. ~ S. S. Van Dine

All science, even the divine science, is a sublime detective story. Only it is not set to detect why a man is dead; but the darker secret of why he is alive. ~ G.K. Chesterton

In the early nineties, I was a cub reporter on a city newspaper in Limerick, and assigned to the courthouse there. One day, an old detective sergeant came and whispered to me in the press pit. He pointed out a young offender, a teenager who was up for stealing a car or something relatively minor, and said, 'See this kid? He'll kill.' ~ Kevin Barry

It was dawn by the time the detective showed up; tired and weary. Tired because he'd been called from his bed before dawn, weary because he'd spent his life looking at the bad side of human nature and that wasn't going to change. ~ Alan Furst

Male prostitutes? Why should women pay for it when men will do it to them for free anytime they ask?" The other detective leaned over and whispered in his ear for a few seconds, and then it dawned on the poor dumb bastard what I meant. ~ E.R. White Jr.

Still, I'd be lying if I said I'd never fantasized about getting into a ballgown and having some intensely romantic night. Sans singing, though. I have a stunning skill at being perpetually off-key. ~ Mila Noir

You would kill or enslave everyone? There is so much beauty in the world that they'd destroy. How do you not see it? (Delphine)
Spoken like someone who has only lived in the cushioned world of dreams. You have no idea what the real world is like. What people will do to you when they know they can get away with it. People are absolutely cruel and I say more power to Noir for tearing it down. (Jericho) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Chuckling to herself, Nancy said aloud, Romance and detective work won't mix tonight! ~ Carolyn Keene

After a couple seconds his eyelids fluttered at the scent that was wafting off Detective Michaels. Damn 'em all to hell. He smelled like something he wanted to rut against and come hard on. Fuck. Judge rolled his window down all the way. He'd rather smell the trash on the street than get a hard-on for this good-smelling, eager-to-prove-himself, straight asshole. He chanced a look at Michaels and was shocked to see him slouched and confident riding with him. He had a dark pair of aviator shades on, staring out the window with one hand propped on the door. It was almost as if he didn't know he was hot. And damnit if that wasn't sexy in itself. ~ A.E. Via

In ordinary times we get along surprisingly well, on the whole, without ever discovering what our faith really is.If, now and again, this remote and academic problem is so unmannerly as to thrust its way into our minds, there are plenty of things we can do to drive the intruder away. We can get the car out or go to a party or to the cinema or read a detective story or have a row with a district council or write a letter to the papers about the habits of the nightjar or Shakespeare's use of nautical metaphor. Thus we build up a defense mechanism against self-questioning because, to tell the truth, we are very much afraid of ourselves. ~ Dorothy L. Sayers

In America, they have specialist mystery book stores with whole sections devoted to cat mysteries, golf mysteries, quilting mysteries. It's a hugely broad genre from the darkest noir to tales of a 19th-century vet who solves crimes, thanks to his talking cat. ~ Mark Billingham

There certainly does seem a possibility that the detective story will come to an end, simply because the public will have learnt all the tricks. ~ Dorothy L. Sayers

She was a tall, seedy, sad-eyed blonde who had once been a policewoman and had lost her job when she married a cheap little check bouncer named Johnny Horne, to reform him. She hadn't reformed him, but she was waiting for him to come out so she could try again. ~ Raymond Chandler

But if you were investigating a crime," said Lady Swaffham, "you'd have to begin by the usual things, I suppose - finding out what the person had been doing, and who'd been to call, and looking for a motive, wouldn't you?"

"Oh, yes," said Lord Peter, "but most of us have such dozens of motives for murderin' all sorts of inoffensive people. There's lots of people I'd like to murder, wouldn't you?"

"Heaps," said Lady Swaffham. ~ Dorothy L. Sayers

Is there something in druggy subjects that encourages directors to make imitation film noir? Film noir itself becomes an addiction. ~ Pauline Kael

There's a lot of two-hander dialogue in 'True Detective,' and I needed to place those guys in locations where there were other levels of visual storytelling. It didn't necessarily have to move the plot forward, but it had to add tone or add to the overall feeling. ~ Cary Fukunaga

I read once that this man was in the chair and when the electrocutioner threw the switch the smoke came out of the man's head and formed a question mark over him and everybody said it was an omen, that maybe he didn't commit the murder they killed him for."
"Well," I said, "if they catch me, there won't be any question mark. There'll be an exclamation point. ~ Elliott Chaze

A detective story generally describes six living men discussing how it is that a man is dead. A modern philosophic story generally describes six dead men discussing how any man can possibly be alive. ~ G.K. Chesterton

Suddenly the images in the center of the room became more than images. They solidified. ~ Stephanie Osborn

Murder, other than in the most strict forensic sense, is never soluble. That dark human clot can never melt into a lucid, clear suspension. Our detective fiction tells us otherwise: everything is just meat and cold ballistics. Provide a murderer, a motive and a means, and you have solved the crime. Using this method, the solution to the Second World War is as follows: Hitler. The German economy. Tanks. Thus, for convenience, we reduce the complex events. ~ Alan Moore

A conventional crime story is simple - it's just a corpse in the river or something, and a detective with an alcohol problem. ~ David Lagercrantz

I think a lot of us responded intensely to 'True Detective' because it was so incredibly earnest. That's what made it heartbreaking and involving. ~ Annalee Newitz

Wife number three: Lynette. She looked like a horse and kind of walked like one, too. Not surprisingly, neigh was her favorite word and seven nights a week.
~Detective Mike Malone ~ D.B. Woodling

They're testing you to see if you can follow orders, and you're failing with flying f**king colours. ~ D.R. Graham

I've actually published two compilations, if only barely. Hire a private detective and possibly you'll be able to locate them. One was called 'Violent Screen,' and the other 'Now Playing at the Valencia.' Bantam and Simon and Schuster. ~ Stephen Hunter

As a biographer, I try to uncover the adventures and personalities behind each character I research. Once my character and I have reached an understanding, then I begin the detective work reading old books, old letters, old newspapers, and visiting the places where my subject lived. Often I turn up surprises, and of course, I pass them on. ~ Jean Fritz

Elphaba's face darkened again. Then she asked, hesitantly, as if afraid of the answer, "So, how do you get the evil life force?"

"From innocent people, Elphaba," Nick spoke so quietly he almost whispered. "I must draw the life force from innocent people. The more innocent they are, the more evil the murder is."

Elphaba jerked as though a shock had struck her in the heart. "Oh, that's terrible!"

"Yes, it is. Terrible. That word doesn't even do it justice, terrible. There is no Magick more terrible than Magick that cheats death. I have cheated death, and death extracts its price."

Elphaba silently looked at Nick, her expression of revulsion enough to communicate her feelings.

"You shouldn't act so surprised, malyutka," Nick said softly. "It is who I am. And it's worked for me for centuries."

Elphaba sat for a moment, trying to calm herself. "Yes, you're right. I knew that part of you was a monster. Sometimes it's easy to forget, since you seem to be such a decent guy."

"Lyches are monsters. ~ Abramelin Keldor

Tonight, he'd looked broken. She'd been afraid to touch him, as if one brush of skin would send him shattering into a million pieces. But then she had, and he'd clung to her as if he'd been afraid to let go. Some people might see it as weakness, but she didn't. She knew how it felt to have life yank the rug out from under you. She knew what it meant to need someone to hold you, to share the weight of the world for a minute. For a second. She would have held him all night. And then her father had shown up to act like Detective Dickhead. As usual. ~ Brigid Kemmerer

Detective work is ninety-nine percent boring and one percent the kind of excitement no one should ever experience. ~ Marshall Thornton

I am a private detective. I am paid to be inquisitive and presumptuous. ~ Douglas Adams

Gary Robinson died hungry.

He wanted fried chicken, the three-piece box for $2.19. Drunk, loud, and obnoxious, he pushed ahead of seven customers on line at a fast-food chicken outlet. The counter girl told him that his behavior was impolite. She calmed him down with sweet talk, and he agreed to step to the end of the line. His turn came just before closing time, just after the fried chicken ran out.

He punched the counter girl so hard her ears rang, and a security guard shot him - three times. ~ Edna Buchanan

Ain't no Jesus in Snowtown, Detective. ~ Warren Ellis

Rita folded her arms around herself and peered up at me. If you'd asked me
three months ago I'd have said you were hitting the bottle too hard. But then I
got stabbed and should have died, but instead a bunch of cops and ambulance
people showed up because somebody who wasn't even there sent them on ahead to save my life. If something like that happens to someone like me, you start to
have a little faith in something bigger. I don't know if I believe in magic or miracles all the time. But I believe in you, Detective Walker. I believe in you. ~ C.E. Murphy

I remember watching 'Colombo' a lot with my dad. That was one of the first detective shows I remember watching. And I remember my dad turning to me - my dad loves to turn to me and explain why things are funny. He used to do that with 'Seinfeld' all the time. He did it with 'Colombo', too, set the scene. ~ Stephanie Beatriz

You know, if Tony had turned you over his knee more often instead of spoiling you rotten, you'd be a happy housewife now, instead of playing at detective and making it harder for us to get our job done.

But I'm a happy detective, Bobby, and I made a lousy housewife. ~ Sara Paretsky

Clemens laughed until he began coughing again. "Don't you see, James?" he said at last. "You and I are only minor characters in this story about the Great Detective. Our little lives and endings mean nothing to the God-Writer, whoever the sonofabitch might be. ~ Dan Simmons

We would never call inexplicable little insights 'hunches,' for fear of drawing the universe's attention. But they happened, and you knew you had been in the proximity of one that had come through if you saw a detective kiss his or her fingers and touch his or her chest where a pendant to Warsha, patron saint of inexplicable inspirations, would, theoretically, hang. ~ China Mieville

Literature is the extant body of written art. All novels belong to it.
The value judgement concealed in distinguishing one novel as literature and another as genre vanishes with the distinction.
Every readable novel can give true pleasure. Every novel read by choice is read because it gives true pleasure.
Literature consists of many genres, including mystery, science fiction, fantasy, naturalism, realism, magical realism, graphic, erotic, experimental, psychological, social, political, historical, bildungsroman, romance, western, army life, young adult, thriller, etc., etc…. and the proliferating cross-species and subgenres such as erotic Regency, noir police procedural, or historical thriller with zombies.
Some of these categories are descriptive, some are maintained largely as marketing devices. Some are old, some new, some ephemeral.
Genres exist, forms and types and kinds of fiction exist and need to be understood: but no genre is inherently, categorically superior or inferior.

(Hypothesis on Literature vs. Genre) ~ Ursula K. Le Guin

That was still my meat - the true-detective yarn. I picked it up and started to read it over, wondering for the ten thousandth time why so many people are interested in crime and its solution. ~ Robert Bloch

The noir universe hates do-gooders so it tries to pound them and punish them. ~ Duane Swierczynski

There were some things that I found I really enjoyed singing about; like, on the title track, there's this film-noir character of a woman who's sort of losing it in a room. ~ Diana Krall

A selection of quotes from The Night of Harrison Monk's Death (Jane Hetherington's Adventures in Detection: 1)
"Is this one of the more unusual cases of safe-breaking you've been asked to investigate, Mrs Hetherington?"
"Remember your private detective wants to be able to sleep soundly at night and in their own bed, not one supplied as her Majesty's pleasure."
"It seems to be an open and shut case doesn't it? But it's not you know? How do you know if anything is what it seems?"
"But where is Cheung kin?"
"When I first set eyes on your father, he was spying on a man from between two volumes of the Encyclopaedia Britannica."
"I don't think I need say more." "On the contrary, if you want me to have any idea what you're talking about, I think you do."
"Why don't you report it to the police?" "Because I stole it in the first place didn't I?"
"It's something of a mystery, I admit."
"Vanished into thin air!"
"You sound so sensible Mrs Hetherington. Please help us get to the bottom of this."
Ah, thought Jane – the old story.
"No body was found?"
"Shall I put the kettle on?" "Only if you fill it with whiskey."
"The course of true love didn't run smoothly for me either, you know."
"Life has its tragedies for sure."
"… What do I want? I want money that's what I want. I want money."
She was even more horrified by the words she heard next.
Callum MacCallum knew what it was like to be an outsider. ~ Nina Jon