Comedy Bang Bang Quotes

...Long story longer... ~ Dana Gould

Thank you for listening to Comedy Bang Bang! My name is Scott Aukerman and I will see you next week. ~ Scott Aukerman

In the external world, she is the force of evolution, the erotic thrust at the heart of life. She is the intrinsic creative drive that fueled the big bang and continues to unfold as stars, galaxies, planets, life-forms, species, and also human societies, cultures and individual consciousness itself. ~ Sally Kempton

Sidharth and me were supposed to work much before Bang Bang, we were in talks for a few films which didnt work out ... ~ Katrina Kaif

In London - and forget those extra public pressures on politicians - the lovely old Sloane world of manor houses simply hasn't cut it since Big Bang in 1986, the point at which Mrs. Thatcher really started to achieve her ambition to make this country more like America - its ambition, economy, it's very tangible measures of success. ~ Peter York

I'm interested in contemporary vision - the flicker of chrome, reflections, rapid associations, quick flashes of light. Bing! Bang! ~ James Rosenquist

The big bang, the most cataclysmic event we can imagine, on closer inspection appears finely orchestrated. ~ George Smoot

DON'T wear loud clanging bangles at work, it's disruptive and noisy and your coworkers won't appreciate it! Bangles should have a gentle wind-chimey tinkle, not the crash bang of a million pots and pans. ~ Padma Lakshmi

Decker lifted his eyes skyward, expecting something to happen. He didn't know what, perhaps for the stars overhead to explode into shimmery fireworks, or for the sky to crack open and pour down rain and thunder to mark the moment. But nothing happened. The most important moment of his life arrived not with a bang as he'd always expected, but with the quiet rustle of wind through the trees and a serene breeze brushing his cheeks. ~ Lynsay Sands

A five-week sand blizzard?" said Deep Thought haughtily. "You ask this of me who have contemplated the very vectors of the atoms in the Big Bang itself? Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff. ~ Douglas Adams

We have not yet figured out why there is more matter than antimatter in the universe. Only one ten-billionth of the original matter in the early universe survived this explosion, and we are part of it. The leading theory is that something violated the perfect symmetry between matter and antimatter at the Big Bang, but we don't know what it is. There is a Nobel Prize waiting for the enterprising individual who can solve this problem. ~ Michio Kaku

Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior. ~ Stephen Colbert

Louise: "How did you get here?"
Johnny: "Well, basically, there was this little dot, right? And the dot went bang and the bang expanded. Energy formed into matter, matter cooled, matter lived, the amoeba to fish, to fish to fowl, to fowl to frog, to frog to mammal, the mammal to monkey, to monkey to man, amo amas amat, quid pro quo, memento mori, ad infinitum, sprinkle on a little bit of grated cheese and leave under the grill till Doomsday. ~ Mike Leigh

Every culture has a myth of the world before creation, and of the creation of the world [.]
These myths are tributes to human audacity. The chief difference between them and our modern scientific myth of the Big Bang is that science is self-questioning, and that we can perform experiments and observations to test our ideas. But those other creation stories are worthy of our deep respect. ~ Carl Sagan

This is the ending. This is the end to several different stories. There will be no bang to it. No cliffhanger. Everything has come to a close and I'm ready to fade out. ~ J.C. Wickhart

I'll tell you," said Beatty, smiling at his cards. "That made you for a little while a drunkard. Read a few lines and off you go over the cliff. Bang, you're ready to blow up the world, chop off heads, knock down women and children, destroy authority. I know. I've been through it all. ~ Ray Bradbury

These days vampires gravitated toward particle accelerators, projects to decode the genome, and molecular biology. Once they had flocked to alchemy, anatomy, and electricity. If it went bang, involved blood, or promised to unlock the secrets of the universe, there was sure to be a vampire around. ~ Deborah Harkness

I don't think the music that I do is nostalgic in any way; I don't think about going back to nice, old-fashioned music. I'm certainly influenced by old music, but I want to bring it slap-bang up to today. ~ Imelda May

Science is a victim of its own reductive metaphors: 'Big Bang,' 'selfish gene' and so on. Richard Dawkins' selfish gene fitted with the Thatcherite politics of the time. It should actually be the 'altruistic gene,' but he'd never have sold as many books with a title like that. ~ Charles Jencks

What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits'? Does he provide her with health insurance? ~ Chuck Lorre

Baby, you remind me of my big toe. Why? Because sooner or later I just know I'm ginna bang you on the table. ~ Vi Keeland

Yeah, you were doing a real bang-up job of it. I particularly liked the way you were bruising his fists with your face. A few minutes more and I'm sure your heart would have been on the attack ... after it was ripped from your chest. (Kat) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

THE ACCIDENT maybe you read it in the paper i was so young just a child i did something stupid nightstand by the bed found it in the drawer that was so often locked but not this time sunlight through curtains high noon reflected on polished steel heavy in my hand pretending to be a cop like my father but more like dirty harry like i saw on tv my little brother burst into the room four years old just four years old without thinking i aimed killer instinct squeeze tug bang slow motion exploding blood not a sound from him as if what happened was completely natural i replay it again and again efficient little hum that burning memory pulled the trigger and watched him fold like a house of cards and the questions hammer through my brain and i ask you again "how much more do i have to pay before becoming whole again? ~ Thee Karkajou Automaton

Now, since we've gone ahead and acknowledged that we're about to die, how about some end-of-the-world sex? If we're going out, we should go out with a bang and a really good orgasm."

Meg pointedly zipped up her jacket. "You're worried Beck and Ci will be upset if you send me in alone, but you think they'll be okay with a little infidelity?"

"It's for a good cause," Dante explained innocently. "Besides, if they don't understand and we happen to survive and they happen to survive, then the ass-kicking I get will be totally worth it. And if you do anal, that would make my death so much more meaningful. ~ Sophie Oak

My instinct, of course, is to imagine us as one of many planets racing its evolution against its sun--merely one in the galactic Darwinian pursuit. But maybe we're not. Maybe all this talk of the inevitability of aliens is garbage and we're miraculously, beautifully alone in our biological success. What if we're winning? What if we're actually the most evolved intelligence in all this big bang chaos? What if other planets have bacteria and single-celled genotypes but nothing more?

The precedent is all the more pressing. Humans alone could be winning the race against our giant gas time bomb and running with the universal Olympic torch. What an honor. What a responsibility. What a gift we have been given to be born in an atmosphere with oxygen and carbon dioxide and millions of years and phenotypes cheering us on with recycles of energy.

The thing is, I think we can make it. I think we can shove ourselves into spaceships before things get too cold.

I only hope we don't fuck things up before that. Because millions of years is a long time and I don't want to let the universe down. ~ Marina Keegan

Darwin and Karl Marx didn't reveal the secret of the world. Of all the theories about creation, the one expounded in Genesis is the most intelligent. All this talk about primordial mists or the Big Bang is a wild absurdity. If someone found a watch on an island and said it had been made by itself or that it developed through evolution, he would be considered a lunatic. But according to modern science, the universe evolved all on its own. Is the universe less complicated than a watch? ~ Isaac Bashevis Singer

When the bombers are women - and children, which I predict we'll see more of - the terrorists get more bang for their buck, because there's more media attention. ~ Mia Bloom

For years and years, even during the time of my first visit in 1962, it has been said that Calcutta was dying, that its port was silting up, its antiquated industry declining, but Calcutta hadn't died. It hadn't done much, but it had gone on; and it had begun to appear that the prophecy has been excessive. Now it occurred to me that perhaps this was what happened when cities died. They don't die with a bang; they didn't die only when they were abandoned. Perhaps, they died like this: when everybody was suffering, when transport was so hard that working people gave up jobs they needed because the fear the suffering of the travel; When no one had clean water or air; No one could go walking. Perhaps city died when they lost amenities that cities provided, the visual excitement, the heightened sense of human possibility, and became simply places where there were too many people, and people suffered. ~ V.S. Naipaul

We have to get rid of pain in ass. She will not let me have good time. We should take her out."
"Take her out where?"
Hanni grinned. "You know. Take her out. Waste her. Bang bang. Curtains."
"Hanni, I don't think we're going to be able to waste the baroness, but I agree she's not going to make things pleasant for us."
"Then we must plan way to make her go home."
"Make it not nice for her here. She likes to eat. Serve her very little food."
"For someone straight from the convent, you are quite devious," I said.
"What means devious?"
"Sneaky."
"Oh, like pulling a fast one," she said, beaming. "Yeah. Sure thing, baby. ~ Rhys Bowen

if the Big Bang had been one-part-in-a-million more powerful, it would have rushed out too fast for the galaxies and life to develop. If the strong nuclear force were decreased 2 percent, atomic nuclei wouldn't hold together, and plain-vanilla hydrogen would be the only kind of atom in the universe. If the gravitational force were decreased by a hair, stars (including the Sun) would not ignite. ~ Robert Lanza

And he would be gone. Whatever he was made of--stardust or ash or life or death--would be gone. Not with a bang, but with a whimper. In with gunfire and out with smoke. And August wasn't ready to Dolly. Even if surviving wasn't simple, or easy, or fair.. Even if he could never be human. He wanted a chance to matter. He wanted to live. ~ Victoria Schwab

Moments like that, I thought maybe there was a God, a fickle puppet-master who decided it was time to remind us that life isn't just an echo of the Big Bang - that we're here, with beating hearts. ~ Vikki Wakefield

It seems like we're spending billions of dollars on whiz-bang technology and not enough money on human resources, which really is proven to be the most effective way of stopping terrorism. ~ Mike Huckabee

If you think," he began, "that being sober and working steadily broke my bullshit meter, now you know better. I knew you were nailing Cross again from the moment you started back up."
Biting into my taco, I shot him a skeptical look.
"Eva honey, don't you think that if there were another man in New York who could bang it out all night like Cross, I would've found him by now? ~ Sylvia Day

Physicists are working on the Big Bang, and one day they may or may not solve it. ~ Richard Dawkins

In the City Market is the Meet Café. Followers of obsolete, unthinkable trades doodling in Etruscan, addicts of drugs not yet synthesized, pushers of souped-up harmine, junk reduced to pure habit offering precarious vegetable serenity, liquids to induce Latah, Tithonian longevity serums, black marketeers of World War III, excusers of telepathic sensitivity, osteopaths of the spirit, investigators of infractions denounced by bland paranoid chess players, servers of fragmentary warrants taken down in hebephrenic shorthand charging unspeakable mutilations of the spirit, bureaucrats of spectral departments, officials of unconstituted police states, a Lesbian dwarf who has perfected operation Bang-utot, the lung erection that strangles a sleeping enemy, sellers of orgone tanks and relaxing machines, brokers of exquisite dreams and memories tested on the sensitized cells of junk sickness and bartered for raw materials of the will, doctors skilled in the treatment of diseases dormant in the black dust of ruined cities, gathering virulence in the white blood of eyeless worms feeling slowly to the surface and the human host, maladies of the ocean floor and the stratosphere, maladies of the laboratory and atomic war... A place where the unknown past and the emergent future meet in a vibrating soundless hum... Larval entities waiting for a Live One... ~ William S. Burroughs

Is what makes you solid a part of you? If the answer is yes, then you are a child of the big bang and a descendant of explosions, collisions, catastrophes, stars, and galaxies.
The protons in your hand have been through every slam, every bash, every disaster, and every creative crash this cosmos has ever managed to throw their way. [...] The story of those cosmic calamities and material miracles is your biography. The story of the universe - from protons and suns to curiosity - is your history. ~ Howard Bloom

Many interesting things have been observed with neuroimaging machines. Synapses firing, electrical charges, patterns. Sparks. The big bang (birth of a thought) perhaps?

It will be most interesting to observe new information around this subject in the future. ~ Cheri Bauer

To understand the universe in the state that it began in, the so-called Big Bang, we need laws of physics that work better than our current set of rules and procedures, which break down when we try to push them back to the beginning. ~ David Gross

And then Julia's thinking about the internet and blogging; how everyone with a keyboard thinks they can just bang out articles no problem, never mind research or quality control. ~ Claire Hennessy

My love will come
will fling open her arms and fold me in them,
will understand my fears, observe my changes.
In from the pouring dark, from the pitch night
without stopping to bang the taxi door
she'll run upstairs through the decaying porch
burning with love and love's happiness,
she'll run dripping upstairs, she won't knock,
will take my head in her hands,
and when she drops her overcoat on a chair,
it will slide to the floor in a blue heap. ~ Yevgeny Yevtushenko

When I was first starting out, you'd have to bang an old upright piano and stick a mike in it and it would always feed back and you could never turn it up loud enough to be heard and I would beat my hands black and blue and bloody. ~ Edgar Winter

Perhaps this view has to do with the beginnings of modern America, which are to me, like the big bang theory, violent and wonderous. No one was safe from hatred and betrayal. Everyone was fighting to survive. It seemed the American Gypsies weren't immune to the neck-breaking race for what became the American Dream. Like so many others, they were more than willing to cut their roots in order to stake their claim on prosperity. Could that be the reason the American Gypsies largely escaped the more malevolent prejudices their European counterparts suffered? ~ Oksana Marafioti

To the degree that Lawrence's face was familiar, it was killingly so - as if she had been gradually getting to know him for over nine years and then, bang, he was known. ~ Lionel Shriver

There is a massive, irreconcilable conflict between science and religion. Religion was humanity's original cosmology, biology and anthropology. It provided explanations for the origin of the world, life and humans. Science now gives us increasingly complete explanations for those big three. We know the origins of the universe, the physics of the big bang and how the basic chemical elements formed in supernovas. We know that life on this planet originated about 4 billion years ago, and we are all descendants of that original replicating molecule. Thanks to Darwin we know that natural selection is the only workable explanation for the design and variety of all life on this planet. Paleoanthropologists and geneticists have reconstructed much of the human tree of life. We are risen apes, not fallen angels. We are the most successful and last surviving African hominid. Every single person on this Earth, all 7 billion of us, arose 50,000 years ago from small bands of African hunter-gatherers, a total population of somewhere between 600 and 2,000 individuals. ~ J. Anderson Thomson

We were all around for the big bang, but not as what we look like today. ~ Anthony T. Hincks

This was how the world ended. Not with a bang, but with a whimper. ~ Andrea Speed

Jealousy & Zeal were the split personalities of Zelos. Just as Eros & Himeros were uncoupled in the Big Bang, so were Jealousy & Zeal. Zelos[Jealousy] remained as part of Eros[Love] whilst Zelos[Zeal] found himself reborn through the descendants of Uranus & Gaea as a son of Styx & Pallas, & accordingly, as a brother of Nike[Victory], Cratos[Power & Strength] & Bia[Force & Violence], all four being in the entourage of Zeus. After Nike combined with Athena to form "Pallas Athena", Zelos[Zeal] merged with Zelos[Jealousy] as part of Eros[Love].Zelos[Jealousy], as part of Love was responsible for the relentless jealousy of Hera who zealously persecuted all her husband`s paramours & their children![GLOS] ~ Nicholas Chong

Physicists explain creation by telling us that the universe began with the Big Bang, an intense energy singularity that continued expanding. But who created the singularity? ~ Ashwin Sanghi

We are the ripples of the Big Bang in human form. ~ Shai Tubali