Christmas Hookup Quotes

The only ride I'm interested in is on you, cowboy, but I'm sure all the women say that. ~ Lex Valentine

I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't. ~ Milton Berle

I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange. ~ Henny Youngman

Our lives are based on what is reasonable and common sense;
Truth is apt to be neither. ~ Christmas Humphreys

Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?!
Hobbes: Santa makes the toys, so he gets to decide who to give them to.
Calvin: Oh. ~ Bill Watterson

He smiled at her as Julia threw a snowball at Calla that missed her by a mile. Grinning, Calla quickly armed herself and threw one at Julia; only it missed her too and hit Guthrie in the crotch. Good thing it was soft snow. He grinned and wiped off the snow, slowly, deliberately, wolfishly.
Calla looked like she could burst into flames, she was so red faced. He started laughing. ~ Terry Spear

If we're open to it, God can use even the smallest thing to change our lives ... to change us. It might be a laughing child, car brakes that need fixing, a sale on pot roast, a cloudless sky, a trip to the woods to cut down a Christmas tree, a school teacher, a Dunhill Billiard pipe ... or even a pair of shoes.
Some people will never believe. They may feel that such things are too trivial, too simple, or too insignificant to forever change a life. But I believe.
And I always will. ~ Donna VanLiere

Christmas is the perfect time to celebrate the love of God and family and to create memories that will last forever. Jesus is God's perfect, indescribable gift. The amazing thing is that not only are we able to receive this gift, but we are able to share it with others on Christmas and every other day of the year. ~ Joel Osteen

You're not going to turn into a wanker, are you?" says Tone, opening a can of larger.
"What do you mean?"
"He means you're not going to get all studenty on us," says Spencer.
"Well, I am a student. I mean, I will be, so, ... "
"No, but I mean you're not gong to get all twatty and up-your-own-arse and come home at Christmas in a gown, talking Latin and saying "one does" and "one thinks" and all that ... "
"Yeah, Tone, that's EXACTLY what I'm going to do. ~ David Nicholls

A new star, the Christ child, God's gift to mankind; these are what Christmas is made of. ~ Richelle E. Goodrich

Merry Christmas. His would be without the Merry for sure. ~ Debbie Macomber

Hello?" I answered the phone.
"Hello…Ree?" The strong male voice on the other end said.
"Hey, Walrus!" I shrieked enthusiastically. There was a long, silent pause.
"Walrus?" I repeated.
The deep voice began again. "You might not remember me--we met at the J-Bar last Christmas?"
It was the Marlboro Man. ~ Ree Drummond

Christmas is a great time to recommit to each other and our communities. ~ James Lankford

I knew it," she snapped. "You're no different from all men. You're just another jerk pretending to be single! I didn't wanna wrap a lie into a Christmas present anyway. ~ Maha Erwin

Speaking of ... does this mean you get your phone back?" I shrug. "I don't really want that phone back. I'm hoping my whipped boyfriend will get me an iPhone for Christmas. ~ Colleen Hoover

I must court her now,' said the Prince. 'Leave us alone for a minute.' He rode the white expertly down the hill.
Buttercup had never seen such a giant beast. Or such a rider.
'I am your Prince and you will marry me,' Humperdinck said.
Buttercup whispered, 'I am your servant and I refuse.'
'I am your Prince and you cannot refuse.'
'I am your loyal servant and I just did.'
'Refusal means death.'
'Kill me then.'
'I am your Prince and I'm not that bad - how could you rather be dead than married to me?'
'Because,' Buttercup said, 'marriage involves love, and that is not a pastime at which I excel. I tried once, and it went badly, and I am sworn never to love another.'
'Love?' said Prince Humperdinck. 'Who mentioned love? Not me, I can tell you. Look: there must always be a male heir to the throne of Florin. That's me. Once my father dies, there won't be an heir, just a king. That's me again. When that happens, I'll marry and have children until there is a son. So you can either marry me and be the richest and most powerful woman in a thousand miles and give turkeys away at Christmas and provide me a son, or you can die in terrible pain in the very near future. Make up your own mind.'
'I'll never love you.'
'I wouldn't want it if I had it.'
'Then by all means let us marry. ~ William Goldman

Damn fool," Mother whispered, and covered her face with her hands. "It's not enough that he spells out Leon on the roof every year in Christmas lights. Now this!"
My father was dyslexic but would not admit it. ~ Amanda Kyle Williams

What is the message of Christmas? It is the birth of the One who promised peace, joy and love. ~ Ravi Zacharias

Weaponry, trips to the sun country, tiny bathing suits, For Christmas. "Nothing says Peace on Earth like guns and string bikinis. ~ Lisa Jackson

Time cant be given. But it can be shared. ~ Cecelia Ahern

I don't think of Home Depot as romantic, but I do think the Christmas wonderland they put up during the holidays is magical. That is what Home Depot is to me, and that is the only romantic thing about it. ~ Betty Who

The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty. ~ Andy Rooney

When the holly's in the red
And the pine is in the green,
When the mornings all are frosty,
In a brilliant silver sheen
Then I love to go a' walking
Rambling here and there, quite slow,
Plucking greenery and berries;
Wishing for a Christmas snow ~ Rachel Heffington

He dipped his head to kiss her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he slowly lowered her back to the floor. He took his time tasting her lips, her tongue, memorizing the feel of her curves against him. He pulled back and looked into her eyes.
She gripped the front of his shirt, holding him in place. "Don't stop."
"No, no more stopping." He kissed her again, getting lost in the blur of clothes being tossed off, her skin under his fingertips, and the hum of his heart as he fully let himself fall. ~ Cindi Madsen

The older I get
the quicker Christmas comes,
but if I had to give up the heavenly
taste of Guinness dark, I couldn't
live another goddamn day. Darling,
you can chisel that into my headstone. ~ Yusef Komunyakaa

I love Christmas tree bulbs, and I started putting them in my paintings. You've got to plug this painting in, and it's got a rig in the back, so that each one can be replaced if it burns out. ~ David Lynch

Christmas is God lighting a candle; and you don't light a candle in a room that's already full of sunlight. You light a candle in a room that's so murky that the candle, when lit, reveals just how bad things really are. ~ N. T. Wright

Advent: the time to listen for footsteps - you can't hear footsteps when
you're running yourself. ~ Bill McKibben

But the Promise showed their wildest dreams had simply not been wild enough. ~ Michael Card

Oh Come All Ye Faithful "Occum" Claus stood a head taller than most of the other men at the party. Like most of his crazy family, he wore a Santa suit, only the coat of his outfit was missing, exposing suspenders and a sleeveless white tank top. The man was heavily muscled and looked angry; a mixture of holiday cheer and a Navy SEAL having a really bad day. He was the picture that went along with the headline "Christmas Nightmare" or "Crazed Santa Attacks Orphans with Fire Ax. ~ Elizabeth Gannon

At Christmas, all roads lead home. ~ Marjorie Holmes

He was acutely aware of her chest rising and falling as she tortured him with silence for several seconds before finally opening her baby blues and saying, "That Was Epic." Then she broke into a fit of laughter. ~ Robin Bielman

Christmas: the one time of year when you can't avoid the nuts in your family muesli. ~ Charles Stross

I prefer Christmas, which is everybody's holiday. It's just my nature. I don't like to be zeroed in on en masse. ~ Joni Mitchell